John walked in the front door of the flat, two grocery bags and a newspaper load of fish and chips, Lou was singing quietly so he followed her voice. He didn't get far.
The kitchen table was overflowing with miniature bathtub, fluffy towels, an assortment of ointments and oils, clothes, nappies. The smell was a mixture of sweet soap and Johnson and Johnson baby talc. Heavenly.

Lou was leaning over singing nursery rhymes to the little miss wallowing in the warm bath water, John leaned over Louie's shoulder catching Lou by surprise, he smiled at the wet wiggling miss in the tub and got a swift yet fleeting, gummy gorgeous smile back.

"Did you see that!" John grinned at Lou as she poured water deftly over the bubs head "She grinned at me"

"Probably wind"

"NO Louise, she grinned, was definitely a proper grin" Johns face said it all, he was enamoured with the tiny baby. Lou just wished he was a little more enamoured with the baby at three in the morning.

"I picked up dinner and I went to the grocery store, well I didn't Mal did, but I made the list" John stated, proud of his contribution then proceeded to put everything all over the baby's pink towel which was laid out waiting for the wet wiggly little girl.

"John"

He kept unloading.....
eggs, fruit, Weetabix, tins of Heinz baked beans, bottle of full cream-.

"John!"

"What!"

"Put all that there on the side or in the cupboards, I need to get the baby out now and wrap her up" Lou nodded toward the towel and watched and waited for the penny to drop.

"Oh yea, righto. Sorry" He quickly gathered everything and shuffled it on to the countertop by the sink, shoving the milk in the fridge.

Lou held baby securely and lifted her up and out onto the fluffy towel.

"Here, I'll do that, you get some drinks for dinner" John nudged Lou aside and wrapped the wet baby in the towel. Louise looked at him as he smiled down at the bub, slight scepticism written all over her face, John glanced up with a cheeky grin "I know I know, all the nooks and crannies"

Watching on, he surprised her with how he quickly dried the baby properly and rubbed lotion in, John fidgeted with the nappy and held it up for help, Lou folded it slowly beside him as he watched on so he could do it if there was a next time, he then dressed the baby in a white vest then the warm sleep suit and popped her in the bouncer, grinning proudly.

"I'll tell you a secret" John had noticed Lou's reaction to his deft handling of the baby, he picked up the drinks as Lou filled the glasses with Lemonade. Returning the bottle of soda back in the fridge she turned toward the still, proudly grinning John "I watch you two. Every day I'm home, from right over there" Lou's eyebrows knitted together in surprise as John pointed at the lounge chair, he must peep over the top as she goes about bubs bath-time ritual but now John was off on another tangent "Now" He clapped his hands in anticipation to the dinner "Come on, let's hurry up and eat up, she'll be wanting her dinner next!"

John hustled Lou toward the coffee table and tore open the fish and chip paper gleefully, they ate quickly, the chips were moreish, a mix of crisp and soft ones and all salt laced, some with a drop of vinegar. John jumped back up hurrying to the kitchen then brought back some buttered pieces of bread and they gobbled up two chip butties a piece.

Louise, while dropping half her batter fish messily on the table, tossed her wedge of lemon over to John knowing he loved the juice. Which was quite ironic in fact that when she saw him some days, it was indeed like he was sucking on a lemon .... She looked over at the baby, John was spot on knowing it was only a matter of time before bub needed another feed.

They helped each other sort the kitchen table and the dinner mess, watching the little one nuzzling for a feed, not crying but getting close to ready. Lou pondered how she was ever in this position, John moving around almost houseproud, well he was a messy lad but he tried especially hard tonight, and she mother, nurturer of an infant. In under a year Lou's life was upside down, inside out.

She sat on the couch with bub, settling into a nice comfortable position, grabbing a pillow to help hold her arm so not to ache, then as bub attached to her breast she groaned, mumbling to herself for being a ninny. John looked up from the notepad he had in front of him at the kitchen table, his guitar sat against the chair beside him, he watched Louise's' movements to undo all the settling in she had done. "Stop Lou, what's the prob?"

"I forgot the wrap I use...you know to cover up"

"Well it's just us and I'm up here, can't really see you over the couch. It'll be ok, just go ahead without it" John thought about her feelings, breastfeeding was taboo in public which was just plain pathetic, it was just feeding a child. Then he realised... he was one of the people that would be the first to shove a wicked way-hey-hey out of his mouth if he saw a nipple or piece of cleavage whether or not it was just nourishing the baby.

"Are you sure, I don't want to embarrass you or me for that matter"

"Lou feed the bub. If I turn into a leering loon I give you full access to kicking me in the nuts for it, ok"

"ok but I have rights to kick you twice if you touch"

"If I touched I don't think I would have a chance of being alive after you finished with me Louise"

Lou giggled as she started feeding the baby, John watched her head bobbing to a song she sang so softly.... so soft he could hear bits and pieces of the pitch but not the words, and couldn't recognise it as any nursery rhyme he knew "What's that your singing, a nursery rhyme?"

"You can hear that!?" Lou was amazed, it was hardly more than a hum and he had heard. "It's Love Me Do by some fab new gear band making new waves in England, heard of them?" Louise grinned, craning her neck back, over and round to see Johns face, it was no good, he was right behind her position, at the kitchen table.

"Oh, that pack of mop-heads yeah, they say they won't last, guitar bands are going out of style you know" John repeated a common line that was bandied around when Brian was offering them up to all the recording companies before eventually getting the group signed by a EMI Parlophone with Mister Martin.

Louise laughed and bubs hands flew about from the sudden noise out of her mother "They are a nice bunch though or so I've heard... there's the blue-eyed thinker and listener, the eat half a cow hungry one, the pretty peacock one" Lou giggled and waited a moment for full effect "and the 'egotistical maniac with a weird sense of humour but has a heart of gold and pretty handy at washing babies' one"

"Wow that last one sounds amazingly wonderful. Should I try to get you an introduction to meet him or perhaps you fancy him.. seeing how you gave him the longest moniker of all the mop-heads" John had completely forgotten his notebook and stood laughing to join Lou and continue the light-hearted banter, he knelt behind the couch and stuck his chin on the back beside her shoulder.

Lou, mid changeover held the baby dangling amid the swapping of breasts, she froze, everything was viewable and she had no way of covering up, he was right here. "Ah John...."

"Yesss"

"Be a good mophead and go fetch that cover up" She said it so simply he didn't even register why she had the baby dangling about the place, then he saw, eyes darted down, then up to the baby's face and then further north up to the ceiling, he left the room commenting on the intricately patterned cornice around the room.

"Sorry" John grimaced as he settled beside her on the couch baby hidden behind a light weave shawl, Louie peeked in to position the nipple in bubs mouth then looked at him, dark brown eyes assessed him, she decided he had meant nought by it and grinned shyly.

"It's alright, you forgot- no harm, but I should still kick you" Lou smiled sweetly at him "so that you learn your lesson for next time"

"Be one up, just in case, you mean"

"Yeah, exactly" Lou leaned her head on his shoulder and they sat quietly "Thanks for the dinner better than a sandie any day"

"Yep better than cornflakes for tea too" John nudged her softly making her smack him, they had indeed had cornflakes two nights ago for dinner. "Can I look" John nodded toward the now concealed infant, he was intrigued by the baby's feeding only "Just to see her feed not me being perverted or nothing"

Lou peeked in and adjusted the maternity bra over her other breast, she knew he had been awed in the delivery room those few weeks ago, she carefully lifted the weave away. At first she looked skyward, she couldn't look at John looking at her.

She felt the usually pull of baby and felt the little hand move and lay over her heart. This tiny hand, gently touching, got her every single time, the beat of Lousie going through those tiny featherdown fingers all the way to the little en's pulse and aligning. Lou looked down at the top of John's head, he had moved ever so close and now another breath felt warm along her flesh.

John felt Lou's fingers before he saw them; at first, he thought she would push but then it was altogether the other way. She moved him...his head now leant in the crook of her neck under her chin, he still saw his baby but now they were all joined together a little parcel of one, a unit to protect and care for.

Whether intentional or not they clicked, whether for the deal, them as boy and girl or the situation they had found themselves in, they relied on each other without realising.

She relied on him for protection, maybe it wasn't from a thug in the street but it was from the uncertainty with being alone, pregnant now baby and without support and he relied on her for the strength she gave without seemingly offering it, she was resilient and tough enough to put up with all his shit and bad habits, she gave familiarity and sense of home.

John lay for a long time, gazing at her fingers blindly but lovingly stroking the baby's hair, drawing an invisible line along the eyebrows down the nose along the tiny soft cheek again and again.

She lulled the baby, and him peaceful, serene. Bub was asleep now and the little mouth slowly had released Lou's nipple, it wasn't just a sex toy anymore it was an amazing source of food for a tiny human. Although he had thoughts, he checked them at the door tonight and enjoyed the little bit of family closeness he always secretly craved.