The baby was screaming, it was bloody constant, all night long he thought.

Every afternoon before dinner and then from midnight on. He put the pillow over his head and rolled over dragging the blankets higher til he was hidden.

But still he heard the wailing.

The wails, Lou's footsteps up and down, the bounce in her step as she forever trod the floorboards, as she tried her best to jiggle the babe to silence. "Shussssh, Shush bubba" Louises' teary and tired voice strained as she repeated her journey past his door, words laced heavily with defeat.

The baby carried on. 

Lou was in the living room now, the baby in the cot that butted up against the wall of Johns room. He groaned ...... moaned loudly then yelled "For fucks sake, shut the bloody kid up"

Footfalls flew along the hall, the entry cupboard opened and closed hurriedly and the baby got louder as she was carried past, then less so when he heard the front door open then slam shut. 

Lou had gone off down the street, with the baby wailing in her arms. 

John sat up immediately rubbing his eyes, shoving his buddy glasses on his nose and stood to look out the window, he caught a glimpse of Louise disappearing round the corner.

Walking around the bed he grabbed his watch and peered at the hands "Fucking four in the fucking morning" was muttered. Tiredly he sat on the edge of the bed, blankets now fallen to the floor, he scratched the stubble on his chin and thought about Lou walking out in the pre-dawn darkness.

Louise walked blocks, the milkman rumbled past on his deliveries, and a garbo stood staring as she hustled along the desolate street, tipping his hat to her as she made her way round the cans he was about to empty. She continued on til the baby settled and her feet were cold and sore. And it was cold, the temperature was low and even though she was rugged up and the baby more so, Louise surely lost her temperature the longer she was outdoors. Bub was secure,  pressed against Louise body inside her peacoat, the little bundle snug as the proverbial bug in a rug. Louise, even first time parent Louise, was looking after her baby well.

As the sun finally began to make a proper appearance Louise found herself standing in front of the flat, baby asleep snug on her chest bundled in blankets, Lou's hands even though amid blankets were on display, freezing and icy cold without gloves.

And then she debated.

Debated if John was asleep. Debated if she should take another turn around the neighbourhood. Debated if she should even attempt to put the child in the cot- what if bub just woke up and did the last six hours all over again.... and finally she debated if she should have had the baby adopted out like any other fatherless child would have been.

There was plenty of well to do families in the world that wanted desperately for a child of their own and couldn't have one. Perhaps she had made a huge terrible mistake.... Louie stood at the gate and let the tired tears fall silently, she rubbed her nose and dared a look at the little girl that had so easily captured her heart.

No, she couldn't give this piece of herself away, she just wouldn't.... 'best toughen up lass' mother would say, Lou thought.

John viewed the scene from the warmth of the flat, peering out through a small gap in the curtains, watching her cry. 

Angry at himself, mad at Lou for walking out in the dark, mad at how he yelled and made her do so, John opened the door and led her inside, deftly slipping bub away from Louise and sorting the infant in her cot, gently kissing the tiny girl on her forehead.

Lou still stood by the door so he gathered her close and hugged. Hugged for yelling, hugged for not helping and hugged because she felt so icy he thought she would catch a cold.

Lou sniffled into his shoulder and leaned on him, her weight comfortable. He knew her so well for so long, only now they were more strangers in utterly strange circumstances. Louise leaned round John for a tissue on the hall table and stood back in her own space, eyes glassy and red, wiped her nose then nodded and went to leave but John would have none of it and put her back in his arms and began running a hand down her hair, neck, back over and over til she sighed and she relaxed into him, then she was gone, his hands stilled, she was fast asleep. John put Louise carefully in her bed.