2021. may 30th. 00:00 am.

choi yeonjun, writing to you.

It's been a few days, my love.

You have finally given me a chance, and I thank you for that, especially when the past still somewhat hurts you as much as it did for me. Beomgyu told me to write you a letter, a forsaken one that you may never find nor read. I knew he had one too, and asking for it, I read everything he wanted to tell you.

I... agree. I was pretty bad. Starting from the beginning, I always had my eyes on you, Yihwa. It was the first time someone had become so interested in the curly-haired brunette. I knew something was special about you ever since the day you persisted in dating him. Was it his looks? Was it his personality? I still don't have the guts to ask you about these things. You still scare me as much as you did in junior year, but this time, for different reasons.

I fear that I may lose you again, maybe not to Beomgyu, but to your inner feelings that may collide with mine. Beomgyu has always been right. I've... liked you ever since the day we met. Of course, it took me years to realize my true feelings for you, but ever since the day you sacrificed yourself for your freshman cake... there was something about you, Yihwa, that I could never quite understand.

Your determination grew for many years and seeing you again now, in all your beauty, I'm proud of you. I didn't know what I'd expect the day Yena told me that your hair was down for the first time in seven years. I just knew you'd be beautiful, and I'd fall for you all over again.

It's true, and though you may never reach Beomgyu nor my notes, I tried to steal you from Beomgyu. Of course, I realized my faults after the fight, after telling him not to try to hurt you again. I knew I was horrible. If my determination had kept its all-time high, I wouldn't have tried to create some distance between us. I was the villain, I've known it even when I desperately tried to keep you by my side.

However, that's why I also let you go.

It's good knowing that Beomgyu wanted me to go after you later on in life because now, we're dating. I want to treat you right, especially after all the mistakes we've made in the past. As we date and discover the mentality as we grow, I can't help but feel sad for Beomgyu. He's still not over you, and he doesn't look like he ever will be for a while.

Yena has helped him a few times without your knowledge. She's told me of all the times she and Taehyun, back in 2020, would drive him to therapy. I had this one conversation with her when she came to pick him up, and I was there.

"Oh hello, Yeonjun," She tells me, almost as if she was surprised to see me next to Beomgyu. "Are you going to therapy too?"

I laugh, shaking my head at your best friend's smirk. "No, I'm not. How have you been? How's Yihwa, too?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" She questions, crossing her arms. "She's been... alright, I presume. Her cold persona grows each day, and I always do my best to talk to her. All she needs is a heater to warm her icy heart."

That day, I knew she was hinting at me to do something. She was the all-knowing Yena for a reason. She knew the past, the present, and somewhat, the future. Beomgyu was the same, however, in the aspect that he'd sacrifice his heart for yours.

After reading his letter, I still have no idea why he'd do such a selfless thing. Yes, it's certainly love, but to hold onto that suffering even by the smallest chain... only Beomgyu could do such a thing for someone. Though he is a goofball, he's still the sweetest boy I know.

He recorded several dates for you to remember, for him too, to remember all the days you both fell in love. It took me several days to understand, but those were the days he loved you the most. Though he won't admit it, I can tell whenever he looks at the letter... that his days with you were the happiest he's ever been.

Yihwa, at one point, I wanted to tell you that you deserved nothing. I agree with Beomgyu. A long time ago, you used to take things for granted. You'd manipulate, blame, and hurt. However, I guess that's why people call it foolish love, puppy love-

because you're too young to understand what love truly is.

Before I went to go see you in the garden (knowing that Beomgyu and you would meet), the almighty Soobin came to see me. He told me that you were going to go, and I almost rushed over there with immense fear. However, he caught me that day, telling me to slow down and let you both talk.

"Why don't you let the exes talk, hyung?" He questions, chuckling at me as if it was too obvious for even my intellectual mind to understand. "Don't you think they'll have something to say to each other?"

"Over my dead body, as if I'd let it even occur," I say, trying to pull my arm from his grasp. "Stop it, Soobin. I have to save her from making another mistake-"

"She's older and mature. She knows what decision to make, trust me, hyung," Soobin laughs, letting go of me and leaning against the railings of the outer circle of our aging school. "It's nice to wonder what would happen if it was surely the saying "right person, wrong time." Don't you ever think what may have happened if they just waited a little longer?"

I didn't know what to say. Soobin knew me too well. "If you want to chase after Yihwa and "stop" her from making mistakes, be our guest," He sighs, playing with something in his hands. "Just know... that Yihwa has finally started to love who she's become. I don't think a past will simply change fate so quickly."

Soobin knew you better than I did, and I hung out with you more. He's smart, as always... but I also think that Soobin loves you just as much as I do. There are moments where I think he's romantically involved with you, and if not for his colliding feelings, I feel as if he would've done the same thing I did.

It's interesting, right? Seeing all the different perspectives of people you thought you knew.

Kai has been waiting to see this moment in front of his eyes. After I told him we were dating, he was exhilarated, but he, too, pitied Beomgyu. Kai told me how he saw you again, and how pretty you became. Not from your looks, but your personality. I often found myself seeking his advice, even when he's not much younger than me. When we were younger, he was the first one I went to when I couldn't be with you any longer. He told me that it was only right to be this way, and soon, that things would change drastically. Seemingly, they did.

Taehyun's been keeping up with Yena. Like the all-knowing fanatic, he, too, became one. You may not be surprised, but Taehyun's known everything Beomgyu felt. He's told him from start to finish about his complication of feelings, and how on other days, he wanted to leave you as well. However, a deed was made, created by Beomgyu. Taehyun was forced not to tell you a single word, just so that Beomgyu could try to make you happy, to be the perfect person. However, with miscommunication came mistakes. The deed was soon voided, and they had created some distance while waiting for the day things may change.

Soobin has been someone who silently observes. There's not much from him, but he's wiser than you may believe. Even with nobody telling him anything, he knew the growing chaos before anyone else did. He was your warning sign but soon dimmed because he knew you wouldn't listen. The same thing happened with Beomgyu, too. Soobin warned him after we talked in Jeju that things would not change between you both, but your undying love kept you both together. If not for Soobin and me, I think you both would've still been dating.

Beomgyu's loved you every single day. His love for you continues to grow, now that your confidence has grown and he's seen you again. He's cried more these days. I think it's because of you, and I can't help but pity him slightly. I know how much his care for you has turned into blatant misunderstandings because things never go his way. Beomgyu's wished countless days back at the beginning of college that you'd come back to him, but it never prevailed. His love for you was somewhat like one in Shakespeare- one irreversible and indescribable.

Then there's me, Yihwa. Initially, I wasn't going to love you again. However, as time passed, our hearts intertwined due to past circumstances. I can't help but love you, even if I am your second lead. I'm happy next to you, even if you consider me your side piece.

My letter may not be as long as Beomgyu's, nor as fruitful and sweet, but I can admit that we both love you eternally. Though one may not have your heart and the other may, just know that we will never forget you (especially Beomgyu.) It's not my place to think of you so sad, but I can't help but sympathize with Beomgyu sometimes.

I often think that I should unusually be envious of your previous relationship. Sometimes, I am, knowing that our relationship could never be that ecstatic and playful. Yet, I smile because who knows, maybe it'll be better. Of course, ours is just starting, so who knows what's there to come? You're my butterfly, and most don't stray far from home. Though you're indecisive, I know there's always a place you'll come back to. Hopefully, it's me.

So, Yihwa, don't fly too far. Though there are other cages for you, I hope you're the one for me.

Though the heart may experience despair, heartbreak, an immense amount of uncontrollable feelings, I will always be there to hold your heart and make it better. That's what you deserve... now that things have changed.

I love you, always and forever.

Choi Yeonjun.

Signing my name on a letter that shall never be sent, I copy Beomgyu by placing it in an envelope. I shelter it away from sunlight, and most importantly, from my girlfriend, Yihwa. I could hear her loud sipping of banana milk from the end of the hallway, the girl entering as she blinks. "Hey, Jun-nie. Whatcha' look all nervous for? Are you trying to commit adultery or something?"

"Absolutely not," I reply, rolling my eyes. She was always so foolish, it made me laugh. I pull her closer by her waist, her forearms laying on my shoulder. Her long hair tickled my wrists as I drag my hands upwards, pulling her down to sit on my lap. "Hey, Yihwa- do you ever wonder how Beomgyu is feeling?"

"Hm... why do you ask?" She questions, knitting her eyebrows together. "Want to send me back to him?"

"Not at all," I don't hesitate, which causes her to laugh. "I just... haven't seen him since graduation. I wonder how he's feeling."

"I saw him at our reunion, actually." I knew it.

"Oh, and how did that go?"

"He... looked different, possibly even better than the last time I saw him," She crosses her arms, trying to recall his figure. "Though I don't know of his personality, I wish to talk to him before the day I die- one last time. I want to ask him... what was beyond the center of the garden that we never got to see together."

"I'll take you back there one day," I say, causing her to turn to me. "If you're so interested, we could even renovate it."

"Funny, Mr. Choi, but I'm the architect here, not you," She rolls her eyes, causing me to frown. "But you know what you're good at besides medicine?"

"What?"

"Being Yang Yihwa's boyfriend," She says, leaning forward and kissing my lips. I can't help but smile at her harmonious tone, the happiness living inside of her. If she's happy, I'm happy. "Ah. I love you, Choi Yeonjun."

"Are you just now realizing?"

"Hey! Stop teasing me, idiot!"

I laugh. She's so cute. My little butterfly. "You're so adorable. I love you too."

Grabbing her banana milk from her hands, I set it on the desk beside us. She knits her eyebrows as I set her properly, turning her towards me. Softly grabbing her chin, she already gets the memo, leaning in as she wraps her arms around my neck- sealing the cherished secrets with a kiss.

There's not much she's told me, which means there are lots for me to discover about the love of my life while we're together.

But what's love without a few secrets, hm?

Adeu, to all people who may find themselves trapped in a relationship that is suffocating, upsetting- trust me, like my girlfriend here, you will escape. The light at the end of the hallway will reach you soon... Love is a foolish game, but it will always prosper! Goodnight...

...and goodbye!