× Mercury

This was the same coffee house Harry took me on our first date. That had been so long ago and yet everything about the place was the same. There wasn't anything slick about it, no impressive fonts or white cling on drawings stuck to the glass. You could pick the whole thing up and send it back forty years and it wouldn't look out of place.

The three of us sat at a table in the corner of the shop. Once Hazel had dropped her news, we went back inside the café, outside of the cold with warm beverages in our hands, so she could explain everything - her treat.

"I have stage three sarcoma cancer," Hazel started.

The latte in my hand was over-priced and bitter. It sat prettily in a white china cup, a leaf pattern in delicate milky foam among the brown. I watched Hazel as she sipped at hers like it was a great luxury, her fingers wrapped around it, enjoying the heat that spread through her hands.

Jace on the other hand, hasn't touched his cocoa since I placed it on the table for him. He seemed to find his fingers far more interesting than anything else in the room.

"I'm sorry for contacting you like this," Hazel continued. "But I needed to talk to someone who would listen and care."

"What about your parents?" Jace finally spoke, looking up at Hazel for the first time since we sat down. "Where are they in all this?"

"Working," she explained. "They try to be there for me, but that only goes so far. They have to make a living, too. And besides; I wanted to talk to you, Jace. I missed you."

I knew this wasn't a conversation I was supposed to be involved in, but Jace had insisted I stay by his side. Even so, I wasn't going to make it obvious that I was even there. So I paid all my attention on the coffee in my hand and the noises around the shop.

I was obsessed with coffee shops when I lived in California. Part of me romanticizes them in some way. It probably has to do with growing up in a large city with the only real sanctuary for me was in a coffee shop.

Sitting in that room, with no drive through and minimal commotion, it gave me a sense of peace - it gave me a sense of home.

"I took a couple years off of school to figure out what I wanted to do," Hazel said, drawing me back into the conversation. "I thought it would only be a year, but you know how indecisive I am, Jace. While all my friends went off to university in different parts of the world, I was left here in London, alone."

The sadness in her eyes was evident. I fortunately never had the bad luck of losing all my friends, but I could imagine the feeling. Watching everyone you grew up with leave town to start something they had always dreamed about. You were happy for them, of course, but you also couldn't help being a little bitter.

"When I heard that you were still in the city, I was so excited," Hazel continued, a small smile on her lips now. "I always wondered where you ended up, you know that? Learning that you were on the football team here made me happy because I knew that was the one thing in the world that you loved the most. I've spent a lot of time thinking about everything the two of us did together, and I missed those feelings. Jace, I..."

She trailed off then, and I knew, no matter how much Jace would protest, that I was eavesdropping into a conversation for their ears only. I didn't know Hazel and I didn't know Jace when they were together, so I knew that it was my time to leave. At least temporarily.

So I excused myself to the restroom.

I squeezed between the line of students ordering mediocre, lukewarm coffee at the counter before they quickly choke it down as fast as they could for the relief of caffeine running through their veins in order to get them through the next few hours; or at least until their next cup of coffee. I then proceeded to the door of the women's bathroom.

Inside the room, I went straight to the sink and lifted my foot up on the marble stone and examined my ankle, moving it left to right and in a circle as my joints moved against each other. Ever since the team and I got into the BUSA and Coach started playing hardball on us, my ankle had been acting up. Nothing to see a doctor about, but definitely something to keep an eye on.

I stayed in the bathroom for a while to make sure Jace and Hazel had enough time alone before I left. Rounding the hallway, I started back to the corner where the two were sitting only to stop mid-stride.

They were gone.

Quickly looking around the shop, I wondered if a spot had opened up on one of the sofas by the fire and they snagged it before it was occupied again, but they were nowhere to be seen. The only evidence they were even there were the three china cups left on the table.

I took out my phone to text Jace and to ask him where he was, but he had already beaten me to the punch with a text of his own.

Sorry about ditching you; Hazel had to leave and I wanted to talk to her some more. I'll pick you up once she's home.

I heaved a long sigh in irritation. Knowing I had at least twenty minutes to spare, I sat down in the seat I was sitting in before and started playing a game on my phone. Not even three minutes later someone came and took the seat across from me.

I expected to see Jace, that maybe Hazel's house was a lot closer than I anticipated, but I did not expect to see Louis Tomlinson, the Doncaster Rovers player that Niall had punched during a game.

His unruly brunette hair seemed impossibly messy and his cheekbones were as sharp as ever. If I didn't know any better, I would have thought his cocky smile was a permanent thing because as he leaned over the table to look at me with his dull, blue eyes, I could have sworn that grin was on his face even after Niall punched him.

"What are you doing sitting all alone?" he asked, his gaze looking me up and down. "Get stood up?"

I sat my phone down on the table and stared at him, making it known that I didn't like him very much. "What do I owe the pleasure to see you here? Don't you have some harassing to do somewhere else?"

Louis laughed like it was the most hilarious joke in the world, he laughed like we were two old friends reuniting, when in fact none of that was true. "Don't you have some balls to kick or something?"

"Yeah," I agreed with a curt nod of the head. "And they're yours."

The comment didn't crack him, not even a little bit. He was going to play the snarky grin card through and through. "I heard you're in the BUSA. I'd say congratulations, but unfortunately for you, I'm in the BUSA as well, and your achievements stop here."

"You're pretty confident," I observed. "I can't tell if that's poised or arrogance."

"Can't it be both?"

"Sure, but the bottom line is..." I trailed off and leaned closer so I knew he heard every ward and that he knew it was a promise. "We're going to win."

His smile wavered and I think that was the first time in the short time I have known him that he had lost a little bit of his cool, assured front. That was also the first time that I wondered what the real Louis Tomlinson was like, the Louis that was behind his macho façade.

"Don't you live in Doncaster?" I asked as genuinely as I could muster. "What are you doing in London?"

The grin on his face was back, but this time it wasn't necessarily directed at me and more like it was just a habit. "I'm visiting some friends who live here," he answered as he brushed a piece of hair away from his face. "What's you're excuse?"

"I live here...?"

Louis tapped his fingers on the table impatiently. "I know that, I meant what are you doing here, alone?"

I looked around the room, at all the people chatting and drinking coffee, and remembered the reason why I was even there; to see a girl Jace and I who unknowingly had cancer. Seeing all these people living their lives, made me think outside the box, that everything may look nice here, but beyond the surface - beyond the doors of the coffee shop - there are illnesses that can kill. At that very moment, the world seemed a whole lot bigger than I had imagined.

"I came here with someone," I told Louis. "But he had to leave suddenly."

I wasn't sure if he saw something different in my eyes when I turned back to look at him, but his whole face softened like he knew more than he was letting on. "I can give you a ride."

Surprised was an understatement. "Oh, no that's okay," I said. "He said he would come back to get me."

"But I'm here right now," he pressed. "I was on my way out when I saw you. I know I'm not your favorite person, but let me do this for you."

"Why?"

He paused, thinking through his words. "Because I feel a little guilty," he admitted. "About our last game a few months ago. It wasn't ideal for Niall to punch me, but I did deserve it."

Niall never told me the reason why he had punched Louis during the game, and this was my opportunity to find out. But in all honestly, I didn't care anymore. That was months ago and I had completely forgotten about it until I saw Louis face only a few minutes ago. What's done was done, and no matter what Louis might have said to be worthy of a black eye, he was offering me help.

"I appreciate you offering, but I think I'm just going to wait," I told him.

Louis nodded. "Then do you mind if I sit here until he comes back?"

"It's a public place; you have the right to sit wherever you want."

"Do you always have to have a smart response?"

"Do you always have to smirk like you have a secret?"

He paused, looking me up and down. "You always have to have the last word, don't you?"

"Absolutely."

This was a little weird, I had to admit. I didn't know Louis, I knew next to nothing about him, so seeing him like this was a little more than just strange. I've only talked to him once, and he gave me nothing but a challenge, kind of like the way this conversation started. But it was nice to talk to someone like that. I didn't have to worry much about what I said in fear I might be offensive, and vice versa. It was a comfortable rivalry.

A few minutes have passed and Jace walked through the door. When he walked up to me, he stopped and stared at Louis, obviously baffled that I was talking to an enemy.

But it turned out that he wasn't the only one confused.

"Huh," Louis said. "When you said someone, I assumed you meant Niall."

I stood up and grabbed my coat from the back of my chair. I opened my mouth to say something, but Jace interrupted.

"Come on, we should go," he said and started walking away.

However, I didn't move. "You go ahead; I'll meet you at the car." When he looked at me pleadingly, I crossed my arms. "You left me here, the least you can do is give me a minute to finish the conversation."

Jace debated, but he eventually nodded and left the café. I looked at Louis again.

"Why did you assume I was with Niall?"

Louis looked at me dead in the eye, but his face didn't give much away. "Because you two are in love. I just thought you were out on-"

My mouth fell open in shock, the next words he spoke floating away from me. I could have come up with a million and one things he could have said instead, so when I was nearly knocked on my ass from the sudden declaration of an outsider was an understatement.

"I can't - I don't love Niall," I said, trying my best to be as emotionless as I could despite the fact that I had nearly lost my breath from his statement.

"Oh? I just assumed. Disregard everything I just said then," he said with a wave of his hand, like he could just wipe away this whole dialog from our minds.

"Assumed? That's a large accusation to assume. What made you think that we love each other?"

Louis didn't say anything, just stared straight in front of him like he never said anything at all. If it was a different topic of discussion, I would have let it go and move on. But it was a large claim that I most definitely wasn't going to ignore.

"Louis Tomlinson," I scolded and placed my hands on the table so I was staring right at him.

He shrugged, and that was his only response.

I didn't owe him anything. He could think what he wanted, but he couldn't have been more wrong. I couldn't deny the attraction, but what happened between Niall and I last weekend wasn't anything but a release. Thinking it had anything to do with love was completely insane - lock me up in a mental ward, insane.

Shrugging on my coat, I looked at Louis one last time before I left the café. I may always get the last word, but this time I knew it was in my better interest to shut up.

× × ×

"You okay?" Jace asked once I got into the passenger side door of his white Civic.

I laughed as I buckled up. "Shouldn't I be the one asking you that? You were the one who saw an ex after years of no communication to find out she has cancer."

Jace didn't say anything and instead put the car in drive and drove out of the lot. His jaw was set and his knuckles white on the steering wheel. His black hair was a mess and he kept biting his lip.

"I'm sorry," I said into the stiff silence. "I should have been more sensitive."

He shook his head. "It's not you. I just..."

I nodded, knowing what he meant. I couldn't imagine being in his shoes right now. If Bradley came to me saying he had cancer, I wouldn't know what to do. Or even an old boyfriend of mine from high school. Anyone I once knew a long time ago, really. Being put into that kind of situation is tough because you don't want to look like an ass when you don't want anything to do with them anymore, but you also don't want to risk falling into that hole you were once in just for their comfort.

I wish I had the answers for Jace, for the very little I've known him; I knew he deserved the best.

"I just don't want to hurt Jamie," Jace spoke up. "As it is I've been ignoring her, I wouldn't doubt if she hated me."

"She doesn't hate you," I assured. "She's just worried."

He looked over at me, probably to make sure I was telling the truth, before looking back at the road. "I'll tell her about Hazel, but I want to figure out what I'm going to do first. What do you think I should do? Let her go or help her out?"

"That's something you need to figure out on your own, Jace."

"I'm... I don't know. Confused."

"Your head may be confused, but your emotions will never lie to you," I said.

That's what it always came down to, wasn't it? Our minds over our gut. It was a constant war inside our heads that clashes during every conflicting feeling. And as the battle goes on in our head, the more confused we get over the issue, because we try to convince our heads of something our hearts know is a lie.

"I've never really had this kind of thing occur before," Jace confessed. "I mean, things just kind of happen in my life without a choice. And I'm fine with it. At least I know it wasn't my fault when something happens. But now..." he paused, thinking of all the possibilities that would happen to Hazel if he wasn't around. "If something were to happen to her, I'd feel guilty. I can't mess with fate, but at least I could be there with her."

"Do you trust Hazel?" I asked.

Jace shrugged. "Not really."

"Then maybe you shouldn't do this."

I only knew Hazel from the little amount I saw of her in the café and what Jace told me, and I could already tell she wasn't one to be trusted. She had that innocent persona, which wasn't necessarily a bad thing, except when I knew for a fact she wasn't. She knew damn well what she did to Jace years ago and brought him back into it anyways.

Jace laughed suddenly, but it wasn't a humorous sound. "Have I told you that I'm jealous of Niall? If he was in this situation, he'd know what to do right away. He's not moved by emotions like we are, his mind works differently and I wish I was like that."

"No you don't," I said quickly. "Emotions are what make us human, Jace. Niall's a robot when it comes to his mind. Can you image being ruled over statistics for every choice you make? That's not living, that's... being an experiment. Living life without risks, without feelings for the most mundane things, like cats and art, would be so boring. We see the world in color, and he sees it in black and white. Do you really think he's fortunate?"

"He's changed," Jace said. "When you entered his life, he started looking outside the box. I swear he has a heart under that cynical skin of his."

"It's a coincidence."

He looked over at me. "You and Niall would be the perfect balance - the realist and the idealist. He'd keep you from soaring too close to the sun. And with you, he might just get off the ground."