Do you ever have that day, you wake up really happy from how the night before ended, talking to your closest friends and significant lover, feeling like for once the day will bring you joy?

And then it all comes crashing down.

You get a message from someone so close to you in your heart but so far away in difference, telling you they'll be gone for four months, and asking you to get a Skype but you have no way of getting one.

You sob for an hour and a half over that one message, your heart shattering into pieces.

You feel guilty lying to people who ask if you're okay and you say you're fine, when they can clearly see your tear stained face and puffy eyes.

Your older brother making fun of you nonstop throughout the day over your music taste and sexuality.

You spend hours on your bed ignoring everyone around you blasting songs about someone dying or leaving through your headphones.

Not eating or drinking, too deep into that depressed mood where you dont wanna move unless you have to pee

Then as everything slowly slips back into a happier state, it comes crashing down all over again.

You watch the ones you love go trough all these tough times bit not being able to help them.

You can only be a bystander, crying your eyes out, begging for their safety.

This isn't why I want to live.

I want to just leave

End the pain, end everyone's suffering

Grant the wishes of everyone's pleads to go kill myself

But the only reason I dont

Are for those of you who are going through so much and need a shoulder to cry on

I stick it for you

But when the time nears

I'll be gone

And nobody will any longer have to feel the pain of having me in their lives