Maybe he can give it up. Just a little. For Diluc. Maybe it is still acceptable that way. But Childe doesn't want to let go of this power, and neither does he of Diluc. It's been fine that way — hasn't it? Has it? Is there something wrong? Is there something fundamentally wrong with him?

(ChiLuc Week 2022 | Day 1 (SFW): domestic)

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Character(s): Childe | Tartaglia (Ajax), Diluc, Kaeya

Relationship(s): Childe/Diluc, Childe & Kaeya, Diluc & Kaeya

Tags & warnings: graphic depictions of violence, ChiLuc Week 2022 (on twitter), domestic, fluff, angst with happy ending, hurt/comfort, lore, Fatui, Abyss Order, Delusions, title is lyrics from "Cry Baby" by The Neighborhood

Word count: 2021

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The afternoon was humid. Childe could feel beads of sweat forming on his already-sticky skin, dampening his hair and soaking into his clothes. This kind of weather did make it easier for him to summon his Hydro weapons, but (1) he could win against these new recruits even with a handicap, and (2) with their home base being in Snezhnaya, he'd rather not get too used to all this warmth. But as he sliced through yet another wave of amateur fatui trainees, dual swords effortlessly morphing into a spear and then a bow, Childe couldn't help but relish in the flow of battle, of his own adrenaline.

All too soon, training was over. "Recruits couldn't take it anymore" or something like that. How uninteresting, Childe thought while flicking off the debris caught in his weapons. A cold shower would be heavenly right about now....

"At least try to go easy on them, would you?" Speak of the devil. Childe glanced sideways just in time to catch Kaeya's smirk, something the other man used in place of a proper greeting much too often. Childe huffed, "They'd be no use to the Tsaritsa at that point."

"Well, they wouldn't be of much use either if they're dead," Kaeya replied, calmly and infuriatingly. Childe rolled his eyes. "You're one to talk. You would do the same thing and call it an accident."

Kaeya smiled. "Wow. I should take that as an insult."

"You should."

"Have you done what I asked?"

The Hydro weapons hung by Childe's side, but did not melt away. Their owner scoffed, "In your dreams. It's ridiculous."

"I'm being serious, Childe." The moisture in the air suddenly felt crisp. Childe's eyebrow twitched when the other man raised an arm, but Kaeya only used it to gesture around the training field. "Diluc doesn't need any more of this. He doesn't need you in his life. Let my brother go."

"I'm not holding him hostage," the ginger replied. "He's free to go, and stay, as he wishes."

"This isn't a request."

"You don't know what's best for him."

"And you think you do?" Kaeya's glare was like a sharp icicle thrusted right into Childe's face. "In your fucking dreams."

"How was work?"

"Ah, same old," Childe leans down to smooch Diluc on the cheek. "Nothing I'd wanna bore you with." The other man chuckles before shoving him away, the force much too light for Childe to budge. "Sorry. I probably stink, don't I?"

"I'm glad you noticed," Diluc smiles again, before cupping the back of his head and pulling him into a kiss. "You're salty. Gosh," he murmurs, the wetness of his lips against Childe's own almost enough to make the latter shiver. Diluc smells nice, of shampoo and firewood and other such things. Childe pouts when he pulls away. "That's it?"

"What do you mean?!" Diluc lets out a defeated laugh. "You need to go take a shower. And put those disgusting clothes into the laundry, right now. Dinner will be waiting."

"And you?" It slips out before Childe can think. Diluc's crimson gaze twinkles like a live fire.

"Me, too."

*

The Delusion drained its power from him. In a split second, Childe was on the ground, head pounding so hard he felt it might just explode. Grass stung like a thousand needles against his palms; the simple smell of dirt made him want to throw up. By some miracle, he forced his eyes to open and look sideways. Kaeya seemed to be in no better shape; his fingers were so frostbitten they could barely hold onto his sword anymore, and the lavender aura of superconduct still about him certainly wasn't helping. Satisfied, Childe relaxed and fully faceplanted into the earth.

"D-don't look so self-s-s-satisfied," he suddenly heard Kaeya sputter. Archons, how was he still running that mouth? "You had t-to use your Delusion for this."

"Do you want me to ap—" Formulating words almost cost Childe his entire consciousness. "Apologize for the fact that you never received one?"

"That I never needed on—" Kaeya stopped and coughed, the sound wet, as if he was hacking up blood. If they weren't on such... strange terms, Childe would have voiced his admiration for the other man. "Ugh. Hell no. You're enjoying that power too much."

"The Delusion?"

"That transformation. The Abyss," Kaeya whispered. It echoed so deafeningly inside Childe's skull he almost winced. His voice became a growl, "I know what I'm doing."

"Not nearly enough. Y'know what I know?" He couldn't tell if Kaeya was slurring his words, or it was his own mind finally faltering. "What it'll do to my brother to lose another person in his life. But you, you're one battle away from giving up all of yourself. Are you even a person anymore?"

Childe flops down on the couch, head coming to a comfortable stop in Diluc's lap. The sun shines warm and bright even through his closed eyelids.

"What's this?" Diluc's voice is part annoyed, part amused. Childe feels for his hands, rids them of whatever documents and stationery they're holding, and pulls them down to his own head. "I have a headache."

"And...?" Diluc asks, but his fingers are already combing through the ginger locks. Childe soaks in the sensation of gentle presses and rubs on his scalp for a moment. "I'm taking a nap."

"You told me you can't nap."

"Maybe this time." Maybe he can give it up. Just a little. For Diluc. Maybe it is still acceptable that way. But Childe doesn't want to let go of this power, and neither does he of Diluc. It's been fine that way — hasn't it? Has it? Is there something wrong? Is there something fundamentally wrong with him?

"Ajax." Diluc's voice seems to be a thousand miles away. Childe sits up. His hands shake against his face. "You okay?"

"How...." Even his own voice sounds odd. "How long was I...?"

"Well, barely five minutes." It's still hard to make out what Diluc is saying. "I wasn't sure if I should let you keep sleeping. You looked a little distressed."

"A-a little?" He shouldn't have done it. He just wakes up wrong. Maybe he hasn't even. It feels like he's still alone in that abyss, until something warm comes up from behind and envelops him in a hug, and Diluc pulls his hands away from his face. "Did something happen?"

"No — I, just." Childe finds himself falling back into Diluc's chest. Almost vaporizing. "My head still hurts." The arms around him tighten, as if coaxing him back to sleep. Childe fights the all-encompassing warmth. "Sorry for interrupting your work."

"No need to apologize." Diluc plants a kiss atop his hair. "It isn't your fault, anyhow."

*

"Resistance is futile!"

Childe could only raise an arm to cover his head before a blast of water hit him straight on. It threw him backward into a tree, pain exploding in his chest upon impact. He crashed to the ground with an unceremonious grunt. A few feet away, the Abyss Herald was crawling and convulsing around like something straight out of his worst nightmares. Pieces of its armor bent and snapped around whatever was underneath them, until that cursed entity rose up again, now shrouded in a ghastly blue glow.

Childe looked down at his hands. His Vision was useless now. He could always just shoot at it until he runs out of arrows. The Electro Delusion purred like an enticing offer. No. Forget it. There has to be some other way. Where was Kaeya? Where the hell was he when Childe actually wanted him around?

He threw himself at the Herald again. No rest for the wicked. Everything blurred together in a rainstorm of thrill, desperation and mania, as it often did. And as it also often did, debilitating pain and exhaustion finally pulled him out.

"You're an actual idiot." Or Kaeya. Kaeya counted as a debilitating pain now — pain in Childe's ass. He was only a working voice short of screaming when the other man pulled him along. "Better get out of here."

Childe's legs dragged on the ground. His vision fell in and out of focus. Each time the other man yanked, it felt like his ribcage was going to break in half. "Kaeya, s-stop—"

"Spare me the whimpering." Said man discarded him less-than-gently onto solid ground. Kaeya's gaze, when he caught it, was entirely unreadable. "Let's clean up your mess, now."

Childe feels as warm and helpless as melting snow when he wakes up.

He stares at the ceiling. This is Diluc's bedroom. It seemed clear enough that Kaeya didn't give a damn whether he would survive or not, so Diluc must have been the one who brought him inside and took care of him. Childe turns toward the bedside table. There lies his work outfit, freshly laundered, and next to it his Hydro Vision and Electro Delusion.

Oh, that damned Kaeya. What a fucking mess, indeed.

Familiar footsteps sound from outside the door. Dread rapidly descends upon Childe. Diluc enters and shrugs off his jacket, before noticing his open eyes. "Oh. You're awake. I was starting to wonder if we should send you to the Church." He carries on as if oblivious to the other's stare, "And don't worry, they've all been taken care of."

"... Who?" Confusion spreads like goo over Childe's thoughts. Diluc glances at him ever so casually. "The Abyss monsters."

What? "How did you... how did you know?"

"What do you mean?" The sunlight suddenly seems blinding. Shadows hiss and flicker in their hiding spots as Diluc walks closer to the bed, looking down at him. "You're not making much sense."

"Do you know...?" Childe can feel himself breaking into a cold sweat. The dread has grown into full-blown throbbing in his chest. "Who I am?"

"You're Ajax...?"

"No!" It hurts to yell, but he can't stop himself. "Who I really am! A Delusion user? A Fatuus?!"

Diluc's eyes widen. Childe feels too exhausted to even move. He supposes dying at the hand of someone he loves isn't all that bad.

"So that's what you've been so concerned about lately. I kept asking Kaeya, but he wouldn't say anything. Wait... come to think of it, he's probably the one giving you a hard time, isn't he?"

Childe gawked at Diluc. His mind must be playing tricks on him again.

"Oh, we correspond rather frequently. Some people look a lot less punchable when you don't see them."

That's true, but.... "What?"

"I've known, honey." Diluc smiles at him, before leaning down and brushing a thumb over his temple. "Don't cry. My feelings for you haven't changed."

Childe blinks. He had no idea when the tears started to come. Diluc straightens up before reaching toward the bedside table and picking up a Vision — his own Pyro one. But he just got back from fighting Abyss monsters. If he didn't have his Vision, then how...?

"Let's just say, everybody ought to have their own secrets," Diluc muses while reattaching the crimson orb to his belt. "I've decided that I can live with yours." He looks toward Childe, a rare reservedness in his eyes. "I hope that's okay."

It feels as though the heaviest weight has been lifted off Childe's heart. As soon as he manages to sit up — with much help from Diluc, of course — he throws himself into said man's arms and mashes their lips together. He can taste salt, then metal, then air when Diluc pushes him away. "Wait, I'm kind of filthy right now."

"I don't care." Childe dives in again, absentmindedly noting that the metallic taste seems to be coming from his own stinging lip. (It must have been from the fight; Diluc is always careful about being rough with him.) He's becoming breathless, but at the same time, Childe doesn't think he's breathed this well in weeks.

"I said stop!" Diluc finally breaks free, shouting and laughing at the same time. Childe's chest throbs again, but from a much better kind of emotion. "It's just a shower! I'll be back, jeez!"

"Promise?" he asks. Diluc squeezes his hand tightly, reassuringly.

"Promise."

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i'm here to offer explanations on the setting if anyone wants it (tbh myself included 💀). if you feel like you want to interpret it yourself, or that you alr got everything, then feel free to skip this!

(also, i had a cool idea that (sort of didn't) get realized, which was to make things vague/confusing on purpose to reflect Childe's mental state. so the lack of clarity was semi intentional ig 🥲)

basically everything is rather lore-accurate, except Childe and Kaeya are both Fatui. you can think of them as Harbingers or not. but Kaeya doesn't have a Delusion (like have u seen him in the manga bruh he's strong enough w one element 😳). the only other thing is, ig, the fact that Diluc can still stand Childe (member of Fatui, Delusion user) lmaoo, but for the purposes of enjoying ChiLuc we don't think about that <3

the fic is set in Mondstadt. the training area in the 1st italicized scene is just a generic outdoor area currently in use by the Fatui (yk like in Childe's story quest they trained in the middle of nowhere lol). the 2nd italicized scene is supposedly a showdown between Kaeya & Childe (in front of other Harbingers?), since they bickered too much and it would be a good lesson to both, to stfu. ig that happens outdoors too. 3rd italicized scene takes place in the woods near Dawn Winery, which is why (1) Kaeya got Childe back to DW so quickly, (2) Diluc could make casual short trips to "take care of business". did Kaeya set Childe up? why the hell was there an Abyss Herald? Kaeya - Khaenri'ah - abyss connection? up to your interpretation :^)

that's it! whew that got long. hope u enjoyed~