TWENTY THREE.   what lived and died between us haunts me still

McKenna should've known staying by Five's side the entire time was far fetched, especially when it came to The Handler. She took them into one of the case management offices and got him settled in. Then, she turned to McKenna. "Ken, come with me." She said in a sickly sweet voice.

Her eyes widened. "What?"

"You'll be working down the hall."

"McKenna stays with me." Five declared and stood from the desk he was at, his eyes shift to her.

"I'm afraid I can't do that." The Handler insisted. "McKenna needs to get back into the grove of things, don't you think?"

"No." McKenna said firmly.

"It's okay, Ken." Five said.

She looked at him again with large eyes.

"Everything will be okay," he told her, titling his head forward ever so slightly.

McKenna blinked, her heart rate increasing, and now all she felt was scared.

"Come, Kenna." Said The Handler and she put her hand on her back, ignoring the way she tensed up immediately.

As they walked out of the room, McKenna looked behind her at Five again, and he nodded at her. It's okay, he mouthed to her and sat back down.

"I've missed you so much, McKenna." The Handler said as they walked down the hallway, her hand still on her back. "I was thinking about you all the time."

"Yeah, about how you were going to have me killed?" McKenna said bitterly, keeping her eyes ahead of her.

"You know I had no choice in that, Kenna."

She finally stopped walking. "Like hell you didn't." She said harshly. "You made me a killer. I did everything you wanted and then you were going to have me killed."

The Handler was silent for a minute but then her usual fake smile spread on her lips. "I made you who you were meant to be."

I wasn't mean to be a killer. I was meant to be a girl.

The first time McKenna met Herb, she was sixteen years old. She was just a kid, a girl training to become a killer. But Herb knew a side of her that others didn't, the side of her not connected with the Commission. She was funny, she was always laughing. They told jokes, McKenna felt like he was her only friend, Herb protected her even as she grew older.

Seeing each other again was like a punch in the gut. The Handler led McKenna into the management office and Herb's face was the only familiar one to her, causing her eyes to fill with remorse.

"Herb!" The Handler called and he jumped up from the desk. Her hands were placed firmly on McKenna's shoulders, her touch making her feel sick. "You remember McKenna."

Herb's eyes widened behind his glasses. "McKenna? McKenna Barlowe?"

"Herb." McKenna squeaked out.

"Y-You," he stuttered, taking in her rather small appearance, "you look younger."

"Thanks."

"See to it that Kenna gets settled in, would you?" The Handler said, the smile still plastered on her face.

"Of course." Herb nodded rather quickly. When she left the room, he and McKenna stood face to face. "Wow, look at you. It's been—"

"Too long." She answered, lost for words. McKenna blinked multiple times. "It, uh, feels weird being back."

"I can only imagine." He led her to an empty desk at the back of the room. "W-What happened? Why are you—" Herb paused again. "—what? Sixteen again?"

"It's a long, complicated story," she told him, taking a deep breath, "and honestly, being back here makes it more complicated to tell."

McKenna hated feeling this way, like a little girl trapped in a cage impossible to escape. She wasn't a little girl. She was a woman and she was powerful but being back in the place that almost ruined her life made her feel small. The memories she fought so hard to forget came back — the voices of The Handler and the counsel deciding her death, her last night with Five, their last words to each other, right before she left. It was all wrapped up in the forsaken building.

All she could think about was Five and it almost moved her to tears. Her hands shook against the type writer. What they could have been, what their lives could have turned into with each other, haunted her still. The guilt still consumed her. Be strong, Kenna. Be strong, she told herself over and over again but McKenna only felt weak. She shouldn't have come back.

Then she thought of Diego. She had a life back in New York. He took her in, gave her a second chance to live a good life, she brought her into his family. That's when a tear slipped down her cheek.

As everyone began to leave for lunch, McKenna walked out of the office and yelped when she felt someone pull on her arm. Before she could yell, she saw that it was Five. "Oh thank god it's you." She sighed with relief.

He waited until all of the people around them were gone before he spoke, "I have a plan to get us out of here." Five whispered.

"You do?" She said, her eyes going wide. "Thank god because I'm seriously on the verge of a panic attack."

"Don't worry." His hand was still unconsciously wrapped around her arm. "I'm going to need your help."

"Always."

Before Five could continue, the familiar sound of clicking heels came their way and they both went silent. "There you two are," The Handler chimed, "I'm feeling peckish. Have you two had your lunch yet?"

"No, not yet," Five answered, trying to hide his annoyance.

"Great. How would you both like to lunch with me in my office?" She glanced at McKenna. "It'll be just like old times."

From when she was a kid all the way to her twenties, McKenna always had lunch with The Handler in her office. She didn't have friends besides Herb and Hazel was always kind to her, but she chose to eat lunch with her. McKenna avoided her eyes.

"Sounds great." Again, Five answered with a fake smile.

Walking into that office hit McKenna like a slap in the face and she was suddenly taken back all those years ago to the first time she met Five, him sitting in the same chair that he was in now. There was a pit in her stomach as she imagined his older self seeing her for the first time, his eyes so piercing blue that they had taken her aback. He was a beautiful man, she remembered thinking. Even when she couldn't stand him, when she envied his ability to become a greater assassin than she was, McKenna still thought he was handsome.

The Handler looked between them as she sucked on her pretty much empty drink. She waved her finger back and forth. "This feels familiar," she said with a smirk.

They glanced at each other, another image of their older selves in their minds, and McKenna gave him the tiniest of smiles, to which Five returned. She looked the same even if she was physically younger. Brown hair, dark, beautiful eyes, freckles, tan skin. She's still so beautiful.

"I remember thinking you two might kill each other," The Handler continued and she laughed, "I thought did I make a mistake pairing you two together? But once again, I was right. You two made the perfect team."

McKenna dug her nails into her thighs and she swallowed harshly. Her skin felt like it was going to peel off.

"Care for dessert?"

Five sat his glass of water on her desk. "I had a bad Twinkie in the apocalypse once. It kind of put me off desserts." He denied.

"Please, indulge me." She insisted and slid the bowl closer.

Ultimately, Five took two candies and handed her one. McKenna smiled and took it. She eyed the wrapped candy and cautiously opened it, placing it in her mouth. Her immediately reaction was that it tasted weird.

The Handler lit a cigarette and leaned back in her chair. "What's that taste like to you?"

Five rolled the candy around in his mouth. "The 1950s?" He guessed, being on the nose.

"Precisely right. Our clever metaphysics division concocted a way to perfectly distill an entire decade into a single candy. This one's modeled after the Fudge Mutt, America's favorite in 1955."

McKenna hummed. "I'd hate to see what the 80s taste like." She muttered and finally swallowed the candy.

Five cracked another smile.

"I think you both will be happy to know that it's the very division that is building your new bodies," The Handler brought up. "Oh, that reminds me, Five, I have something for you." She smirked again. She clicked the button on the intercom. "Carla?"

"Yes?"

"Would you bring the box in, please?"

"Certainly."

McKenna glanced at Five and he did the same, only shrugging to say he didn't know.

Carla entered the room with a large rectangular box. She placed it on the desk and left quickly. McKenna and Five stood up and she eyed the box suspiciously.

"Go ahead. Open it." The Handler insisted.

Five's eyes cut to McKenna again and she nodded slightly. He opened the box and they both looked inside, seeing that it was clothes.

"Clothes make the man, Five. Won't it be nice when you can actually wear it? Very soon. I assure you. They're perfecting your body as we speak."

"Thank you." Five told her timidly, his face stoic. "It's a very kind gift."

McKenna remembered the clothes he always used to wear. Five liked to dress nice, always in suits or button up shirts, nice pants and shoes. He liked to appear sophisticated. But McKenna always loved the things he wore out of work. He loved sweaters, mostly always browns or cream colors, and he was fond of his house shoes. He wore glasses at night which McKenna always loved and would steal from him. At work, he was Five Hargreeves, master assassin, but at home he was Five Hargreeves, a man who always wanted to dance with her.

"Kenna?" His voice broke her out of her deep thoughts and McKenna flinched, seeing eyes on her. "Are you okay?" Five asked her, looking concerned.

"Fine. I'm fine." She said very quickly and cleared her throat. "What?"

"Dot and I need a moment alone to discuss some things, Kenna. You don't mind, right?" The Handler asked.

McKenna saw Dot standing at the office door. "Course not." She shook her head.

Five grabbed her hand and led her out of the office. When they were in the hallway, he watched her lean her back against the wall and take a breath. He stood in front of her. "You're worrying me." He spoke truthfully.

"You should be in my head," she attempted to joke and she touched her very warm forehead. He didn't laugh. "I'm sorry. It's just being here is so much. It's hard to take in."

"I understand," Five said and nodded. He took another step closer to her. "I need you with me, Ken. This plan will work. You just gotta be with me. Are you?"

It was a no brainer. "Always." McKenna answered without hesitation and their eyes locked once again. His eyes held all of her greatest memories. She thought about it all again. New clothes, new bodies, and McKenna wondered if they would be able to get it all back; what she left behind, everything that they once had, if they could go back to the people they used to be.

your honor they deserve to go back to the days where they were dancing in her kitchen