a/n: this chapter is dedicated to RandomAndFandom for literally being the best

Sherlock and Moriarty were sitting inside the Tardis, listening to the faint buzz of the mechanics. Sherlock was thinking about how PewDiePie didn't give them as much information as he wanted, and Moriarty was thinking about how he would look in a crown.

"Where are we going now?" Sherlock asked, getting sick of having to follow Moriarty around. "When do we get to Jawn?"

"I'm not really sure where we're going, I think it's somewhere over the rainbow. And you'll see John when you see him, we've got to get to the centre of the earth first!"

"Then why are we going over a rainbow?"

Moriarty glared at him. "Don't question, just respect."

Sherlock folded his arms angrily, and hugged his knees to his chest. He wanted his Johnny boy, that was the only reason why he agreed to go on this quest anyways.

All of a sudden, everything started shaking, and there was a grinding noise from outside the Tardis !!!

"What is happening? We're travelling through time and space, what could possibly be out there?!" Sherlock squealed.

"Space worms." Moriarty said gravely.

"WHAT?!"

"I said SPACE WORMS! You want me to spell it out for you?!"

"Well what do we do!?"

"We have to land! It's the only way!" Moriarty was now fiddling around with the controls.

"But if we stop now we could end up ANYWHERE!" Sherlock said with a note of panic in his voice.

"Would you rather get eaten by worms!?" He was turning dials and the Tardis was whizzing, alarms were blaring.

"Worms eat DIRT!"

"You tell them Sherly!"

Sherlock paused, "that's not what I-"

There was a loud jolt and a crash, that sent both of the men flying. The Tardis had stopped moving!

"I can still hear the worms outside..." Sherlock said.

Then instead of grinding, they could both hear metallic pinging noises and a man shouting. The doors of the Tardis flew open.

"You alright boys?"

It was Captain America!!! He was even wearing his tight suit and carrying a metal-frisbee.

"We're fine! You saved us!" Moriarty said rushing to him and leaping into his giant arms.

"Uh, oh.. yeah." He laughed nervously. "You're welcome and stuff."

Sherlock got up and dusted off his coat before ruffling the broken bits of metal out of his hair. "I think the Tardis is going to need some repairs."

Captain America tried to put Moriarty down but he wouldn't let go of his neck. "Uh, yeah," he said giving up, "I can get Tony to took at it for you."

"As in Tony STARK!?" Moriarty squealed, a girlish laugher creeping into his voice.

"Yep." Was all that he said, he obviously wasn't sure what to make of Moriarty.

Sherlock was standing there awkwardly. "Thanks Captain America! Can we go meet the gang?"

"Of course," he smiled. "And please, call me Steve."

***

"And that's how I stole a leprechaun's gold, got laid, and snuck into a nirvana concert, all in one night!" Tony said, finishing up a story he was telling as Steve, Moriarty and Sherlock walked into the room. Everyone's laughter died down.

"STEVE!!" Suddenly shouted a voice, and Bucky came running out from behind the table.

"Hey Buck," said Steve, embracing him with his giant arms.

Moriarty's mouth dropped open.

"I missed you soooo much!" Bucky said nestling his head under Steve's chin

"I was only gone five minutes, I had to take care of those space worms."

Bucky was about to reply when Moriarty interrupted loudly. "You two are TOGETHER!?"

Bucky started to look really pissed off and it was clear that Steve was sizing the little villain up.

"You guys are gay?" He said, only worsening the situation.

Bucky rolled his eyes before stepping up, and in a complete deadpan voice he said: "Captain America has opened my ass so many times that Thor could use it as portal to Asgard."

Everyone seemed to hold their breath.

"I think I'll avoid using your ass as a method of transportation, Steve," Thor interrupted in a deep rumbly voice.

Everyone lost it.

Natasha was laughing so hard that the martini she was drinking came out of her nose. Hawkeye smashed his fist on the table and almost fell out of his chair. Sherlock rolled his eyes and Moriarty just looked a little embarrassed.

When everyone's laughter had died down Moriarty piped up again. "What I meant was that I really like you Steve," he said seductively, putting a hand on his bicep.

That's when Bucky punched him with his metal arm.

"Whoa!! Hey hey," Tony said, putting himself between them. Everyone was getting up out of their seats ready for a fight. "Calm down guys," Tony knelt down and checked Moriarty to see if he was even alive. "Little sucker's out cold!" He laughed.

"Tony?" Steve asked as Iron Man got out of his crouch.

"Yeah?"

"Do you think you can fix up the Tardis for Sherlock here?"

"Sure thing buddy," Tony said clapping him on the back. "It'll be fixed up in no time!" He called, before walking out.

Silence again, everyone's attention was fixed on Sherlock.

"Like a drink?" asked the Hulk.

"Sure," Sherlock said, resigning himself to the fact that he'd have to mingle. He took a seat.

"You're Sherlock right?" Natasha asked, taking a sip of her martini.

"The one and only," Sherlock replied, flipping his hair, which was quite impressive considering that he didn't have hair long enough to flip.

"What brings you here?" Hawkeye piped up, as he brought over a bowl of Doritos and set in on the table.

"I'm looking for my blogger." Sherlock said, taking one of the triangle snacks from the bowl.

"Oh you're looking for John!! I've read your guy's blog! It's the cutest thing EVER! You're always solving crimes together and flirting but pretending nothing happened!! I LOOOOVE it, John is such a smol bean and you're like a total cinnamon roll!" Thor was squealing and practically standing on his chair.

"Yeah... Thor's quite the enthusiast." Steve laughed. He was cuddling with Bucky on the couch.

"Ah," Sherlock said, not really sure what to make of the situation.

***

They chatted for quite awhile before Tony came stumbling back into the room, Moriarty was still passed out.

"Hhhoware youguuuys doinf?" Tony was obviously quite drunk.

"Tony!" Natasha said, a tone of annoyance in her voice.

"I ficksed the tarrrrdus," he slurred.

"TONY WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO TO THIS!?" Bellowed the hulk, looking a little green.

"Shh," said Natasha, calming hulk down. "Tony weren't you trying to stay sober?"

"Well yoo can all see how thaaaat wwent" Tony said stumbling a bit. He had stains from previously spilt drinks on the front of his shirt. "Hahhaha."

Sherlock frowned. "We'd better go..."

"No no, sugar don't go," whined Tony, his eyes were half closed and he was approaching Sherlock, reaching out.

"Uh," Sherlock tried to back up but he ran into the table making all the dishes clatter.

"Kiss me," Tony said.

All the Avengers looked a little bored, this had obviously happened before. Suddenly, Moriarty snapped awake.

"Did someone say KISS ME??" He was on his feet in an instant. "In fact, I am Irish." Moriarty took three quick steps over to where Tony was standing and kissed him on the mouth.

"Ew," Hawkeye said.

"Awesome," said Bucky - taking out his Rose Gold iPhone 7 and starting to take a video.

After a few more minutes of sloppy kissing, Sherlock grabbed Moriarty's wrist and dragged him towards the door. "Thanks for all your help, but we're leaving!!"

Moriarty blew Tony a kiss, and soon they were outside and back into the blue box.

"What the fuck?" Sherlock said, looking at the mess inside. Tony had somehow redecorated the Tardis to be completely Shrek-themed.

"I like it," said Moriarty, happily skipping over to the controls. "Shrek is love, shrek is-"

"Save it," Sherlock said, holding up a hand. He was getting more and more impatient to see Jawn.

Moriarty hummed one of the songs from Shrek, while he flipped a bunch of switches and turned a bunch of dials. When he turned the last switch - the one that would send them on their way - "All Star" by Smashmouth starting blaring inside the Tardis from every direction.

SOMEBODY ONCE TOLD ME THE WORLD WAS GONNA ROLL ME

"TURN IT OFF!" Sherlock shouted, covering his ears.

"IF I TURN IT OFF, THEN I HAVE TO SHUT THE TARDIS OFF TOO!!" Moriarty shouted back, clearly into the music anyways.

"FUCK!" Screamed Sherlock over the noise, the Tardis was flying now but everything was rattling and vibrating.

"I THINK SOMETHING'S WRONG!" Moriarty yelled over the noise.

"YOU MEAN OTHER THAN THE FACT THAT 'ALL STAR' IS BLARING FROM EVERY CORNER?!"

"NO I THINK THE TARDIS HAS BEEN..." he paused. "MODIFIED."

SHE WAS LOOKING KIND OF DUMB WITH HER FINGER AND HER THUMB
IN THE SHAPE OF A

"WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?! " Sherlock felt anxiety crawling up his throat.

"I MEANS WE'RE SPIRALLING INTO ANOTHER DIMENSION!!!"

HEY NOW YOU'RE AN ALL STAR
GET YOUR GAME ON