It's been a week since I hit my head, therefore, a week since the spawn of Satan called me "damaged goods." I've been trying to forget those words. It hurts so much, but I'm trying to think of all the positivity I have in my life. I have my friends: Rose, Abigail, Molly, Greg, Cade, Jeff, Drew, and Ryan. I even have a cute guy's phone number on a napkin in my room. 

Have I texted him yet? No. Why not? Because I have no idea what to say. Even for the time that I wasn't homeschooled, I didn't know how to talk to boys. It's not like I had anyone to show me how. I have two older brothers, who I love, but they never liked the idea of me dating. Luckily for them, I never really had the chance. And my amazing step-mom would have been happy to help me out, but she came into my life only recently and it would be a little awkward. I do love her though. 

And then there's my dad who would have definitely scared off any boys if I were to have brought them home. My dad is my best friend. He's my rock. He tried to protect me from her. He really did, but none of us were truly safe, especially not me. She hated me the most out of everyone. I never got a real answer for why that was; but, that doesn't mean I wasn't told plenty of reasons for why I was hated.  

"You're a fat pig."

"You're a retard. Why don't you take the short bus to school?"

"You're a disgrace."

"You embarrass me. You embarrass us all."

"I wish you killed yourself when you had the chance."

I must have been sitting in my bed staring across to Rose's side because she waves her hand in my face asking if I am okay.

"Yeah, yeah, sorry, I'm fine. Just zoned out a little," I say to her trying to hide the pain I feel.

"You know, Genny, you don't always have to say you're fine. It's okay to not be fine. Now, please tell me the truth. Are you okay?" Rose says.

I look down at my feet. I can't look her in the eyes right now. I get off my bed and stand in the middle of the room. I start bawling. I can't control it. All the pain is coming back. All the terrible thoughts I had are flooding my mind. 

"Oh my gosh, Genny!" Rose runs over and hugs me. "It's okay, Genny. You can cry. I'm here." I'm crying hysterically for a couple of minutes remembering the abuse I had to experience every day. Rose grabs me a tissue from my desk and I wipe my tears. I stop crying. It feels like I ran out of tears. 

I wipe my eyes and walk away from Rose. I look at her and say, "I'm sorry." She looks at me and says in the sternest voice I've ever heard her use, "Do NOT apologize to me! There is nothing wrong with being sad. Trust me, I would know. And you don't have to tell me why if you don't want to. Just know, I'm here for you, Genny, always."

Then I run up to her and hug her again. "Thank you, Rose. And, I'm sorry, but I'm not ready to talk about it."

"What did I say about apologizing?" Rose says. I'm about to apologize for apologizing when I realize and stop myself. I then look down at the crumpled tissue in my hand and realize, it's not a tissue. It's the napkin Nate wrote his number on. 

"Shit," I say. Rose responds, "What? What is it?" I show her the napkin with the numbers no longer legible. "Oh shit. Is that? Was that?" 

"The napkin," we say in unison.  Rose says, "I'm so sorry Genny, I didn't mean to. I just grabbed it thinking it was a tissue or something. I didn't realize it was a napkin, let alone THE napkin."

"It's okay, Rose. Seriously. If it's meant to be, it'll be. Who knows? Maybe Nate and I will meet again." I hope that's true. I really wanted to get to know him. Why didn't I add his number to my phone when I had the chance? Why did I hold onto the napkin?! 

"Maybe you'll see him at the club fair!" Rose says. "I totally forgot about that!" I say. "Well, we should head to the S.U," Rose says. I actually know that she's talking about the student union. I think I'm finally getting used to the many abbreviations there are on this campus.

"The student union is where clubs sometimes host fundraisers and there are events in the ballroom, right?" I ask.

"Yep! This is the first event in the ballroom this semester. But, right after midterms, there's an actual ball!" Rose squeals.

"A ball? Seriously? We're not living in a fairy tale, Rose." She responds, "I know that, silly! But, this is one of the biggest on-campus events there is! And guess what the theme is?!"

"Is it something cliche like 'Under the Sea' or 'Starry Night'?" I ask. 

Rose laughs and says, "That depends. Do you think a masquerade is cliche?"

"Yes! It's like in the movie, 'A Cinderella Story' where dreamboat Chad Michael Murray can't recognize Hilary Duff even though all she's wearing is a mask that covers her eyes!" I say.

"Damn. You're right, but it's still going to be the best event on campus this year so we have to go!" Rose says.

"I'll go, but only because you want to. Also, I'll need to dance away the stress of midterms when they come. Rose, you have me thinking about midterms when school literally just started like a week ago!" I say.

It did not feel like it's been a week. It feels like I've gone through so many new chapters in my life in such a quick amount of time.

Rose and I are almost at the S.U. when we see Ryan.

"Hey, Ryan!" I call over before I can see who's standing next to him.

Ryan walks over and I see Josh follow him with a look of annoyance. Ryan walks up to me and puts his hand through his brown hair. He looks to the ground and then back up at Rose and me and he smiles. "Hey," he says "you look good."

"You really do," Josh says.

"Thanks, Josh. I love sarcastic comments. But, Ryan, thanks. For real," I say lightly touching his arm to show my sincereness. Josh groans and says, "Come on man. Let's go to this stupid club fair." 

Ryan says, "Genny, Rose, is that where you guys are headed too?" I nod yes, "Join us. We can look at clubs together!" Before I can respond, Josh says, "I really don't want to look at the mathlete club." 

"I hate math," I say, "But if you think it'll be such a problem looking at clubs together, why doesn't Ryan just come with us and you go by yourself? Sound good? Okay, bye," I say quickly not giving him time to respond and Ryan follows Rose and me into the S.U.

"Welcome to the club fair!" is all I hear the first few feet I enter the building. "Would you like to join the figure skating club? Would you like to join the Spanish club? Would you like to join the..."

I walk quickly around the first few tables and enter the ballroom and see snacks. I run over and grab a chocolate chip cookie. I'm looking for a napkin when someone says, "Need a napkin?"

I turn around and it's him. It's Nate!