She slept so long the boys all landed on the bed to wake her. Always a happy occasion when they could be kids again, this day was well overdue. Evie bounced from one lad to the other as Louise threw pillows about wanting more time to recover from the trip, from the horrid night before.

She wasn't getting it.

Red rimmed eyes and slept deprived she groaned but ended up laughing at their antics. Lou smiled, as she reclined on her side, as the troop flopped down and surrounded her.

John at the top lying against the headboard kissing her head.

Paul at her feet so she kicked him every so often.

Rings staring those baby blues into hers with such force she lost her breath.

And George, sitting by her back, holding Evie as the little girl bashed fists like a drummer on her mothers side.

This was a closed session -Brian Jimmy Mal and Neil out in the living room. The Beatles, Eve and Lou behind closed doors, recording moments to remember. This would be another hit.

"Up you get mummy" Rich grinned as Evie began crawling over Lou for her morning cuddles, lots of babbling and the occasional word thrown in making grown men turn to mush and Lou to turn a little and kiss her daughter silly. "I'm up -you're up Lou!"

"Can't I have a few more minutes .... A half hour tops" Lou flopped back beside Ringo, grumbling.

"Nope you won't sleep a wink tonight pet. Jet lag you see. You need to sort your internal clock Louie" Paul started off hitting her feet as she kicked then thought better of it, giving tickling a try on.

"He's right luv. I've sorted Evie breakfast. So just you now. Easy day today too -stay in, stare holes in each other, walk on a stage at 5.30, try and stay in tune for twenty minutes then come back and stare holes in each other again, then fly to where is it?.... Sydney" John took Evie off Lou's face, as sitting on mum wasn't the best spot to sit.

"Got to give Jim a bit of a send-off too don't forget" George pushed Louise into Richy, making Lou and Richie a little too comfortable.

" 'ello gorgeous" Richy growled lovingly, his deep voice was always a slayer.

"Helloooo Rich. You're right happy to see me I feel" Louise grinned and wiggled her eyebrows as John dragged her back off Richard.

Richy smirked and bobbled his head happily then grimaced with an afterthought "Don't you go getting me in trouble with the 'boss' on the first day in town luv!" As he grumbled he was doing some inverted commas in the air for 'the boss' then whispered an aside in her ear for all to hear "Wait at least until I'm the only drummer in the 'ouse"

"Oh, ok, right you are" Louise squirmed as John held her from sinking back under the covers for more sleep.

"Right you lot go- order Lou breakfast and shut the door on the way out. Here George take me munchkin will ya" John shoo'd the boys out and finally he had her awake and alone. Stood at the end of the bed the brown bedspread slowly drifted to the floor by his feet as Louise moved about to collect pillows and reposition herself to lean against the bedhead. He pointed to a spot to her right "May I?...."

"You don't have to ask to come back to bed John" Lou closed her eyes as the mattress sank beside her, his weight neared and he laid his head on her belly, arms wrapping her tight, her fingers on autopilot sweeping through his hair. "I must look a fright" She blew in her hand "Ugh morning breath, poor, poor Richard"

John sniggered under her hand.

"Stop your sniggering and kiss my tummy"

"Yes mam" John pressed his lips under her shirt he had gathered higher to touch her, stubble slightly itching her tender skin both on her stomach and close by on her hip, he pressed lightly almost timidly. John grinned, she was putty when his lips kissed her here like this.

She missed him so much. Missed what it felt like, what his kisses did and how her insides gathered into a strangling beautiful mess of pleasure and pain.

Missed him so much it almost let her go and let him plunder. Missed him so much she almost let him steal her breath away and almost let him think it was all fine between them.

His hand skimmed her hip, travelling slowly down her leg and she locked her thighs together.

She was stuck.

If she denied he was gone.

If she complied he was gone as well....

If she complied he would just think 'well she'll forgive me every time. Off to the tarts I go'.

"We need to talk" Louise rolled her eyes when he stroked her lower, under the sheet pooled at her waist. "John please"

"We can talk and do stuff like this" His fingers shifted her hips, swivelling her forward a little and a hand pressed against her knee and pushed a little.

"Not now John. Pleaseee. Let me be mad at you for twenty-four hours at least... So, I don't feel like the world's biggest loser" Louise wrapped her fingers in his hair and tugged but it was more 'fuck me please' than 'get off me please'.

His lips insistent and never leaving her skin, she burned for him, fire flared in her belly.

"John please stop" His fingers inched closer to her and she needed, wanted it as much, if not more than him, but no, wait. God, stop and give me a chance to.... I don't know...
A chance to affirm my place in this uneven affair.

"BREAKFAST!!!!!" George hammered the door and Louise had never loved her brother so much as at that very moment. John punched the mattress and sat up dejectedly, a scowl on his lips, for both George and Lou. "Put your pants on BEFORE you open the door!" George hammered the door again in warning.

"What!!??!" John unlocked the door and glared at George with his arms full of Louise's favourite treats.

"What do you think, you clod. It's the food YOU told us to order for Louise. Here" George slammed it into Johns chest and marched off throwing over his shoulder..."Get it yourself next time, and wear pants you prat!"

Louise waited for John's face to terrorise her when he turned about.

The anger, the dirty look, the sneering scowl but it wasn't there. Somehow in those few seconds George had interrupted him, John had figured he was an idiot  and instead of anger, a look of pleading sadness overcame his features.

He stepped back to the bed and suddenly everything was different.

She wanted to scream in anger herself now. He made her crazy, he did. The changes, swift and fast, and almost left her speechless in how rapid-fire the change of direction he took.

"Come on let's get you fed, beautiful" Gorgeous John sat carefully and fluffed the pillows higher and loveable John opened the napkin for her, wonderful John stirred sugar in her tea and nearly forgiven John smeared butter on her slice of toast "Marmy or jam?"

"Marmy please" She whispered as she watched what had become the love of her life tend to her breakfast, smearing the marmalade on the toast.

"Sorry Louise"

"I like it thick"

"Not the butter luv, me, the biggest prat in Australia, maybe even the world today" Johns caramel voice sounded worried, he'd pushed himself onto her before and, had it not been Georges interrupting, he probably would have taken more than she wanted him to take, much more.

When he wanted sex he usually got it. Too bad if she was tired, upset, distracted by worries. John took and sometimes she would stare moodily at the ceiling while he enjoyed his little thrill.

Mostly he ignored those times, thinking she would come round in the end. Sometimes, of course, she did. Sometimes, those times she lay staring at the ceiling, he would be angry and hurtful, hurt even.

This was his right wasn't it. He was the husband and she the wife, and she should say yes... no matter the issues or tiredness or tension. He was a prick. The revelation hit him between the eyes, and as she nibbled the toast, he kicked himself. And as she sipped her tea, he silently begged forgiveness. He was lucky she was even putting up with him, she even let him sleep beside her last night and he hadn't lost any appendages.

But she thinks she's weak when she lets me.

She's not weak, she's love and so, so strong for putting up with even a tenth of my shit.

"I love you Louise"

"I love you too Winnie" Louise had watched the emotions tackling him.

Firstly, anger or was it indignation, then thoughtful surmise. After that his lips straightened like he was pulling all the moments together in a line and running a critical eye over them all. Then revelation. Then, it seemed, him seeing the light  ebbed the frown away. The sad frown that had been pulling at his forehead.

He was always an internal thinker, overthinking on occasion, getting himself into trouble with the silly decisions he made. But today Louise saw clarity in him and hoped, no prayed, that he could pull them back, sew the torn pieces back together.

She let a breath go that she hadn't even realised she held.

And just like that, a leaf turned over, she stroked his jaw and he leaned in to kiss the dimple by her lips.

Louise wanted him still and he would try his hardest to live up to her desires.

"I'll be so much better... you'll think another man has taken up residence in me" John took the breakfast tray and sat it on the floor by the bed. Snuggling again, carefully listening to her heartbeat he lay his head on her chest.

"Just be you John. Just be a better you. I don't want anyone else but you living in you" As he held her hand Lou's relieved smile was her's alone.. as she smiled down upon his head.

So close to happiness she was right now she could feel the shift in her emotions. She could almost feel his promises sinking into him, awakening him.

Was she just a fool.