Jimin

Yoongi just went downstairs to take his HGT. Im anxious for him. After what happened in the shower weeks ago, I'm not sure how he'll do. He went in with cum all over him, but left when I tried something. It could go either way really. I have faith that he'll pass though. Enough to be freed from this place. I think the best thing I could do for him is leave him alone from now on. He doesn't like me anyways, so it's about time I take the hint.

I wish that was my case. I know I did bad. I think I should calm down. I wouldn't act the way I do out of this house. I was a virgin then. I still am now, but I've given head more times than I can count already. Taehyung could back me up with that statement. It's just difficult when everyones doing it and I'm constantly complimented. Doesn't help that the compliments all come from cute guys too.

Even counselor nim seems to have a soft spot for me, despite him thinking im the ultimate twink. Since I'm the final person to check on he likes to talk to me for a little bit sometimes. It will hit 9 pm and he'll come into my room and make sure I don't feel too lonely since I'm forced to dorm alone. He says he thinks it'll be good for me since I'll get better faster. I kind of enjoy his company actually. He's just an old ugly man, but he's nice to me. He even takes money out of his own check to make sure my hair can stay pink! It's so sweet. 

I do get treated the harshest though when we get caught. Like once I was grounded for 2 days and had to stay in my room without leaving it. I probably cried 75% of those two days. Both days though he came in and brought me an ice cream bar. He probably just feels bad.

"Jimin" A voice called as my door opened.

It was Namjoon

"Hm?"

"You're all alone. You know we're all hanging out in Jin's bedroom right?"

I know they all do. They do it each week while someones in counseling. I sometimes go talk with them, but today I feel kind of mellow. I don't want to end up making out with various boys. I just want to draw in the little notepad counselor nim gave me. My little brother would doodle cute things in a notepad like the one i have for me when he was younger. It's comforting to have this notepad now. I feel like I'm at home. Like my little brothers in the other room hanging out with his friends and my parents are downstairs watching tv.

I wish I could get out of here... but even if I do, would they still love me the same?

-

Hi! Sorry it's taken so long to update! With all my notes being lost I've been discouraged... plus my friend and I's shipping/scenario/reaction tumblrs been booming and we have a lot of requests to do...
Also sorry this has suddenly become angsty??? It wasnt ever really meant to be but idk

Also happy birthday Yoongi!
Such a precious honey boy ☺️