It was like being underwater and that is where she thought she was. 

With the fishes, dead, washed to sea perhaps she would be reborn, made a mermaid.

She felt it again the squeeze, the fingers surrounding her palm touching her gentle pressure coasting along her knuckles. Coursing heartbeat ricocheting along her tired arms to her heart. Squeeze 'Louise' Squeeze 'Louise' Squeeze.

It was lulling in a way and she hovered somewhere between the bottom of the deep blue sea and heaven. Lou fell back again, sleep whisking her away....

"John, you need to go and eat" Paul shook his mate as he leaned toward Louise to check her over, her hair fanned in lovely disarray about her face and it looked like John or maybe even George must have brushed her hair. Paul grimaced, as he again shook his bandmates tired hunched shoulders.

The flight to Heathrow and back, although relatively smooth sailing, had made George resentful of Johns absence and even the arrival of a bonny niece was not stirring George to relent his grumblings. Paul and Mal had to physically remove George from the doorway to allow John entry to see Lou, Johns eyes had been black rimmed showing sleep deprivation and worry and he had failed to even acknowledge Georges harassing words thus was his awful state. "John, I'll sit with her. Go grab a sandie and coke, mate"

"I think she moved her fingers I'm not going anywhere in case she wakes. Be a la' and bring something in here Paulie"

"Ham? Pickles?" Paul offered up suggestions but John ignored "Egg Salad.... You're not listening are you?" Still nothing "Fried toad and toe jam sauce?" Paul sighed in annoyance ".... I give up" Paul went to get something for John to consume.

The chair scrapped a little closer to the bed and John relaxed then tensed his tired bunched muscles to get them working and feeling again.

Louise never said a word and John knew she was never so quiet ever before and it disturbed him tell the truth. She was buzzing and humming, floating and zipping about always, so her lying here so still was foreign, just plain wrong.

"I know you're coming home Lou. I can feel you getting closer. I can feel your determination girl. Come give me a bloody great hiding would ya" John placed his hands over both of hers and dropped his forehead low to the sheets of the bed, he was stuffed tired, the time zones and flights all working against his internal clock and his brain. "Ya gotta come box me ears girl"

"I need me ears boxed badly" John rubbed his eyes and looked upon their hands sadly, then dipped to press a kiss to her wrist, breathed deeply then fell asleep right by her side.

"He can't just nick off for three whole days then decide he has the right to lord over her visiting hours" George scratched his ear and turned about on his heel, watching Paul pay for the sandie and coke. "Give the food to me"

"No" Paul countered tiredly. They were all running on near empty, all waiting about, all wishing she would open her eyes.

"I'll be nice to him" George grimaced "Come on both of you, Richy... let's all go in and see her"

"Do you think the nurse will like that?" Mal watched the three boys start off toward the ward Louise was located on.

George spun around and squared his chin, he was sick of being soft and knew he needed to front up "Stuff the nurse she's my sister and I'll do what I like" George marched off to sit with his sister with his friends.

Pausing in the doorway George let the anger finally fall away, his sister lay there still but the look on the sleeping man's face beside her was what really made him understand a little better how John felt. The utter exhaustion and frown lines of worry marred his face even in sleep, with his hands securing hers he was protector and tragic partner all in one.

Skirting the bed George fell quietly into the opposite chair leaving Paul and Ringo to slide down the wall to the floor underneath the large window.

The day would be long.

Dragging Paul and Richy from the room Brian contemplated hauling George and John away but the leer he was given by both.... well it had him hightailing from the room alone.

"You shouldn't be here" George hissed softly over Lou's still form. He knew he should keep a sock in it but still it hurt that Johns annoyance with Louise was why they both waited here beside her while she convalesced.

"I'll be staying beside Louise til I can beg her forgiveness and kiss her sorry" John mumbled from his position, his head back in the sheets near her waist, he had woken earlier, scuttled out for a fag and wizz, called Mimi, spoke to Eve and then made a beeline back to Lou's side. All while George slept at the foot of Lousies' bed.

*

"You shouldn't be the first thing she sees" George continued on his track of anger over the events after waking to find John squirming in his chair trying to get comfortable.

"Leave it out George. Let's let Lou sort who she sees and doesn't alright" The sleep deprivation was less now and as George mumbled into the blankets, Johns head shot up.

He was wide awake he realised, his eyes strolled her body looking for any sign of movement.

Please do something Louise, a sign, a naughty wiggle of your eyebrow, scowl at me luv, anything.

John shifted his chair angling it closer to the bed, higher now, closer to her face, feeling her breathing faintly was enough for now. He counted her few freckles that dusted her nose and tops of her cheek bones, she hated them covered them up with a smear of foundation but they were cute and signs of happy times at the beaches they had strolled and ran amok on this year. George let out a snore and John heaved a sigh of relief on account of it's meaning.

Hours passed as John spoke whispers of moments they shared, ideas for their future, larks that had occurred in the past. He was unstoppable in his rambling and thought the first word she would mostly likely say was going to be 'shut-up'.

Say it, say 'shut-up John'.

He held her hand and sang the natural accompanying song to her 'And when I touch you/ I feel happy inside/ It's such a feelin...' He choked on the words.

He knew she was there, knew she was coming home, but still it doesn't make you feel any less useless when the patient is so silent in repose ..... 'come on luv just flaming yell at me ....... Oh please say to me/ You'll let me STILL be your man' harnessing all his will power he halted the annoying tears that threatened, none of that girly crap was needed now, was it?

Why can't I cry, will some one laugh? No.

So cry.

John closed his eyes tight, held Lou's hand and felt the heat of the salty tear slide without haste down to his chin, he shook his head and felt the tear let go and noted that the shimmer of liquid had splat on top of their entwined hands. Come on Lou, laugh at me tears.

George turned in his sleep nearly falling from the chair, making himself wake and gaze in muted silence at Johns face. He was confused at first- why is John in my dream, can't I dream of pretty perfect Pattie instead.... then he saw the hospital blanket and all the hazy dreamlike state that surrounded him fell away and his eyes questioned John silently on the state of Louise. She was still out. George stood, stretched and hustled out of the room.

Alone at last baby, you know I could tickle you silly with you defenseless like this John grinned at the thought, his eyes awash, wet with tears but he was sure. Sure, he could make her happy, fix what he had broke this time....

Been a right prick to you I have. His hand reached to touch her nose carefully, another attribute she hated of her face. Granted it wasn't a button nose but it was perfect for her. Character and strong would be fitting for her, she had loads of character, strength, resilience- need that with me, don't you luv. She was cuddly soft when required, strong as all get out when needed, a great mum, wonderful cook, generous lover, adventurous lover.

Sunlight turned the morning light a golden hue as John watched the greyness fall away around them, his arm wrapping her shoulders he was now curled beside her and as she squeezed his fingers he ignored the movement thinking he was dreaming. Lou's toes curled on one foot and she squeezed ever so gently once more.

"Louise"

"Hmmmmm"

"Lou, you're awake"

"You're lying..... my hair"

"You're awake"

"Yes I ...."

"I'll fetch the doctor"

"Mmmmhmmmm" she was drifting in and out but she was more here than where she had been in her dreamland and John couldn't be happier.

Rushing into the hall he looked left and right then spotted George slumped on a bench by the water cooler, John shook him stupid informing him of Louise's movements. George rushed into the room as John hollered for a nurse, doctor, anyone.

She was awake.