Owtor's Nowt: I don't know what it is but is better to hear things from the horse's mouth. If only Ava stopped, asked and listened, what do you think could've happened? Would be the outcome different? Well, we won't find out till we were in there shoes.

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“YOU! It was you!” Napatayo si George mula sa kanyang kinauupuan. “Ikaw ang dahilan kung bakit maraming taon ang nawala sa amin ni Rage? Ikaw din ang dahilan kung bakit nagkasira sila Kuya Nikko at Ate Celia? Bakit?” Hindi naman nakasigaw si George ngunit dama mo ang galit at hinanakit sa boses niya. Nahihiya si Ava sa mga nangyari. Alam niyang siya ang may kasalanan pero eto… mukha yatang mas gumulo.

“Sandali lang. Wag naman lahat isisi nyo kay Ava. May kasalanan din kami ni Cecil.” Napatinging naguguluhan si Cecilia sa ipinahayag ni Anton.

“Teka, paanong naging kasalanan natin? Paano akong nasama sa may mali? Sino ba sa aming dalawa ang basta-basta na lang nanunggab ng halik sa boyfriend ng may boyfriend? Not me. He kissed my boyfriend then. Not once, mind you, not once, but twice. Nikko let go of the first time, he didn't tell me about that moment kasi iniisip niya na baka ginu-goodtime mo lang daw siya at ayaw niya rin akong masaktan, he explained it to me in the car on our way here and I believed him. Pero yung pangalawa na nakaharap pa ako mismo? Yun, sinadya mo na yun, Ava. How could you?” Nanggigigil si Cecilia. Oo nga at kaibigan niya ito pero sumobra ito at sinira nito ito hindi lang sila ni Nikko, dinamay pa sa gulo si Rage at George.

"Cel, siguro naman pwede na nating kalimutan yun? Can we just move on?" Pakiusap ni Anton.

"Move on? Easy for you to say. Hindi kasi ikaw ang iniwan." Himutok ni Nikko. Una sa lahat siya ng ang dapat na magalit dahil ginawa nito sa kanila.

"Ava, you purposely and deliberately kissed him in front of me. You know I was about to tell him something important that day and I know you know what that was, yet you planned to ruined it all along. You planned to do just that at the exact moment I told you what I was going to do.” Tumulo ang luha sa mga mata ni Cecilia. Hindi na niya napigil pa ang damdaming matagal niyang kinimkim. Naiyak na rin si Ava. Parehong awa ang makikita sa mga mata ng dalawang lalaki habang nakatingin sa kani-kanilang minamahal.

“The first time was on an angry impulse. The second time, yes. I did planned it. I purposely did it at that exact moment dahil alam kong masasaktan ka, I thought. Akala ko kasi he was cheating on me with you.” Natigagal si Cecilia sa sinabi ni Ava. Mahina lang yun pero para siyang nabingi. Mataman lamang na nakikinig sina George at Rage at mga kasama sa kanila.

“What are you talking about, Ayv? How can he have cheated on you kung wala ng lumabas sa bibig ng lalaking yan kundi ang pangalan mo.” Tumango-tango si Nikko bilang pagsang-ayon sa sinabi ni Cecilia. Alam niya kasi kung gaano ka-importante love ang kaibigan nila kay Ava. “He was totally in love with you… to the core and scared out of his wits at the same time because you are Ava Marie Beltran, the daughter of the country's renowned judge, Judge Avelino Beltran, ang babaeng pinagpapantasyahan ng lahat ng kalalakihan sa campus and even off campus, even I was insecured and afraid na baka magustuhan ka rin ni Nikko, then that kiss happened it made my world go into fell apart. Ang sakit, Ava. Ang sakit-sakit. Alam mo bang tiniis ko lahat ng sakit na mag-isa sa malayong lugar? Wala akong kakilala. Wala akong matakbuhan.” Muling tumulo ang masayang luha sa mga mata ni Cecilia. Hinaplos-haplos ni Nikko ang likod niya para kalamayin ang loob niya.

“I'm really, really sorry, Celly. It was wrong for me to do what I did.” Nakayukong sambit ni Ava.

“One thing is for sure, Ayv, I will never cheat on Nikko, alam mong minahal ko siya ng totoo and you know that. Magkakaibigan tayong apat, alam natin ang takbo ng utak natin, I thought, mali pala ako, none of us saw it coming only you.” Mas lalong lumakas ang iyak ni Cecilia. Awang-awa si Nikko sa dating kasintahan pero wala siyang magawa. Ramdam ni George ang sakit na dinadanas ng Kuya niya.

“I'm sorry if I had misunderstood the words I heard back then and thought of the worst from the actions I saw. I saw so blindly in love with Anton, not because of his looks, but because of his big heart and intelligence, that I neglected to understand that before me and him there was you, Nikko and Anton. I ignored the fact that I was the outsider.” Humugot ng malalim na hininga si Ava na parang doon kumukuha ng lakas bago pa muling magsalita. “I asked my dad, no, I forced him to talk to Anton’s parents to arranged the marriage between us para maging akin lang siya. I was happy kasi pumayag siya, he told me he loves me but then I heard him saying na mahal na mahal ka niya, it crushed me. I thought, how could you both do that to me when I treated you like a sister. I was so mad and so angry beyond imagination na ang tangi kong naisip noon, instead of confronting you two, is to just get even on both of you through Nikko. After kong nagawa ang ginawa ko, I still feel empty and unsatisfied. I want more. Then I realized that you started ignoring Nikko like he never meant to you, and that was not the plan. So, the next thing I know that will hurt you is through your cousin, Rager. Alam ko kasing mahal na mahal mo siya na parang kapatid. I became so clingy to Rager dahil akala ko doon ka na papalag. I was waiting for you to blow up and confront me because of that para maisampal ko rin sa iyo ang sakit na nararamdaman ko, but I didn't know na iba pala ang masasaktan ko. I didn't know na masasaktan ko pala si Nikko at ang girlfriend ni Rager. I thought of him kasi alam kong safe siya. Nikko, Georgina, I am so sorry. The truth is, I never kissed Rager like the way you all think. I made it seemed like it kasi nakita ko si Nikko sa harap ng building. Alam ko rin na, Celly na nandito ka pa nun. I thought na kapag ginawa ko yun ay susugod si Nikko at magkakaalaman na. I was such a mess. I made everyone a mess. I'm so sorry.” Walang nakakibo isa man sa kanila sa haba ng salaysay ni Ava. Hindi nila alam kung paanong tatanggapin ang paliwanag nito.

“You took six years of our lives together! You took six years of happiness from us tapos ngayon yan lang ang sasabihin mo?! Sorry?! Ava, I never confronted nor ask you why you did what you did dahil alam kong malinis ang konsensya ko, but you never cleared it up with her either! You didn't even try to explained kung bakit mo ginawa ang mga ginawa, tapos ngayon magbabalik ka para sabihin ang sorry mo?! Para saan pa?! Nasira mo na kami! Maibabalik mo ba ang panahon kinuha mo sa amin ni Cecilia?! Maibabalik mo pa ba kami?!” Dumagundong ang boses ni Nikko sa loob ng apat na sulok na sala ng unit ni Rage. Napakunot si Ava, maging si Cecilia at George ay ganun din.

“N-nikko…” Nanginginig ang boses ni Ava, hindi alam kung ano ang sasabihin. Kasalanan naman kasi niya. Dahil sa pride niya ay hindi niya nakuhang mag-isip ng tama noon. Basta na lang niya pinairal ng kakitiran ng utak niya.

“Kuya Nikko, okay naman na kami ni Rage, siguro naman ay magiging okay na rin kayo ni ate Celia.” Panimula ni George. “Kung meron akong natutunan sa lahat ng mga nangyari sa amin ni Rage ay yun yung makinig sa dahilan, i-process sa utak, pag-usapan ang mga bagay-bagay at bitawan ang hindi magagandang nangyari para hindi na makapagsalita sa hinaharap. If we are going to live in the past katulad ng ginawa ko noon, I made things a little bit more complicated than what it should be. Kung hindi ko nilunok ang ang mapait na nakaraan, I won't be sitting here right now with Rage, my husband, happy and contented.” Pinisil niya ang kamay ni Rage na nakapatong sa kanyang balikat. Kinabig naamn siya ni Raha palapit sa kanya. Napatingin naman ang lahat sa kanilang dalawa.

“I know I have no room to talk, but Georgina is right. I lived with hatred for years kahit kasal na kami ni Anton, until finally he was at his last straw with me and laid it all out, his pain, his hang-ups, his insecurities, his fears, his burdens which was the same as mine. That's when I found out about the truth. It was my narrow-mindedness that got ahold of me. There was no cheating, there was no betrayal, what was there was just pure friendship that I seemed to ruined, too. I was the one with a dirty mind kasi nga I was blinded, not justifying my actions, but that's the truth. When Anton told me kung bakit ka niya pinipilit na sumama sa Olongapo and he was emotionally blackmailing you kasi natatakot siyang baka umatras ako sa arrangement ng mga magulang namin at  gusto niyang nandun ka. At kung hindi ka naman daw pumayag na sumama, gusto sana niyang pakiusapan si Nikko na sumama na rin para hindi siya magmukhang tanga just in case I said no to his marriage proposal. As stupid as it sound and as childish as it is, ako ang may kasalanan sa inyong lahat. I can't go back and turn the time, I know you guys may not forgive me but I really just wanted to say sorry. I can't be a good mother to my daughter and a good wife to my husband if there are things in my past na hindi maayos. Kung hindi man maayos at least I made amends with my mistakes.” Tahimik lamang si Rage, pinipili intindihin ang lahat. Napangiti naman si George sa mga sinasabi ni Ava. Tao lang naman tayo, nagkakamali at nagkakasala, kung hindi natin sila mapapatawad sino pa ang gagawa nun? Mapanuyang ngumiti si Cecilia sa sinabi ni Ava.

"Well, good for you. Buo ang pamilya mo, habang ang sa akin ay hindi at yan ay dahil sa iyo." Mas lalong nanikip ang dibdib ni Cecilia. Narinig naman ng nakikinig lamang na si Mark ang ibinulong ni Cecilia ngunit hindi siya nagsalita. Wala rin naman siyang magagawa kung ayaw magsalita ni Cecilia.

“Well, mas simple itong sasabihin ko.” Panimula ni George. “Kung ang Diyos nga nakakapagpatawad ng may pinaka mabigat at pinaka malaking kasalanan na tao, tayo pa kaya? Alam n'yo, tama naman kayo eh. Marami at malaki ang mga nawala sa atin, pero kahapon pa yun, wala tayong magagawa doon. Ang meron lang tayo ay ngayon. Yung bukas naman kasi ay hindi pa guaranteed kasi wala pa tayo doon. Kuya Nikko, i-let go mo na yan, at least ngayon alam na natin na walang may nagtaksil na isa man sa inyo ni Rage. Can't you just be happy and focus on that? Ate Celia, ngayon alam na natin ang lahat, are we still gonna be stubborn about it? Guys, life is too short to be so negative. We can't always be bitter, masarap lang ang ampalaya sa almusal lalo pa at may halong binating itlog, other than that? Wala na. Pait lang.” Napatawa si Dean, Levi, Brennan, Mark at Rage. Napangiti naman si Anton at Nikko.

“George, I'm so sorry. Hindi ko alam na sa ginawa ko ay nadamay ang relationship n’yo ni Rager. Ang sa akin lang noon ay maiparamdam kay Anton at Celly ang sakit na naramdaman ko nung akalang kong mnagtatapat ng pag-ibig si Anton sa kanya and vice versa. Dagdagan pa ng pilikmatang pumasok sa mata ni Anton and Celly was trying to take out, which I though that they were kissing.” Napailing-iling si Ava sa mga pangyayari sa nakaraan. Noon masakit, ngayon nakakatawa, kaya ang resulta ay nakakainis, nakakabwisit.

“Yun ba ang ikinagalit mo?” Bungad ni Nikko. Tumango naman si Ava. Napatawa tuloy siya ng wala sa oras. Natulala si Celia at Ava sa kanya. Natawa na rin si Anton habang ang karamihan sa kanila ay nakatunganga. Nagtataka kung bakit parang baliw na natawa si Nikko.

“What so funny, Kuya? Gusto mo na ring mag-asawa tulad ni Bunso?” Hirit ni Dean. Dahil doon ay parang go signal na para sa lahat na makitawa na rin.

"Dean!!!" Sigaw ni Mark para patahimikin ang kapatid. Napakamot na lang ito ng ulo at nag-peace sign sa kanila. Napapailing na lang si Nikko.

“Anyway. What's funny? Yun din kasi ang naabutan ko nung araw na yun, katatapos ko lang sa engkwentro sa iyo sa labas, ang akala ko rin ay naghahalikan si Anton at Celia, but when I came closer to asked what was going on, that's when I saw what she was trying to do, at first I thought she was trying to gouge out his eyeball pero in-explain nila sa akin na napuwing siya sa sariling pilikmata kaya ganun ang ayos nila. She was trying to help help get the tiny little hair out of his eyes. Hindi ko man lang naisip na yun pala ang dahilan kung bakit ka nag-walkout at basta-basta na lang nanghalik. Now I understand it more.” Patuloy sa pagtawa na sabi ni Nikko. Napataas ang kilay ni Ava. Nakaramdam siya ng matinding galit sa sarili.

“Now I felt more stupid. Ugh. This is more than shameful. This is loathsome.” Napaub-ob na lang si Ava sa kanyang palad at umiyak ng umiyak. Paano ba niya mababago ang kamaliang nagawa niya sa mga kaibigan? Paano ba niya yun maitatama? Ang tanga niya kasi eh. Ang tanga-tanga niya.

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End of GR 23

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💖 ~ Ms J ~ 💖
11.13.18

©️George's Rage
September 20, 2018
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