"Ok Louie that's it, they've gone 'ome- talk or walk" He prodded her with terse words and she woke up that it was just the two of them.

She fell to the ground the weight pushing her to the dirt to the roots of the trees, lower even perhaps she would plummet through the middle earth all the way to China.

John frowned down at her then joined Lou on the chilly sparsely grassed hill, drawing his leather jacket tight then realising they were both cold he shuffled to hug her gingerly as she blankly watched the lights.

It was innocent, for warmth and she accepted it leaning tiredly on his shoulder.

"I don't want you having this weight, John" Louie always called a spade a spade and now she was a conundrum of shady words hovering around the edge of meanings. "You have enough on your plate without this, without all my issues" She shrugged and sighed at the pain that tugged her heart, he could be trusted she knew it, he knew it.

But still she held back battling to tell someone, tell John or hold it all in and carry on ignoring the pain, ignoring the belly til it bubbled big in front of her.

"I want to help... you have to have someone Lou. I'm your someone, always have been, haven't I. Whenever we have had a prickly prob its been us" John nudged her carefully to illicit some response. It was true even though they had only really known each other a matter of years they seemed to be on the same wave length, and the instinctive trust ran deep.

"I don't know where to start, what part to lay on you to not have you racing to the nearest pub and clocking some random drunk" she grinned sadly, it was the first hint of a proper smile he'd seen in weeks. Her grin stemming from her knowing John's pennant for hitting first and asking questions later. The grin fled and was replaced with a tired frown, dropping her gaze she started ripping at bits of grass under her hand and tossing it away.

"Just talk, I'm not clocking anyone... yet" He grinned a tentative smirk back, the lights from the city casting zebra lines across his skin "I wouldn't leave you here alone" John squeezed her shoulder gently. He was a hard-nosed teddy boy growing into a man right before her eyes, they all were, even, she conceded grudgingly, George.

"You can't utter one single word" She looked at him, the first time she had met his eyes in weeks, not since he touched her locket had he even felt her gaze so strong. He nodded and smiled encouragingly.

"I. umm. That time you saw me" She watched him light a smoke not looking at her.

"In your room?" The smoke he exhaled curled upwards, spiraling until it scattered into darkness.

"Yea, my clothes" She caught the sob in her throat it sounded tangled and garbled so she let it slip proper, the first proper sob in forever. "My.... my sheets"

"Someone raped you didn't they" He said it so plainly but he seethed inside at the infraction on her, on his friend, on George's sister, all the bands friend. He sat balling his fist tightly beside him out of her view, as the other hand again gave a gently squeeze to her shoulder.

He watched more than felt her shudder. This wasn't the end.

"Four" She sobbed into his shoulder "Oh god, John there was four of them- men I couldn't, I couldn't make them stop I had to..." Her body fell into his lap and he had a hard time understanding the words as she rattled through them on her way through the rush of emotions recalling. "I lay there like death, just thinking of the party, that stupid Friday night party. I tried to fight but they, they were too much. All I could do was retreat into my head, so my mind would make it through the night, to make it to the other side"

Her coughing and loud sobs raked her until she sobered a little, wondering if he would look upon her differently, like a dirty piece of filth. She dared and looked up as he grasped her chin tenderly keeping her steady, holding her course but his body shook slightly with tension and anger.

Taking a deep breath and attempting to lift her chin John looked into her dark glassy eyes and wiped her tear stains gently "You're safe now no more hurt, I'm here. I'll find them and murder them though" He wrapped her back up against his side, held her close to let her know he had her back.

In his head he was horrified though, four cunt's taking an innocent slip of a girl, his girl, their girl and mutilating her body, invading her, he tried to shake the image, his mind instantly created, away and his eyes darkened like a dangerous thunderstorm. Anger bubbled within.

John hugged her again, a pair of arms holding her hoping they gave her strength, four arse-holes what the hell, he thought. All this time the Harrison's and band not knowing anything, they were all bloody lucky she was even alive after that sort of terror.

"I'm not safe John, I'll be sent away now"

"What are you talking about? No one knows do they? No one has to know" John brushed her hair off her face and just hugged her to him creating a safe place for her to recover.

"That's the funny thing when a third of a dozen men r-" She choked on the words, having to cough a sob and gasp to continue "r, rape you, you may just fall pregnant" The tears crashed back over her as she tried to comprehend the situation, saying it aloud making it real, so real "I ......a ........ I'm pregnant John, I'll be banished. I'll be sent off somewhere far, to a home for unwed mothers alone, I don't want to be alone"

She stood abruptly and screamed into the night, primal, primitive taking her lungs to the extreme filling them again and letting another rip through the sound barrier around them.

"That feels better" She smiled through tears down at John as he wondered at her terrifying yet cleansing outburst. She bloody smiled, he thought "Probably should have done that, that night .. yeah, scare them away?" He rose quickly and circled her in his warmth, close, tight against him. She was very good at covering feelings when she wanted. The switch on and off now proclaiming the fact.

She escaped and moved forward toward the edge of the hill, alone.

He couldn't not go to her, he couldn't leave her be, not with all this swirling around her. He walked close behind her and put a hand on Lou's shoulder, his chin on the other and one hand round her waist, snaking over her tummy and rubbed once, twice for good measure "A baby, a sweet bub, Lou. It will have your smile I bet" He stopped, he shouldn't talk like she was automatically keeping the child.

"Keep going" she liked hearing the sweet things he said.... About something she seemed to see only tarnished with dirt.

"And your eyes, definitely your pretty eyes Lou and, and .... your bitchy stubbornness"

You can stop now, Winnie!" She laughed a little, less upset thanks to John's few words.

She felt far lighter, lighter than she had been in weeks and all because he listened.All because John listened.

"Thank-you for listening John, maybe I can try to move forward to wherever I'm pushed now, a little easier" She turned in his arms and kissed his cheek then hugged him drawing greedily on his strength for the days and months to come.

All was quiet as they both stood, two statues on the cusp of the city's limits and adulthood, darkness and stripes of lights flickering all around them.

***********

"When do you think you will tell your Ma and da? Perhaps I can be there, support ya, you know" John kissed her hair, he really did like this girl, she's a great mate, she doesn't deserve all this crap.

She stood at the letterbox and looked at the dark building, her home, her everything "Maybe Sunday, Ma and Da can't commit murder when their just home from church now, can they"

"Sunday, ok- I'll duck round after dinnertime, ok" John pushed the gate open, a hand on her back pushing her gently through. He was happy she was a little better. Her sobs now silent.. tears more or less dry, her breathing returned to calm from the gasps and upset of her unhappy revelations.

"You don't have to John.." Closing the gate between them Louise held on tightly, not sure if she needed him from here or not. He had been so nice, she couldn't ask any more of him surely.

"I want to Louise" John lit a smoke and Lou watched the tiny red hot end frizzle as he dragged the nicotine, hypnotised by the light. "Go in now Lou, I'll see you Sunday... off you go" John watched her step slowly away, waiting for the front door to open "..night Louie"

"Night John.." she wandered through the red door, shutting it silently. Tip toeing, creeping like a nun up the stairs to fall into her bed, exhausted and drained.