today was absolutely moRTIFYING DUDE

so the beginning was good, but then I get back to my middle school n see all the NJHS (national junior honor society) kids all dressed up and I was like "shit was that toDAY" so I sit next to Elise in band and go "I'm abt to fuckin kill myself, is the NJHS thing today" and she goes "yep" like fuck man we had to dress up and !!!! I was in a Lane Boy t-shirt n jeans!!!!! !!!

so I'm almost crying at this point bc I'm such a routine dog and I ask the band director if I can go to the office and call my mom n he didn't ask why (thank God) n I go to call her and I almost start crying again bc God I wasn't ready n I was one of the two people who didn't know and I was told it was tomorrow!!!!!! repeatedly!!!!!!!!!

so I suffer through a few hours before my friend (the other one w/o nice clothes) says "I saw ur clothes in the office when I stopped by" n I was like "oh thank goD" n go to get my stuff and change into it but I didn't have a tank top, nude bra, OR nice shoes so I was like "Mom come oN" and weAR MY TENNIS SHOES AND DARK GREY BRA with a white button-up n nice maxi skirt and I had my choker on with my tie like smh what was I thinking

but I was the last one into the ceremony n everyone was looking at me n I stg Haleigh looked back n laughed at me under her breath n I just covered my shoes with my skirt and suffered through it while feeling like everyone was staring @ and laughing @ me

the reception was rly fun tho!!! but they printed the 28th on the certificates for the new members. tomorrow. the day I thought it was. ?????????? hm.

so basically I spent most of the day on the verge of tears, wore a choker and a tie, and wore tennis shoes and a dark grey bra when I shouldn't have

bonus fact: there was a bag in the office with my flats, a tank top, and a nude bra. aka, what I needed. the office lady didn't tell me that was also mine. thanks, office lady.

it was so horrid honestly like smh I hated today

but I got cookies n talked with friends so I guess it's fine

the last dance is tomorrow n I'm excited but I also know that I'll just be sitting in the corner n drawing for half of it

this is from Thursday and apparently I never published it so here