The next day I approached James as he was leaving Angel's study.

"Hi James," I said nervously, unsure of how to approach him. It wasn't like I hadn't grown up with him around but I found he wasn't the most approachable person.

He had the greenest eyes I had ever seen but they were like crystals sharp and cool. His black hair was always neatly cut and he always wore the same color suit. He was a creature of habit.

He was one of the few men that worked for Angel that was calculated and cold, frighteningly so. He was never emotional and the type of guy you wanted on your side in stressful situation. Even last night while everyone was under stress he had performed like a surgeon, clinically. The only other occupations I could have seen him thrive in would have been as a surgeon or hit man. I could see why Angel depended on him so much. And he was trustworthy. Like Angel and I, he had grown up in the family as well. His father had worked for Angel's father. His loyalty Angel was without question.

"Kira," he greeted me, his eyes lifting momentarily from the document he held.

"I need a favor James." I wasn't sure if he would help me but out of the all the people I knew he had the skills I was looking for.

"What type of favor?" he asked, he closed the paper and held it in his right hand.

"I need someone to teach me how to handle a gun. And I need some basic skills on how to defend myself." This was all part of my plan to make myself stronger for the life I had been handed.

He studied me. "I'm not sure Angel would be okay with that."

Usually, I would have told him I didn't care but I didn't believe that would help persuade him. He admired Angel, anyone who saw them together could see that. They had grown up together, they had been friends and now they worked together.

My brother had been close to both of them but when he had gone into law enforcement, any friendships had even severed.

"I need to be stronger James. How long do you think I'll last if I don't find a way to adapt? While you're trying to save a man's life I stood clutching the wall trying not faint. I was no help to anyone, in fact I was a distraction you guys could have done without."

He studied me. He couldn't disagree with me.

"You know I'm right," I pleaded with him, hoping I had said enough to sway him.

"I have a busy schedule Kira," he said, and I felt like he was about to turn me down.

"I'll do whatever you need me to. I'll get up earlier if that works for you. Please James." I reached out and touched his arm. "I feel like if I don't get this right I won't survive."

He frowned looking down to where I was touching him and I immediately withdrew my hand.

"Is it so bad that I'm trying to make myself more useful. What if something happens and I could have done something but I couldn't because I don't know how to handle a gun. We live in a dangerous time James. I need to know how to protect myself. I can't just run and hide when something happens."

"Four o'clock," he stated.

"Four o'clock?" I questioned, unsure of what it meant by that.

"You meet me by the front door at four in the morning and I'll teach you."

I have never woken up early in my life before but I was prepared to do anything to learn what I needed to. I felt relieved I had managed to talk him around. "Thank you James."

"This isn't going to be easy so you might want to hold off the thanks." With that he walked away.

I felt some sense of satisfaction that I was to learn some value that would help me show my husband to be I was more capable than he thought.

I managed to avoid Angel until he came looking for me while I was sorting out my wardrobe. A lot of the clothes I had didn't fit and I was packing them away so I could donate them. I would have to do some shopping for new clothes.

"We have some decisions to make concerning the wedding," he said.

"Shouldn't you have knocked?" I asked without stopping what I was doing. My voice was tight and unwelcoming.

"I own this house," he bit back and I shook my head.

"This is my room and I expect you to knock, like I would before I entered yours." He had his space and this was mine. He had to respect it.

"You're spoiling for a fight, aren't you?

"No, I'm not. I just expect you to respect my boundaries."

There was silence.

Then he moved to pull me to my feet by my wrist.

"Let go," I said, trying to get myself free of his grip but he yanked me out the closet.

"I've had enough of this." He let me go and I rubbed my wrist, still feeling the impression of his hold.

"Stop manhandling me." I stamped my foot, feeling frustrated.

"You are going to be my wife soon, start acting like one." He was angry and I faltered, taking a step back.

"And how am I supposed to do that when you treat me like I can't think for myself? Like I'm some airhead that is only here to play a part and other than that you just want to lock me away. I'm a person Angel. My life is not my own anymore. My father made a decision that took every chance I had to lead my own life. I have to marry you but that doesn't mean I have to give up who I am."

"I have the responsibility of all the men who work for me. I don't need you to make my job harder."

"What are you talking about?" He wasn't making any sense. How was I making it more difficult for him?

"If I have to worry about you in stressful situations it makes it harder to focus on what I need to. I have to know if something happens you're safe. Is that so terrible of me?"

I stared at him. "I didn't..know that was the reason you wanted me to..."

"So can you just do what I ask?"

"What if we try find a compromise?" I ventured, hoping he would meet me in the middle.

"Until you can show me you can handle yourself in a stressful situation you have to promise to go straight for the panic room at the first sign of danger." He lifted an eye brow at me.

It wasn't exactly what I wanted but he was trying and that made me nod. He was at least meeting me halfway.

"So maybe it's time for someone to show me where the stupid panic room is?" I crossed my arms.

He smiled.

He led me to my ensuite bathroom. In the shower what looked like an ordinary tile he pushed and the wall of tiles opened like a door.

"That's crazy," I murmured, as I stepped into the small room. It has some supplies like food and a friday and a small bed. And a toilet and basin.

"Once you're inside here you lock yourself in." He showed me how to work the digital keypad.

"As soon as it's locked no one will be able to get in without you unlocking the door." He gave me the codes to close it and to open it.

"Are you going to remember all of this?"

I nodded.

"How long could I last in here?" I asked, hoping I would never have to use it. It was a bit claustrophobic.

"A few days."

"How will I know it's safe to come out?" Just talking about this type of scenario made me nervous but I reminded myself it was just a precaution. I may never actually need to use it. That made me feel a little less anxious.

"You don't come out until I come and fetch you."

"What if something happens to you?" I asked, not wanting to think that something could happen but I had to be realistic.

"James will come get you if I can't."

I nodded, trying not to let the thought that it could happen rattle me. I rubbed my wrist where he had grabbed me and his eyes caught it.

"Did I hurt you?" he asked, taking my wrist to have a better look at it.

There was a slight bruise.

"It's nothing," I brushed it off.

He hadn't meant to hurt me.

"I'm sorry. I just can't seem to keep my control where you're concerned."

He was always in control, I think I liked the fact that I could push him out of it. It was only fair when he could push me to my limits with a off hand comment and I found myself thinking about him more often than I wanted to admit.

And out of all the people in my life, family included, he seemed to care about me more than anyone else.