Jungkook's POV

I woke up with my nails digging into my palms and Jimin's arms wrapped around me.

"Hmm-" Jimin sighed out as he pushed his body on top of mine. "Jungkook" he whispered.

"Hm?"

He opened his eyes and looked into mine. Sitting up slightly on my torso. Resting his hands on my cheeks.

"Let's wake up now"

I nodded into his palms.

I lifted his body and moved him down to my thighs as I sat myself up. He curled his  legs around my waist and pressed his head into my neck.

I looked down at my palms. My nails tinted red, blood scabbed over on the wounds, but no pain. It doesnt hurt when I do this, so there's no telling how hard I'm acting clenching my fist.

I miss Jin. He would bandage my hands. Extra too, so that I couldn't do it as easily.

Jimin got up and grabbed my hands. Pulling me up without paying attention to my palms. I began to walk behind him. Heading downstairs.

"Let's make cake" I said.

Otherwise we'd just watch movies, like we always do. Sometimes I'm tempted to ask if we can go to the backyard. I know we're allowed to, None of us ever wanted to. In all our time, we've only had medical attention brought to us. Well, aside from when Jimin hit his head. Counselor-nim took him to get stitches.

I remember once Counselor-nim asked if we ever wanted to go to the store with him, but none of us were interested. When he's gone, it gives us time to all fuck each other as intensely as we'd like. Why go out when we can stay here.

Now that there's only three of us, and Jimin and I don't even care to hide ourselves anymore- we're bored more than ever.

I heard jimin sigh.

"Let me bandage your palms and then we'll make cake, ok?" He said.

I went to go rinse them myself before I met Jimin at the dining table. He grabbed one of the many first aid kits and took out some sanitizing pads. When I gave him my palms, he carefully dabbed the pads against my nail markings. I winced a little and he looked up at me. I smiled at him softly, which made him smile back.

"Ur hands are soft Jungkook. Be gentle with them. Just as you'd be gentle with me. Treat yourself like you treat me" he said.

I looked down at my hands again. He began to wrap them.

Be gentle with them as I am with him?

He thinks I'm gentle?

Jimin is the gentle one. Not me. Jimin takes care of me. I don't think I am good enough to him. I want to be- I'll work hard to be.

I saw how Namjoon and Jin were. They were so odd. Jin was lovey, Namjoon wasn't the same. They clicked well, but nothing intimate was there. They weren't gentle with each other either.

Gentle to me being: kind gestures, soft kisses, knowing how to handle each other, and knowing what to say and when.

Namjoon sort of blew off Jin's gestures. They never kissed softly. They both never handled each other well. They were like each others trophy boyfriends. Nothing more

Taehyung and Jin were gentle. Soft pecks here and there. Routing each other on and  standing up for each other. They taught each other things and listened.

I want what Jin has with Taehyung. I want to be what they are, but with Jimin. Even if he sees me as gentle now, I want to see myself as gentle too.

How can I be gentle to myself when I don't see myself as gentle to begin with though?

Jin would tell me things and explain situations to me, but I can't see things the same way as him. I want to see and understand the way he does. If I could, I could be good to myself and to Jimin.

It's just too hard though. He is so open and kind. I'm nothing like that. I'm just Jungkook. Everyone says I'm just a brat and rude. That I'm childish.

Jin says I am childish, but it's okay because I'm young and don't know better. It isn't okay though. I want to know better. I don't want to be childish. I want to be strong. I want to take care of Jimin... of myself too.

"What kind of cake do you wanna make, Gguk?" Jimin asked.

He was done bandaging my hands.

"What do we have?" I asked.

Jimin got up and looked through the cupboards. Pulling out yellow cake and chocolate cake.

"Just these two. Counselor nim has cream cheese frosting for it too"

My birthday cake wasn't either of those. Even those snack cakes at the minimart growing up didn't say yellow or chocolate. Always vanilla.

"Chocolate sounds good. I like Chocolate everything" I said. I forced a smile on my lips.

He nodded and put the yellow cake away. I got up and went over to him. He looked around the kitchen for mixing bowls.

"Can you grab the extra ingredients for me, baby?"

I smiled to myself as I hummed in agreement.

He called me baby. He thinks I'm gentle. I want to fulfill that image he has of me. I want him to call me baby again. I crave that more than this cake.

The box says I'll need 1 cup of water, 1/2 cup of soft butter, and 3 eggs.

Jimin set the measuring cup onto the counter. I grabbed it and filled it with water. I grabbed 3 eggs from the fridge. I pecked his cheek once as he poured the mix into a bowl.

"Counselor-nim only keeps sticks of butter. One stick is half a cup. Just melt it in a bowl in the microwave and dump it it into this bowl, ok?" He looked back at me to make sure I was listening.

I nodded my head. Grabbing a stick from the fridge and unwrapping it into a bowl. Once it was melted jimin began mixing everything into the cake. Getting a pan and doing all the rest of the work for me.

I'd cleaned all the utensils and mess we'd made while it baked. Even with those dorky cleaning gloves to keep my bandages from getting wet. Jimin stood behind me while I did this. Arms wrapped around me. Standing on his tiptoes to rest his head on my shoulder. 

When I finished I pulled the gloves off. Turned around to face him. He looked at me and i leaned in to peck his lips.

I like the blush on his cheeks when i kiss him. I want to make him blush often.

The cake was finished baking after about 45 minutes. Jimin took it out of the oven and set it on the stove. His ass bending in front of me as he did so.

I smirked to myself a bit. Jimin and I are both very sexual people. However, we don't have sex as much as we did before. Since that night we said our apologies, we try to be more focused on our personalities. That doesn't mean I don't notice every little trick jimin does.

"Jungkook, we'll let it cool and then u can frost the cake" he said.

I nodded and went to the table.

"Do u think counselor-nim will let me on his phone later? I want to talk to Jin"

I haven't called Jin for a few days. I miss him. He said he's a little busy right now since he's finishing up school and trying to move to Daegu for college and Taehyung. I heard Namjoon was even helping him out with all of this.

"Hm probably. He always does." Jimin smiled. "He's got a soft spot for you. I think you're slowly stealing my spot as his favorite" He giggled over this

I rolled my eyes and brought him into a hug.

"Aish. No way. It's just because he is my actual therapist now. I see him so often and talk to him about more than what I even tell Jin. I actually like Counselor-nim, aside from him being homophobic" I admitted.

"Honestly, I wonder if he even is. It's hard to feel comfortable in a situation where you're being judged and corrected twenty-four seven, yet- I feel safe. He comforts us when we're sad. He spends his own money to gift us. He's like a grandpa, I love Counselor-nim." Jimin told me.

I nodded my head to him.

It's true. Counselor-nim really presented himself to be this gay punishing sin corrector. However, he's really just this safety blanket. None of our parents ever took care of us the way he does, and I know that as a fact. Everyone who's sent here has shitty parents. He's been more of one towards us then our biological ones will ever be. I trust him, even with the fact that I'm gay.

"Oh! The cake. I'm sure it's cooled down now-" Jimin got up and went to the cake. "Yep!"

I grabbed the jar of frosting and opened it up. Jimin handed me silicone spatula. He had one too. We both just sloppily began to spread it across the cake.

"Hey Jungkook"

I turned my head to meet eyes with Jimin. Just I did he swiped some frosting across my bottom lip. I smiled, let out a breathy laugh before i took some and bopped his nose. Licking my lips in the meantime.

"Hm- you missed some" he smiled.

"Where?" I furrowed my brows and licked my lips again.

Just then he swiped more across my lips.

"Right there, silly. Here, I'll get it"

He kissed me.