"I KNEW IT WAS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE."

JUNE 10, 2015 — 19:20 PM

"Settle who's picking each room—because I couldn't care less," Being the cool university student Yeonjun was, he splattered the room cards against the coffee table, all of us sitting as if we were in the mafia—a leg crossed over the other, an elbow on the armrest, a raised eyebrow. 

"The couple will have to sleep together, won't they?" Beomgyu smirked, digging in for the first pair of cards. Everyone rolled their eyes, including me. "I don't want to hear it. I don't want to have any of you peeking at my girlfriend's naked body if she roomed with you guys."

"It's not like you get the privilege either, sophomore," I hissed, hitting him upside the head. He frowned, rubbing the area I had hit him. Taking one of the cards from him, I sat back. "I'll just room with him so he doesn't cause a storm in any other room."

"Yihwa!~" He whined, obviously hating the impression I gave him. "I'm not that bad, I just don't want any of them rooming with you, especially Taehyun."

"I didn't want to room with her anyways, hyung," Taehyun scoffed in disbelief, grabbing another pair of cards. "The only reason being is because of you. To be honest, you are the barrier stopping us from rooming with her. We aren't creeps who look at women like that, you're just assuming we will."

"Doesn't everyone?"

"No," They all panned, leaving Beomgyu (who was still a jealous wreck) dumbfounded. "Anyway," Taehyun cleared his throat, immediately passing the other card to Kai, who paid no attention. "Let's room together. I'm scared of Soobin hyung and Yeonjun hyung—they're crazy."

"We are not that bad," Soobin and Yeonjun synchronized, soon looking at each other. Soobin sighed in frustration, grabbing the last pair of cards. "It seems we are rooming together, hyung. Are you ready?"

"No," Yeonjun immediately declined, scrunching up his nose. "Mistakes were made...I should've booked eight separate rooms—but gosh, the money..."

"Well, mistakes are made, it's in the past," I patted Yeonjun's back, groaning as I stood up. "Don't forget to borrow a car for the week, you're going to be driving."

"As always, it seems," Yeonjun flicked me from behind, my head instantly turning. "Don't hurt me! Beomgyu, get your girlfriend!"

"You hit her first, equal rights," Beomgyu shrugged, standing up as well. I smirked before punching Yeonjun in the shoulder, the boy falling back dramatically against the couch in pain. He hissed, crying to himself as Soobin rolled his eyes. "What a crybaby."

"Agreed," Soobin said softly, grossed out from his older friend's stupid acts. "Get up, hyung."

"Fine, fine," Yeonjun immediately stopped sulking, standing up before pulling my ponytail slightly. "She's my prisoner now until she pays for that punch."

"Noooo~" I sulked, feeling my ponytail get yanked around from behind me. I tried to grab Yeonjun's hand, but he kept switching hands. Another person grabbed my ponytail, almost yanking it so hard that the hair strands could've come out. I hissed, feeling a retracting of a hand before I fell right into someone's chest.

"She's my prisoner, love-wise and until she pays for the damage she did to my heart from her cuteness," Beomgyu said, raking back my hair with his fingers. Yeonjun gagged, Soobin grossed out from the scene. "You can't have her!"

"We don't want her, for fuck's sake!" Soobin blinked rapidly, pointing at me. "Just keep her, my god..."

"Anyway, we're going somewhere for the night, so if you guys have plans, exclude us," Beomgyu added proudly, causing me to face him. Pointing at the both of us, I tilted my head.

"We... are?"

"Yes, we are," He nodded, yanking me slightly. "Bye, guys! See you tomorrow or tonight—if we somehow meet each other."

"Okay, bye!" Yeonjun waved, smiling at us. "I'll go get that borrowed car out for us. I'll be back, so stay here!"

"Kay!" I heard Soobin yell from afar.

Beomgyu pulled me away so I couldn't see the four boys conversing, both of us heading outside. He apparently had borrowed a scooter ahead of time, wanting to show me something not far from here. So, as the person had permitted us to use his scooter, we hopped on, put on our safety helmets, and rode out into the night.

As we rode along, I left my head on his back, watching the running street. My arms wrapped around him as if I was floating, holding on for dear life so I wouldn't fall. It's not like he went too fast, but it was a speed that was stable enough that if you fell, you'd get hurt. Luckily, his hands sometimes would give me reassuring taps, making sure I was still okay.

"I heard from the people on the ferry that this was one of the best spots!" He yelled out, causing me to perk up. "You apparently have the view of the water and the moon on the horizon."

"Oh, really?!" I yelled back, wincing at my volume. "Sounds pretty! Are we almost there?"

"Yeah, we are... here..." His words slowed down as his speed did, soon making a full spot. Parking the scooter, he turned off the engine, both of us jumping off as we pushed it up the sidewalk—you know, to avoid any incoming cars. We did not want to pay for the damages of this cute scooter. He helped me take off my helmet, soon taking off his. "Alright, we're here! Turn around, I think you'll enjoy it."

So, obliging by his words, I spun around, almost gasping at the beautiful view. On the horizon line was the rising moon, the light reflecting off the calm waves. Below was a mountain of flowers, some of every kind that almost lit up with the moon. I covered my mouth as it was dropped, the view almost causing me to cry (or making it was Beomgyu's slight act of love.)

I felt Beomgyu's arms wrap around my stomach, clasping together as his face is stuffed inside the crook of my neck. I lifted my arm to entangle my fingers in his hair, a soft hum of approval leaving Beomgyu's mouth as he kissed the spot of skin. Soon putting his chin on it, I felt his smile. "I love you, Yihwa."

"I love you too, Beomgyu." There was no doubt about it.

"While we're here..." He trailed off, using his calm hands to spin me around. I faced him, looking up to see his face lit up by moonlight. "... Can we talk about what happened?"

I gulped, my eyes were barely able to keep my sight on him now that he's mentioning what happened. "You know... on Valentine's..." He bit his lower lip, his hands lifting my face. "And also when I was unconscious. I want to know everything." So, I thought it might be best to tell him, it was inevitable. Yet, I couldn't tell him about my suicide attempts. Never.

So, leaning on the railing, he joined me. "Well, uh..." I laughed awkwardly, looking down at my feet. "First of all, I'm sorry for...you know, um...telling you to die. It was not my intention, at all. I told you I'd say something I'd regret, and...and it kind of just came out, you know? I didn't think ahead about it, and—"

"I know, and it's okay," His touch relaxed me, allowing me to exhale the weight I felt. "I forgive you for that. I wouldn't let you feel bad about angry words you can't control. We've all done it before."

"Yeah," I sighed, inhaling soon after. "Anyway, when you got hit by the car, I stayed with you the whole time. I didn't go to classes for a while until your friends had come and told me that everything would be okay, that you wouldn't die. Even the doctors had to tell me that I could leave, that you'd be alright—but I felt if I slept even a minute, one day, you'd leave my eyes without telling me, and I'd feel guilty for the rest of my life."

He continued to listen, my hands starting to shake as I intertwined them together in front of me. "When you woke up, I was ecstatic—however, I knew I owed you so, so, fucking much. I couldn't even touch you because I thought that if I did, you'd break," I whispered, barely audible. "When you asked me to be the one to take care of you in that wheelchair, I was scared. I felt that we'd have this kind of conversation too soon, and I'd feel pressured by the control again—however, I was wrong. You respected my boundaries despite me barely able to look you in the eyes, and I appreciate that."

I gulped, licking my lips. I felt dry, I felt wrong. "I made sure that your birthday was nice because I didn't want to mess up again. I spent ages thinking that I did so much wrong—and it took me all of your friends to realize that you had forgiven me completely. I'm still so fucking sorry until this day, and I don't know how I could ever repay you," I whispered, smiling to myself. "But you still showed me unconditional love, while I wasn't the victim of the damage. I love you so much for that—and I'm sorry for ever arguing with you in the first place."

"It's okay, love," He wrapped his arms around me, the tears ready to come out and make their appearance again. "How about you? What did you do for your birthday? You never told me."

Fuck.

"I was, um..." I gulped, scratching my head. "You know, just hanging out with a few friends."

"You should've told me!" He frowned, pinching my cheeks. "I would've come to hang out with you. When was it again?"

 "May 12th."

"Right!" He giggled, leaving my embrace. "So, who did you hang out with?"

"Oh! Uh..." Excuses, excuses. "Taehyun."

"Huh?" He questioned, tapping his lip. "But... Taehyun told me that he was studying at the library that day..."

"I think it was Soobin, actually, sorry—"

"But he was out with Kai..." Beomgyu trailed off—and I knew I've been caught red-handed. "Did you... hang out with Yeonjun hyung by yourself?"

"I—"

"And the day you went to get the lighter fixed..." He trailed off, connecting the dots. I was so fucking screwed. "You said someone drove you home... was that Yeonjun hyung also? Not Soobin hyung or anyone else??"

I pressed my lips together, closing my eyes as my head immediately fell. I kept silent, and suddenly, Yeonjun's words had spiraled back to me.

Yeonjun furrowed his eyebrows, pulling the sleeves of his turtleneck up his elbows. "So I don't know what you're afraid about. Just know if he does start an argument with you... that he'll use your silence to his—"

"I know, but I still don't want to hurt him anymore," I smiled sadly, looking out at the city lights. "I don't want to hurt anyone...anymore."

I heard his scoff of disbelief, the boy stepping away. "Wow—even that day when I called you about the trip when you didn't answer quick enough and I heard shuffling and loud sounds in the background, you were with him!?" He almost yelled with his flaming eyes. I'd be surprised if the veins didn't pop out of his neck. "Do the rest of them know too that you've been hanging out behind my fucking back like you and hyung are dating?!"

"No, no!" I didn't want to blame them, a tear already escaping my eye. "They didn't know, nobody knew. We aren't having an affair either, Beomgyu. I promise you, we—"

"You guys what, Yihwa," He scoffed in disbelief, losing his mind. "That you guys are fucking talking behind my back, having fun, and celebrating things behind my back while I'm worried about where you are?! Are you sure you're not cheating on me, fucking him behind stage?!"

"That's not it, Beomgyu! Please, listen—"

"I don't want to fucking listen," He scoffed, shaking his head. "I told you to stay away from hyung. I told you not to get all comfortable with my friends, especially him of all people. He's graduated already, are you trying to get with a fucking college student?!"

"I promise you, we aren't dating, please," I was desperate at this point. I didn't want this to happen. "Please, let me explain things. I just needed... I—" I was choking on my tears, trying to reach out to him. However, contrary to my belief, he pushed my shoulders harshly and I lost my foothold, falling to the floor as I scraped the palm of my hands trying to protect myself. My ankle hurts, my knees also scraped just like before—as if the previous scarring was never there.

"You can't even defend yourself, how weak," He looked as horrifying as he did at this moment, my eyes full of fear as he towered over me. "You know what, if you want to repay me for telling me to kill myself—"

He paused, his fists clenched as he slowly backed away. "Then never fucking talk to me again. You bitch."

I gulped, hiccuping slightly as I covered my mouth. His glare doesn't leave me until he hopped back on the scooter, putting on his helmet and leaving me in a place that I have no direction of. However, just like the normal clockwork, it started to rain. I guess even the sky was crying for me too. I expected this, I knew this would happen.

Just why wasn't I prepared?

Fuck, I really didn't mean for it to play out like this. I hugged my knees to protect myself, covering my crying eyes in my arms to become a defensive ball—to become little and to never exist. I sat on the curb, hearing nothing but silence around me. The rain had comforted me enough, slipping through the cracks in my arms to allow me to cry freely without humiliation. Even the gods pitied me, but I still couldn't muster up the courage to apologize.

I heard the revving of a car engine—but as it came close, it suddenly stopped. I don't want to get kidnapped, go away.

Wait actually, maybe I did. Maybe I could escape it all. However, as the door opened and closed, footsteps frantic as they showed up in front of me, I heard a soft, dissatisfied sigh.

"Yihwa," His voice was soft, fragile like silk, almost as if we were pitying me through his voice. So, I faced him, looking up as the tears continued to stream down my face. Yeonjun was already staring down at me, his usual spiky hair being tainted by the falling rain. He sighed once more, looking around before he faced down at me again. 

And for the first time, someone offered their hand. His kind, generous hand meant more than it showed, just like his words. "You need to tell me, Yihwa."

I sniffled, moving my stare between his kind hand and his moonlit face. "What?"

"Tell me you want to make it stop, Yang Yihwa," He hushed, his voice croaking as it was barely audible. "Tell me you want to leave him..."

With one last stare, he moved his hand towards me. 

"And I'll do it for you."