They walked in silence. Comfortable, really comfortable, silence. A well-worn shoe from another time..... before the deal, the baby, the hurt.

John had launched from the car at full pelt to jump in a quick shower at Mendips then just as speedily slipped back out the glossy black front door to her, as she waited in the similar coloured, Austin Princess. Mal acting as driver of course.
The gig was an excellent sauna but with no soap for the stench, the sweat it elicited was almost vile in strength. John had been, putting it politely, 'on the nose'.

Lou slipped her smaller hand in his, and John's fingers immediately played with the ring she hadn't bothered to put back in the jewellery box. It was nice. As the car sailed along familar streets, each party pointed out places and friends they used to know..

It all seemed so long ago.

The sunset had faded away to a rosy glow kissing dusk and as they alighted the car John noted there were still a few pedestrians walking about the streets. Thankfully though, in this neighbourhood, which was a posher part of town, they weren't being harassed or chased down, as of yet anyway, by fawning fans. It was getting proper mad all over southern England though, marauding fans hell bent on screaming the house down and wanting their own little slice of Northern pie- A Beatle.

John looked over to Lou strolling beside him. Watching her nibble on her lip, she was nervous. Completely understandable and silly, all at the same time.

This should take time, be worked at slowly but time was no friend in John's life anymore, time was something he was delved second by second. Brian, having divvied up the hours of the day like slices of cake to the hungry, made sure there was nothing but crumbs of fleeting moments left for personal life, if any at all.

Lots of precious time with Lou was required to get it all right, perfectly right. But would he get it. He would try.

The small bistro was up ahead, close to the barber shop that had all the 'in' photographs of mens 'style' in the window. When John and the lads had started the moptop haircut they went there for quick trim once, to get the length just right. This geezer, the barber, had run them off down the street quick smart.

Brian had recommended this particular restaurant come bistro as it had a pleasant ambience, and was suitable for John's purposes- quiet yet not so posh they both hunkered down in their chairs in fright. He wanted a first date type evening, nothing too heavy.

No bonking or even necking, though he was, of course, open to both eventualities.

The waiter presented their menu, which they shared and Lou ran a digit down the list.

The candles were very nice. Set centre table in pretty little vases but every flicker, every single flutter caused her to recall the past, the night she revealed all her hurt and worry to John so dredging up the night it happened too.

A big difference was a candle to the zebra-like flickers of light which flashed across John's features that fateful night on the hill, but the mind is a funny thing.

Lou beckoned the waiter and got him to snuff the candles and take the pair away.

"Too much?" John nodded to the retreating back of the waiter.

"Whats too much?"

"Too try hard romantic?" John set the menu aside and took his glasses off, rubbing his nose, then face, tiredly. Lou fetched his glasses from his fingers, grabbed her napkin and cleaned them deftly, they were covered in fingerprints.

John's glasses were always, always covered in fingerprints.

"No.... It just made me remember something I would rather not, a bit silly I suppose" Lou popped his glasses on his face and grinned, trying to divert the conversation but she needed to explain as much for him, as for herself "It made me remember the hill....how silly is that" The hollowness and fears came tumbling with her words and she felt a pang in her heart recalling the night once again.

John lifted her hand and kissed the inside of her wrist "It's not silly Louise. If you don't like it, it's ok" He kissed the spot again, the pulse point quivered and whipped to life, a shiver ran from her toes to her fingertips.

"What are we doing?"

"Going slow, having a date, I'm wondering if I can woo you"

"Woo" she giggled "A date, first date, kiss on the doorstep stuff?"

"Whatever you want. Doorstep, hall, here" John grinned like a loon and went back to reading the menu at two inches from his face.

Lou sat and watched him read. Evie needs a daddy and there was one right here wanting the job by the looks, only did she really want to be the girl in the other room again. John dropped the menu aside and turned to face her.

"Stop it"

"Stop what?" Lou returned the words as John sat back in the seat crossing his arms to gaze upon Lou as she sat fidgeting with the napkin, and then, every piece of cutlery in front of her.

"Analysing this, us, the flat, my stupidity. It's going to be all different now, better. I promise" He smiled and pointed out his selection to the waiter, Lou ordered the same "See identical tastes"

"Hmmmm" Louise wove her fingers in his and watched the way he moved his thumb, rubbing gently and evenly over the back of her hand, just so she knew he was there. "Strawberry fields I think"

"What about it?" His hair tumbled over his forehead and she tickled him as she pushed it out of his eyes.

"Next... let's walk strawberry fields"

"Sure! That would be gear" Progress John thought, she wanted to be with him and not be taken directly home. And the park was perfect, a way to see their old and new selves.

Mal sat staring at the newspaper, trying to read the darn thing by the light of the street lamp beside the vehicle, he smiled in the rear view mirror at Louise as she scooted across the seat. "That was quick"

"Johns learnt the art of wolfing it down in one go from George apparently" Louise smiled and when John shoved himself against the door she followed. She had missed him she realised as they ate and drank a little wine, smiling at each other, joking about being grown ups. She'd  missed him so very much.

"Have to don't I, bloody cant shat without an audience if you're too slow" John slung an arm over the back seat and then changed his mind, dropping a palm on Lou's shoulder. "Can you take us up to Straw paddocks Mal?"

Mal nodded and smiled softly. Happy that John was relaxed and calm, smling down at Lou's fingers. It was nice.

As they motored along Lou recalled the noise, the bedlam and the ruckus those girls were causing at the show earlier. She loved their music of course, but it seemed those girls were hounds and the lads their prey....

"I don't know if I could cope with all the hoo-ha going on around the Beatles now, it's like a giant hurricane whipping up... getting stronger and wilder, those girls tonight were crazy"

They had walked through the gates as they were still open thank goodness. Lou doubted she would have been able to shimmy over the far wall in this bloody, what she was now calling it 'bumble bee' frock. Mal had a flashlight so they made good time getting to the knoll, discovering a newly installed bench positioned for their viewing pleasure facing toward the city, with parkland stretched below.

"You'd not have to be in the eye of the storm Lou.... maybe a little more involved, like you could come to the studio for the afternoon, but you don't have to be at the door of a shows letting the ticket holders in"

The lights were not bothering her now and she wondered why.

This now, right here, was near identical to the night before...before that bloody deal was made, but now all she saw was beauty and a gently sea of whimsical mist forming low over part of the town, gobbling the buildings slowly as they disappeared under the blanket of low cloud.

Lou sank back down onto the bench beside John, why was 'them' so easy now, this, right now, was brilliant, his warm fingers, tender ministrations, if this was their always now...

"Warm enough?" John shoved the blanket around them and they watched the lights of cars swish through the clouds of fog, in and out of view like blinking Christmas lights. A ship was approaching the dock on the Mersey somewhere to the north  of them and with it's slow entrance a blast of signalling alarm let all know it's intent.

"Could do with a cuddle" Her wish came true and Lou grinned into John's shoulder as he embraced her. It felt good, like home...his enticing aftershave, those ever present mints rattling in his pocket and Malboro cigarettes tucked in his inside breast pocket. "What's in the bag Johnny?"

"Not telling, my lips are cold"

"Oh, very funny"

"They are, feel 'em" John picked her hand up and banged it comically on his face. She stopped him in his joking then touched them gently, lightly grazing the pale pink stripes of skin that could grow wide with fun or thin with annoyance, turn up or down at the corners whatever the circumstance, here now there was a slight upturn as she ran a lazy finger over them.

"Oh no good, no good indeed. You really should get something done about that" Louie poked his cheek.

"What do you suggest doctor?"

"Too corny"

"What do you suggest Mimi"

"That's just plain weird"

"Kiss me Louie"

"Much more normal like"

Louise was suddenly conscious of every movement she made. All in slow motion it felt like, as she turned a little more to face John, taking his chin, taking the lead, she froze as she was about to lean in.

"Come on Louise, it's just a warm up peck" John had his fingers in her hair stroking the sides of her neck, rubbing a lazy digit over her ear but he didn't make a move to kiss, didn't push, didn't take. "I'm terribly cold" he shivered himself for added effect.

She moved in slow motion, body and mind willing but not seeming to be able to go any faster... she got within his breath again. He'd popped a mint the cheeky bugger. So close to feel him on her skin without his touch, a whisper away from his lips, she left him hanging, waiting til he thought he would have to fail the patience test and take her lips to his instead.

She ended his seconds of torture and made him warm, made them both feel more than they dared, she moved slightly and kissed him deeper til she forgot why she was going slow in the first place.

Daringly she chanced to run her tongue along his bottom lip, making him take over and kiss her with a newly lit passion, fingers stroking his face, hair, shoulders as she held him close. One of them moaned, she wasn't sure if it was her.

"John stop, stop" she laughed and he kissed her again "Winnie please"

"I want you to come home and be me wife proper, no deals and clauses. I love Evie and I believe in us, I think if you gave me a half a chance you could love me Lou"

"I do love you John"

"Not like a brother or mate, forever Louise. Can you see a future or am I going crazy?"

"You're not crazy, but we need to do this slowly, make it right, enjoy each other. A bit difficult when we have put the cart before the horse but.... But we both got the other pretty angry there for a while"

"But that's just the thing. I thought we couldn't have this... that you didn't want it" John was on a mission tumbling words, racing and insistent. Kissing her like she was the only girl in the world, soothing words flooding her ears

"That piece of paper made us baulk at anything to do with us being together and so I made some sort of insipid statement parading around like a stud bull. If you say yes to us, I'm .... I would be happy to wait for you"

"But you didn't want me before all this" Lou was growing increasingly upset with herself -him- them, waving her hand around 'this'. Not understanding that the feelings would be born in a more natural setting, compared to the cease and desist orders they seemed to have encountered before "When I was taking pics at the Cavern, buying your endless beers, geez restringing the guitars, why? I was just Louise, George's sister. That was it. What makes a difference now?"

"Can't I be a little blindside by all this too. You and I have always had an understanding of each other though. Just because we didn't date or weren't involved doesn't mean we hated each other either, now does it"

"No, I guess not"

"And if I felt nothing, zip. Would I have done what I did. Be jealous.....or be here even, right now Louise?"

"No" she breathed the word out as John took her lips gently. Lou parted from him again drawing strength from the cool air as she mulled over the words and their predicament...

That's the crux isn't it, he must have felt something inside to do what he did, and she must have too, for agreeing.

He let her go, but held her hand. He felt her hesitation and tried not to become upset and push her.

He changed the subject.

"Now for the bag..." John looked behind his feet, under the bench and grasped the handle tugging it forward and up into his lap. It was quite big and bulky and the way he manoeuvred it had Lou intrigued. John glanced at her before he slid out, from the bag, a large blue and white striped box, bound by white ribbon, tied in a bow.

"Now I should have given this to you a while back but better late than never, right" John placed the box on Lou's lap it wasn't overly heavy or feathery light either. "Open it luv"

"But I haven't got you anything"

"Just you being right here is worth all the tea in China Louise. Nothing I could want more" John made a funny face in the flashlights beam and Louise smiled softly at his silliness. Thankful he broke the tension that surrounded her, that was ready to engulf her.

"Ok then, here goes ..... hold up, will it bounce out like a jack in the box!?" Lou smiled at the question knowing he wouldn't dare but she was delighted, delighted he would bring her a gift, any gift, jack in the box even.

John shook his head grinning, his arm comfortably slung over her shoulder, he relaxed back watching her but he was still nervous as buggery. If he stuffed up tonight, if she thought he was being insincere.... It didn't bear thinking about.

The ribbon fell away and Lou was almost scared to take the lid away. Could a happily ever after sit in a box or love forever be placed in tissue paper so delicate.. She didn't think so but perhaps the gift would point a way to the place she could be happy, loved, even cherished.

The lid came off and John leaned forward a little more and pointed the flashlight downwards, illuminating up the contents.  Lou pulled the paper away and gasped.

A brand new camera, bottles of her perfume and a letter.

"Oh, John it's too much, much too expensive" Louise admonished gingerly, knowing he had thought of her and went to so much trouble was overwhelming. "You're very naughty"

"I am that" John kissed Lou's cheek as her shaking fingers toyed with the camera strap, it was the latest model, Richy had pointed it out in a magazine not long before she left London. "It's the latest one, Japanese. Takes a hell of pic, I've been told"

"I love it but it's so much, can you afford it?"

"You definitely hadn't been looking in my passbook then ..... I can afford it luv, this and loads more... go on, open up the envelope" John picked up the blue envelope and held it out to her shaking hands, nobody had ever given her so much.

"Now, in here are some pamphlets and ideas I had but it's all up to you- when, where"

Lou pulled the wad of paper out, the first had a picture of palm trees, the second the New York skyline, the third a kangaroo and so on. More and more places, holidays she guessed, Lou looked up and nibbled her lip then smiled carefully. "A holiday somewhere, us and Evie, the three of us!?"

"And some of the lads might like to tag along, separate everything's of course or just we three, whatever, anything to make you happy"

The box was placed aside and Lou launched onto John. He was being so wonderful and generous and kind. She kissed him silly, hugging him close.

Then the worried face returned "I, I don't mean to mean that I only like you for the presents Johnny"

"I know Lou, you're too decent to do a skank act like that" John pulled her in for a cuddle, laughing "Enough perfume there to last ten years, I'd think!"

~~~~~~

Mal drove a few hundred yards behind as they meandered up the street, headlights illuminating their body's, side by side, step by step, showing up the dangers, if any, ahead.

"We really should just get in the car, poor Mal" Louise tried tugging John back to the vehicle but he was steadfast in taking all of the night to himself.

"We only have a block or two, one now that we're on the corner" John picked up the pace slightly, trying to distract Louise. All he got for his troubles was her slipping his grasp and dashing back to Mal. "Come on Louise" he pleaded quietly not to wake the street.

She didn't get in, just chatted a few seconds with Mal at the drivers window then to John's amusement she skipped back to his side as Mal drove off, she was grinning like the Cheshire cat.

"Now what?"

"Now you stay and feed Evie breakfast" Louise scurried ahead hoping not to be interrogated, reaching the porch first she turned and was met with a grin so wide his eyes crinkled "You need to be quiet"

"Course, but will you..."

"No hanky panky, Winston"

"Awwww"

Louise slid the key in the lock but was turned around before she could even jiggle the door handle, her fingers finding Johns shoulders instead, he kissed her against the door holding her, rubbing fingers along her sides.

"First date -kiss on the doorstep" John mumbled along her cheek as she sighed, if he was going to be this attentive she may just expire.

****

"Oh, look at her, my darlin,' gotten so big" John whispered as he put a little kiss on Evie's forehead then turned and made predatory advances back toward Louie as she took her stockings off, sat on the edge of the bed "Here allow me"

"No hanky-"

"-panky. Yeah yeah yeah" He smiled at his use of the songs chorus as he kneeled and ever so slowly rolled one leg of hose down over her foot "cuddles..... it's been done. I'm quite capable of cuddling, Louise"

"Sure?" She grinned then held her breathe as he felt around for the suspenders clip holding up the other stocking making her shiver as his fingers searched and probed in not exactly the right spot.

It sure got hot all of a sudden, Louise thought, the room felt like the windows were fogging up, like a car with goings on the back seat. She watched John put her stocking with the other and return to stand in front of her and take his shoes off from the heels with his toes he never bothered to untie them... she undid his tie that was already loose around his neck, letting the silk slide through the collar slowly.

She didn't risk putting a hand to his zipper that's where lines would surely be crossed, she stood instead and asked that he unzip her dress.

"This 'ere frock is made for you, touching all the right spots for a boy to yearn for and a man to discover" He slipped it off her shoulders and she clung to it as he turned her round "please just a peek, no touching"

"none?" Louise raised an eyebrow and was pretty uncertain about letting the dress fall, if he pounced- would she stop him.

Would her Ma or Pa come running from the ruckus they would surely make, if she didn't.

She yearned to be back in the flat in that moment, them together like this, open to entertaining each other, discovering each other...

She felt his eyes burning her skin, the dress fell away and pooled around her feet, she stepped out and bent down to pick it up and he hissed long and low.... perhaps she should have left it to crinkle on the floor. The light was soft, only enough to read by and.... see bra and panties, suspenders too.

"I missed you picking up the toys and my clothes off the floor. That Lou, was my secret daily feast"

She picked up his tie.

"Don't tease Louise it isn't nice. Come here darlin'" John touched her skin with barely any pressure just a trace along her hips, around her waist over her bum, up then, over her nipples sending them harder than she thought possible "You know these curves, weren't here that very long ago" he turned and spoke quietly to Evie as she slept "Thank-you Evie" Lou giggled.

They settled into the small bed, it was a squeeze, she in her nightie he in his boxers, chatting quietly about places to go, what madness went on at shows...recalling the long nights and days that would sit and wallow or flee in fast forward, when all you really wanted was for them to fade away to yesterdays.

Kisses lingered and hands searched, tracing maps, finding beauty and ridges and plains, never any further than necking and Johns almost hesitant touching of her breast....

They let time slow and crawl them into a place together, a place where they both wanted to be.