× Mercury

The trees stand silent in the winter air. The chill encases us, and like the branches above me, I didn't move. Underneath my feet, the ground was lumpy with roots that projected though the soil and snow. They twist like snakes turned to stone, intertwining and becoming one.

I had first noticed the trees when I was waiting for Niall to pick me up for the wedding. They had grabbed my attention then, and had grabbed it again now.

Bringing the old camera of my mother's up to my eye, I looked through the view finder until I had the perfect angle of the trees before snapping a picture. I moved around the trees, taking pictures and making sure to remember all the rules my photography professor had taught. The only sounds around me were distant police sirens and the click of the shutter on my camera.

"I remember you asked me if these trees reminded me of anything," someone said through my concentration, making me jump.

I spun around and saw Niall walking up behind me, hands in the pockets of his puffy blue coat. I'd be lying if I said I was avoiding him. But it didn't matter where I went, he would always find me.

"I see it now," he continued. "The branches entwining together; it's just like the trees in Tristan and Iseult."

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"I'm picking up Thomas. He called asking for a ride," he explained quickly, like he would be punished if it was any other reason. "I'm not stalking you, I swear. I know what you need the most right now is space and I'm going to respect that."

Right then, Thomas walked out of the building. His buzzed black hair was catching little snowflakes and the dark color of his skin glowed next to the sheet white of the snow on the ground. I noticed a black portfolio under his arm as he made his way down the steps toward us. Before break, he had shown me some of his graphic design stuff - magazine spreads, logo designs, billboard mock-ups, and more. If soccer doesn't go his way, I know graphic design will.

"Hey, Lynn," he nodded at me before pointing to the camera in my hand. "I see you took my advice. You won't regret having a backup plan, trust me."

"Even if I never go into the career, it's nice to know about the tricks in photography," I agreed.

Thomas looked at Niall. "Ready?" he asked him.

"Yeah, uh..." Niall started, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. "The car's unlocked. You get in, I'll be there in a minute."

The dark skinned boy nodded and gave me a wave before walking off toward Niall's car a few feet away. I watched Niall suspiciously as he shuffled his feet like a little boy on the playground talking to his crush.

"Niall."

He sighed and ran a hand down his face before looking up at me sadly. "I want to fix this, Lynn. Practice yesterday was... weird. And I just want everything to go back to how it was before. I'm willing to climb mountains and swim oceans to get back to how we were in California again."

"You tried to make me feel bad. And for what? Jealousy?" I explained. "I already have one Bradley in my life, I don't need another one."

I knew it hurt Niall to hear that just as much as it hurt me to say it, but it was true. What he did on New Year's Eve was exactly something Bradley would have done.

"I'm grasping at straws here, Lynn," Niall said harshly, clearly getting frustrated. "For as long as I've known you, I've tried figuring out your mind and what you're thinking. I can't do that this time. Please, give me something."

"Then tell me why!" I shouted. "Why were you such an asshole? We were having a good time in California but something happened in a span of a few days to make you... you..."

From Niall's car, Thomas honked the horn.

Niall looked at me, ignoring his impatience teammate. "Let me at least bring you to your hall," he offered.

I thought for a moment. I was on my way out of the building after developing all the pictures I had taken in California. My plan was to walk home since Jace was still sick with the flu. I guess Niall taking me wouldn't be the end of the world. Besides, his car was already warm.

"Can you actually bring me to The Courtyard Bar?" I asked. "I work in a half hour."

"Only if I can get a free pint out of it," he smirked.

"Deal."

We headed in the direction of his car. I opened the backdoor and threw my backpack in before sliding into the back seat. A few moments later, Niall was pulling out of the parking lot.

Thomas quickly started up a conversation with Niall, talking about a soccer game that was on TV last night. I zoned out and stared straight in front of me and out the windshield window at all the snow-covered trees passing us by.

I found myself also watching Niall as he drove. He had one hand on the steering wheel and the other propped up on the window beside him. He still hadn't cut his hair, now an unruly mess from his hands constantly running through it. I watched his ocean blue eyes through the rearview mirror.

Hearing about his father opened up a whole new door into Niall's life. He hadn't once mentioned him, even when he was talking about his childhood, so I knew something wasn't right. I just wouldn't have thought that his dad was using him for money as a clueless Niall took beating after beating. I would never say this to him, but I honestly felt sorry for him; for his fucked up family and stolen childhood. I knew that if I grew up rich with a power-hungry mom and an extreme gambler dad, I knew I wouldn't have turned out the way I had. So to see Niall the way he was, strong willed, incredibly smart, and cautiously protective, was a thing to admire.

Niall had been hurt by the person he loved before, which meant trust didn't come easy to him. But for him to open up to me, to tell me about his dad, to invite me to the dinner with his mom, even talking about Alina to me was a huge step. That was nothing short of trust, and I knew that it pained him to know that it was no longer requited.

But that was on him. Niall exploited my trauma with manipulation and tried using it to his advantage. He was going to have to work for that trust back.

Coming back to the world around me, I focused back into my surroundings to find Thomas leaning over the middle counsel, watching me closely.

"You alright, Lynn?" he asked.

"Yeah, why?"

He laughed at my response. "Because I asked you a question and you didn't answer or respond to your name."

I glanced at the rearview mirror again only to find Niall already looking at me. He gave me a small smile before I quickly looked away.

"Just thinking about... life."

"Have you thought about a distraction?" Thomas suggested. "Couldn't help but notice that you were tense at practice yesterday. I heard sex is a good therapy for that."

The past few days, Niall and I hadn't seen much of each other for good reason. Yesterday at practice was awkward, to say the least. We did the drills like usual but I knew the teammates felt the tension between us. They just had the mind not to bring it up.

"Why is it that men only think with their penis?" I asked. My face was serious, but there was playfulness in my voice. "Sex isn't always the answer, you know."

"Hey, I'm just sayin'," Thomas said, putting his hands up in surrender. "I have a mate who's interested if you are. I can set you up."

"What makes you think she hasn't had sex recently?" Niall put in. "Maybe she has a lad for her needs already," Niall continued, not looking away from me through the rearview mirror. "Someone who knows how to take care of her."

"What's your friend's name?" I asked Thomas just to spite Niall.

"Brett. Why, you interested?"

I shrugged. "Yeah, what's his number? I could use a distraction." I didn't have any intention of getting in contact with this Brett guy, but the priceless look on Niall's face made me push further. "Do you know if he's free tonight?"

"If he's not, I know he'll make time," Thomas assured me with a grin. "He fancies you, ya know. Always watches our games just to watch you."

"That's kind of creepy," Niall said.

"No, I think that's sweet," I responded.

The next thing I knew, Niall was pulling up to one of the halls on campus and Thomas was stepping out. He said his thank you, goodbyes, and a reminder that his friend would be getting in contact with me and walking away toward the entrance of his hall. I got out of the car and took the spot Thomas was just occupying in the front and buckled up.

We sat in silence. Thomas' conversation might have lifted the tension between us a little, but not even the radio could drown out the big elephant in the room.

It wasn't until he pulled into a parking space at The Courtyard Bar did Niall speak.

"If you needed a distraction, you should have told me," he said with a smirk. "I'm all about distracting. Or am I not good enough?"

"That's not very fair," I said, playing into his teasing. "I haven't slept with very many people to put you on a scale. But if you're insisting, then I'd say you're mediocre."

He laughed. "Oh, really? You could have fooled me from the way you were screaming my name in California, Princess."

I remembered when he first called me that nickname, in the airport when he picked me up. The name had irritated me, but at the time I didn't say anything because there was so much going on. And then during that night in my room, after the wedding... he called me that, but it wasn't ironic. It was in a moment of vulnerability. And I loved it.

"What are your plans tonight?" Niall asked, changing the subject.

"I got a date with Brett," I told him with a smirk.

"How about a date with me instead?"

My breath caught in my throat and I looked at him questionably. "What?"

Niall smiled, entertained by my sudden confusion. He leaned over the middle counsel, the memory of the night after the wedding flashed in my mind and how he was in this same position before he had kissed me. I could feel my heart pick up and feel my pulse under my skin from both the reminiscence and his sudden nearness.

"You, me, and dinner," he said simply, like those words left his mouth all the time. "Or maybe go to a museum or bowling. Whatever you want to do."

I found it really, really hard to wrap my head around this. "Niall, do you even go on dates?"

"No, but I've done a lot of things with you I don't normally do. Besides, I thought after everything we've done, I figured it was time I treated you to something that didn't include my tongue and-"

"Okay, I get it."

"I also owe you for... what happened. It's not much but I have to do something to, I don't know... for you to move past it."

"You mean to forget it happened?"

"No, no! That's not, fuck," he cursed and ran a hand through his hair, sitting back in his seat. "That' not what I meant."

"I thought you were good with words. What happened to that?"

"I've never been in this situation before?"

"What situation is this?"

He wanted to gain my trust back, that's what he was trying to say. I understood that, but the only way I would ever give him that back is if he told me why. Why did he do it, that's all I wanted to know, but he was harboring that for dear life and he was going to avoid it the best he could. I just hoped the time will come where he would learn that he could tell me anything. But he was right, I was nervous around him. Now that I've seen that side of his dice; the side I hope I never ever see again, there would always be that worry it might happen again.

"There's something there, Lynn," Niall added, more softly this time. "I'm trying to fight for this, truly."

Since meeting Niall, I've noticed a theme. Was it worth the risk? At first it was about what was going on behind closed doors. Was it worth putting our careers in jeopardy? Now I was asking the same question for a whole other reason. Was it worth trusting him again? He had always found it difficult to show the sides he wanted to share around me, one little thing might set him off again. It was easy to think that way after being manipulated by Bradley.

"I should get inside," I said quickly before the voice inside my head wins and I crumble at his feet and give him forgiveness. "My shift starts soon and I need to change. Thanks for the ride, if you come in I'll give you that drink."

Getting out of the car, I slung my backpack over my shoulder and slammed the door shut. I expected Niall to get out with me, but he rolled down the passenger window and leaned over the seat.

"You never answered, Lynn," Niall reminded. "Will you go on a date with me?"

I knew for a fact that Niall didn't date. He might have before he met Alina, but that time was long gone. It was a big step for him to even ask, but I couldn't help but wonder if he only asked because he wanted to make it up to me somehow and not because he generally wanted to take me out.

Before I could answer, a familiar red car pulled up in front of the bar. I didn't need to look in the driver seat to know who was in it. I watched, paralyzed to the spot as Harry stepped out of the car. When he looked over his shoulder, we spotted me and his eyes went wide.

"Lynn!" he shouted and made his way over to us. "Lynn, we need to talk."

New Year's Eve came to mind and I sighed deeply. I knew this was coming, I just hoped it would have lasted longer than two days before we had to discuss the kiss.

"Yeah, we do."

I adjusted the backpack over my shoulder and looked through the window at Niall, who had gone back to sitting in his seat normally and staring straight in front of him. I couldn't help notice how tense his jaw was.

"Are you coming in for that free drink?" I asked.

"I'll take a raincheck," he said monotonously.

I stepped away from the car, looking at Niall one last time to see if he would look over at me again, but when I knew that wasn't going to happen, I spun around and made my way toward the bar with Harry at my side.

"Is Jillian working today?" Harry asked.

"Yeah, her shift started at two. Why, what's wrong?" I asked.

"Well, nothing anymore," he clarified. "But long story short; at the New Year's party, after you left me, I found Jillian downstairs when I was looking for you. She was with some lad and he was being pretty handsy, and from the way she was pushing him off, I knew that I needed to do something since the tosser was two times her size."

I came to the conclusion that I was a terrible friend. I went to that party with Jillian, and even though she was the one who left me after putting the first drink in my hand, I couldn't help but feel responsible for just ditching her like that.

"After I got Jillian away from the lad, I took her home," he continued. "I stayed with her a few hours because she had gotten sick and I wanted to make sure she would be okay. I left when she fell asleep. The only problem now is that she won't leave me alone. She keeps texting me and calling me saying that she was 'totally grateful' that I was there to save her, like a fucking knight in shining armor."

I couldn't help but laugh. "She's always like that."

"Then you can tell her to stop. It was fine at first, but this has been going on for two days now."

The bell above the door went off as we stepped inside and the smell of deep-fried food and smoke filled the air. The sounds of chatter and the clanking of glasses were heard as we made our way to the bar at the back of the building. Jillian was at the counter, listening to a customer talk, probably about their failed love life or pity attempt to start one. She looked interested, but I had worked with her for months now and I knew that she was bored out of her mind and was just being polite.

"I think you're overreacting," I said as we reached the bar. "She just got over a pretty bad breakup and I think she's just feeling really defenseless and letting out all her appreciativeness to the first man that was nice to her."

"Still doesn't change the fact that she calls me more than my mother does."

Jillian spotted us and told the guy she was talking to that she had to attend to other customers, and then slide over to us, a large smile on her lips.

"Hey," she said cheerfully. "Lynn, did Harry tell you what he did for me on New Year's? I can't thank him enough."

"Yes you can," Harry mumbled.

I ignored him. "Yeah, he told me. Are you okay, though? Did the guy do anything?"

Jillian shook her head. "No, but he was going to before Harry came. I was so stupid. I was all over him, but something snapped together in my head because then I didn't want anything to do with him. I was leading him on and I was so stupid."

"That doesn't make you stupid," Harry told her. "If you change your mind, then he has to comply with that."

She nodded, but I knew she didn't completely believe him. I understood that, being with Bradley. I didn't want to do most of the things he wanted me to do, but I was too afraid to say anything.

"Thank you again," she said. "You didn't have to do that, and you especially didn't have to bring me home."

"We live in the same building," he defended. "And you don't have to tell me thank you every chance you get. I appreciate that you're appreciative, but I got it the first time."

Jillian smiled. "I'm pushing too hard, aren't I? I'm sorry; sometimes I don't know when to stop. I never really had anyone when I was growing up to help me through things, so I don't really know how much is too much." Then she stopped and looked at me excitedly. "Hey, Lynn! What are you doing tonight?"

"Uh, working?"

Jillian's smile quickly faded. "Oh, right. I was hoping you would come see me perform at Kaffeine Coffee. But never mind."

Harry perked up then. "Perform?"

"Yeah, sometimes Ray lets me play a song or two on my guitar at his café. It's nothing major but it does give me exposure and some pocket change."

At this point, I had gotten up from the bar and started walking away. I didn't know why Harry needed me to tag along with him to sort this out, but it was clear now that I wasn't needed. He had it under control. So I made my way to the back room and opened a locker, stuffing my backpack inside after grabbing my black V-neck. Hopefully Harry would be done chatting by the time I clocked in and go back out so I could talk to him about the kiss.

I had just pulled on my shirt when my phone beeped. I took it out of my pocket and saw that I had a new text message from an unknown number.

Hey, this is Brett. Thomas told me you're free tonight and wanted to hang out? If you're still interested, let me know.

Oh, God... what did I get myself into? I wasn't being serious when I told Thomas that I was interested in his friend, but of course Thomas didn't know that. I decided just to tell him the truth: that I had to work tonight. I just hoped he didn't push it and text me to reschedule.

Putting my phone back in my pocket, I clocked in and stepped back into the bar. I saw Harry right away, sitting at the bar with a drink in front of him. Jillion was on the other side of the room, taking orders.

"Can we talk about New Year's?" I finally asked, bringing up the topic I wanted to talk about from the beginning.

"You mean the kiss?" Harry asked. "Don't worry about it. You were drunk and it was a celebration."

And I guess that was all to it, really. The big discussion I wanted being summed up in one sentence. Too bad everything else in my life couldn't be that easy.