"Genevieve Torres, Dr. Kim will see you now," a nurse says. I walk into the office and sit down. I notice there are lots of doors to other rooms. All of the offices must be connected. The doors are all closed and have different doctors' names on them. On the left side of the office is Dr. Walsh. On the right side is Dr. Taylor. I'm trying to read what their jobs are when Dr. Kim begins to speak.  

"Hi, Genevieve. It's nice to meet you. I want to apologize for this room. This isn't my typical office. My office is in a section specifically for mental health professionals. Today, we are in the connecting room for all of the physical examination rooms. Just so you know, these doors are soundproof. We can hear outside this room in case a nurse needs to come in, but no one can hear us inside of it."

"Okay. Also, you can call me Genny," I say. "So, Genny, what brought you in today?" Dr. Kim asks me. "My friend Rose encouraged me to come," I say. "Why did your friend Rose encourage you to come? What led to this decision?" she asks. "Well, I've seen a therapist for the last 3 years or so and only talking on the phone once in a while isn't helping me. I think I need to have an in-person conversation with someone about my problems. It's too much to discuss over the phone," I say. "Well, Genny, your therapist faxed over some records about your medications and mental health history. And before we get into your current life, I want to go over your past. Looking back can help us understand the present situation better," she says. 

I begin to tell her the most difficult parts of my life, "Okay. So, she began to belittle me when I was really young. She would harass me about my weight, my hair, my smile. She wanted me to be perfect," I say and can feel the tears forming. Dr. Kim interrupts and says, "Who's she?" I'm about to answer when I hear a knock. Dr. Kim excuses herself and goes to one of the 3 doors that lead to this room. She opens it and there's a nurse who apologizes for interrupting. She says she meant to get Dr. Taylor's attention. Dr. Kim lets her in and has her go to Dr. Taylor's exam room through this office. The door opens and once the nurse leaves and the door is closed, Dr. Kim apologizes for the interruption and asks again, "Who's she?"

"She is my mother. But, I was no daughter to her. I was a disgrace. She didn't show me love or compassion like a true mother would. She only showed me that she hated me and was disgusted by me. She mentally abused my 2 brothers and me. But, she treated me the worst. No one could ever understand why. But, she just despised me so much. She hated our entire family. All my dad did was try and help her and try to make us feel loved. He tried his best, but then it got worse," I say with tears in my eyes.

Dr. Kim asks, "How did it get worse, Genny?" I say, "Well, the hurtful comments turned into threats. She began to threaten to hurt me and my brothers. That's when my dad and us left. My dad got a restraining order against her, but she didn't follow it. One day I was home alone and she came over. I was gardening in the front lawn with headphones in. I didn't know anyone was there. She came over while I wasn't looking and tapped me on the shoulder. I took my headphones off and turned around. She immediately hits me in the head with a small shovel and says, 'Pumpkin, never forget that you are damaged goods. No one will ever want you. No one will ever love you.' I passed out from the physical pain, but the emotional pain hurt even more. Next thing I knew I woke up and was in the hospital getting stitches. Apparently, a neighbor saw her as she was running away from my front yard. They saw me on the ground and called 911 and my dad. I looked around the hospital room and saw my brothers and dad. My brothers looked angry. My dad looked devastated. When they realized I was awake, they all ran over and my dad grabbed my hand and held it tightly. He put his head down and started crying and apologizing. I remember him saying 'Vieve, you are the most important girl in my life. I will never let anything like this happen again. I promise you.'"

I've been crying more and more as I continue to speak. I take a deep breath to try and steady my breathing. I sit there quietly for a moment. "So you're mother called you Pumpkin and your father calls you Vieve?" Dr. Kim asks. I don't think this is important to my story, but I explain the origin of both. "She told me I could never be the princess in Cinderella because I was too fat and ugly. She said I could be the pumpkin. I've always hated that awful nickname. My dad calls me Vieve, because when I was little I wasn't able to say my full name, Genevieve. So my brothers came up with the nickname Genny and my dad suggested Vieve. No one else liked it, but I told him he could always call me that, and to this day, he does."

"We can circle back to the nicknames if you'd like to later, but please carry on with your story. I'm sorry to have interrupted," Dr. Kim says. "It's okay. So, after that day I was never left home alone. I love my brothers and dad so much, but they are so protective. The only time they weren't around was at school. So I always felt a little bit more relaxed there. I also knew I was protected by the security guards in the front of the school and my teachers, guidance counselor, and principal were aware of my mother situation. However, substitute teachers were not aware of it."

I take a deep breath and continue, "So about a month after the incident, I was sitting in the outside cafeteria area with my 2 friends, Jess and Riley, when I hear a substitute, Ms. Carrie, call my name. I had only met her a few times so I was surprised she knew my name. I stood up to see her and next to her was my mother. I began to yell 'Security!' and the whole cafeteria area began to watch me. No one knew what happened with my mother. No one knew my situation. Everyone just thought my mom and dad were divorced and she moved away. No one at school had ever met her. My friends only met my dad. I was shaking and continuously yelling for security until they came. With them came the principal who immediately recognized her from photos my dad and police had shown him. He pointed security at her and told them to call the cops. I felt relieved when she was gone, but so scared. I fell to the ground and began shaking. My friends thought I was having a seizure. But, in reality, I was having a panic attack. My first public panic attack. After that incident, my dad didn't think school was safe and at that point, I agreed. I was so anxious to go anywhere that I fell into a chronic depression. I was also suffering from extreme anxiety and having panic attacks frequently. At one point, I went up to my dad hysterical and told him I was having really bad thoughts about hurting myself. One part of my brain knew I didn't actually want to, but the other part was telling me that nothing mattered and that I should just end everything. After that, I began to see a therapist and a psychiatrist regularly and began taking medications."

I'm about to continue when Dr. Kim says, "Genny, thank you for sharing that. Let's talk about your panic attacks. Have you had one recently?" I began to tell her all about my first month of school and the repeated Harper incidents and the comments that truly hurt me and led to me having a panic attack. After I finish talking about the most recent days, Dr. Kim says our time is up. We schedule an appointment for the following Wednesday. I begin to walk out of her room when I notice Dr. Taylor's door is open a little bit. It looks empty so I ignore it and walk out of the office.