This is a resource list for Roma and allies.
We are considered "the most hated people in Europe," and are often forgotten in the United States. We need your help.

The Romani

A lot of times, when we think of an ethnic group we tend to associate it with a nationality. The Finnish live in Finland. Somalis live in Somalia. Romani live in...the world. The Romani people, historically called Gitanos, Kale, Manush, or (pejoratively) Gypsies, are a major ethnic group. There are an estimated 12 million Romani people, but rather than being confined within specific political borders, the Romani are stateless people, or an ethnic group that does not exclusively identify with any country. This has made them subject to a fair amount of persecution over the years. But just because they're not associated with any specific country, don't make the mistake of thinking that they're without a home. Their home is simply wherever they are, and that seems to work just fine for the Romani.

History of the Romani

As a nearly nomadic society, Romani have popped up throughout the historical record for centuries. However, since the Romani have been frequently marginalized and ignored as outsiders, this record is sporadic at best. Genetic and linguistic evidence strongly suggests that the Romani ethnic group developed in northwestern India, near the modern-day state of Punjab. Either voluntarily or as slaves, the Romani seem to have left India around 500 CE and migrated into Central Asia and the Middle East. Genetic evidence suggests that nearly half of their population did not survive the migration. From the Middle East, the Romani slowly made their way north and west, reaching Bulgaria around 1100 CE and from there spreading across Europe.

As the Romani entered Europe, they maintained a cultural preference for wandering and frequent relocation maintained by Romani networks that stretched across the continent. Many of their customs were not indigenous to Europe, their language was not European, and they moved around a lot, all of which resulted in the Romani developing a reputation of being outsiders. They became highly marginalized, excluded from mainstream cultures and governments. During times of stress, many European communities openly blamed the Romani, accusing them of various acts of malicious magic throughout the centuries. Even into the post-industrial world, the Romani are often viewed with prejudice or suspicion and blamed for bringing poverty or crime into areas. Nevertheless, many Romani have had major impacts on European cultures over the centuries, both genetically and culturally. Traditions like flamenco music in Spain, or street performance in France and Italy trace their roots back to Romani populations.

Distribution Today

So, where are the Romani today? The majority live in Southern and Eastern Europe, stretching roughly from Spain and France across the Mediterranean and into the Balkans. One of the largest and most concentrated populations live in the nation of Romania. However, being a highly-mobile culture means that Romani can realistically be found throughout the world. There are an estimated 1 million Romani in the United States, and Brazil also hosts a large population.

Romani Culture

Romani culture varies by location, but everywhere is characterized by a mixture of traditional Romani customs and practices of the people around whom the Romani live. For example, it is believed that the Romani originally practiced the Hindu religion, but modern populations in Europe are generally Catholic while those in the Middle East as Muslims. In both cases, religious practices are infused with traditional Romani rituals and beliefs that bear many similarities to Hindu practices in northwestern India. The Romani have adopted Catholicism so widely that they even have their own patron saint, the Blessed Ceferino Giménez Malla, a Spanish Romani activist who was killed during the Spanish Civil War in the 1930s.

The last image is actually the most striking, however, because it depicts a Romani woman undergoing a DNA test.
Some of the countries in which the Nazis invaded had "Gypsy control" policies in place since the 1920s. In Austria and Germany, in particular, the governments had actually compiled "registration" cards for all of the Romani people living in their respective territories.
In 1935, the Nazis implemented a Eugenics research program, which had the purpose of proving that Romani people were an "inferior race". This resulted in Nazi scientists traveling within Nazi occupied Europe and documenting the local Romani communities. The Nazis kept impeccable records, so much so, that historians have been able to reconstruct how big pre-war Romani communities were, and where they were located.
The Nazis also implemented something akin to the "one drop rule". If they determined that just one of your eight grandparents was Romani, then you were Romani and you were targeted for the "Final Solution". They documented all of this.
In the 1940s, it became illegal for any Romani person living in Nazi occupied Europe to travel.
So, by the time the "Final Solution" was implemented in 1941, the whereabouts of Romani people who had not already been interned or deported were well known. The Nazis had documented where Romani communities were, how many people lived there, and who qualified as a "Gypsy half-breed" according to their standards.
In the summer of 1941, the Nazis began systematically murdering Romani people through a series of mass shootings carried out by the SS. In 1942, the "Gypsy camp" at Auschwitz was "liquidated".
While some Romani people certainly escaped and survived, many were not so fortunate.
90%-95% of Roma and Sinti in the Protectorate of Bohemia and Moravia were killed.
583 of them survived, only about 100 of whom were Bohemian Roma.
80% of the Roma, Sinti, and Lovari that had lived in Austria were killed.
600-700 of them survived.
Nearly 22,000 of the original 23,000 Romani persons sent to Auschwitz died in Auschwitz.
2,897 Romani persons were killed in Auschwitz in a single day in 1944.
3,500 Romani men, women, and children were subjected to Nazi medical experiments.
Nearly all 25,000 Romani people living in Croatia were murdered.
15,000-20,000 of them were deported to and later died in Jasenovac.
About 10% of the Serbian Roma population died in Jasenovac, alone.
Nazis likely killed at least one third of all Serbian Roma by their own estimates.
In 1930, there were 242,656 Roma living in Romania. By 1948, there 53,425.
At least 25,000 Roma in Transnistria were documented to have been starved to death by the Nazis
At least 28,000 Hungarian Roma died.
At least 30% of Hungarian Roma were interned for forced labor.
It is estimated that some 3,000 Hungarian Roma survived the Holocaust.
Anywhere from 6,000 to 30,000 Romani people are believed to have been interned in Vichy France, although very few died.
It is estimated that the pre-war population of Romani people in Europe was around one million. Conservative estimates claim the Nazis killed approximately 500,000 Romani people.
Liberal estimates maintain that at least 800,000 Romani people died during the Holocaust.
That means somewhere between 50% and 80% of European Romani people died during the Holocaust
That gives you an idea of just how utterly devastating the Holocaust was to Romani people in Europe.
It would have been impossible for Romani people to have fled Nazi occupied Europe. Even Romani people who fled to places like France were interned, and some were deported to Dachau where they died.
In fact, one of the well documented migrations of Romani people occurred after the war ended during which many European Romani families moved to the United States, Britain, and even to the British Mandate of Palestine.
Please stop rewriting Romani history to make your "Gypsy" ancestry story seem more unique and legitimate.
It's infuriating, and it's disrespectful. Most importantly, though, it is wrong.

more pictures : rrojasandribbons.tumblr.com

other resources: romaninet.com
worldrroma.org
dl.dropboxusercontent.com
mega.nz/romani

Religious & mythological terms in [Vlax] Romani:
Since we're on the topic of Romani spirituality, I thought it might be a good time to share some religious terms.
Romanipe | Roman'ja | n | the ethno-cultural belief system of Romani people that is rooted in Hindu spiritual traditions
patja'mos | n | religion; belief
De'l | n | god; the supreme omnipresent and transcendental power within Romanipe
De'likano | adj | sacred
De'lorro | n | little god; a deity that is considered to be both an extension of De'l and De'l itself within the human world
Sunto | n | saint; alternative and Christianized term for De'lorro
Sara Kali | n | a Romani De'lorri
Sunti Bibija | n | a Romani De'lorri
Sunti'ana | n | a Romani De'lorri
O Adzhilo Sunto | n | a Romani De'lorro
Sunto Petre | n | a Romani De'lorro
Vart'pipja | n | a Romani De'lorro
Beng | n | any manner of evil entities, things, or beings

kintari | n | the concept of spiritual and cultural balance
mahrime | adj | impure; a state of being impure or unclean
vudzho | adj | pure; a state of being pure or clean
'odji | n | soul
Bolimos | n | baptism; a ritual bath performed under running water that welcomes an infant into the human world
kirvi | n | godmother
kirvo | n | godfather
mangajipe | n | engagement; betrothal; the act of coming together as husband and wife
abijav | n | wedding; the celebration of a couple's mangajipe
dikhlo | n | head covering; the traditional scarf of a married Romani woman
proxajipe | n | funeral; the act of burying or cremating the deceased
pomana | n | funeral celebration; the ritualistic feast and celebration in honor of the deceased
mulo | n | ghost; spirit of the deceased
kheresko mulo | n | house ghost; a spirit that resides within a house
pajesko bivudzho | n | an evil entity or spirit that resides in water
veshesko bivudzho | n | an evil entity or spirit that resides in a forest
karonkochi | n | a small evil spirit or entity that resides in a bush
manush jagalo | n | man of fire; a spirit or entity that is capable of switching an infant with an evil entity
parrudle | n | children that have been switched with an evil entity; similar to chengelings
choxaji | choxanji | n | an often malevolent spirit that can cause harm, illness, or even death
mart'ja | n | a type of choxaji that causes death during the night
bozorkinja | n | a type of choxaji that can shape-shift
indzhibaba | n | a type of choxaji that often takes the form of a woman
mam'jorro | n | a type of choxaji that causes illness
vursutarja | n | a set of three spirits that can influence the fate of a newborn child
loli dori | n | a red thread or string that is tied around a newborn's wrist or ankle and thought to protect the newborn
jakhalo | n | evil eye
solax | n | an idiomatic saying or ritualistic oath that is meant to prove a statement to be true
prikaza | n | an omen, forewarning, or sign of misfortune
slava | n | a ritual celebration; a celebration that typically honors one of the Romani De'lorre
posto | n | fast; the act of fasting
momeli | n | candle
khangeri | n | place of worship
klopoto | n | bell; any bell used in a place of worship; can sometimes refer to a cow bell

Words for People in Romanes
Rrom - Romani man
Rromni - Romani woman
Rroma - Romani people

chej - Romani girl
chavo - Romani boy
chave | chavorre - Romani children

gadzho - non-Romani man
gadzhi - non-Romani woman
gadzhe - non-Romani people

raklo - non-Romani boy
rakli - non-Romani girl
raklorre - non-Romani children

Biboldo - Jewish man [lit. not baptized]
Biboldi - Jewish woman
Bibold'ja | manushja Biboldenge - Jewish people
Bibolde Rroma - Romani Jews
Parnalo - White man
Parnali - White woman
Parnale | manushja Parne - White people

'Arapo - Arab or North African man
'Arapi - Arab or North African woman
'Arap'ja | manushja 'Arabicke - Arab or North African people
Kalo | Kalorro - Black or African man
Kali | Kalorri - Black or African woman
manushja Kalorre - Black or African people
manushja Afrikanicke - specifically African people
Am'rikano - American man
Am'rikani - American woman
manushja Am'rikanicke - American people

Latino - Latin American man
Latini - Latin American woman
manushja Latinicke - Latin American people
Ind'jano - Native American or First Nations man
Ind'jani - Native American or First Nations woman
Ind'janija | manushja Ind'janicke - Native American or First Nations people
Azi'ano - Asian man
Azi'ani - Asian woman
Azijan'ja | manushja Azianicke - Asian people
Das - White Christian man
Dasni - White Christian woman
Dasne - White Christian people

Boldo | Trushulalo - Christian man
Boldi | Trushulali - Christian woman
Bolde | Trushulale - Christians [lit. baptized | "cross people"]
Xoraxaj - Turkish or Muslim man
Xoraxni - Turkish or Muslim woman
Xoraxaja - Turks or Muslims [sometimes refers to Tatars]
Xoraxane Rroma - Romani Muslims
Indjo - South Asian man
Indji - South Asian woman
manushja Indjicke - South Asian people
Slavicko - Slavic man
Slavicki - Slavic woman
Slavick'ja - Slavs
Rruso - Russian man
Rrusojka - Russian woman
Rruso'ja - Russians
Ungro - Hungarian man
Ungrojka - Hungarian woman
manushja Ungro'icke - Hungarian people
Njampco - German man
Njampcojka - German woman
Njampcija - Germans
Sinto - Sinti man
Sintojka | Sinticka - Sinti woman
Sinte - Sinti people
Lovari - Lovari man
Lovarica | Lovarkina - Lovari woman
Lovara - Lovari people

Kalderari | Kalderash - Kalderash man
Kalderarica | Kalderashica - Kalderash woman
Kalderasha - Kalderash people

Bojash - non-Romanes speaking man
Bojashi - non-Romanes speaking woman
Bojasha - non-Romanes speaking Roma
Vlaxo - Romanian man or Vlax Romani man
Vlaxicki - Romanian woman or Vlax Romani woman
Vlax'ja - Romanians or Vlax Roma
Rumunco - Romanian man
Rumunicka - Romanian woman
Rumuncija - Romanians
Polsko - Polish Romani man
Polskincka - Polish Romani woman
Polska Rroma - Polish Roma

Xitano - Spanish Romani man
Xitana - Spanish Romani woman
Xitan'ja - Spanish Roma
[Note: this is specific to my dialect, so some words might be different in other dialects. It's also not a complete list, and I'll probably add more as I think of them]

In a Time of Turmoil, a Path to Roma Self-Determination

It has been 46 years since the first World Romani Congress called for Roma self-determination and international unity. Despite significant progress, we live now in a time of unprecedented crises that hit our communities on all sides. Today, on International Roma Day, we Roma need to ask ourselves: in the ever-changing European context, how can we effectively continue our fight to better the lives of our communities?
Growing insecurity, violence, and uncertainty deepen the exclusion of Roma in Europe. The economic and migration crises, radicalized political landscape, spread of terrorist attacks, and rising xenophobic nationalism have fueled fear and the destabilization of democratic institutions. A significant part of the European electorate now supports parties that seek to limit democracy, and that reject equality and social cohesion.
In this climate, the anti-Roma politics of the last decade is now accompanied by declining support for Roma in the agendas of the EU and national governments. The success of recent policy gains, such as the EU Roma Framework and Roma Integration 2020, depends on the will of national governments and public servants to implement them effectively—a will that is often lacking. As a consequence, the impact on our communities remains limited in scope, scale, and sustainability.
Moreover, there are no effective mechanisms for the more than 12 million Roma voices to be heard. The EU and national public institutions do not represent our interests. Significant numbers of our people who do vote are influenced by fear, violence, and politically motivated evictions, or manipulated through widespread vote-buying practices or outright fraud.
Existing mechanisms, including the platform of Roma civil society representatives inside of the EU Roma Framework, have proven ineffective as the input of Roma civil society is not taken into account by policymakers. As a consequence, decisions that affect us are made illegitimately.
Some of the responsibility lies with us Roma. In our public and political engagement, we have yet to maximize collective sources of legitimacy and power. This limits our political and policy impact: researchers question whether we are evidence-based, policymakers question whether our aims are feasible, and politicians question whether we are politically legitimate.
What can we do to change this?
Connect to the wisdom and creative power of our ancestors and their self-determination.
We must remember how we became who we are today, how we learned and sustained our language and traditions. It is because Roma leaders sacrificed and shaped opportunities for us, making sure that we developed and matured. Now we must commit to supporting those who follow in our footsteps, to demonstrating loyalty, to working together more effectively, to preserving our uniqueness and aspiring for more.
Sustain the moral and political foundations of our leadership.
We should work towards inclusive and democratic institutions, policies, and practices. Although often left without many options, we cannot let ourselves become infected with hatred. This is not always easy due to the paradox of social cohesion in Europe, which is becoming increasingly multicultural while remaining monocultural in its concentrated wealth and power. However, no matter how difficult the situation has been, we have demonstrated that change is always possible. If we build on our long tradition of resistance, it can make a real difference.
Break the sense of fear and intimidation that has been imposed upon us.
Given current threats to the survival of institutions such as the European Union and Central European University, this can only be done if we resist the politics of fear and anger, and refuse to be intimidated by those who believe us to be less worthy or capable. We have to confront the lies. Some of us may be ostracized, marginalized, pushed back, and pushed down—but this has been our experience for centuries. If we exercise moral militancy, together with humility and wisdom, it can fuel the courage needed to expand the domain of freedom and justice for our people.
Strengthen our organizational resilience and effectiveness.
We have to model excellence in good governance, leadership, and management. At the same time, we must exercise more effective policy engagement strategies: raising politically organized voices in public campaigns, leveraging support for pro-Roma advocacy, building partnerships with decision makers, and becoming more rooted in the communities to which we are accountable. We should also take advantage of the emergence of a new generation of Roma advocates across Europe to build support for a shared set of goals and bridge misunderstandings between younger and older Roma activists.
Exercise collective self-governance for long-term impact in our communities.
The new context requires an adaptive response. This is only possible if we work across networks, coalitions, and strategic alliances in service of our higher aspirations. The only way to make substantial progress is to increase our collective ability to leverage differences and look for fundamentally different approaches to strategic collaboration.
We, Roma, have a double challenge: we must strengthen our resilience in the face of hostility and thrive in closing societies. Only by looking back at what we achieved and by connecting with others across countries will we find the inspiration to keep up the fight.

Romani Tropes 101: A Comprehensive Guide to Writing a Romani Character
Although I strongly discourage non-Roma from writing Romani characters that involve any sort cultural or linguistic association, I am in no way opposed to authors writing characters that happen to be Roma.. as long as said authors don't rely on tropes and stereotypes.
We will start with some obvious and common ones:
Magic | Mysticism
This one is pretty obvious. Romani people have long been stereotyped as having some sort of magical or mystical abilities. In reality, though, we are just ordinary people. What's important to remember, however, is that this stereotype has played a pretty big role in the oppression we've faced, which stems from a fear-mongering campaign led largely by the Catholic Church.
How does this impact writing Romani characters: if you are considering a Romani character that has some sort of magical ability you need to ask yourself some questions before continuing writing.
1. Is magic or mysticism necessary to the plot?
2. Is your Romani character the only one with magical abilities?
3. Is magic or mysticism used to augment the "Gypsy-ness" of your character?
4. Are you treating magical or mystical abilities as cultural or ethnic phenomenon?
If you answered yes to anything other than the first question, you need to stop and reevaluate your character. If your writing involves anything listed in numbers 2-4 then you are relying on stereotypes and perhaps you should not include a Romani character at all.
Fortune-Telling | Palmistry | Tarot Cards
Yes, many Roma do these things, but they are also common in many other cultures. This is a really common stereotype. If you're not Roma then I would avoid any having your Romani character perform any sort of fortune-telling. We're not going to go through any evaluation questions for this topic because it pretty obviously relies heavily racist stereotypes.
Maybe you want to touch on those stereotypes in your writing, though. That's a good idea! So, using the topic of fortune-telling is okay when you're doing it in a way to combat stereotypes.
For example, your Romani character could be asked to do some form of fortune-telling and respond with some history or an explanation as to why it's a stereotype. There are ways to actually combat stereotypes about Roma by using the stereotype itself. Just be super careful to not demean or accidentally reinforce the stereotype.
Belly-dancing
This is a big misconception about Romani people! We don't belly-dance in the traditional sense. We have a type of dance that uses similar hip motions, and some Roma in the Balkans and Turkey do perform belly-dance. However, belly-dancing comes from MENA [Middle Eastern / North African] cultures and is not actually Romani. It also plays into the hyper-sexualization of Romani women, but we will touch on that next.
How does that impact Romani characters: if your Romani character belly-dances, you're undoubtedly using stereotypes. Here are some questions to help you evaluate your character..
1. What is the context of the belly-dancing? Where is it occurring?
2. Where is your Romani character from? Is it a region that has any history of belly-dance?
3. Is belly-dancing part of your character's profession?
4. Are you using belly-dance as a cultural or ethnic attribution?
If your Romani character is belly-dancing at the wedding of a Turkish friend, then we might let that slide. If your Romani character is the paid performer of belly-dance at a Turkish wedding, then we're turning into a trope. If your character is a French Manouche, then they're not going to belly-dance at all. If you answered yes to number 3 or 4, then you might want to reconsider your character.
Like we talked about, belly-dancing really only occurs in a very small portion of the Romani population. It is a regional phenomenon due to cultural exchange. So, a young Macedonian Romani woman belly-dancing with some other young women from MENA cultures is very probable, but a young Macedonian Romani woman being a paid performer at a wedding gets us into the sexualizition trope. Furthermore, a young Polish Romani woman belly-dancing in any context is going to be unlikely, and that character probably relies heavily on stereotypes. See how context can be very important?
Hyper-sexualization | Sexuality | The "Gypsy" Seductress
It is pretty apparent that this stereotype is more damaging than the ones we've already discussed. This one has, and continues to have very real impacts on Romani women, globally. Sexuality is not only a touchy subject within Romani culture, itself, but exploring sexuality in the frame of a Romani character can lead to many devastating stereotypes being perpetuated.
So, what is okay in terms of a Romani character's sexuality?
Well, certainly any Romani characters who are LGBTQ+! They severely lack representation. If you happen to have a Romani character who falls into the LGBTQ spectrum, that's actually a good thing. The only evaluation question you might want to consider is this: is my character both Romani & LGBTQ for the sake of diversity, or do both their Romani-ness and sexuality bring something valuable to the plot?
What might you want to avoid regarding a Romani character's sexuality?
This is tough for me to say, but.. gender identities. So, if you're not Roma, I really would not delve into this much. If you're writing a Romani character that is culturally disconnected and you want to somehow incorporate anything about their gender identity, or if you happen to have a minor character you passingly mention as being Romani and briefly touch upon their gender identity in some way.. that might be okay. However, trying to frame discussions about gender identities in a Romani cultural context is going to get you into some trouble because these topics can be quite taboo within our own communities. I would leave these topics to ethnic Romani authors. Actually, I would go even further to say let LGBTQ+ Roma have their own voices heard regarding this!
What would you want to completely avoid?
Well, anything that overly sexualizes Romani women or girls; that's a given. If you're not Roma, here are some topics and situations you may want to completely avoid altogether:
1. Roma in sex-work
2. Romani women who have multiple partners
3. Romani women or girls dating older men
4. Romani women or girls who are described in a provocative manner
5. Any narrative that would insinuate or outwardly refer to a Romani woman or girl as a "whore", "slut", "prostitute"; or any language used to attribute promiscuity to your character
You might be thinking, "but these topics need to be discussed!", and you're right. However, these topics and narratives need to be written by Romani women. Please, let female Romani authors have a voice regarding these culturally sensitive issues.
Criminality | Scam artists | Thievery | Kidnapping
This is another pretty obvious stereotype, especially if you've done any research at all for your Romani character. We're not even going to do any in-depth explanations about this topic because if your Romani character is a criminal, scam artist, thief, con, kidnapper, or the like, then I'm going to politely suggest you stop, don't reevaluate, and don't write a Romani character at all.
So, what we've discussed would be what I consider the "big 5″ stereotypes, but there are plenty of less-pervasive, yet equally damaging tropes that are pretty easy to use. Let's take a look at those!
Literacy | Education
If you follow any Romani rights issues, you would know that equal access to education is a huge challenge for many Roma. Even as we speak, school segregation is still very common in Europe, which leaves many Romani youth being utterly failed by their community's or nation's educational system. Having a Romani character who is illiterate, or poorly educated is perpetuating the myth that we don't want education. Discussing barriers to education in your character's home country is fine, but letting them fall into the stereotype of it is not.
Homophobia
By itself, this topic is very important in literature. Homophobia should be actively challenged by authors and should never be normalized. In a Romani context, though, this should truly be left to Romani authors because the notion that Roma are rampantly homophobic is a stereotype. Of course it exists in our communities, but remember, it exists in all communities. Having homophobia be an attribute of your Romani character or their Romani family is a trope.
Submissive | Free-Spirited | Coming of Age
This is especially important for female Romani characters, and young Romani characters. Non-Roma often view Romani women as either entirely free-spirited hippie-esque characters, or as completely socially restricted by a patriarchal society. Neither of these are entirely true. Just like anyone else, Romani parents want the very best for their children. Looking at the relative freedom very young Roma have within their own communities versus the cultural responsibilities that develop in adolescence for many Roma in an unbiased manner is tough. So, it's going to be even tougher to write about that dichotomy in an objective way. This makes it difficult to write a main character that is Romani, and this is why ethnic Roma often suggest not to write your main character as Romani unless you are actively working with someone who is ethnically Roma.
Superstitions
Every culture that has ever existed has superstitions. Don't walk under a ladder. Breaking a mirror is bad luck. Knock on wood. We often view our own culture's superstitions with nostalgia and respect even though we realize they are simply.. superstitions. This is no different when viewed in a Romani context. Roma have superstitions, too, but our superstitious beliefs are often treated as silly, or infantile. Having an overly superstitious Romani character is a stereotype.

Fear of Animals | Cruelty towards Animals
You are probably not even aware that these are stereotypes, but they are. We are often assumed to fear dogs, and to mistreat pets or performance animals. The notion that "Gypsies" fear dogs actually comes from two places: (1) dogs have been frequently used as a means to attack and frighten us, and (2) some Romani communities equate having pets in the home to lack of cleanliness. The myth that all Roma are cruel to animals somewhat comes from our history as performance artists. So, dancing bears were a thing in parts of Europe until we realized that this might be a bit unethical, and because Romani performance arts in these regions often involved dancing bears, we were labeled as unethical, too. Are dancing bears unethical? Absolutely! Is your Romani character mistreating a bear, or horse, or dog a stereotype? You bet it is!
Communally, we love animals. Aside from the inherent few people in any culture who may mistreat animals, Romani people tend to have a great deal of respect for other living things. We actually have several proverbs referring to the proper treatment of animals, especially those used for meat. Truly, the idea that animals used for work or meat must be treated humanely is pretty inherent in the culture(s) of most Romani communities. Horses are venerated in many Romani communities, as well. Playing into the notion that we somehow detest and mistreat animals is not only a stereotype, but also a myth.
Circuses | Performance Art | Music
It is a well known fact that many Roma have made a career out of the performance arts. More often than not, that career involves playing music or singing. However, Roma can hold a number of professions. We are doctors, nurses, construction workers, teachers, taxi drivers, farmers, writers, etc.. So, let's do some evaluation questions regarding your Romani character's profession:
1. Is your character a circus performer?
2. Is your character's musical or singing ability necessary for the plot?
3. Does your character come from a region or community where music is, or was historically the main profession?
4. Is your character's musical ability augmenting their Romani-ness?
If you answered yes to number 1 or 4; stop and scrap your character. Start over, or reconsider writing a Romani character altogether because 1 and 4 are stereotypes. If you answered yes to 2 or 3; make sure you do proper research to ensure you are not perpetuating stereotypes. Make sure that if they are playing Romani music, that it is appropriate for the time period and region, but remember, your Romani character can be a musician without having to play Romani music.
Phenotypes | Skin Tones
Romani people are diverse. We don't all have black hair, dark skin, and green eyes. If your character's phenotype looks something like Esmeralda, you might want to reconsider. Before we delve a bit deeper, this is where Romani blogs can be very helpful: many Romani bloggers have posted about the diversity of Romani people, and more often than not they include pictures. Also, we've made posts pointing out pictures that tend to be mislabeled as "Romani" or "Gypsy". These are great resources for making sure any physical descriptions are realistic and not relying on stereotypes.
So, are blonde-haired and blue-eyed Roma very common? No, not really, but they do exist. Romani people can range from very dark to very light in complexion, regardless of their ancestry or where they live. Roma most often have brown to olive skin, black to medium brown hair, and brown eyes. Grey and dichromatic eyes are more common than green eyes among Roma. We can have freckles, or be red-heads. We can have curly hair, or straight hair.
Your "average" Romani character is going to have medium-brown skin, wavy hair that's black to dark brown, and brown eyes, but that's about as "average" as we can go with a Romani phenotype. When getting into physical descriptions of your Romani character, try to avoid that "average" look. We're probably not going to have a cute button nose, but not all Roma have a hooked, wide-bridged nose, which is kind of a stereotype. Romani people tend to have two common phenotype for our eyes: (1) large, round eyes or (2) narrow eyes with a parallel eyelid crease. However, these phenotypes can vary depending on your character's ancestry. Here are some evaluation questions to help you determine how to describe your character:
1. Where is your character from? Turkey? Poland? England?
2. Is your character mixed? If so, with what other ethnicity or race?
3. Is your character's appearance based off of another character? If so, which one?
4. Is your character based off of an actual person? If so, who, and why did you chose them?
Number one is incredibly important because while Romani people have diverse phenotypes regardless of where we are from, certain phenotypes are definitely more common in some regions. Look into what Roma from that particular region look like. If you're writing a Romani character from Turkey, Greece, or the Southern Balkans, they are far less likely to have a fair complexion. If your character is from Lithuania, England, Sweden, or France, they could either be very light or quite dark in complexion.
When evaluating your answer for number 2, remember that mixed does not have to mean mixed with White. So, if your character is European Roma, they could be mixed with any Black African ethnicity, Jewish, South Asian, or Arab. Afro-Romani and Jewish-Romani communities exist! If you are Black and/or Jewish, you can write a mixed Romani character that draws from some of your own personal experiences. Again, context is important here; a European Romani character who lives in Poland in the 1920s, but is also ½ Native American.. that's highly improbable. If your character sounds a bit like that, then you really want to reevaluate that character. If your character is mixed Romani & White, remember to be sensitive regarding how this blended family came about.
If questions 3 or 4 apply to your character, you want to make sure that whomever you based your character off of is also not a stereotype. If your answers sound something like Esmeralda, or "Gypsy" Rose Lee, then your character likely embodies a whole bunch of stereotypes. If you answered Katitzi, or Monika Miczura, then you're on the right path.
Colorism
Colorism is a global phenomenon that functions in conjunction with racism. It is the notion that the shade of one's skin defines their worth or beauty. Roma are subjected to colorism, too. When describing your Romani character, avoid things like comparing their skin tone to food. Also, avoid ethnically charged words like "swarthy". Never ever refer to dark skin as "dirty", or liken it to dirt, or mud.
I would not recommend dealing with the topic of colorism in Romani communities if you are not Romani, yourself, or if you don't plan on working directly with someone who is Romani while writing. Yes, young Romani women do use lightening creams in places like the Balkans, Turkey, and Greece. Yes, some Romani communities do view being too light in a negative manner. It is a complex topic and the issues regarding colorism in Romani communities can be pretty dynamic.
"Gypsy" Skirts | Peasant Tops | Head Scarves
If you are writing a period-specific character, then you want your character to be accurate. In this instance, research is incredibly important, but make sure the depictions you are viewing are of actual Romani people and not caricatures. White people have a long history of dressing up as "Gypsies", and some of these historical images might pop up during your research.
Also, be very mindful of how you describe clothing. Don't default to "dikhlo" for a headscarf, and avoid terms like "peasant top". A good example of describing Romani clothing might go something like this:
"the skirt she wore gently brushed her ankles"
"the flowers on her skirt were vibrant and beautiful"
"she wore a scarf with the ends tucked behind her ears"
"his shirt was loose and torn, but had the most beautiful embroidery"
What's going to also come into play when describing a Romani character's clothing is how it's kept. Repeatedly referring to the clothing a Romani character wears as torn or tattered is going to imply to the reader that they are poor, which is a stereotype. Insinuating that clothing is not clean is also relying on the trope that Roma are inherently dirty.
Remember, Roma wear blue jeans, leggings, button down shirts, and sun dresses. Just because your character is Romani does not mean you need to dress them like a stereotype!
Dirty "Gypsies"
We just touched on this a bit, though briefly. The "dirty Gypsy" stereotype is not only steeped in myth, but also incredibly damaging. The idea that we are unclean, or smell bad, is sometimes used as reasoning for keeping us segregated in schools and housing.
In reality, many Roma follow very strict cultural traditions regarding cleanliness. While I would not recommend that non-Roma use these traditions as a means to augment their character's Romani-ness, it is important to remember that insinuating Roma are "dirty" is a very harmful stereotype.
If your Romani character is has a mental or physical disability and you want to include a narrative in which they struggle cleaning their room, or keeping on top of certain chores, that's not really a Romani stereotype that we're discussing anymore [it can lend itself to ableism, though]. However, if your character can't keep things clean and it's somehow implied to be a cultural or ethnic attribute in any sense, then we're probably going beyond stereotypes and delving into flat out racism. Context, context, context!
Begging | Poverty
Yes, some Roma beg. Some of us are so desperately poor that we have no choice but to rely on begging in order to feed ourselves or our family. However, not all Roma live in abject poverty. If you want to touch on the oppression and racism that leads to poverty, I'm all for it, but be mindful that it can be very easy to rely on tropes when talking about Romani poverty. Let's do some evaluation questions for this topic:
1. Why is your Romani character begging?
2. Is your Romani character poor, or did they come from a poor family?
3. Does this poverty have a relevant back story?
4. is the poverty of your Romani character or their family somehow relevant to the plot?

If you had to consider an answer for number 1.. Stop writing. Abort mission. Your Romani character should never be a beggar! That is relying heavily on a racist stereotype, whether or not it actually does occur.
Questions 2-4 are important, though, If your character just happens to be poor and Romani with no relevance to a back story or overall plot, then you're using stereotypes. If the father of your Romani character lost his dry cleaning business in the recession and now he or she is poor and struggling though college while working two jobs, well, that's pretty important to the plot and not necessarily a stereotype. I'm not sure that I've said it enough, but.. context!

[CW] Child Abuse | Spousal Abuse
This is a sensitive topic no matter which ethnicity or culture we are discussing. However, it is also a very racist stereotype that has been used by various governments to strip away our parental rights. If you are not Romani, under no circumstance should a Romani character be an abuser.
I would also be extremely careful writing any Romani characters who are abuse victims even if the perpetrating character is non-Roma. Culture plays a huge role in how abuse victims cope with and overcome their traumas, especially for women.
[CW] Substance Abuse
Similar to what we just discussed, substance abuse also plays into stereotypes. Even though alcoholism is pretty prevalent within many Romani communities, I would completely discourage any non-Roma from writing a Romani character who struggles with substance abuse. The topic is culturally sensitive, and plays into some pretty racist notions, especially about Eastern European Roma

Okay, so we've talked some tough topics and learned a bunch about stereotypes that impact Romani people. By now, you've probably done some research and reading, so let's get to writing, or possibly re-writing our Romani character!
Here are some general guidelines to follow:
1. Avoid stereotypes, especially the ones listed above
2. Avoid culturally sensitive topics unless you are working with someone who is Roma
3. Be mindful of how you describe your character's appearance, including their clothing.
4. It's better to ask questions than to write something that's racist
5. Remember that context is incredibly important
Here are some questions you might want to ask yourself before you begin writing:
1. What are my motivations for making my character Romani?
If you are writing a character simply for the sake of adding diversity, you may want to reevaluate the ethnicity of that character. Token diversity, or diversity that is poorly researched is not adequate representation.
2. Is a Romani character essential or relevant to the plot?
Similar to question number 1; if your character's Romani-ness is completely irrelevant to the plot, it can seem as though you are just tokenizing an ethnicity for the sake of diversity. If you do this, you are more likely to rely on stereotypes to define that character's ethnicity.
3. Do I feel confident that the research I've done is accurate and unbiased?
If you have routinely questioned the accuracy of what you've read then maybe pause your writing endeavors until you feel more comfortable with your research. Don't assume that everything you read about Romani people is accurate because 90% of the time it's not. Also, don't assume that everything your read written by ethnic Roma is accurate! Sometimes we lack knowledge and perpetuate biases, too. Try to verify your research in at least 3 credible sources.
4. Are the characteristics of my character probable and feasible?
Remember when we talked about feasibility with mixed race Roma, or phenotypes.. consider that discussion, here. This is also the time to consider if you're writing a character into a mystical setting or alternate universe because that can be inherently problematic [see the first of my "big 5″ stereotypes].
5. Do I feel confident that I can write this character without incorporating any personal bias?
We all have biases; it's human nature to categorize and stereotype. It's wrong on a moral and ethical level, but it's true. If you feel as though some of those biases may work themselves into your writing, then I would reconsider writing a Romani character altogether. If you're unsure whether something is biased or a stereotype, don't be afraid to seek out resources and ask questions.

Before we get to writing that Romani character, we need to go over one more thing: appropriation!
Believe it or not, appropriation is very common among authors who write Romani characters.
What exactly is appropriation?
In writing, appropriation generally takes two forms: cultural and linguistic.
Cultural appropriation is the lifting of elements from a culture for use outside of their original cultural context.
Cultural appropriation in writing Romani characters is when an author ascribes a tradition to a character outside of its cultural context. For example, if you were to have a Romani character performing a ritual reserved for a funeral during a birthday celebration. Another instance is when an author ascribes a tradition to a character that actually belongs to another culture or sub-culture. One example of this might be a Polish Romani character performing Flamenco. Another example would be French Roma using the nazar. These sintances usually result from improper research. Here's some info on traditions that are commonly labeled as Romani, but are not.
Linguistic appropriation is the lifting of any elements of a language outside of the language itself, or outside of the culture to which the language belongs.
This is extremely common among authors writing Romani characters! So, checking out posts for accurate use of words like Roma, Romani, Romany, Sinti, etc.. is important. However, when we start throwing in words like "gadzhe", "vardo" or "mahrime" is when we get into linguistic appropriation. Those are words that are unique to the Romani language and are heavily influenced by Romani culture.
Here are some guidelines regarding linguistic appropriation:
1. If you cannot comfortably speak or write in a Romani dialect, don't include Romani words
2. If you don't plan on studying the Romani language in order to use Romani words properly, don't use Romani words
3. If your character is speaking to non-Roma, they would not be using Romani words
4. If you are using Romani words to make your character seem more "authentic", you are engaging in appropriation
5. If you would not feel comfortable using Romani words in conversation with ethnic Roma, you probably shouldn't be using them in your writing
"But, Romani characters speak Romani!" That's right! But, your story is in English, or French, or some language that is not Romani. There is a translation for every word you wish to use. What's also incredibly important, here, is that when non-Romani authors use Romani words in stories, they usually use them incorrectly.
Most online Romani "dictionaries" you see will contain inaccurate information and will not be specific to a particular dialect.
That means that your Kalderash character will end up misusing some mix of Greek Romani and Kaalo.. and no one wants that!
Phew! Now, we've really got some tough topics out of the way. You've done your research, written your character, and you're wondering if your story is culturally sensitive. Before we publish and share our hard work, let's ask ourselves just a few more questions to make sure we've written a good Romani character:
1. Is my character free from stereotypes and biases?
2. Do I feel confident that I've avoided any instances that might be construed as racist?
3. Would I feel comfortable sharing my work with ethnic Roma?
If you answered no to any of these, you might want to reevaluate your character or reconsider writing a Romani character.
For any additional information regarding stereotypes, appropriation, or accurate sources feel free to ask!

Cultural Appropriation and the Gypsy Industry

Time and time again, Romani people are the targets of cultural appropriation, with various levels of offenders to tackle. On Etsy, Ebay, and Pinterest combined, one can find over 498,000 objects tagged "Gypsy" which includes items such as dangly jewelry, hippy/Boho skirts, colorful bedsheets, and even pet supplies with tags such as " Vintage gypsy", "Bohemian gypsy ", and "Gypsy Junk" while fashion designers label their companies and collections using comparable terms and are relentless in their use of racially stereotypical themes.There are also appropriators of our music and dance, who name their bands and dance troops using various forms of the term "Gypsy" with not one Romani person to be found among them, such as Toronto, Canada's "Travelling Gypsy Market" or the Vancouver B.C. based "gypsy performance troupe, Roma Gry" (Gypsy horse). Groups like these escalate their appropriation by not only claiming to be Rom, but are also hired, open to taking educational funds and teaching the public their version of Romani history and culture. Through examining the Romani characters in popular culture, it becomes apparent that discrimination lives on against Roma people. In the United States, this takes the form of dehumanization or even denial. Gypsies are not regarded as real people but as storybook creatures and magical inventions.

In Europe, discrimination borders on apartheid conditions, with signs that say "No Gypsies Allowed" in the windows, extremely segregated schools, and repatriation policies such as that enacted in France, sending Roma people from Romania back to that country. In both cultures, the Roma people are stereotyped as lifestyle criminals, drifters, and child kidnappers.

Jessica Reidy, a Romani freelance writer, teacher, consultant, and editor, writes about this topic in an essay featured in the Expanded Universe column. Reidy attended Florida State University for her MFA in fiction and has been published in Narrative Magazine as "Short Story of the Week", in The Los Angeles Review, The Missouri Review, and more. She works as a visiting professor in the Cambridge Writers' Workshops, as well as managing editor for VIDA: Women in Literary Arts, art editor for The Southeast Review, and outreach editor for the Quail Bell Magazine. Reidy's essay, "Romani (Gypsy) Power in Sci-Fi and Fantasy" explains the perpetuation of Gypsy stereotypes through "the consistent misrepresentation of Roma as non-human in literature, popular culture, and government propaganda". These one-dimensional, filler characters have grown out of their stories to incorrectly shape the way people understand the Roma in the real world.

Rather than complex, three-dimensional characters whose ethnicity is a facet of their personality, Roma people are portrayed using only stereotypes, creating characters of low intelligence, amoral behavior, filth, and magical powers. As Dr. Ian Hancock, a Romani scholar at the University of Texas, Austin, writes in "The Origin and Function of the Gypsy Image in Children's Literature":

...Romanies turn up [in literature] with some frequency — never as characters who happen incidentally also to be Gypsies, but because they are Gypsies, and because they serve a specific purpose. This purpose has, broadly speaking, three manifestations: the Gypsy as liar and thief either of property or (especially) of non-Romani children; the Gypsy as witch or caster of spells; and the Gypsy as romantic figure.

When coming across (or creating) a Roma character, ask yourself: "Is their heritage a part of a deeper character? Or are they just defined by their 'Gypsy' traits?" The answer is often no - these characters are invoked as Roma for a specific reason.

It is easier to reduce an entire people to a stereotype, allowing non-Roma to avoid confronting the injustices done to the Roma, such as the lives lost in the Holocaust, the segregated school systems, the millions living below the poverty line, the Gypsy camps on the fringe of society. By denying the Roma's existence, the deeper problem can be ignored.

For more accurate representation of the Romani people, there is a clear place to look: The work of Romani writers. Their style of writing is heavily influenced by their ongoing history of persecution, sometimes portrayed in fantastical metaphors.

Reidy references the short story, "Black Friday", by Romani author Caren Gussof-Sumption, published on the Fiction Vortex in July 2014. The main character is a shape-shifter with no control over her transformation, making it impossible for her to lead a normal life. After reading it, it is clear that this struggle to balance culture and assimilation is mirrored in Roma history. Just as the shape-shifter felt the world was too small for her, the Roma people have been shuttled from society to society, with claims of scarce resources and overpopulation given as the reason.

Another work mentioned is "A Wedding in Aushwitz" by Rajko Đurić. Though I could only find an excerpt, Reidy describes the book as, on the surface, a "terrifying fever-dream populated by goddesses and shape-shifters which are simply the last figment of a Romani boy's imagination as he dies slowly in a concentration camp". However, these figments of imagination are a way of understanding the incomprehensible events of reality. The narrator's mother, Kali, who comes to him in dreams, is loosely based off of the Romani Goddess Sara Kali, who is the protector of oppressed people. The shape-shifting spirits seen through the story, such as the narrator's brother, are a way to understand a world that violently misunderstands the Roma people, in this case, by killing the narrator's brother.

Though fantastical metaphors are often present, not all Romani writers' stories can be included by default in the genre of magical realism. Though frequently using elements of the Fantastic in her writing, Reidy is clear that she does not write magical realism. The elements she uses are part of real Romani life, shaped by the culture and beliefs. Whether it is offerings to spirits and ancestors, or deities visiting in dreams, these are accepted aspects of the Roma culture. Fantasy enthusiasts can still enjoy the work while keeping in mind there is another level to the story.

Readers could miss the intricate layers in such a story if they choose to believe that Roma culture doesn't exist. Through writing, the Roma have the power to change the stereotypes that have plagued them over the years and to tell their story in a brutally honest way.

Prarthna Johri is a student at Lehigh University in Bethlehem, PA, USA, who is an intern at ROMEA.
Prarthna Johri
Views: 3594x romea.cz

HOW TO BE AN ALLY:

GUIDE TO ALLYSHIP
An open source starter guide to help you become a more thoughtful and effective ally.

TO BE AN ALLY IS TO...

1-Take on the struggle as your own.
2-Transfer the benefits of your privilege to those who lack it.
3-Amplify voices of the oppressed before your own.
4-Acknowledge that even though you feel pain, the conversation is not about you.
5-Stand up, even when you feel scared.
6-Own your mistakes and de-center yourself.
7-Understand that your education is up to you and no one else.

SO YOU WANT TO BE AN ALLY.

Welcome to the Guide to Allyship.

Think of this guide as one of many starting points in your journey to become a better ally. This guide isn't meant to be comprehensive nor is it perfect. There are people far more versed than I, who have dedicated their life's work to this sort of education.

In light of recent events and tragedies, I've been hearing the word "ally" a lot. Many people want to be an "ally", and even more people are unable to fulfill the duties allyship requires.

I use the word "ally" loosely because I find it overused and often abused by those who label themselves "allies." Despite its current misuse, using a different word would only cause confusion. As you read through this guide, be aware that your definition of "ally" may not be the same as the definition I'll introduce you to.

WHAT'S SO SPECIAL ABOUT THIS GUIDE?

There are many great guides out there, and I acknowledge their existence. What's different about this guide is that it's open source (any one can contribute to it) and it doesn't get into specifics: racism, transphobia, gender discrimination, etc. and that's by design.

This guide can't and shouldn't be everything to you. At some point, you need to take responsibility and further your education. When you're done with the guide, please find ways to learn more.

Finally, this is a resource to help anyone considering allyship better understand the pros and cons of what being an ally entails. Allies understand their role in collaboration with people whose lives are affected daily by systemic oppression.

Don't take the responsibility of being an ally lightly.

WHAT THIS GUIDE COVERS:

Why this was created
What is an ally?
Why allies are necessary
The Work of Allyship: Dos and Don'ts
How to handle mistakes
Apologies
Contribute to this guide
Support & share this guide
WHY THIS WAS CREATED

In the summer of 2016, someone I considered an ally stood by and watched as I, a Black person, was berated by a racist. To make matters worse, I had a conversation with this person earlier in the day about the power allies can wield in situations of discrimination. But when the time came for them to take action, they were more interested in protecting their comfort.

Upset, I couldn't understand what happened. Did the conversation we had not get through? What didn't they step up? Then it dawned on me:

Saying you're an ally is much easier than actually being an ally. Saying you're an ally looks good on paper, especially if you're never questioned about your inaction.

Many self-defined "allies" wear the phrase and ideology like an article of clothing, easily discarded when it's no longer fashionable to wear.

If only those from underinvested communities could cast away the identities marking them as targets with such ease.

WHAT IS AN ALLY?

I noted before that I used the word "ally" loosely. In fact, I personally no longer use the word. However, I do think it's a good starting place for those learning to be better allies. I also believe there's an opportunity to explore a better definition of the word. The best definition of "ally" (that I've found) comes from author Roxane Gay in her article for Marie Claire, "On Making Black Lives Matter." In it, she notes:

Black people do not need allies. We need people to stand up and take on the problems borne of oppression as their own, without remove or distance.

We need people to do this even if they cannot fully understand what it's like to be oppressed for their race or ethnicity, gender, sexuality, ability, class, religion, or other marker of identity.

We need people to use common sense to figure out how to participate in social justice.

To recap: Being an ally doesn't necessarily mean you fully understand what it feels like to be oppressed. It means you're taking on the struggle as your own.

An individual from an underinvested community cannot easily cast away the weight of their identity (or identities) shaped through oppression on a whim. They carry that weight every single day, for better or for worse. An ally understands that this is a weight that they, too, must be willing to carry and never put down.

WHY ALLIES ARE NECESSARY

Anyone has the potential to be an ally. Allies recognize that though they're not a member of the underinvested and oppressed communities they support, they make a concerted effort to better understand the struggle, every single day.

Because an ally might have more privilege and recognizes said privilege, they are powerful voices alongside oppressed ones.

THE WORK OF ALLYSHIP

Being an ally is hard work.

Many would-be allies fear making mistakes that could have them labeled as "-ist" or "-ic" (racist, sexist, transphobic, homophobic, etc). But as an ally, you're also affected by a system of oppression. This means that as an ally, there is much to unlearn and learn—mistakes are expected. You need to own this as fact and should be willing to embrace the daily work of doing better.

As an ally, you need to own your mistakes and be proactive in your education, every day.

If you refuse to acknowledge that your words and actions are inherently shaped and influenced by systemic oppression, you're setting up yourself to fail.

Lack of self-awareness is not a trait of an ally. You'll be complicit in the oppression of those you intend to help. If you choose not to understand this, but label yourself an "ally", you're essentially a wolf in sheep's clothing. You'll find ways to infiltrate vulnerable communities and wield far more power than someone who is outwardly "-ist" or "-ic" because you're "trusted."

Just as society will not change overnight, neither will you. Here are some important do's and don'ts to consider as you learn, grow, and step into the role of an ally.

THE DOS

Do be open to listening
Do be aware of your implicit biases
Do your research to learn more about the history of the struggle in which you are participating
Do the inner work to figure out a way to acknowledge how you participate in oppressive systems
Do the outer work and figure out how to change the oppressive systems
Do use your privilege to amplify (digitally and in-person) historically suppressed voices
Do learn how to listen and accept criticism with grace, even if it's uncomfortable
Do the work every day to learn how to be a better ally
THE DON'TS

Do not expect to be taught or shown. Take it upon yourself to use the tools around you to learn and answer your questions
Do not participate for the gold medal in the "Oppression Olympics" (you don't need to compare how your struggle is "just as bad as" a marginalized person's)
Do not behave as though you know best
Do not take credit for the labor of those who are marginalized and did the work before you stepped into the picture
Do not assume that every member of an underinvested community feels oppressed
BOOTS & SANDALS: HOW TO HANDLE MISTAKES
Contributed by Presley Pizzo. Please credit Presley when referencing this section.

While mistakes are to be expected, what's the best way to go about resolving them?

Note: Parts of this section were originally based on Kayla Reed's (@iKaylaReed) tweet sharing her definition of what it means to be an ally. It's another great definition that'll help you follow along with this section!

Imagine your privilege is a heavy boot that keeps you from feeling when you're stepping on someone's feet or they're stepping on yours, while oppressed people have only sandals. If someone says, "ouch! You're stepping on my toes," how do you react?

Because we can think more clearly about stepping on someone's literal toes than we usually do when it comes to oppression, the problems with many common responses are obvious:

Centering yourself: "I can't believe you think I'm a toe-stepper! I'm a good person!"
Denial that others' experiences are different from your own: "I don't mind when people step on my toes."
Derailing: "Some people don't even have toes, why aren't we talking about them instead?"
Refusal to center the impacted: "All toes matter!"
Tone policing: "I'd move my foot if you'd ask me more nicely."
Denial that the problem is fixable: "Toes getting stepped on is a fact of life. You'll be better off when you accept that."
Victim blaming: "You shouldn't have been walking around people with boots!"
Withdrawing: "I thought you wanted my help, but I guess not. I'll just go home."
In reality, most of us naturally know the right way to react when we step on someone's toes, and we can use that to help us learn how to react when we commit microaggressions.

Center the impacted: "Are you okay?"
Listen to their response and learn.
Apologize for the impact, even though you didn't intend it: "I'm sorry!"
Stop the instance: move your foot
Stop the pattern: be careful where you step in the future. When it comes to oppression, we want to actually change the "footwear" to get rid of privilege and oppression (sneakers for all!), but metaphors can only stretch so far!
Reacting in a fair and equitable way isn't about learning arbitrary rules or being a doormat. Rather, it's about restoring and maintaining dignity and respect for everyone involved - both the person who is hurt, and you. Still, it's hard to remember in the moment, because these issues are so charged in our society. As such, it may be helpful to reframe the situation so that you don't feel defensive.

You may have noticed it's easier to handle being corrected about something you didn't know if you're grateful for and even open to the opportunity to learn rather than embarrassed to have been wrong. Being able to let go of your ego is an incredibly important skill to develop.

Try starting with "Thanks for letting me know" to put yourself in a better frame of mind. If after you say that, you need to take some time to think about the situation, that's fine, too. Just remember that this isn't about changing the other person's frame of mind. They're allowed to be upset about being oppressed.

APOLOGIES
So you've made a mistake and you want to apologize. Where do you begin?

What is an apology?

Before you can apologize, you need to know what an apology is.

Apologies are social contracts that hold you accountable. They tell others that you are taking responsiblity, are open to the consequences of your actions, and plan to do better in the future.

Bad apologies are performances meant to protect pride and ego. They exist to make the apologizer feel and look good, while defending their intent.

Good apologies are heartfelt acts that let go of pride and ego. They center the pain of the impacted, regardless of the apologizer's intent.

Think of pain as a gradient—it doesn't have to be extreme to have a significant impact. Accidentally misgendering someone can cause them pain. Stepping on someone's toes can cause them pain.

Attributes of a good apology

Apologies aren't a magic fix and won't solve mistakes of the past, but there are a few attributes that make for a good apology.

Timely
Delivered at the right moment in the right place and time.

Consider the context in which you want to apologize and how that might affect not only you but also the person receiving your apology.

Context can include your current mental state (are you feeling defensive? Upset? Nervous? Calm?), the physical space you're in (private or public area), or the apology's medium (phone, online, text message, in person).

Respects boundaries
Given when the person receiving the apology consents to it.

Your desire to give an apology right now doesn't mean that the receiver is ready for it. Some people need space to process, and you should respect that. When they're willing to reconnect, if at all, they may let you know (or they may not).

Self-aware
Know that the act of apology may not lead to the closure you expect.

The apology receiver may choose to never interact with you again. Either after you give an apology or before you give it. You have to find a way to make peace with that. Do not pressure or shame someone into accepting your apology.

One of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves is learning how to create closure within rather than expecting other people to give it to us.

Reflective
Signals that the apologizer is taking full responsibility for their actions.

Apologizing means letting go of your ego to show that you care about someone and want to make things right. Good apologies center the person being apologized to. They also take direct ownership of the actions that caused pain by naming them clearly.

CONTRIBUTE TO THIS GUIDE

This guide is open source, meaning that anyone can contribute. I'm a queer Black femme and my voice should not be the only one shaping this guide.

If you identify as a member of an underinvested community and want to contribute, please submit a pull-request on this GitHub repository.

If you aren't a GitHub user and would still like to contribute, send me an email at guidetoallyship [to] byamelie [dot] co.

operroma.carrd.co

scoatebibliadinparlament.carrd.co

What is AUR and what is happening in Romania?
#scoatebibliadinparlament
This carrd is owned by @keysofpluto on twitter, dm me if you want to add something or find a petition or just @ me in a post with the link to the petition or with what you want to add (if my dms aren't open)

#scoatebibliadinparlament (a hashtag translated to "remove the Bible from the Parliament") ¬ WHAT'S HAPPENING IN ROMANIA?
A political party named "AUR" is trying to ban being gay, being an immigrant and being an atheist. This political party is extremely disrespectful to people that believe in atheism. They try to push their xenophobic, sexist and homophobic beliefs by using Christianity and religion multiple times.

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Crearea unui profil de conținut personalizat. Măsurarea performanței conținutului. Crearea unui profil de reclame personalizate. Selectarea reclamelor personalizate. Măsurarea performanței reclamelor. Aplicarea cercetărilor de piață pentru a genera informații despre audiență. Selectarea reclamelor de bază. Selectarea conținutului personalizat. Dezvoltarea și îmbunătățirea produselor. Stocarea și/sau accesarea informațiilor de pe un dispozitiv. Date precise de geolocație și identificarea prin scanarea dispozitivului. ( Credit to @franzkarma on twitter for the following information, everything is written by them )
CONTEXT: A summary of AUR
AUR (partidul "Alianta pentru Unirea Romanilor" ¬ "Alliance for the Unity of Romanians" party) is a very new political party in Romania, founded in late 2019. They are self-proclaimed "radical" far-right, conservative, ultranationalist, and very keen on maintaining Orthodox Christian values in their politics. The leaders of this party are insanely misogynistic, racist, xenophobic, LGBT+phobic, etc.
A highly concerning aspect of the Romanian elections is that AUR ended up ranking as #3, essentially breaking into the Parliament. Despite being such a new and nearly unheard of party up until now, they managed to win the majority vote in multiple areas of Romania, and gained even more popularity on the Internet. The Romanian press is now starting to cover their activity, and they are growing a steadier number of supporters. After these events, it is likely that their popularity and number of voters will grow to a worrying extent in future elections. Things are unpredictable this early on, but if they keep gaining supporters, our country will essentially be doomed. Minorities are already treated HORRIBLY in Romania, but this would be the final straw in the battle for human rights.
Here's a short run-down of horrible things the AUR party believes in.

TW // pedophilia / misogyny / xenophobia / racism / homophobia / transphobia / religion ¬ christianity
So far, AUR:
>have openly expressed support for Donald Trump
>oppose "gender-ideology-based sexual education in schools"
>oppose "public-funded abortion and legal abortion-on-demand (except in medically warranted and other clearly-specified cases)". AUR supports "the rights of the unborn child"
>have STRONGLY opposed gay marriage and transition surgeries for transgender citizens, labeling them as "Freudo-Marxism-inspired 'innovations' meant to fluidize, relativize, and eventually abolish the traditional moral paradigm and the natural, biological realities."

ON RELIGION
>have labeled themselves as "the defenders of the Church"
>strongly oppose/condemn atheists or any citizen who does not abide by Orthodox Christian values, ultimately forcing religion into the Parliament
Their official website states:
"Atheism is an error caused by the arrogance of those who claim that an anthropocentrical view on the universe is superior to a theocentrical one. [...] A.U.R is opposed to the denigration of the clergy, slurring of religious symbols, and maligning the faithful who dare assume publicly their Christian commitment."COVID-19
>have stated they are anti-mask, the senate leader (Sorin Lavric) stating in a Facebook post that masks are "worthless from a medical standpoint, and mutilation from a psychological standpoint"

MISOGYNY & PEDOPHILIA
The AUR Senate leader, Sorin Lavric, wrote in one of his books "Decoction of a Woman"
>"What a woman desires is for you to make her forget the precarious condition of her idiotic/insane composition"
>"I am not an admirer of the beautiful sex" (Note: the Romanian phrase "sexul frumos" is directly translated to "the beautiful sex", though it has no proper English translation. It's generally an even more misogynistic way of saying "female" since it tends to be used by men to further the idea of women being objects/having to be beautiful and submissive to men). "Admiration is the ab initio acknowledgement of a relationship that entails superiority [of women]: you admire someone because you view them as above you, whereas the woman can be desired at most, but should be in no way admired."
>"No man ever seeks intelligence nor depth from a woman. Whoever seeks philosophy will not find it in the mind of a woman. The woman's purpose is to be a muse, after she has stopped being a mere mistress."
"Since I am not interested in ranking vanities, it only makes sense for me to affirm that the struggle of abstract thinking is a prerogative meant solely for the male intellect."
>He vividly describes how he wanted to fondle women's breasts. I'm not going to translate that because it's insanely disturbing.
>HE CONFESSES TO ONLY BEING SEXUALLY/ROMANTICALLY INTERESTED IN WHAT HE NAMES "THE ADOLESCENT SPECIES" OF WOMEN AGED 15-25 DESPITE BEING 53 YEARS OLD. 15 YEAR OLDS. He also dedicates a lot of his book to "classifying" these women in various categories that are INSANELY misogynistic.
>"There's 3 situations in which the sight of a woman results in utter disgust: when she is taking care of her personal hygiene, when she is trying on clothes in the mirror, and when she is sitting on the table at the gynecologist".
Lavric writes that, to him, a woman at the gynecologist is "the most repulsive situation in which the 'feminine element' can end up in".
Due to the fact that AUR is a new party, and that they are only now gaining momentum in Romanian media, it's safe to assume this is only the tip of the iceberg in regards to their absolutely disgusting views, and that worse things will likely continue to be exposed as time goes on.
(written by @franzkarma) Unfortunately, we cannot do anything about this. All we can do is spread awareness and spam AUR's comment section on Instagram. PLEASE POST ABOUT #scoatebibliadinparlament (take the Bible out of the parliament or stop using the bible in the parliament) to spread awareness.