Partner: God I love you so much, Asshole 

Me: AWW I LOVE YOU TOO

Me: Can that be my official nickname now

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Partner: Like, if i found out my blood was explosive, and that in a few hours, if I was still alive, I would blow up and kill everyone. If I begged you to kill me, would you do it?

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Partner: That sounded either very sexual or cannibalistic

Me: WELL LET'S FIND OUT-

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Partner: Damn, now whenever I get mad at you I'm going to make cauliflower for dinner

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Me: You'd be a pretty tomato lmao

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Me: KILL ME I SAID WILLIAM EDGAR ALLAN POE- I'M SUCH A DUMBASS

Partner: DID YOU TRY TO COMBINE SHAKESPEARE AND POE?!

Me: I did- And I'm so ashamed of myself

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Partner: Fucker 

Me: Aww thank you

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Partner: So obey me, peasant 

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Partner: OH MY FUCKING GOD, HONEY, ARE YOU OKAY, ARE YOU BLEEDING, DID YOU GET A CONCUSSION!?! WAT HAPPENED?!