I was so deep in my head that only when Angel's hands settled on my waist pulling me against him did I notice I wasn't alone anymore. He wrapped his arms around me and I leaned my head back against him.

"See it wasn't that bad," he murmured. It had gone better than I had expected.

"It wasn't," I agreed, remembering James' advice.

I turned in his arms to kiss him. It was hot and heavy, my breath labored by the time it ended.

"I love you," I murmured to him, needing him to know how much he meant to me. There was nothing like nearly losing someone to heighten the emotion.

He kissed me again.

"You love me?" I asked.

He seemed reluctant to say the words, I wasn't unsure if it was bugging me or not. Maybe I was just feeling a bit more needy than usual.

"If you want me to say those three little words I will. But you mean more to me than just that. Like I told you before I've lived my whole life being taught that loving someone is a weakness and to be avoided at all costs." He let out an emotional breath and I watched fascinated as an array of emotion played across his features.

"You are my weakness Kira. The only one I have."

"What about the other woman?" I asked, unable to stop myself from feeling jealous about the woman who had shared his life.

"Like I told you before Kira, I'd been taught sex to be a physical release with no emotion. You were the first girl I fell in love with and the first woman I made love to."

His eyes held mine and I held my breath. His words were heartfelt and sincere.

It was hard to think back at how much I had doubted that he had felt anything but responsibility for me. Watching him now I could see his love in the way he talked about me, how he looked at me and how he touched me.

It wasn't in three words people uttered insincerely all the time.

"There were times you were so hard on me I really believed you hated me."

He shook his head. "Never. I had to be hard on you to make you take the threat of the Vincents more seriously. I was trying everything to keep you safe and you were doing everything to screw it up."

"If I had known, maybe we could have avoided some of my mistakes." Like stripping to get his attention and going without a bodyguard. And running away when I had believed he had married me for revenge.

"Let's not linger in the past because I don't want to waste a moment of our future."

"Well you're finally getting the big wedding you wanted," I said to him.

He shrugged. "You being my wife is all that matters. I only wanted the big wedding to make a statement like your father is trying to make. It's to ensure that every knows the importance of our union and what it means for our families. It will be bringing the two biggest crime families together Kira. It's big news."

I had never thought of it like that. I had believed it more to be the request of a dying father to his daughter and not a gangster to his heir and successor.

"Before it didn't feel right, doing the whole thing. The dress, cake and guests. But this time it will be different."

"How so?"

"Before you were only doing it to protect me and now we are going to do it because we love each other."

"I've always loved you," he said. "Even when I fought against it, even when I knew the risks, even when I didn't want to."

"Same. I've loved you for a long time." I sighed, knowing that I had also tried to fight it like he had.

If it was meant to be then there was no ignoring or suppressing it.

I realized I hadn't just fallen for him in the last few weeks, it had happened when we were younger. I couldn't remember the exact moment but when he had stood with me at my mother's funeral, that's when I believe I started to see him differently to the annoying boy who had always teased me and made my life difficult.

He had been there when I had needed someone, he had filled the role of family when no one else had been around and he had protected me like family.

"We were both in love with each at our first wedding," he said.

I hadn't looked at it that way but he was right. Unknowingly we had both said vows we had meant for each other.

"You were very thoughtful. Picking the spot for the ceremony by the pond where we grew up and remembering my favorite flowers."

"I never forget anything about you Kira. You were always in my thoughts."

It was pulling back the curtain and see the real Angel behind the facade of a tough guy who ran a criminal empire.

"I was so upset when you sent me away. I hated it." It had been another intense time of feeling alone.

"I had to do it for your safety. And I couldn't handle the thought of something happening to you."

"I get that. But at the time I didn't know." I sighed. "No more secrets Angel. No more keeping things from me to protect me. I have to know that I can depend on you to tell me the truth, even when it isn't good, even if it's going to hurt. That's what I need."

"You have my word, Kira. No secrets. Before it was important to keep some things from you to ensure law enforcement didn't have anything on you. But things are different now. We are equals and because of who you are I can't protect you from some things anymore. It's important for you to know and understand the risk that you'll be exposed to daily. But you will have me and James to help you."

I realized I hadn't told him what Kaiden had talked to be about before Andrew's visit.

"And Kaiden," I added.

He was surprised, like I had been.

"He has quit the FBI to be my second in charge."

"That is unexpected. I really thought he was passionate about being on the right side of the law."

"Me too. But he believes helping me find my feet is more important. I think the FBI allowed him to run from his demons for a while but until he faces them they aren't going away."

Angel nodded. "He knows the ins and outs. He will be a good fit."

"And I know I have his loyalty. I don't think I could trust anyone else other than you and James and you already have your own thing to handle."

"We'll figure this out together. The best way forward."

I touched his cheek. "After yesterday I believe we can get through anything as long as we are together."

Nothing like cheating death and feeling invincible to make me feel like I could accomplish anything.

He nodded. "Yesterday was something I hope we never have to go through again."

"I get it. If you hadn't talked those guys around we would all be dead."

"It's only because I know how to handle power hungry men. I've been around them my whole life. All I had to do was give them a moment of doubt and drive it home. The rest was easy."

I didn't know how I felt about the fact that Andrew had taken care of the men who had attacked us. On one hand I felt it was what they deserved and there was a part of me that felt some sort of weird empathy which I couldn't explain. I don't know why I had even an inkling of that emotion for people who had wanted to end my life.

It made me question whether I had the stomach for what was expected of me but I didn't want to wallow in doubt when I had moments when I felt low. I wanted to keep positive and feel like I had the power to live the life that I wanted, making my own rules. Living life on my own terms, not dominated by another person but as an equal, side by side.

"I owe you my life Angel."

"And the only thing I want to do is share your life Kira. We are still young but I want children with you. I want to spend every sunrise and sunset with you. And I want to grow old with you. I will be there to protect you, honor and love you."

"Who knew there was a romantic under all that testosterone," I teased, loving this side of him. The one I had only seen glimpses of before.

"Only for you Kira," he whispered softly.

He kissed me and wrapped his arms around me lifting me off my feet.

"I think we need a bedroom," I murmured against his lips with a wicked smile, knowing exactly what I wanted from him right then and there. I kissed him deeply, like it was our last moment on earth.

We didn't make it out the study.