Harry deposited Louise on the front steps of the regal Adelphi Hotel. Lou watched the tail lights fade into the fog that slowly descended over the city. Thankfully Harry kept 'mum' on the happenings of the wedding reception and didn't ask questions nor inquire into Johns silent treatment of her half the night.

The Adelphi on Ranelagh Street was posh, so posh they kept on knocking it down and making it grander- Twice! It was torn down and another emerged from the rubble.

This building today was beautiful. Understated in that old worldly charm. Constructed in pale grey, almost white, Portland stone. Limestone born from the Tithonian stage of the Jurassic period, quarried on the Isle of Portland, Dorset, miles and miles away. Well then, she mused, I did retain something from history class. The seven storey's soared over her; Round-headed arch windows on the first level, the rest a rather boring rectangle in compare; although the fourth flowing into the fifth sat a stately central balcony with lovely columns either side, setting it off prettierly.

Adelphi was advertised as the "most luxurious hotel outside London". Lou chewed her lip, why was she even here, much too expensive for just sleep.... World leaders, Franklin D. Roosevelt, Winnie Churchill have slept here and artistes, in town to appear at the Empire Theatre, used the Adelphi as their home away from home. Lou surely would be in the company of not only John but an abundance of spirits, and not just the stuff that was settled on Johns breathe.

Frank Sinatra, Laurel and Hardy, Judy Garland, Roy Rogers and his pretty horse Trigger set up camp within these walls. Well, Trigger didn't actually stay in the Hotel, he was boarded at stables down on Smithdown Lane, although the famous horse did make an appearance at the main entrance, rwhere she now hovered like a lost waif.

Columns, marble, and coffered arches. Pink marble pilasters, glazed screens, and French doors opening into fancy restaurants on it's sides. Lou stepped through the entrance of the deserted foyer and absentmindedly wondered if Jules Verne's novel description of the interior of the submarine really was similar to the Adelphi Hotel. Her and Professor Aronnax both eyeing the same... although his was fiction in Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea and hers, now uncomfortably, real.

John was inebriated at the dais.

Tiddly as they ate cake.

And by the time the music and dancing began he was full on plastered... and very, very vocal. He wasn't violent which could just as well have been the case, just his own caustic self turned up to the Nth degree.

Crying he was, into his specially purchased scotch to Paul, saying it was 'all over now'.... he would have 'no life' with a wife, grumbles emitted about having to 'miss out' on partying and the like.

Lou wouldn't, or even, couldn't contemplate, stopping John doing any of that nonsense and she had told him just as much. She had bloody put it in the deal they had signed for heavens sake!

Nonetheless the wedding gave him reason to moan and groan and oft he would turn her way and give her the evil eye over the rim of his tumbler, as he tossed another dram back.

Perhaps the earlier 'show' was his way to get thoroughly intoxicated to cope with the show now about to start... The now of course being her walking into their shared hotel room.

Lou and Paul had hatched a plan to get him out of the reception by means of John's stomach being a bit icky and that he needed 'a dose of paracetamol' and 'a good lay down'.

How many guests fell for the line Lou didn't know, but what else could they do in the circumstance.

........ Taking the stairs, trepidation took over her steps.

She stood at the door of the third-floor room for many silent minutes, searching herself for strength to push it open, walk through, and face her husband.

Her Husband.

My Husband....

Lou looked at her fingers, the ring on her hand, and wondered what was going to come, how they would navigate the times ahead, how she would stay invisible, a ghost in John's life.

Brian had made it crystal clear when he took Lou out to lunch at the Restaurant in Main Street last Thursday.

John was to be seen as single.

His career demanded he look available and Lou was to be invisible. She didn't mind, of course she didn't want to step on John's career or have him have to drag her around, she knew all this but hearing it from Brian made it feel all that more awful. Stepping out of the restaurant afterwards into a heavy downpour of Liverpool rain just reflected the dampened mood of her own beautifully.

She turned the doorknob deciding as she did so to start over, not think about what he had said earlier at the wedding, just reset it all, try again, be pleasant, forgive.

He sat on the bed leaning back on the timber headboard leaden eyes following her tentative movements about the room, he felt much better and made a note to thank Paulie for his intervention once again.

The bouquet had made it to room 301.

Dot was the one that had caught it in the traditional 'throw the bouquet' but left it behind after her falling out with Paul... Lou didn't want to discard the beautiful blooms so brought them with her.

She placed them on the dark timber dresser that sat opposite the bed, touching the lavender and white gently, fingers trailing through the bows and ribbons.

She was stalling and fidgeting something terrible and he hated that she felt that way.

He especially liked the flowers that were splashed about in her hair. They were like bright dazzling tiny stars and he wanted them to stay there for the entire night. He should tell her that.... But he remained mute, eyes heavy and ever watching.

Opening the suitcase as she knelt on the floor she found her small separate linen bag of night things and let the lid fall, he really should speak but he hadn't been in this situation before- married.

They were married, he felt his mind might explode. What had he done.....

"John...... John" Lou brought him back from the flowers in her hair and realised that she had asked a question.

Questioning eyes sought his as he refocused on her face.

"What" The word was more terse than he meant "Sorry Lou .... ummm I was off thinking 'bout a tune" There that should cover me, he thought "What can I help with" John leaned forward as she sat, back to him, on the edge of the bed.

Lifting her hair up off her neck, letting him view her shoulders and slope of her smooth skin she spoke quietly, carefully, unsure how he would react "My top has a lot of buttons, Ma did em up but... well she's not here is she"

Turning she gifted him a rueful smile. He crawled forward and laid a hand on her shoulder to steady himself, then started to fiddle with the material covered ball shaped buttons.

"Just half, I can pull it over my head then I should think" Louie uttered as his warm fingers ever so softly squeezed her skin.

"They are bloody tiny things, shit, there's like a hundred" John ran a finger down the side of the buttons making Lou stretch up and away with ticklish sensations aplenty. "Half you say?"

Lou nodded and glanced over her shoulder they caught each other's eye and she thought she he was blushing. She faced forward and giggled quietly.

"What are you laffing about, missy"

"You blushed"Lou smiled to herself. Yes he is much, much better. Not ridiculously happy but not sad either.. just John, being John.

"No, I didn't"

"Did too" Louise turned again to watch his studious face as he struggled with the fabric buttons. His fingers grazed her skin where the buttons had opened away to flesh. Goose bumps made their way up from her insides out.

"Now you are" He laughed. He then thought it a lark to run a finger downward, all the way from the side of her cheek, down her neck, trace the ridge along her shoulder and finally... swirl two digits down the buttons' track. She wriggled around trying to escape, the blush brightened and escaped up her throat to her cheeks "You looked lovely when you walked down the aisle..."

"Only the aisle?" Louie retorted cheekily as she grinned in the dresser mirror at him. Watching him as he watched her face closely, and the emotions that scooted across it.

"All day- aisle, reception, cake cutting, dancing.... Here" A kiss fell on her neck and he looked back up in the mirror for her reaction. A deer caught in headlights had less fear. He tried again, lingering by her neck, she smelt glorious, of vanilla and sugary sweets. "...Why do you smell like sweets?"

"George thought it a lark to throw them at me as I left, some went down my back... and front" Lou gorked down her cleavage then caught John looking over her shoulder, having a gander too "What are you doing?"

"Looking for sweets. I'm hungry" His grin was swift and teasing as he started back to work on the buttons, stealing kisses along her skin....
While in Rome, he thought.

"No, the kisses John, I thought...." She stood holding her top tightly clutched to her upper body, turning, he sat up properly right in front of her "The deal. I . You. We. This. Arghhhhh I don't know! What this is?"

"Do you like the kisses?"

She bit her lip.

If she told the truth where would it lead, when would it stop?

If she lied like she seemed to have become adept, he would see right through her white lie anyway. She went to run an shaky hand through her hair and caught a bunch of flowers, they fluttered onto the bed, John picked them up.

He scared her and saved her all in the same moment. She wanted to flee, run forever, but also could comfortably just sit too and just, be.

She wanted to thank him for saving her and the baby somehow...... but like this ....between sheets... would it even mean anything.

Calm yet terrified and staggered at her inner turmoil, she frowned... then told the truth.

"Yes"

"Well let's kiss"

"Then?"

"Then...." John had a look of anguish. He would fuck a drunk lass in a heartbeat after a gig or before......... But Louie, here with her top almost adrift, she was off limits, out of bounds, a deal done and signed off on.

"I can't do anything" Louie grimaced, the do bit was a big part and parcel of kissing and time spent in horizontal positions, she looked at the bed, where was she to sleep anyway?

"Do?" John grinned saucily making her huff, and grin back. This was so silly, they were married for goodness sake, they could do anything if they both wanted to.

"John!" She sat back on the bed and he lifted her hair up and away, to find the buttons again. "My mind can't escape, I. I... was raped. I can't., I just am..."

"Scared, terrified"

"Dirty and tainted" Lou whispered sadly.

"No Lou, no you would never be that." John patted her shoulder "Go on, go get changed for bed and I'll get my jimmy-jams on out here... Let's get some kip, ok?" John stood and held her elbow, propelling her forward to the attached ensuite "Have a bath if you want. Look, lots of soaps and shit set out there on the bench top"

"And shit?"

"And pretty smelling lady stuff then"

"There, that wasn't hard to say was it" Lou grinned as she tucked herself behind the door.

"Look at us, you're already nagging, this married thing is a pinch of p-"

"John!" Lou giggled as she warned him for almost swearing then shut the door quietly, leaning against it, smiling that John Lennon was being so sweet. She could never tell the lads of this Lennon, he would give her a paddling.

John put a hand on the door frame to recover and clear his senses, then forced himself to move and put his striped pyjama pants and obligatory clean t-shirt on.

Switching the main overhead light off, flipping the small bedside reading lamp on John turned down the covers and went to hop in then thought better of it and sat down on the high-backed kitchen chair, that was sat by the table. He would wait for Louise...

"John..." Louise shook John a little, he had fallen asleep sitting ramrod straight in the horrid kitchen chair by the small table in the corner. It looked so hard and unforgiving "Bed time"

"How long were you in there!?" John rubbed his eyes and blinked tiredly up at her... Then opened his eyes a little wider.

"Not as long as you're thinking, cheeky lad, you" Louie stood with one arm wrapped around her waist, the other over her cleavage. She was looking very uncomfortable with herself. John woke fully then, to her situation, her nightclothes were grasped tightly to herself as best she could.

The nightie she wore was a gift that Dot must have secretly slipped into Lou's bag, replacing the rather drab normal nightie Louise had chosen for the night.

This creation was made for lovers and Lou blushed rose in the bathroom mirror at how much skin it revealed.

Lou thought she might borrow Johns dress shirt he wore at the wedding but then frowned pondering the cigarette smoke plus the smell of the beer and scotch the garment would reek of.

"Where's your shirt? I should wear that" Lou questioned as John looked her up and down, twice. He was about to check the flimsy material a third time when her question interrupted his eyeballing.

"What? Instead of that, no flipping way Louise" John hissed quietly through gritted teeth at the getup. He was thinking extremely wicked thoughts about Louise for the very first time.

He watched her grimace as she gazed down at the sheer covering and he made to settle his loins a tad by thinking of her recent nightmares. He needed to calm himself and maybe they could reach a semi satisfying compromise "Just. I won't do anything Louise, just keep it on ...." He continued on lamely "We could cuddle"

He sounded like a soft wanker in that moment and Louie saw right through him, daringly, she dropped her arms to her side. He gulped.

"Kiss and cuddle I swear Maybelline" John raised his hand in a scouts honour fashion.

"That's it?" She raised an eyebrow. "You're not even a boy Scout either!"

Suddenly the entire deal felt like a huge concrete weight around his neck.

They both decided, and countersigned, not to do anything.

Paul notarising the bloody shit out of each and every place they signed, with glee.... John thought back to the smirking grin his mate had placed on his face as he autographed John's life away.

Did he sign that section, did I?

Was there a clause, a loop hole?

"Yup"

If he exploded from containment he would go to heaven having laid his last night next to the only girl in the world that was 'just a friend' slash 'un-real' wife.

****

The bed was not firm.

As he crawled in from his side trying not to peek too openly, and as she sat then swung her legs gingerly on hers, the sides of the mattress sat up and they found themselves both in the dip in the middle. They were rolled together, a hammock would have given much more room.

She let him spoon her. Having never been in a position to spoon with a male before she thought it was likely the safest way to let him touch her, to lay so close next to her.... Her back was safe alternative, wasn't it?

Louise Harrison wiggled around to get comfortable, then stopped.

I'm Louise Lennon now, LL.

She wiggled again only to stop suddenly, that was Johns hand, wasn't it?!?

John tried to keep out of her reach but all the fucking jiggling had her movements centring directly over his nether regions which sat waiting at attention like a soldier saluting a drill sergeant. She jiffled again making him wince and draw a sharp gasp from the sheer hell of being so close yet so far.... Only then must she have realised... She inched forward, out of his space.

Louise yawned and said "Goodnight Johnny" and was out like a light.

He crawled off to sleep in the bath, after relieving the ache in the shower of course.

*****

"Fuckin 'ell" He'd tried to stretch but his feet hit the cold metal of the bath tap. Scrambling from the cold tub he opened the door to the room.

The faint orange- pink light of cloudless dawn slipped through the drab curtains.

The covers of the bed were low and he needed to shower all over again. Her get up was even better in the morning light.

Sheer, flimsy, barely there, her tummy was showing and he had a vision of a baby bump. She was flat as a tack now but soon.... Fuck he signed up to be the baby's father.

He left her then, careful to leave her to her sleep, to find the dining room to grab them breakfast. He began wandering around looking at all the tourist pamphlets and notices after the waiter had taken the order.

Breakfast was placed beside him minutes later. The tray loaded with condiments, tea and toast.

"Congratulations by the way sir" The waiter remarked, letting a preoccupied John know he, and the food, had arrived.

"Oh what? oh yea thanks" John fiddled with the teapot, lifting the lid, checking it was full all for reasons unknown. No, he knew, he was buying time. Time to not return to her and that blasted negligee.

"Nice wedding? I bet the bride looked lovely"

"Yes thank-you, she was as stunning as ever" John smiled freely. He didn't have to lie about that, she looked like an angel throughout. "Well better deliver breaky for my.... Arr..bride, have a good 'en"

His mood darkened as he climbed the stairs, he was married- what the hell, and pregnant.

What an arse to think he could do this- be a husband, be a dad.

He made plans for the day as he climbed ever higher and he would enact them.

He wasn't about to sit around the morning here in a tiny room and stare out the window at the street as Lou drilled holes in his back with her dark eyes. He had to be on his way later anyway so it didn't matter whether it was now or in a few hours he left, did it, well not to him.

He dumped the tray on the table with a clatter, she was still asleep and still almost fucking naked. It was too much all this. A female in a bed, his bed and not touching her, not getting a shag. Cause that was what you did wasn't it. Boy- girl and bed equalled sex, sex, sex.

Shit he'd had his fill in Hamburg, he knew the score, well his score was bloody massive wasn't it and now here- her- scoreless. He didn't want to score either ... it was Louise and she was preggers. But still.... female. And she had smelt nice and the little flowers pressed in her hair....

Shit shit shit.....

They ate silently, she was carefully watching him as his mood fell but she didn't dare joke to attempt to stop the downward descent which was likely all her doing.

Feeling like crying she sucked it up, what would tear's or emotion do anyway.

"I've got to go see Bri about this London thing" John might as well have grunted, she nodded as he stood. Picking up his bag he had stood packed by the door "I'll see you in a week or so, alright?"

"Yes, fine, hope the recording goes well ...umm and the gigs" She looked up at him with big glassy eyes, smiling encouragingly but her heart was carefully unravelling around her and she truly didn't know why.

John went to leave, indecisively standing in the threshold holding the door half open, half closed. He had paused trying to utter something, anything to her. Sorry her sadness was his doing, sorry him being a stormy mass of a bad mood as they silently ate the breakfast.

"Fuck it" He darted back into the room, skirting the little table and kissed her. Everything that shouldn't be shown, showing- tenderness even a little of that want snuck through.

Then he was gone.