Louise fed the baby near midnight or one a.m. she didn't check- it was dark that was all she bothered about knowing.

She grimaced as she laid bub back in the cot, she should really settle on a name, she had been putting it off. The papers that had come last Wednesday sat waiting to be filled in but she had til bub was a few more weeks old to lodge them so Lou dilly dallied and wasted time not wanting to choose somebodies name.

A name that you kept for life, that's a huge responsibility that is right there.... forget the learning to walk and talk, going to school or university. The first big decision was name a child so that they aren't left with a moniker like Richard Wad (dick wad) or William Wonka (willy wonka). Or ones that were a lot worse than that!

Gathering her list, and the one John had left forlorn on the coffee table the week before, she shuffled through the darkened flat.

Johns bedroom door was wide open, his guitar silent, alone on the special stand by the window and his bed untouched, she searched for him in the garden and the front stoop, maybe he was outside for a smoke, but he was nowhere. The man with phoney strings attached had cut them for a night of his favourite debauchery and Lou only had the deal and herself to blame.

John's list was minimal, two rows, five names in each. Silly ones, pretty ones, olden day ones like her grandmothers own -Edith and one name that pulled her towards it like a magnet. 

For Lou knew who it was, who it had been, how sweet a woman she was, how she mothered him too late and caused him confusion and so many tears too soon. How she made life one big sunny day, how John worshipped her crazy ways and wildly wonderful outlook on life, then gone in a second – Julia.

Looking at her own meagre list Louise frowned, she really liked Julia but as a first name it would push sentimental buttons every single time it was uttered, every time they called the name in joy, anger, happiness.... pain- it was so raw and new the loss of Julia, that having Julia as a first name hurt even Lou as she wrote it again at the very bottom of Johns page.

Louise's own page was overflowing, birds drawn near favourites, question marks on so-so ones, underlined monikers were family names to be handed down through the tree of life.

The sleeping infant was born from pain, she was loved that was for sure, but she needed, no Lou needed a name that would reflect beauty, promise and renewal- Eve, Evie for the baby, Eve for the woman she would one day be. 

Was it too alluring from the Garden of Eden, the biblical thoughts of leaves and apples and Adam?

Louise rolled it over her lips, her tongue; speaking it quietly in the darkness as if talking to the little girl, she imagined the child staring back, brown eyes and wide open smile. Lou passed the name and fled towards others on the list but always coming back, always her eyes searching the name out.... she wrote it in front of Julia on the bottom of John's sheet as he finally ambled in the door.

John gave Lou the barest of glances as he tossed his jacket on the seat by the door and walked off for a tub. The booze and smells finally doing his head it, it was putrid and nasty and he needed to wash away his sins.

Lou was still on the couch on his return for a glass of water so he gathered the courage to sit down beside her. He was met with two sheets of paper sat in front of her and reached, picking up the two pages as he slipped his glasses on his nose. He got to the bottom of the second sheet, his sheet and near gapped, a mix of hurt and joy at the two names meeting his eyes, he looked up at Lou who had shifted about to be facing him cross legged.

"Do you like them" she whispered, knowing how he felt, having only recovered from the emotions herself. John teared up and took his glasses off to wipe the annoying sting in the corner of his eyes. Lou closed the distance and hugged him around the shoulders, he sank into her snuggled close, pain in his bones.

"Eve Julia"

"Evie for now, is it too, you know, biblical?" Louise spoke of the first name she had pained over.

"No, it's lovely, beautiful for our Eve" John kissed her cheek, the decision was made. John had wondered why it had taken Lou so long, perhaps she was worried she couldn't mother properly, Louise kissed him back and hugged him to her.

"And Julia? Is that ok for a second name or we could make it Julia Eve if you like?"

John looked at Louise as she nibbled her lip, the naming of the baby a heavy weight and now so close to a decision she worried for him, his feelings, even thought he was not of Eves flesh and blood.

"It's" Johns voice caught, it was a mere few years that his mother had departed this world and here she was front and centre like she always would be, if only in his heart and that of Eves middle name. "It's perfect Louie" the whisper was hoarse as he broke down the wall that stood solid, dropping away to reveal the pain to Lou, she could not mend it but could hold him together somewhat better than any other in his life.

Wrapped up in each other they were closer than just bodies, their hearts sat snug to each other's. Louise could never imagine the pain of a loss like his but if her own ma had left that way she would have floundered and fallen into a pit of despair, she clung to John as he sobbed so very quietly, embarrassed most likely at showing his emotions, baring his soul.

John brought his face up and kissed Louise on the lips then cheeks then hugged her to him, never to let go, he didn't want to let go. He felt his hands, like an out of body experience, settle on her shoulders and let them wander to her cheeks holding her as she closed her eyes, tears had also streaked down her face and he kissed the trail, then her lips again and again, making sure she felt him, felt his love.

Feeling his lips moving over her own was hypnotic and potent, like the devil he dared her to open to him, give more of herself, her hands wove back into his hair, she brought him home allowing him to deepen the touch, his tongue tickling her own, the kiss now past that of friend to one of passion, powerful and profound, she wasn't the pesky sister, she was Louise his wife and he could have her, dare he chose......