Tae POV

Last night has been on my mind all day. It's been so mind numbing and irritating to think about. It wont quit nagging at me.

He's not mine. He's not mine. He's not mine.

Constantly just messing with my head. And all while Hoseok hugged me for the last time. He whispered to me "Win over Jin. You've probably made him happier in a month than what Namjoon has in years".

My hearts been racing ever since he's said that. Ever since I watched him move on to Jimin. Ever since I couldn't ask him for further advice. Ever since I watched him turn and smile at us all one last time. Waving excitedly before turning and going forever. Ever since my entire being felt like complete shit.

Right after Hoseok left us, Namjoon claimed he was warn out for the entire day. He went upstairs. Jin asked if he could give him a massage or anything, but as usual, he said he was just too tired.

And now. Right this moment Jin and I were laid in my bed. Both exhausted from the last half hour of pure excitement. Both in the good and bad way. Our now calmed selves were cuddling up together. I stared blankly at Hoseok's side of the room. The bed without a sheet. The dresser without his belongings laid out over it. Jin stared in that general direction as well.

My mind still screamed at me as I thought of everything that's happened in just the last 24 hours. It's all completely everywhere. My mind trails off then comes back to it.

Jin said he loves me. He's not mine to love or be loved by. Hoseok's gone. Hoseok told me to win him.

I could just scream. Literally scream at the top of my lungs and beat the unliving hell out of my wall. Sadly, I've never been the type to have outbursts like that though. I couldn't manage it even if I wanted to begin that. Instead I have inner breakdowns all while looking completely sane on the outside.

"Do you think they'll end up together in the end?" I heard.

"Huh?" My attention snapped from the plain half of the room to Jin's pretty face.

"Yoongi and Hoseok. Do you think they'll end up together" he asked. He reached up and pushed my hair back. Then letting his hand slide down to my bare chest. Rubbing circles into it lightly. Just enough to relax me.

"I don't know. Hoseok has a boyfriend at home." I sighed.

And sadly thats just the truth. Hoseok will go home to his boyfriend. Yoongi will be here who knows how much longer. They're from  different parts of korea anyways.

"But look at us" Jin said. "I mean, I love you"

For a split second, I couldn't breathe. My heart skipped a beat. Whether it was good or bad- I have no clue.

"Jin I-" I had no clue what to say.

He looked at me. Batting his eyes prettily and smiling sweetly. My heart yearned for him.

"I'm tired of being your second" I sighed.

I knew this was for the best. I had to end this.

"I-I know I'm worth more than that. I think we should stop seeing each other" I finally spat it out.

The words I've been needing to say for a while. The words I should have said before I fell too deep. Before I watched him fall too deep too.

Jin's smile withered away as he sat up. Looking at me with sad eyes.

"s-so you want to end it? T-tae... please dont... i..."

"Jin what do you expect?" I cut him off. "To lie to him the rest of our lives? For me to wait around forever? Please, be realistic. One of us has to go. Besides, It should be me. You've been with namjoon for so long... we've only been seeing each other a month..."

Fuck. I love this guy. And rather than begging for him to choose me, I'm telling him to go.

I don't have it in me to force him to choose me though. I'll never have that in me. Damnit, why can't I have that in me?

My heart raced as my guy twisted. A sick feeling taking over as my breathe became unsteady. Chest rising and falling all to quickly as I watched the confused and hurt expression take over his face.

I was having an inner battle with myself all while I watched him completely lost in his thoughts and emotions.

Then he swallowed hard. Blinking his tears away and shaking his head 1,2,3 time's total.

"No." He said. His tone was serious.

"What?"

"I... I wont let you go" he decided.

I scoffed.

"Jin don't be ridiculous... we cant go on like this" I reasoned.

I kept telling myself that this is for the best. That his several year relationship with Namjoon deserves to survive much more than ours. That his loves only towards the sex and attention rather than all of me.

"I wont let you go because I choose you" he said. "I... I dont...  dont love Namjoon anymore... i-if I did... I would never of cheated"

And before I could reply, his lips met mine.

-

Oof intense.
Jk lack of
But it's ok.

Please comment and vote and all that
Its good for the soul
My soul anyways