Chapter 15

James had dinner at the Faye house a lot after that Monday night and Casper ended up doing the same over at the Davidson’s house too. Surprisingly the first dinner at Casper’s had not been awkward but instead nice. Wendy Faye seemed to like James, especially after he complimented her meal. Nothing pleased Wendy Faye more that getting praised for her cooking skills.

The boys spent so much time with each other over at one another’s houses James had even been acquainted with his dad who also took a liking to the boy; probably because he laughed at his many terrible, terrible jokes that had Casper groaning and covering his face with his hands which had James laugh harder.

A few weeks of dinners at Casper’s and the continuous hanging out at James’ in was inevitable that Casper didn’t end up officially meeting James’ parents as well and he was struck by how much James took from both of them: He had his dad’s crooked smile, his lean but tall frame and green eyes and he had his mother’s slender jaw and shadowing eyelashes. He noticed later, that James also shared his mother’s sense of humour and collected personality and his dad’s built up temper.

He remembered James’ sister, Maureen, mostly from when she was in sixth year when they started high school but there was a vague memory of her when he was in primary two. He remembered the fierce protectiveness given off of her from that time, always seeing if her brother was doing okay by going up to their table almost every day and giving Casper icy glares whenever he got caught lifting a hand to her precious little brother. He was kind of terrified of her but he remembered always harbouring a sort of idolised crush too. It was weird to think how attractive he had found her back then and not once had he ever saw the similarities between the two but now it was evident that Maureen was James’ double, if anything she was a female James - or James was a male Maureen but either way it worked well. Maureen, it seemed, even going through college, had still kept her keen eye, or so it seemed that every time he glanced or looked or laughed at James he would catch her looking and analysing, saying that she knew and every time it made Casper’s heart drop and his breathe hitch in fear.

He tried mostly avoiding eye contact with her at all costs.

Casper liked James’ parents. He liked them a lot. He liked the banter over the dinner table, the feeling of a whole family having dinner - usually it was just Casper and his mum as his dad was always out early – and the obvious love they carried with each other even when they were having a go at one another and the look James got on his face when he talked to his mum made Casper want to jump him right there and then but in front of his mum , and at the dinner table no less was a big no-no.

It didn’t stop him from doing it in the havens that were each other’s bedrooms though.

Most of the time the two boys were together it was just hanging out in one another’s bedrooms. Casper was surprised when he saw James’ room for the first time it was clean and simple, the walls a pale blue with matching covers on the double bed with a framed map of Middle Earth and a few band posters here at there, a mix of all kinds. Usually they just played around on the computers, or on the play station or whatever. Casper enjoyed their make out sessions the most though, he’d come much attached to the sweet mouth of James Davidson. It wasn’t just always them either, Logan seemed to be there just as much as Casper was, meaning unfortunately those favoured moments of Casper’s were kept to a minimum.

Logan didn’t only come over most days – way more that his so-called friends did at all to his house - he would also stay overnight too, even on school nights, and James seemed to be used to it, as if this was a thing that happened all the time. James said it was because he really did hate living in that big house alone. Casper didn’t mind, not even when Logan would beg to play a game and leave Casper out as they were usually two player games, Casper would just sit by James and guide him through everything ending up a team win each time and a sore loser turning off the games in a huff and going on his phone. James would just roll his eyes at Logan and kiss Casper on the head in reward for his help but in denial that he could’ve won without Casper’s help anyway.

Casper noticed more than once when being up in James’ room the very obvious shapes in the corner of his room and had wondered but not actually expected it when James one day went over to the attractive looking guitars and started playing with an acoustic as soon as he got comfortable on the bed. Casper stared in awe.

 “How did I not know this?” Casper asked, mostly to himself.

“Maybe because you are a self obsessed prick and anything else that doesn’t involve you is not important.” Logan retorted bitterly, tapping viciously into his phone with the clear sound of Candy Crush ringing out. Casper blinked at him wondering who pissed in his coffee. Logan had been getting more moody lately and mostly to Casper and he had no idea why. “We’re in a freaking band for god’s sake.”

Again, how did Casper not know this? And did Logan say we’re? As in, Logan Shaw actually having a hobby, that wasn’t getting drunk out of his mind? I mean, James he could believe (he also would not admit that, at this point, he would believe anything James said whether he was a famous ballerina or a sparkling vampire, just as long as he still got to get off with him) but Logan could not be serious.

James just played on, his red hair swaying as he nodded his head in time with the chords, sometimes stopping with a frown and turning one of the weird knobs sticking out of the top until he was satisfied with the noise that the specific string gave off and then playing off from where he stopped. Casper recognised it as the acoustic version of Underdog.

“So if James plays the guitar what do you do Logan?” Casper attempted a conversation with Logan, tearing himself away at how beautiful James was with the guitar. Logan hadn’t been as friendly with him lately, maybe because he was never there to being with and was getting in the way of James and Logan’s “bromance” but Casper had no intention of going anywhere- he wasn’t that guilty.

Still, a quiet and angry Logan was weird.

“I sing.” Logan shut down Casper. Casper stared at the boy in a shocked state, never in a million years would Casper have guess Logan could sing never mind being the singer for a band. Casper decided not to ask anything else from the oversized grumpy cat. Casper realised he’d never actually heard Logan sing and assumed that if he did it would be something close to metal scraping over metal or chalk on a chalk board. But he could be wrong.

“We’re not an actual band yet though,” James said still playing away. Apparently James could play and listen at the same time and Casper cursed himself for finding the multitasking hot – that and the whole band and guitar thing.” We haven’t actually played anywhere except at Logan’s house.”

“But we will!” Logan pointed a finger at Casper determinedly with a furrow in his brows and his lips in a thin line.”Soon we will get out of that damn house, get a gig where we’ll get a deal with some agency and become famous!”

“Yeah, of course mate ” was James’ instant reply to Logan’s back as he turned around to go back to his game but Casper saw James’ look of doubt, as they met their eyes together James shrugged and beckoned him over by patting the bed, Casper obliged willingly but not without making a show of grumbling and groaning as he got up and crossed the room and sat down next to James with a huff.

“Do you know how to play?”

“What? The guitar?” Casper asked stupidly.

“No the holophoner.” James deadpanned,” Of course the freaking guitar.”

Casper glared at James and turned away with a pout.

Casper had no idea what a... homophone? – whatever it was, but it sounded seriously weird.

He heard James sigh and shift a little on the bed.” Come here.”

He lifted his guitar carefully and placed it in Casper’s hands that automatically opened out. As soon as the instrument was placed his grip he froze. He’d seen so many people play the guitar and hold the guitar throughout his lifetime, mostly in the last four years but still he couldn’t help but feel like he was doing something wrong.

“Relax.” James chuckled.” Curl your left hand round the neck and your right arm around the curve of the body.”

Casper did as he was instructed but still felt uncomfortable, as if his limbs were jutted out in odd angles and the dip of the guitar was irritating his arm.  He hated it but instead of complaining and causing up a fit he looked up at James and saw his earnest smile and Casper stayed still waiting on the next step.

“I think a C major is the easiest way to start off,” James nodded to himself,” put your first finger on the seconded string.” Casper hesitated, peering over to see where he was putting his fingers. When he located the second string he placed his finger tip lightly over it and looked  did as he was told but without a struggle as he felt he just couldn’t get his hand around the neck of the guitar but once he achieved his hand placement he took a short breath and waited expectantly. James gave a smile, “good, now put your next finger on the fourth string on the second fret and-“

“What the fuck is a fret?” Casper exclaimed as he stared blankly at the instrument in front of him. He heard Logan snort obnoxiously from the other side of the room making Casper feel stupid and cheeks burn bright red and curl slightly inwards. James glared over at Logan heatedly, warning him to stop before turning back to Casper with reassuring eyes.

“See the metal strip on the neck? That’s a fret.” James said softly, he saw Casper take in the information and looking sort of timid, glancing between Logan and the guitar. “So where your finger is right now, it’s on the first fret and then the next metal strip indicates the next fret and that’s where you put your next finger on the space afterwards.”

Casper found it easier this time to place his middle finger on the next told string as it was already in place from his first finger, which was actually starting to hurt, like the wire was cutting through his skin.

“And then your next finger on the next fret, fifth string.” James said simply as if it were easy from this far but it wasn’t.

Casper had to adjust his hand and slide his placed fingers closer to each of their own frets to actually get his third finger that high and his hand felt awkward as hell. He got it in the end but that didn’t mean he felt any better about it. He could tell Logan was staring at him judging by the lack of annoying theme tune of that stupid game, that Casper may or may not play with an unhealthy obsession, staring at him attempting what Casper had deemed always an easy instrument to play whenever he saw videos like Asking Alexandria and Ben Bruce killing it, or Ed Sheeran who he loved despite whatever people thought he listened to all the time.

It was way harder than it looked.

“You’ve got it! Now all you need to do is strum.”

Casper did and winced inwardly, his cheeks scarlet with embarrassing failure as the strings buzzed around his left palm that he knew weren’t supposed to be lying on the strings and how he actually felt like the wire had embedded itself deep into his fingertips so he whined a little and released his fingers and was shocked at the angry red indents.

“That’s normal,” James assured, “it takes a while to get used to it but they end up toughening up.” James showed his fingertips to Casper and saw the thick, indented calluses that showed years of dedication, pertinence and talent. Casper wondered just how long James had been playing as it was obvious it wasn’t just a recent hobby. “And I did the same thing you did on my first try, you just need to lift your hand more and over time it’ll grow to fit the guitar.”

“Hands grow to fit the guitar?” Casper repeated in disbelief.

“Obviously.” Logan muttered but Casper had the feeling even he didn’t know that.

Casper decided to try again but still couldn’t quite get it and he had had enough of Logan’s snarky remarks throughout that he was just so into giving up, why was he even doing this in the first place? He’d never had the urge to play the guitar ever.

And then James was behind him, putting Casper in between his legs and settling his arms round Casper’s shoulders and putting his hands on top of his. Casper felt James’ breath in his ear and the way his nose brush Casper’s hair. Casper leaned into him and titled his head with a smile.

“I don’t think this is the most practical way to teach me.” Casper mused with a smile as he leaned his head more to the side to bare his neck.

“What are you talking about?” James kissed the tip of his ear.” I have you know this is the best way.”

Casper hummed and snuggled in closer willing to agree to anything James had to say.

“You guys are so fucking gross.” Logan spat from his corner. James stiffened beneath Casper and his face was no longer in the crook of Casper’s neck but up with a cold, pointed glare at Logan.

“If you have a problem you can leave Logan.” He hissed, his voice dipped in pure venom.

Casper held his breathe and stared at Logan with wide eyes as he flushed and looked to the ground. Casper had never heard James ever use that tone of voice to anyone never mind his best friend.

“Seriously, you’ve been a dick to Cas all day. I don’t know what your problem is but taking it out of him is not doing anyone any favours and that was the last straw.” James warned.

Casper opened his mouth to say something, anything, that Logan being in a pissy mood with him was fine; he was kinda used to it. Sure, not by Logan because usually Logan was all smiles and child-like antics of immaturity that consisted of crude humour and great, loud laughs at himself. Something was obviously bothered by Logan and Casper didn’t mind being a sort of stress ball.

And talk about hypocrisy, James was usually the one talking shit to Casper - well, was. James hadn’t been purposely mean to him in quite a while.

Casper still didn’t say anything as he felt James still staring at Logan who in turn was still gazing at the ground. It was only when there was a shift of fabrics as Logan started to rise from his place in the room and started walking towards the door did Casper elbow James with a look of alarm and indicating with his eyes to go after him. When James, the stubborn bastard he was, just sat there Casper wriggled out of his grip and went after Logan.

“Logan! Logan wait up, he didn’t mean it.” Casper called after him. He was just at the end of the hall, he couldn’t of been too eager to get out of there.

“Logan look,” Casper tried, Logan turned just at the top of the staircase.”You don’t have to leave, i don’t mind that your being a dick to me- no wait. I do mind but I can handle it. I know James didn’t mean for you to actually leave, you weren’t being that bad – actually the last comment was a little uncalled for but-“

“Casper,” Logan cut in with a sad smile.” It’s fine. I should head home anyway. I’m obviously getting in between you and James.”

Casper winced and thanked God that James’ parents were out on a night and Maureen too.

Logan turned to go back down the staircase but hesitated.

“I-I’m sorry for being a dick. I didn’t mean it.” Logan looked Casper straight in the eye for sincerity.

“I know.” Casper said simply, smiling. Logan gave another sad smile and continued with going down the stairs. Casper waited until he heard Logan make the sounds of going out the door before he let out a breath. Obviously something was bothering Logan, James had to realise that.

Speaking of James, he hadn’t left his room at all in pursuit of his friend. Asshole.

Casper quickly span around to march back and give James a piece of his mind when he clashed with something soft, black and evil.

“Holy God!” Casper screamed in a very manly way and sprang back, his heart thumping wildly in his chest.

Maureen smirked darkly, her red lips curling. “You and James, eh?”

Casper’s heart felt like it stopped altogether. Jesus god she was actually going to kill him.

“W-what do you mean? Like best friends? Because that’s what we are... yeah! Bros for life...” Casper trailed off with soft manic laughs, as if that was any more convincing.

Maureen just looked at him, eyes a colour so familiar with the look of sparkling amusement that also was a mirror of her younger brother it was almost scary.

“I thought you were going out anyway.” Casper said, desperately trying to change the subject.

Maureen wasn’t swayed though as she gave him one last look of satisfaction before answering.” I’m leaving now. Why? Doing anything particularly exciting while having the house to yourselves.” Her eyes flashed and Casper stared fish eyed and mumbling like an idiot not knowing how to react.

“Leave him alone, Maura.” James sighed from down the hall, his arms crossed and his body leaning into the doorway. Maureen pointedly looked at Casper to roll her eyes before tunring to her brother.

“I wasn’t doing anything.” Maureen replied innocently, batting her eyelashes.

“Right.”

“Well, I’m off. Toodles brother dear,” she wiggled her fingers at James and made her way around Casper. “See ya Cas.” She winked and descended the stairs.

The boys didn’t say anything until she clumped out with what Casper could guess were massive heels that could make Darla run for her money and close the door.

“So uh... I guess you sister knows about... you know...” Casper didn’t want to say something like “us” or indicate anything towards that because he didn’t know what they were yet. They’d been hanging out for weeks know and made out half that time they were together and had fun with the other that didn’t involve sexual intimacy much actually enjoying each other’s company with things like talking to one another. Just simple things that made Casper smile just before he went to bed and feel good about himself when he woke.

Plus, they hadn’t gotten that far except for the making out from that time a few weeks back. From the scare and accidental cockblock of his mum nearly catching them and the fact that it had been almost too easy to go there without preparation or thinking had given them both a reality check. They didn’t know what they were getting into, sure lust was high and they were both getting closer and closer but Casper was a complete virgin to all things except for that one time a few summers ago when Ivory Waters had drunkenly attacked him and shoved her tongue in his mouth, her boyfriend had almost killed him – but apart from that: nada, until James.

Even James, who Casper knew wasn't unfamiliar with the female body, had never been with a guy. This was a first time for both of them and it scared Casper shitless. Never in a million years had Casper thought he’s get with a guy never mind James Davidson so he was totally unprepared for what was sure to lay ahead because there was no escaping it, Casper had never felt so sexually attracted to someone, not even when he was infatuated with Darla with her millions of skimpy outfits and forever red cherry lips.  And again, it could be his inexperience, his emotions running high from being in the moment but wasn't that what life was all about? Living in the moment, to trust your own emotions and go with them even if it is a risk because you can’t live a life without regret but you never know which choices you will regret the most. Besides, he and his friends had never been one for homophobia, never questioned it and were always supportive of Hedgehog when she came out so he wasn't totally put out of being gay, or a bit gay, whatever.

Even so it was suffice to say James and Casper didn’t know jack squat about gay sex. Sure there were the basics, the obviousness but apart from that it got hazy and right now they weren’t bringing it up because there was also the fear factor of taking that step.

From thinking you were totally straight and jumping to having an unclear relationship with another guy (even the relationship was a mystery at this stage) was scary and a huge leap and both boys were not bringing it up or jinxing it. Even so they hadn't gotten as far as they did week’s back at Casper’s place and were careful not to because even though they got over it and weren't being awkward turtles just without the wild caveman instinct of not thinking while in that position.

And now Casper had bigger problems because now every time he looked at James he didn’t want to jump his bones every time he smiled at him – okay, so he did  but apart from that he was now dealing with the way his heart stammered and throbbed and Casper was starting to get all... googey and sicky with him. The images of sexed up fantasies – and just because they weren’t getting that physical did not mean Casper couldn't think of them doing so, especially in his “me times” – but was also mixed with wanted to hold hands with James and trace his them until every detail was permanently etched into his mind on his or play footsie under the dinner table or watch a movie and fucking snuggle.

Casper wasn’t dumb enough to think that it was anything but deep, deep like. He actually was getting romantically involved and feeling and it was the worst because this was not what he had in mind for first love – no, Darla did not count – and the whole looking back on teenage years. It had always involved a girl.

Like wow, James was not a girl. News flash.

That was some real shit. Casper could potentially fall in love with a guy.

Through the whole hating on James, kissing James with that stupid fucking game, fighting more with James, kissing him again, making friends and kissing more Casper had never thought that things would start getting skin deep so much so that Casper was planning out their freaking future like actually being a couple, coming out publicly and even going off to college together.

Shit, Casper didn’t even know if James was on the same boat as Casper. And by Jove, Casper gave himself a lot of hope for thinking more that things were mutual that not. Like seriously, no dude continuously makes out with another dude of mutual previous hatred and doesn’t feel less than more.

But then, Casper remembered James had just been trying to teach Casper the ways of the guitar and been seriously patient with him and then stuck up for them – to his best friend that were having a serious talk later by Casper demand – and they didn’t even know what they were yet but if James thought it was worth sticking up for then it was definitely going somewhere which means James was on the same boat: James wants to snuggle, James wants to play footsie and handsie and thinks about their future too.

Which made Casper spilt into the biggest grin.

James narrowed his eyes. “What are you smiling about you creep?”

Casper just walked up to James, still grinning, grabbed his head between his hands and yanked him down to place their lips together. There was a clank of teeth as Casper was still smiling but soon they just had lips pressed as close as they could muster before Casper broke them.

“You do realise something is up with Logan and why he’s acting like this, right?” Casper asked quizzically, his arms had somehow found their way around James’ neck and he was now hanging there like a baby sloth on his tip toes.

“I’m not the worst best friend, I knew that much.” James snorted, pressing his thumbs into Casper’s sides making him yelp slightly.

“Then why did you kick him out?”Casper asked, genuinely confused about the way James treated Logan if he knew.

James sighed again. He seemed to do that a lot with Casper, as if his intentions were obvious.” He has to know that he can’t treat people like shit when he feels like shit. I’m doing him a favour, and he needs to cool off and see that so sending him home was the best choice.”

Casper couldn’t lie when thinking that James’ strategic way of teaching his best friend a lesson was hot and that definitely made him a bad person with so many issues.

Casper didn’t really care, and showed it through taking James down on his lips again, this time they moved into the bedroom and collapsed on the bed.

“You are going to talk to him first thing tomorrow aren’t you?” Casper stated to James when he broke the kiss again. James let his head fall on the bed with a groan, his bright red hair splaying out on the black bedcovers.

“Yes.”

“Good.” Casper kissed him and again then let go again.

“And we are going the Bowl as well and meeting up with the gang.”

“Yes.” James said again, exasperated and losing the strength of his neck again and thudding back onto the mattress. Casper found it adorable.

“Good.” He said again. 

And they so were.

~~~~

What do you mean late? I would never...

okay so I did it again with the dragging on of not updating but trying to finish all projects before christmas break was horrible so I wasn't on my laptop a whole lot or wattpad for that matter and I am so very sorry. 

Also I've had the shittiest week. I lost my ipod because I am an actual child and ran through the biggest puddle ever and didn't realise my ipod had fallen out my pocket. My ipod is actually my life - it had everything on it: my story ideas, lists, all my photos, reminders, alarms. Not to mention my millions of app games (I just got onto level 14 of High School Story that morning) and my beloved wattpad app that I have a love/hate relationship with as it is the best reading app I've come across it also has it's defaults but it kept me up to date with what I am reading and I loved that. So not only was it the biggest puddle, but it was also on the road. It got run over a gazillion times and my heart is just as shattered just as it's screen was.

Her name was Ingrid and I shall miss her dearly and the three years she had given me.

Anyway, i went over this a couple of times and I'm sort of at a mix with what I feel about it...

Do you guys think the pace is fine or that I'm going off in a tangent most of the time... i don't even think there's a plot any more tbh. So please leave helpful feedback if something is irritating you or spot a plot hole or just feel like something isn't right. Thanks :)

Anyway my lovelies, here is chapter 15! I have no idea where this is going or when it shall end but hopefully it shall be wrapped up before.... let's say April next year (bc let's face it I'll take forever).

Thank you all so much for your comments last chapter, your votes and hello to all my new followers!

If I don't update before then I'll say it now: Merry Christmas one and all!!!