Hello My Lovelies....Wassup ???

Another Day, Another Update!!!!

I'd like to take a moment to thank you all who vote & share their feedback...Good or Bad cuz it only helps me Improve & do better

Alright moving ahead!!! This is again a long chapter. Things may change post this chapter. No major changes though. But I wanted to make their reunion as special as I could.
Anyway Enjoy!!!!
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Jis chiz ki umeed hi chod di ho aur woh chiz ek dum se hojaye when least expected
Imagine how overwhelming that feeling must be ??

Shehnaaz was feeling exactly the same at this moment
But don't you think it's highly unlikely of Shehnaaz to behave like a complete love-sick puppy. It's weird to see a woman so headstrong like her shedding tears for a Man.

But did you know??

An Emotionless person or the most strongest of the people can be the most emotional ones if you sow true emotion & feelings inside them. Make them feel loved & wanted & see just how they give you back twice as much. And Sidharth did just that...he awakened that emotions...that feelings inside her that she had suppressed deep down for obvious reasons. He made her feel loved & wanted.
He made her feel special around him. Also, she was guilt ridden of hurting him intentionally or unintentionally so many times. Hence, she was totally consumed and overpowered by her emotions.

Sana was still not ready to believe her eyes. She had already accepted in her mind that he was gone from her life & they will never meet again.
But then Destiny Again you see???

A whirlwind of emotions erupted inside her to see him stand so close to her.

SIDHARTHH.... she mumbled his name like a prayer too low & barely audible for him to hear

The moment she whispered his name, Sidharth felt as if someone called his name. He lifted his head turning sideways and scanned around but found none. He sighed & continued tying the mauli. After he was done. He walked back taking few steps ahead but stopped on his tracks.
He tilted his head to glance back one last time before he left

Sana hid herself behind the wall. She wanted to run to him & tell him how happy she was to see him back. How terribly she missed him. How sorry she was for all those times when she hurt him. And at the sametime she wanted to seek answers for her questions too !!!!!

But soon realization dawned upon her that Sid never tried meeting or contacting her post his bail. And these were enough reasons for Sana to feel insecure & unsure if meeting him was right thing to do?

What if he was avoiding her deliberately??
What if he's angry ??
Or worst what if he hates her now??

Even the thought of him hating her shook & dreaded her so much.
She didn't wish to see hate in those eyes for herself.....anyone but not him....
Because truth be told, Sidharth was still oblivious to the fact that she was fully aware about him being innocent.
Woh toh ab tak yehi soch raha hoga that Sana considered him a culprit. Her thoughts were absolutely chaotic & cluttered right now

Sighing painfully she hid herself & watched him leave feeling helpless. Agar kuch nahi toh she can at least watch him from a distance right?
Moreover he seemed fine and that is all mattered to Sana at the moment
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Ya Nizamuddin Auliya
Ya Nizamuddin Sarkar

Kadam badha le, haddon ko mita le
Aaja khalipan mein pee ka ghar tera
Tere bin khali aaja khalipan mein
Tere bin khali aaja khalipan mein

Rangreza, Rangreza
Rangreza
Ho, Rangreza, Rangreza

Qawali began as Sufi saints were induced in music & singing accompanied by Tambourines & pipes and engaged in whirling dances to achieve a trance like state

Sidharth went & sat beside them quietly as he was a Great Music Lover. There was a time when his life was all about music only if fate showed some mercy upon him

The music felt so enchanting, it soothed his heart & gave him much needed peace while Shehnaaz sat at a safe distance from him. Lowering her veil she tried covering her face so that he doesn't notice her. She was watching his every action longingly

Kun fayakun Kun fayakun fayakun
Fayakun fayakun fayakun
Kun fayakun Kun fayakun fayakun
Fayakun fayakun fayakun

Jab kahin pe kuch nahi, bhi nahi tha
Wahi tha, wahi tha, wahi tha, wahi tha
Jab kahin pe kuch nahi, bhi nahi tha
Wahi tha, wahi tha, wahi tha, wahi tha

Wo jo mujhmein samaaya, wo jo tujhmein samaaya
Maula wahi-wahi maaya
Wo jo mujhmein samaaya, wo jo tujhmein samaaya
Maula wahi-wahi maaya

He rembered his initial days after he abandoned everyone & everything in his life. How he used to perform on the streets sometimes, how he kept wandering aimlessly on the streets like a Desolate Man. Shattered & Devasted. But Noone even bothered not then not now.

Sidharth didn't realize when his eyes started brimming again & tear drops fell from his eyes which didn't go unnoticed by Shehnaaz & the sufi Saint who sat beside him.

Kun fayakun Kun fayakun
Sadq allahu ali ul azeem

Rangreza rang mera, tann mera mann
Le-le rangaai chahe tann chahe mann
Rangreza rang mera, tann mera mann
Le-le rangaai chahe tann chahe mann

The Sufi Saint adjusted the Mike towards him while Sidharth looked at him with questioning eyes. When the Man responded

Apni Aawaz Ko Zaariyan Bana
Aur Beh Jaane de Ush Takleef Ko

Zakhm Bharega, Uski Umeed Nahi Karta
Magar Rahat Milegi, Yeh Zubaan Deta Hu

He was little hesitant at first but eventually agreed. He wanted to try & attempt this. If doing this can subside & sooth even an ounce bit of pain & angst inside him. He will be relieved cuz it's too much to endure.

Sidharth took a long deep breath, closing his eyes recalling all his bitterest of memories. He gripped the Mike & let his pain & anger flow in the form of music, pouring & accumulating all the intensity and passion

Sajra savera mere tann barse
Kajra andhera teri jalti lau
Sajra savera mere tann barse
Kajra andhera teri jalti lau
Qatra mila jo tere darr barse
O, Maula, Maula

Kun fayakun Kun fayakun
Kun fayakun Kun fayakun
Fayakun Kun fayakun fayakun
Fayakun fayakun fayakun
Kun fayakun Kun fayakun fayakun
Fayakun fayakun fayakun

Jab kahin pe kuch nahi, bhi nahi tha
Wahi tha, wahi tha, wahi tha, wahi tha
Jab kahin pe kuch nahi, bhi nahi tha
Wahi tha, wahi tha, wahi tha, wahi tha

Kun fayakun Kun fayakun
Sadq allahu ali ul azeem

Sadaqa-Rosooluh-ul-Nabi-ul-Kareem
SalAllah hu alayhi wasallam
SalAllah hu alayhi wasallam

He sang with such an extremity & vigour in his voice that shook Shehnaaz. Shehnaaz could feel that sadness & Pain dripping from his voice while Sufi smiled throughout as the Man knew it will help him release all that was built inside since ages. Sidharth was deeply engrossed in tides of his memories that streamed in the form of his intense singing.

Ho mujhpe karam sarkar tera
Araj tujhe karde mujhe, mujhse hi riha
Ab mujhko bhi ho deedar mera
Karde mujhe mujhse hi riha, mujhse hi rihaaa

Mann ke mere ye bharam
Kachche mere ye karam
Leke chale hain kahaan, main to jaanu hi na

Tu hai mujhmein samaaya, kahaan leke mujhe aaya
Main hoon tujhmein samaaya, tere peechhe chala aaya
Tera hi main ik saaya, tune mujhko banaya
Main to jag ko naa bhaaya, tune gale se lagaya
Haq tuhi hai khudaya, sach tuhi hai khudaya

Kun fayakun Kun fayakun fayakun
Fayakun fayakun fayakun
Kun fayakun Kun fayakun fayakun
Fayakun fayakun fayakun

By the time he finished, Sidharth felt much lighter, as if a big rock was lifted off of him. He felt much relaxed yet he couldn't stop his tears that escaped through his eyes.
Sidharth quickly wiped them before anyone noticed. He didn't wanna fall weak but it just wasn't in his control.

His trance was broken by Sufi's voice

Sufi : Aakhon mein ask aur aawaz mein beinteha dard aur gehrahi yun hi toh nahi hota !!!!! Aise toh sirf Ek Shadeed Zakhmi Banda hi gaa sakta hain....

Aisa kya hua hain tere saath?? Chahe toh chand lafz mein hi Bayan karde !!

(He said watching him curiously)

Sidharth chuckled painfully

Kash sirf Zakham hota, toh shayad waqt k saath bhar jaata

Par Mujhe Jo Mila woh Zakhm nahi hain.....

Nasoor hain...Jo waqt k saath aur gehra hojata hain. Par ab kuch mehsoos nahi hota....Shehne ki Aadat hogayi hain na.....

(With the amount of intensity & utmost pain he said that could have shaken anyone)

(The Shayari credit goes to -Devilness- thank you sweetheart)

Jaane se pehle ek Sher sunata hu
Jo Asal meri Zindagi ki choti si jhalak hain (Sidharth said)

Jab Zindagi samaj Aayi
Toh Zindagi Se Door The Hum

Marna Toh Chaha
Magar Majboor The Hum

Har Saza Humne Qabool Ki Sir Jhuka Kar

Qasoor Sirf Itna Tha
K Beqasoor The Hum

Allah Rehmat Kare Tujpar... (Sufi Saint blessed him patting the back of his head gently

Shukriya said Sidharth in his hoarsed voice before leaving the place

Shehnaaz, who watched him from a distance looked away tight-lipped. As she herself was on the verge of crying knowing the gravity & magnitude of his Pain. She regretted hurting him so much. She had now realized that they both were sailing on the same boat. He is equally broken like she is. Her heart cried to see him so devasted. She yearned to see the old Sidharth now

Shehnaaz wondered what must have happened with him in the past?
She still remembered that phone call weeks back when the women mentioned something about his painful past. He had hidden so much inside him, he too had suffered like her

And yet he never made it evident on his face. Even when she used to go around hurting him, insulting him, repelling him. He never complaint, rather he always smiled back at her. How great of a Man he was, she felt herself too small & shallow in front of him.

It was a moment of Epiphany for Shehnaaz. And she promised to repent her mistakes. She will definitely makes things right between them. She was determined then ever. Wiping her tears & lifted her head but frowned immediately on not finding him.

Shehnaaz dreaded on seeing him disappear again.

NO NO NO!!!!!! Not this time Sidharth

She got up with a jerk & started roaming frantically searching & looking for him everywhere but found him nowhere. She was almost on the verge of crying & freaking mess. She was actually behaving too needy & desperate

But Love is Always Extreme !!!! Isn't it???

SHE LOST HIM AGAIN !!!
AGAIN !!!!!

It was downpouring heavily now Shehnaaz moved out of Dargah heartbroken and started walking aimlessly streaming continuous tears. She was lost so deep into her thoughts that she did not even hear a Vehicle that kept honking from so long who was speeding towards her.

The Collison was about to happen but she was pulled back harshly in a nick of time. Before she could realize what had happened she felt herself wrapped in a familiar arms.

She lifted her head to meet those Pair of Deep black orbs who looked back at her with rage. But Shehnaaz didn't budge from the spot. She wanted to feel his warmth. She wanted to feel him close to her. She was feeling safest of heavens in his arms. She was almost going to hug him but Sidharth's next move crushed her heart

He held her by both shoulders & pushed her a little but very gently making a distance between them. His eyes still had same rage

Shehnaaz's heart broke

Sidharth : (mad) Apne Employees k saath saath....Jo log raaste mein Drive kar rahe hain unko bhi khareed liya hain kya? Jo woh sochenge array Shehnaaz Gill road cross kar rahi hain?? Aur gaadiyan apne aap ruk jaayenge??
Dhyan Kya tha Tumhara?
Agar Main Waqt pe Nahi aata toh.....(She cut him)

Sana : (extremely soft) Par tum Aagaye Na....aur mujhe kuch nahi hone diya

He was literally taken aback by her tone

Sana : (overwhelmed) Sidharth Main tum............I mean...tum kaha chale.....

Sid : (cold) Kyu Shehnaaz?? Ab Kyu aayi ho? And I'm sorry....tumhe mujhe jaise criminal ka dobara face karna pada(shifting his gaze away from her)

Sana : (hurt & almost crying) NO Sidharth please...please don't say that...Please!!!!
I know mera ish waqt kuch bhi kehna tumhara dard ya takleef kum nahi karega but still....I am really very sorry Sidharth. I truly am....

She looked in his eyes to see his reaction

Sidharth gulped the lump that formed in his throat

He smiled at her painfully

Sid : (Painfully) Main tumse bilkul bhi gussa ya Naraz nahi hu Shehnaaz. In fact I'm thankful to you. Tumne Mere liye apna keemti Waqt nikal kar, evidence ikhattein kiya, itni mehnat kari. Thank you!!!

Shehnaaz looked at him in disbelief. He knew it. And if he knew it then why did he leave?

Sana : (astonished) Tumhe yeh sab....kiase??

Sid : (hoarse voice) Doesn't Matter !!!! Bas ek Akhri baat....Tumhe Apne Dil Mein Koi Guilt ya Regret rakhne ki zarurat nahi hain.
It was my fault that.... I was being such a fool. (Chuckled painfully)

Bhool gaya tha k jo socha agar woh hone lagey......toh Zindagi aur Khwab Mein Fark kya Reh jaayega

(He said in the most devasted tone)

Tears found it's way from their eyes while Shehnaaz heart sunk

Sana :( Fearful & alert) Aakhri?? Matlab???

Sid : (looking away) Shehnaaz you should leave. And moreover there is nothing to talk...(chocking)

Sana : (yelling) NO I WONT.....Unless you talk to me !!!!

(Exhausted) Look Sidharth main...main bas itna kehna chati hu k... I know we didn't start off on a good note...& I also know that I'm one difficult & complicated person to live with....but I had my reasons Sidharth....(holds his hand)

Mere liye bhi yeh sab utna hi mushkil hain jitna k tumhare liye. But....I wanna try....I want to try & repent my mistakes Sidharth. I know the contract is over. But I will renew it. And this time you won't work as someone temporary. You will be Permanent. We will work together....But I need you to help me in this. I can't do this alone Sidharth...(pause) I need you....Mat Jao Please.....
(She spoke last line pleading)

She was trying everything to stop him from leaving her again. She was freaking out. She thought she was losing

Sid : (trying hard to sound strong) You're Getting it all wrong Shehnaaz. Please understand that I'm neither angry nor upset with you. Alright !!!!! Mere saath jo bhi hua woh meri apni bevkufi ki wajah se hua. No one is to be blamed or held responsible but myself. So please stop sympathizing

Sana : (cups his face as a reflex) NO No Sidharth...You're misunderstanding...I'm not doing anything out of sympathy but out of lov.......(sid raised his eyebrows)
I mean I'm doing this out of care. I care for you Sidharth

He looked into those pleading green orbs that were making him weak & he feared breaking down

Sidharth regained his composure & removed her hands & was about to leave but Shehnaaz held his wrist and stood infront him

Sana : (crying & hiccuping) Sidharth please don't do this. Main....main janti hu OKAY... maine tumhe hurt kiya hain....ek..ek baar nahi kayi baar.... And I am sorry alright........par tum hi toh kehte na that you can see right through me. Right???
TOH PHIR AB KYU NAHI DEKH PAA RAHE HO??? HUH !!!!!!!!!!!

She spoke last sentence a bit louder frustrated. His cold & adamant behavior was hurting her to the core

It was equally hurting Sidharth to see her cry but he was broken himself so couldn't fix her either. Despite the heavy when they are completely wet, drenched in rain yet Sidharth could notice her tears. Their souls cried, yearned for each other. Despite of being so close they felt miles apart

Although he was broken to pieces but he loved her with each parts and pieces of his broken heart madly. And it was killing Sidharth to see the woman he loves cry

Sidharth didn't respond & walked off as fast as possible while Shehnaaz ran after him

Sana was getting mad now

Sana : SIDHARTHHHH.........

She screamed and pulled him back grabbing his collar. They stood too close now. Sidharth was trying to push her while she clutched his collar tightening it more around him

Sana : (Angry) ENOUGH!!!! Kyu kar rahe ho aisa Sidharth? It's hurting me!!!!!! It's hurting.....I know I'm being very selfish right now....
I know ish waqt... mujhse kahi zyada tum dard mein ho... But please don't avoid me Sidharth....please don't !!!!!

(Crying hysterically she moved a bit too closer.
her hands travelled from his collar to his nape, cupping it she joined their foreheads together)

Sidharth gulped his hardness at the proximity and the rain wasn't helping them at all

Sana : (pleading intensely) PLEASE Sidharth...Tumne kaha tha tum mujhe samajte ho...toh please samjho.......
Woh Jo main kehna chati hu...aur Woh Jo mere liye kehna mushkil hain.....(After a pause)

Tum tab Mere kareeb aaye, Jab main sabse dur bhaagti thi....

Maine hamesha tumhe galat samjha
Par tumne Mere Har Galat Sahi Mein Badal Diya

Maine Tumhe sirf hurt kiya, tumhari insult ki
Par Tumne Phir bhi Mera Saath Diya

Tum Khud Itne Dard Mein Rahe
Par Phir Bhi Mere Dard Ko Kum karne ki har koshish Ki

Maine tumhe apne gusse mein naa jaane kya kya keh diya (hiccuping)
Par Tumne kabhi kabhi bhi palat kar mujhe hurt nahi kiya

KYU SIDHARTH???? (crying)
KYUN HO TUM ITNE ACCHE???
KYU???

Sidharth's tears were unstoppable. They both were crying now. She was making it more & more difficult for him. He was melting in her arms.

He felt so helpless. He just kept struggling trying to push her while her hold on him went on becoming stronger

Sid : (tired) Stop Shehnaaz...Please...
Mat Karo yeh. Tootein hue tukdo ko jod kar unpar khada hu Main.
Phir se bikharne mein waqt nahi lagega.
Mana mazboot hu...Par pathar toh nahi.
Ek hadh tak Bardasht kar sakta hu main bhi. Baar Baar nahi toot sakta. Mujhe bhi Dard.......hota hain !!!!
And that is why...I am Better Off Alone.....at least I don't have to worry & be scared about being let down or Hurt again

Sidharth said in the most painful & cracking voice making Sana cry along with him

This time Shehnaaz just couldn't resist. She threw herself in his arms wrapping her arms around his neck pulling him closer while Sidharth clenched his knuckles & jaw closing his eyes. Only he knew how he was controlling & holding himself back from wrapping his arms around her & hiding her in him completely. But he didn't have the courage now but at the same time it felt so endearing & peaceful

Sana : (hugging & crying ) Main kuch badal toh nahi sakti Sidharth. Par tumhe samaj toh sakti hu. Aur Main samajti hu Sidharth...
Humare Dard ki Wajah alag hosakte hain....
Par dard toh wohi rehta hain na....I promise I won't hurt you...Ever !!!!

Sidharth was moved by her words. He couldn't hold himself any longer. He slowly broke the hug looking intently in her eyes. While Shehnaaz felt herself burning under his intense gaze. There both were so lost in the moment while heavy rain poured upon them.

Shehnaaz shuddered as he inched closer. Lightening struck and Shehnaaz almost crushed herself into him scared. Their desires were overpowering their senses completely. Their breaths were getting heavier with each passing second. Roads were completely quiet & calm by now. The only sound that could be heard was the lightening & heavy rain

Shehnaaz stopped breathing when Sidharth's lips brushed on hers sending shivers down their spine. She shut her eyes immediately feeling the sensation. Sidharth pulled her more closer if possible caging her against the wall such that nobody could watch them

He caressed her lips with his so sensually while her arms encircled around his neck voluntarily letting the heat pass through their body. And next Sidharth placed his lips above her trembling ones making her insides explode.
Shehnaaz felt her knees giving away but Sid held her from her waist while his other hand traveled up her cheek cupping it gently
He kissed her so slow & soft yet sensually pouring in all the love he had hidden inside his heart. It was a moment of Sheer Bliss for him !!!!!!!!!!!

While for Shehnaaz felt like she found her Paradise. She felt so emotional. Right in that moment she realized this Man ruled her heart now & the only one who can tame her. And she was ready to lose herself in him. She won't let her inhibitions ruin her life now.
She kissed him back with equal ardency letting him know that she won't hurt him ever and just how much he means to her. She was too overwhelmed by this feeling that tears started streaming down her eyes !!!!!!!!!!!

Forgetting there miseries for a while they were both completely indulged in the moment trying to heal each other. Indeed A broken heart doesn't need repaired. Because maybe one of your pieces fits perfectly with someone else's Heart !!!

While rain showered upon them blessing two souls who were basking in the glory of their Reunion???

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It took me almost 2 days to write this Chapter cuz I wanted to make it special. Hope you all enjoyed it too !!!!!!

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