I wake up

My head pounding

My throat scratching

I pull myself out of the bed

I reach out to my bedside table

I check my alarm clock

05:36

I rub sleep out my eyes

I walk over to my closet

I pull out shorts and a t-shirt

I tie my hair up

I look in my mirror to see a fresh bruise on my cheek

"Fuck" I curse under my breath

I apply a heavy amount of concealer

I grab my converse and lace them up

I grab my backpack

I pad downstairs trying not to wake mom, Zach & the kids

I saunter through to the kitchen and grab a granola bar

I try to sneak out the door when I hear breathing behind my back

I slowly turn around

I clench my fists

I turn around to see Kurt sat on the stairs and let out a sigh of relief

"Why you leaving so early ?" He asks with a curious look

"I can't sleep and I want to get to band early " I say smiling

"Oh okay" he says looking a bit sad

"Look I'll be back normal time tonight" I hug him tightly

"Bye Kurt" I say almost closing the door

"Bye" I watch Kurt walk up the stairs

I close the door and check my phone

6:20

I run down the sidewalk

The thud of my shoes heavy

The sky was dark

I curse under my breath the fact I didn't pick up a hoodie

I continue to walk, I pop in my earphones and take in a deep breath

I run down the sidewalk, scuffing my sneakers slightly

I reach violet's street and decide to walk with her

I knock on the bright yellow door

"Hello, (y/n) how are you kiddo haven't seen you in a while, you are really early, take a seat I'll call her down" I'm greeted by (y/f/m/n) she practically raised me, violet and I were friends since we were young, she would take us to the park, make us picnics, her dad (y/f/d/n) would take us on bike rides and even took us parasailing one year, they were my second family

I sat myself down on the turquoise velvet couch in the center of the living room

Whilst passing the time i decided to be a very stereotypical teenage girl and write in my journal

Violet gave it to me for my thirteenth birthday, it was black and she had cut out and plastered pictures of us and out friends on it and she even studded the spine of it

Dear diary,
Why the fuck am I doing this ?

Right anyway, where do I begin
Umm I got a head injury somehow( probably my own fault), Zach is being a complete Douche and I think he could he responsible for the head injury, violet and the gang got me stoned yesterday (it was great!) violet is being sweet as per usual, I think I like Gerard from the comic store but in not sure yet, i hate myself (more than usual) but I think things are okay, I just wish I knew how I hurt my head, but things are looking up

I close the journal and slide it back into my backpack

"GOoOOOOD morning (y/n) " Violet booms, running into the room

"Ugh it's too early for happiness" I groan, flopping my head on my knees

"God it's always so dull with you " she giggles, giving my shoulder a shove

"Want coffee?" Her mom walks through, freshly brewed coffee in hand

"God you are a gem" I say clasping the warm mug in my hands pressing it to my lips

"No probs honey" she flashes her signature smile and heads back through to the kitchen

"Hey what's the assignment for Miss Cassidy's class?" I ask violet with a look of desperation

"Oh we have to write a report on aerobic respiration and stuff like that" she smiles pulling on her hoodie and grabbing her bag

"Bye (y/f/m/n)" I say after chugging down the coffee and plopping the mug on the kitchen counter

"Bye girls, have fun" she smiles as she kisses us both on the cheek

We run out of the door hands clasped, I'm very clumsy and she insists on keeping a hold of me

My pale legs gain goosebumps in the sheer bitterness of the wind, I'm not complaining however I love cold weather, rain especially.

We reach the school and I look up at the white fortress that looms above us, filled with too many people, but a home for us all.

Violet runs to her locker and pulls out her makeup, she somehow manages to apply her makeup without a smudged eye in sight

School is pretty boring, like food with no seasoning, bland

I hate the way that we have to sit and pretend to care for at least half of the subjects, like we could at least do what we enjoy...but hey for some reason I need to understand trigonometry, more like triggernometry

The school is sweltering compared to the sharp weather outside, I can feel my makeup start to fade and run, shit what is people see the bruise...

"Mr Elliot, please can I be excused" I ask raising my hand

"(Y/n) of course, please be quick I don't want you missing my really interesting talk on English literature" he laughs and dismisses me

I run to the bathroom and push open the door, I look in the mirror the white haze of light above my head, my lovely bruise is crawling its way through my thick pasting of make-up, I splash my face with water and sigh, there's no pleasing some people, Zach needs a big vibe check.

I walk back out into the hall, and instead of heading back to English I run straight down the hall and out into the courtyard, gasping in air as the doors fly open

It's always been lose, lose, lose with me
That's gonna change

Hey
I haven't been active in a loooooong time, but ya boi is back
Eat veggies
Don't do drugs/or do but plz don't die
Caffeine lots of it
Be happy
Be proud
Love you all

Your emo mother
Xoxo