"IT WAS ALL IN MY HEAD."

JUNE 2, 2017 — 4:32 AM

I swung the baseball bat, removing my mind from all the bullshit I'm putting myself through. Since graduation is two days away for the seniors, I've been nonstop preparing for what I wore. Prom... well, that was yesterday. I didn't know how prepared I was, considering that I rarely wore dresses.

Beomgyu being the boyfriend title he is, asked me to be his prom date—and trying to collect my feelings and what I felt, I said yes. As tiring as it sounded, when I told Yena, she made me go on a shopping spree, trying to find me the perfect prom dress. She decided on something royal blue, and I didn't mind it. The photos turned out really nice, too.

Nothing bad happened nor did Beomgyu make any advances, so you can save it for the thoughts. I, too, would like to shove it to the back of my brain. It wasn't the best "prom" experience that I once dreamed of when I was a freshman, but I'll take what I can get.

However, graduation was right around the corner, like I said. That meant I'd see Yeonjun and Soobin again, considering that they'd be there to support Beomgyu. My parents... they've never come to any of my graduations, so I have the least of expectations. If anything, seeing Ms. Kang, Mr. Jung, Soobin, and Yeonjun there, they'd fill in the spots.

I thought it would piss me off more now than dad has admitted the truth, but truth be told, I wasn't mad at all. I guessed my expectations would completely tear me apart, but I didn't mind. All that pain from Beomgyu really got me to feel no other pain. That's interesting.

"You're here?" I questioned, causing Taehyun to flinch. I saw him in the reflection of the baseball machine, tip-toeing towards me before he sighed in defeat. "I thought you enjoyed your beauty sleep. Why are you here so suddenly—especially at five AM?"

"Well, I had a gut feeling that I should be here—I guess it's because of you," He shoved his hands in his hoodie, allowing me to hit one more ball before he came in. I guessed he didn't want to stress out his arms at five in the morning since he held nothing but himself. "Why are you here, too? You stayed out late yesterday—and it's been like... six hours since prom ended. Aren't you tired?"

"Nope, I have too much on my mind," I whispered, my eyes weary. "Well, I am tired, but I don't find myself eased enough to sleep. Maybe it's because I danced with Beomgyu yesterday, maybe it's because I saw my father not too long ago—and maybe because Yeonjun and Soobin replay in my head like a coo-coo clock. I'm just... never left alone by guys, it seems."

"Maybe it's a good thing—maybe it's just showing you how aware you are," He shrugged, leaning against the fence. "Sorry to hear about your dad, though. I know how weary you are of your parents, especially your dad. What happened? Did he like... scold you or something?"

"He's not that type of parent, he's more of a silent parent," I shrugged, hitting another ball. "He admitted the truth about him and my mom—saying that they never take me on vacations nor do they pay attention to me. I guess they only cared about who I was when I was younger, and let me grow up by myself. I owe nothing to them in the future, at least. Good for them that they're happy."

"You're not... mad at them?" Taehyun asked, tilting his head. "You know, for not being good parents or being a part of your childhood?"

"Why should I be upset? Well, okay, I understand why I should—but I won't," I continued to swing, even as the ball was louder than my voice. "They wanted to take themselves out of my life. I want to be a better person, to be the better person—and if that means to forgive and forget my parents, then I'll do it."

"Wow, Yihwa," He clapped slowly, causing me to pause my hitting. "Never in a million years would I hear the Yang Yihwa say something so wise. I guess you are really sick of the toxicity."

"I don't lie unless it's for good causes, Taehyun," I said, chuckling. "Oh, I forgot to tell you—I'm going to Seoul National on a scholarship."

"That sounds great! Congrats!" He laughed, clapping for me as I grinned. "Say, didn't you also apply to Yonsei? Did you get accepted?"

"Yeah, but like I said—Yonsei is the last place I want to be," I whispered, Taehyun nodding. "How about you? Did you get accepted into Yonsei?"

"Yeah, I did, but I also applied to Hanyang," He shrugged, crossing his arms. "I'm trying to decide whether to go with Soobin hyung or with Beomgyu and Yeonjun hyung. Want to help influence my choices?"

"Nope—but you said Beomgyu was going to Yonsei?" I questioned, causing Taehyun to nod. "Oh, so he got accepted by the committee?"

"Yeah, on a scholarship, too—like you did with Seoul National," He chuckled, causing me to do the same. "I guess it's fate that you guys may share the same qualities, but not the same fate. Soulmates were a bit of stretch, maybe."

"Soulmates were farther than just a stretch, Taehyun—maybe a lie instead," I sighed, looking down at the floor. "But, I'll never regret dating Beomgyu."

"Ooh, why's that?"

"Because, he taught me so much about myself that even I, myself, didn't know. He influenced me to be a better person at one point, even though I was once influenced to my worst state," I shrugged, sighing. "It's better to think of him as my... first love, you know? Not the boy who tore me to pieces on "accident" or as the boy who changed me into different versions of myself. He still deserved a pretty title... even when our love was the opposite of it."

Taehyun stood silent, both of us looking down. Sighing, I checked the time. "It's pretty early, and we have school in a few hours. Should we go get some sleep?"

"Probably," Taehyun shrugged, his eyes lighting up in excitement as he beckoned to the car keys in his hands. "Here, I'll drive you home."

"Doesn't sound safe."

"I'm not that bad, okay?"

"...whatever you say..."

"Since graduation is coming, we need to plan things for our classroom, aka—the freshman classroom awards!" Everyone cheered, standing up as Ms. Kang held up roles in her hands. "Please pick your roles, and from there, I will choose leaders. Make sure to pitch in, or else you won't be getting anything this year from me!"

"Yes, Ms. Kang!" They all cheered, picking from the small basket. Yena, Taehyun, and I all watched from behind, laughing as the kids beamed from the jobs they got. "I get to decorate the cake!" One exclaimed across the classroom. "I get to decorate the room! Cool!" Another said.

"I remember when we didn't have to pick out of baskets—Yihwa was the leader of everything before teams were invented," Taehyun chuckled, causing Yena to nod. "She sacrificed her back for that cake and still got yelled at by her own boyfriend for getting herself hurt. That'll be a memory I'd hate to forget."

"But it's a memory you will forget—because I'll make you," I chuckled, rubbing my temples as Yena laughed. "I hated that memory so much. I put my back into decorating that cake after you spelled happy wrong, yet I got hit with a bat and got yelled at by my first love. I need to forget that ASAP."

"Don't forget when she got hit in the head with a ball by the other team and Beomgyu absolutely beat the shit out of the opponent," Yena pointed at Taehyun, Taehyun laughing as he remembered. "That was absolute hellfire! I swear, that Beomgyu... he seriously has problems with his jealousy."

"Don't forget when she didn't shower for three days straight because of him!"

"Right! Oh, and—don't forget when she and Yeonjun got all cozy, all for him to get brother-zoned!"

"Poor hyung, and don't forget when she had to room with Beomgyu hyung on the last day because he was still jealous!"

"Right! Don't forget—"

"I'd prefer if we all forgot it and left it in the dust for people to step on," I slammed my hands on the desk, the two flinching as they eyed each other in front of me. "Do you all like degrading me? Is it so fun for you to harass me?"

"Fine, fine, we won't bully you anymore, it's just in good, old fun remembering how you used to be so vulnerable and weak—it was fun protecting you," Yena shrugged, smiling softly. "I don't play a big role in your life as those five do, but I think I've made my mark. It's always fun bullying my favorite girl because now, you're all grown and matured, aware of the things that hurt you. Such a role model."

"Whatever, Yena," I shooed away her prying hands that tried to embrace me, moving behind Taehyun. "Besides, you have some fun memories too. Like that douchebag of a date!"

"Ugh, don't remind me about him, I've tried to completely block him out of my mind," She put her hands up in surrender, moving her hair to the side. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see the freshmen fanning over her. If only they knew what it takes to be lovely behind this pretty girl, they'd all run away in fear. "I still can't believe he had the audacity... ugh, I don't want to talk about it. Remember the time Taehyun caused you and Beomgyu to fight in the middle of a class?"

"Gosh, I felt so bad that day!"

"You shouldn't have, it was your birthday."

"That was like... one of you guys' biggest fights, obviously I'd feel bad," He shrugged, rubbing his temples. "There was also the Sanha incident, too—gosh, I hope that fellow is okay now. He must've found himself better people, a better school that won't scare him half to death."

"Sanha... I really do hope he's doing okay," I sighed, pouting.

"What are you guys doing?" I heard, causing us three to turn to the feminine voice. "Reminiscing about you guys' faults? About all the times you three were idiots, like always?"

"If you're here to bully us for breathing, you're free to go back to helping your class," I rolled my eyes, crossing my arms. "We are just trying to have fun before we leave this school permanently."

"You know, I always wondered how you have the audacity to talk to me in such a petty yet sassy tone—but perhaps you learned it from me, so I can't blame you for it," She shrugged, sighing. "Anyway, my class knows about the cake story. It's a famous one among the freshman."

"Is that why they're staring at us?"

"Well, mostly you—because they'd love to hear the story of what happened," Ms. Kang leaned back up from the desk, straightening her back before pushing her glasses up her nose bridge. "However, I can't allow that. Having my kids hear about a girl getting hit by a bat, only to get yelled at her boyfriend in detail wouldn't be the best idea."

"Is that what I'm famous for among the new freshmen?"

"Hell, you four are quite famous—including Beomgyu—for being the seniors who have the best legacy in our high school," Ms. Kang shook her head, pointing at Yena. "She's known for being the prettiest senior, yet known for hitting on college kids."

"Not my fault kids don't tell me their age," Yena stepped back in defeat. Ms. Kang then pointed to Taehyun, who widened his eyes.

"Taehyun's known for how scary he is when he walks around—you know, like a ghost?" We all laughed, the boy frowning. "Well, as well as being Yihwa's personal bodyguard. Everywhere Yihwa goes, Taehyun follows."

"Should I just not exist, then?" He sighed to himself, unamused. "Maybe I should become a ghost."

"And you, Yihwa," Ms. Kang pointed at me, causing me to stare up at her. "You're known for getting in the most trouble with your boyfriend, but still being able to keep your high grades. They call you Ms. Un-yet-lucky."

"Stupid name, but I understand," I nodded in approval, pursing my lips. "How about Beomgyu?"

"He's known for being the jealous boyfriend who hit people for hitting on his girlfriend—literally," We all laughed, Ms. Kang shaking her head. "But also for having a famous girlfriend. It seems like the notoriety of his name has been placed onto yours, huh?"

"Only because I yell at people 24/7, or maybe because I scare people with my stare," I glared at Taehyun, who instantly perked up. "See? It's just an instinct."

"You're just scary," Yena complained, causing me to roll my eyes. "Anyway, can you believe it, Ms. Kang? Your favorite students will be graduating!"

"The only one I favor is Yang Yihwa—you two failed me."

"WHAT!?"

"Kidding, kidding—but still, you three better keep in touch and work hard," Ms. Kang patted our backs, grinning widely. "If I hear that my favorite trio has split up and are getting bad grades, I'll pull your ear as I did with Mr. Jung!"

"WE'LL BE GOOD!" Yena and I synchronized in fear, backing away from a proud Ms. Kang.

"Good," She smiled softly. "I can't wait to see you guys graduate... even though I'll miss you."

"Ms. Kang, stop being sappy with your seniors! What about us!?"

"I have to put up with you for a few more days, then you can leave if you hate it so much," We laughed at Ms. Kang's response, the student frowning. "See, this is why I don't like teaching freshmen."

"Hey!"