Yoongi POV

My eye's so sore. Jimin packs a harder punch than I thought he would. He's so dainty anymore, I would've never thought. I guess I prefer it over Jungkook's punch. That'd send me flying.

I riled him up, but I knew Jimin's too kind hearted to allow him to lay a finger on me. I didn't think he'd allow himself too, but I do deserved it in all honesty.

Last night I don't know what came over me. I was so jealousy crazed and angry that I just lashed out. It felt so good to get off my chest, admittedly, but I still felt pathetic and guilty afterwards.

Jimin lead me to feel pathetic and guilty. I still feel so much anger and resentment towards Jungkook. I still feel that it should be me. I still hate them together.

Currently Jungkook's downstairs having his normal counseling session. He has those right after breakfast once or twice a week.

Jimin's in his room laying down. Only one wall away from me.

The spectacle  at breakfast ran through my mind.

"I fell weirdly" I responded to a concerned Jin.

I glanced over at Jimin. His face was stained red. It was like that since he first saw me this morning, only at that point it was much brighter.

Despite his red face, he continued on normally. Eating without any sort of hesitation. Just raising his chopsticks to his lips as if Jin only asked how I was doing or something simple. As if I didn't lie for him.

"Aish, after breakfast ice it, ok? I'll make your bed, since you never do, but after I clean some dishes. You should rest and just leave it to chill for the day. If you fall asleep I'll come and bring you new ice, so don't worry about that" Jin told me.

Leave it to Jin to aid everyone, I guess.

At that time, I glanced over at Jungkook. He in fact, did hesitate when raising his chopsticks. He glanced between Jin and I before continuing on.

Jin might not like me all that much because of what happened, but he's still a friend to me. A weird and annoying friend, but a friend nonetheless.

It felt good to see Jungkook feel awkward about our interaction. I like knowing that even though he stole the guy I love, he couldn't steal the one person he looks up to most from me as well. Sure, Jin isn't close to me anymore, but he's willing to still aid me. That alone makes me happy as long as it bugs Jungkook.

"Thanks" I simply said.

That's about all that happened this morning. Last night's events were unshakeable from my mind as well. I wish this morning had been more exciting, then I could distract myself with those thoughts all day rather than me losing all my self control and Jimin putting me into place for it.

I guess that's what silence does to you though. It forces you to think about things you'd rather push away because those thoughts can't hide.

And so Jimin saying, "Who am I with? Who did I choose all by myself? If you really liked me, you'd respect my choice", replayed in my head like a broken record. There was no cord to unplug it to shut it up. No way to smash it. It was simply on loop until I repair it.

What's so annoying about those words is that they're true. Jimin's right. I understand that he's right, but I still am so damn fucking angry and jealous. At this point, If the anger and jealousy could just go away, I'd send it away in a heartbeat. If only feelings worked like that.

It's hard to just stand by and respect his choice when I literally have to live with them . I have to see Jimin with that man child every day. It hurts.

I know I should be the one Jimin loves- at least I think so? I mean, if I'd just stayed all the times he wanted me to stay, we'd be happy now, right? Instead, Jungkook would be in my situation, not me- I think.

I pushed the confusion away with ease. Retelling myself that yes, I am right.

I mean, what did I do to have to see the boy I'm in love with love somebody else? I have to see it all the damned time. Is it selfish to be unable to respect their relationship when I hear, see, and feel everything?

I heard all the arguments and all the sex before! They're toxic for each other and yet I see them flaunting their disgusting relationship in front of me. I feel like shit constantly because I know it should be me. Jimin and I wouldn't be toxic.

Maybe if Jungkook could just be a better boyfriend- or a better person in general, my heart would be a little more forgiving, but he's complete scum. I know he has issues though, so maybe I should just try to respect them.

Aish, but how? He's still just a horrible person and horrible for Jimin. I'd be so much better for him.

Shit.

But I know I owe them both apologies even if Jungkook's a bad guy. What I said was insensitive and I'm fully aware of that. I know Jungkook isn't truly slow and has legitimate problems. I know Jimin can't stop loving Jungkook just to make me happy. I wouldn't want to be with Jimin if he wasn't happy being with me anyways.

I just wish we could've been happy is all. I just wish it was me because I know it should be.

Damnit.

I'm such a mess. I can understand where I'm wrong, but I also feel so justified. Because of that, I'm at a loss. I want to apologize, but how sincere could my apology possibly be when I'm still in love with him and I don't plan on giving up?

I gritted my teeth.

And moments passed. Moments filled with this internal debate. One side filled with so much hate and the other filled with guilt.

I stood up. I paused for a moment and let my head drop down to look at my socks. I hate this whole thing. This might not even be an issue if Hoseok was here.

Hoseok...

I shook him out of my mind before any thought could even develop.

Finally, I carried myself to the door. Forcing each foot to step forward and fix everything. All while my jealousy still was eating me alive. All while my resentment towards Jungkook kept pulling me back. The part of me that felt shameful was much stronger than my hate though, so I carried on.

I made my way to Jimins room and knocked on his door. Each knock fell into sink with my heartbeat. Fast and uneven.

He opened the door. A welcoming smile on his face naturally taking place until he realized it was me standing in front of him. Once he realized, he simply frowned. Going to shut the door instantly.

"I'm sorry" I blurted out quickly.

"hm?" He questioned, opening the door back up.

"I-I know I have no right to be jealous when you were never even mine. I also know that Jungkook's not slow, so I'm sorry for saying that too. Ok? I'm sorry." I said.

Jimin stared right into my eyes. I tried to look away. I didn't want to get lost in them. I'd drown. It would hurt a million times more.

He nodded his head and crossed his arms.

"Ok, I'll accept your apology, but I think you should also apologize to Jungkook. Not just to him through me." He said.

I nodded my head and bit onto my lip.

If I apologize to Jungkook, it doesn't necessarily have to be 100% legitimate. I'm only sorry for calling him slow, I'm not sorry for loving his boyfriend more than him. However, If I apologize for everything, maybe Jimin will accept me fully again. I just need to be the bigger person about this all. Who knows, maybe Jimin will find that charming. He clearly told Jungkook to back away from me while I was acting childish. maybe this could be the beginning to my happy ending.

"But Jimin... just because I'm sorry for letting my jealousy get the best of me, doesn't mean I no longer have feelings for you. I want to make that clear." I spoke honestly.

His expression wasn't grand to begin with, but it somehow fell even more. He sighed out too.

"Yoongi, I'm in love with Jungkook. Nothing can change that." He shrugged.

If I don't acknowledge his words this time, I won't hurt so much.

"I'm going to go get some ice and then rest now. Jin should be done with the dishes soon" I said, ignoring what he just said.

He smiled sweetly and nodded his head. My heart took yet another step closer to him.

Jimin... how can you expect me to respect your choice when you're the one making me love you like I do?

—

I'm not sure about this chapter. Depending on the following chapters, this chapter might just be deleted and not a part of the story whatsoever.
Depending

Btw please read chocolate bar-bie if you're into angst and jimin center. Its jikook, but no ship in particular is of the main focus of the story