× Mercury

The smell of bacon and onions hung in the warm, thick air as my friends and I sat at the counter inside the Johnny Rockets diner. Conversation spun around them in a mad jumble of laughs and shrieks, only the thunder of motorcycles outside was loud enough to drown the loud sing-songy music from the fifties.

"How's London?" Jamie asked, her strawberry blonde hair falling in perfect spirals around her freckled face.

"Cold," I admitted.

"I don't doubt it," Emily said. Her bronze skin and golden brown eyes were as clear as the California sky outside. "Did you have to go out and buy yourself a winter coat?"

"Actually, no," I said. "Nike was kind enough to give me one for free because I've been wearing their stuff out in public. I guess it was a thank you."

Macey snorted. "I fucking hate that," she said as she flipped through the song titles on the tiny jukebox on the counter. Once a song was selected, she slipped two dollar bills into the slot. "I get free stuff from companies all the time because of my mom. I never use them so it seems like a waste."

Jamie raised her hand. "I'll take what you don't want."

"Stop by my place and it's all yours."

Heartbreak Hotel by Elvis Presley boomed through the speakers, challenging with the sizzle of the hamburgers frying on the grill. A group of bikers in leather and windblown hair walked in and straddled the red seats at the counter a few feet away from us.

"Have you guys heard anything from Lucy?" I asked a little shyly. The last I heard about her was when Jamie called me saying she was pregnant.

"She's doing okay from what I could tell," Emily said. "We don't talk to her as much as we used to when she was on the team, but every once and awhile we chat. I passed her in the hall at campus the other day and she's starting to show."

"Bradley's as much as a dick as he always was," Macey said with her mouth full of French fries.

"He's still not giving Lucy the time of day?"

"Nope."

Jamie tucked a strand of her red hair behind her ear. "Coach Sharp said that if Lucy wants, there would be a spot open for her on the team after the baby is born," she said. "But everyone thinks that she won't take it with new responsibilities and all."

"I honestly can't wait," Macey said with a whimsical grin that made her ever-so-blue eyes sparkle. "Imagine having a little boy or girl running around in baby UCLA clothes like our very own little mascot! Fuck the bear; bears are overrated with the Bruins and the Chicago Cubs."

"Don't forget about the Chicago Bears," Emily added.

"Right!"

I placed my elbow on the counter and leaned my head into my hand as I absentmindedly twirled the spoon in my milkshake. "I'm not too excited to meet the baby," I told them honestly. "I mean, what am I supposed to say? 'Hey, I interrupted your parents when you were being made. And oh, by the way, your father and I were dating at the time."

"Well, then it's a good thing you don't like kids," Jamie said with a grin.

I took a sip of my shake. "I was hoping to see Lucy while I was visiting. But I didn't have any time."

"There's always Christmas break."

"Alright, enough chit-chat about weather and accidental pregnancies and more talk about the drama in London," Macey pressed, leaning on the counter to look at me from around Jamie. Her tattooed arm was on full display. "Spill the dirt right now."

"I don't know," I admitted. "Football is going good. I scored a-"

"Wait, back up," Jamie interrupted, brows raised. "What did you say?"

I thought back to what I just said and couldn't think of anything that would make her interrupt me. But then Emily filled me in.

"Did you just say football instead of soccer?" she questioned, brown eyes bright with amusement. And then she laughed. "You totally did! You're turning into one of them!"

"I did not say football, I said-"

Macey stuck a fry in my face. "Girl, you're converting."

The simple idea of using British words upset me for some reason. Maybe it was because I was beginning to lose touch of my home. This is where everything began for me - where I was born, were soccer started, how I made all my friends. It was stupid, but imagining myself losing where I came from troubled me.

Thank God for Jamie, because she saw the discomfort on my face and changed the topic. "Anything exciting happen over there?"

I silently thanked her with a nod. "A lot has happened and at the same time... nothing."

"That makes no sense." Emily pressed. "What's going on with that Harry dude you told me about? And Niall? There has to be something going on with you and Niall."

A few hours after I had gotten home from my walk of shame the morning after I gave Niall a blowjob, I remembered everything that had happened. The recollection was so vivid that if I was a person who watched porn on the daily, I'd have enough supply in my memory for years.

I stared at the swirly design on the counter top for a solid minute before I finely told them everything, starting with Niall taking my essay and how my revenge backfired, that I got a job at The Courtyard Bar and that I might have destroyed the blooming friendship with Jillian, then how I came to be with Harry and that it didn't work out. I also included them in on the away game and how Niall punched someone for me and later how I broke down crying because of what Bradley had done when he showed up out of the blue, and how he hit Niall in the face. I told them about Halloween and the girl who almost overdosed and then Niall and I overhearing Coach and the chancellor talking about us, how Niall surprised me by bringing Anders to practice, and finally to the biggest mistake of all: the intoxicated blowjob.

When I was finally finished talking, my friends were left with gaped mouths and wide eyes.

"Holy shit," Macey whispered. "I knew you were going through a lot, but damn."

"After everything, especially since now I know the chancellor is keeping a close eye on us, I still can't seem to grasp the concept to stay away from Niall," I acknowledged.

"Clearly," Emily muttered around a mouth full of fries.

"A part of me thinks this is self-destructive, but another part of me things that it's really fucking hot," Macey said, giving me a wicked grin. "The whole idea of getting caught at any moment is just so thrilling. I'm kind of jealous."

I ignored her comment and continued. "We both know it's wrong, but there is obviously something going on far beyond our control."

"You're thinking too much about it. Have you ever thought that maybe that something could be love?" Jamie offered as she dug her spoon into the whipped cream on top of her milk shake.

I laughed in response. "Yeah right."

"Okay, love is great and all, but we are missing the grand question here," Macey said and leaned in close, so close that her shoulder was touching mine and her breath was hot against my cheek. "How big is he?"

"Macey!" Emily shouted.

"What!?" she shouted back, throwing her hands in the air. "It's not like you guys weren't thinking it. I'd like to know what that egotistical blonde dude is packing."

I looked around the little diner from Macey's loud mouth and saw that a few of the bikers that had come in were looking at the four of us with amused grins a few feet away.

"Macey, I think you should keep it down," I said softly. "This is a family diner."

"It's not like I said the word penis or anything," she argued.

The closest biker chuckled at that comment and Macey turned to him, flashing her famous McGrath smile.

Ignoring the exchange and changing the topic, I turned my back on Macey and faced my other two friends. "I've never had much luck when it comes to boys," I said. "Granted, I've only been with three, but this seems different than the other times. It's just... frustrating."

"You know what you need, Lynn?" Emily said. "A way to release that frustration."

Macey wiped the drop of chocolate that was running down the side of the glass of her Sunday and stuck her finger in her mouth. "Sex?"

"No, I'm pretty sure getting laid is the last thing Lynn needs."

"What did you have in mind?" I asked, slightly scared.

Emily just grinned in response.

× × ×

When Emily said that I needed a way to release my frustration, I figured she would take me to a club, or a boxing ring, or at the very least, take me to a yoga class. I did not expect her to bring me to White Point Beach and stand at the edge of the cliff that overlooked the Pacific Ocean.

It was three in the afternoon and the beach below was alive with people eating hot dogs, sunbathing on the sand, and surfing on the calm waves. Even though it seemed to be packed down there, the four of us were the only people who were on the ledge of the world. Out beyond us, the ocean was never ending, nothing in sight but the glittering waters along the horizon and a few seagulls soaring the skies.

"I come here all the time to calm down," Emily explained as she took a few steps until her bare toes dangled over the edge. A few tiny rocks came apart from the foundation and fell down into the ocean. I had to bite my lip from telling her to back away. "Or if I needed some peace and serenity before a big game."

"Does it work to just sit here?" I asked.

It seemed to me that being alone with your thoughts would not be a very good way to relax.

Emily turned to look over her shoulder at me, the sun catching the septum piercing through her nose. "Oh, I don't sit here and do nothing."

Before I had the chance to ask her what she meant, the next thing I knew she was screaming - high and shrill that seemed to go on forever. Jamie, Macey, and I jumped from the sudden noise and looked around in case there was any danger we didn't know about it.

Just as soon as it started, Emily stopped shouting and backed away from the ledge and grinned at me. "Your turn."

"I'm not doing that," I confessed as I looked down at the beach to see some people looking up with curiosity to know what kind of creature would make such a horrible sound. "What if someone comes up here and tells us to leave?"

"Who would do that? We're not doing anything wrong."

"Actually, screaming like this is a criminal offense for disturbing the peace," Jamie input. "We could go to jail or be fined... maybe both."

Emily just rolled her eyes. Emily Martin was tough, strong, aggressive, and could take anyone in a wrestling match, but when it came to Jamie, it was like all that fight just left in a puff of air. Jamie seemed to have that effect on a lot of people, I had learned.

A gust of wind blew by us and shook the tall grass around our bare feet. My shirt fluttered in the breeze and Macey's long, dark brown hair blew over her face like a mourning veil. The smell of funnel cakes wafted our way and a large aquatic animal jumped out of the ocean a few miles out. Everything about that cliff represented everything that reminded me of California, and even though I was still there, I was already missing it.

Sweet, soft spoken Jamie, full of blooming flowers and positive energy stepped forward and, despite everything she said about being arrested and fined, she said, "Can I try it?"

I looked at her a little surprised. I knew Jamie for a few years now and I had not once seen her get angry or shout in antagonism (aside from when she was yelling at Bradley, but I didn't count that). As far as I knew, she lived a simple life with simple pleasures.

"What kind of frustrations do you have?" I couldn't help but ask.

She shrugged, suddenly shy. "It's kind of stupid..."

"If it makes you want to shout at the heavens, then it's not stupid," Emily assured her.

"It's Jace," she said. Her light blue eyes were soft as she looked over at me. "He's being distant and bleak with me and won't tell me what's going on. It's irritating because I just want to help."

"How close are you two, anyways?" Macey asked from beside her.

She shrugged again. "I don't know. We text all the time, or at least we used to until he started acting strange. I really like him but now I don't know what to think." Jamie looked over at me. "Do you know what's going on with him?"

"I'm sorry, Jam," I said and bumped my shoulder with hers. "The next time I see him I'll make sure to kick his butt for you."

"But in the meantime..." Emily said and gestured to the edge of the cliff for her. "The heavens are listening."

Macey, Emily, and I stood back as Jamie did as she said and took a few steps to the edge. A few seconds passed before she finally took a deep breath before letting out the loudest scream I had ever heard come out of her. It was shocking, really, how such a small girl standing only at 4'11" could hold so much loud air inside her like that.

Jamie barely had time to step away from the cliff before Macey was there on the ledge, letting out a long, dramatic shriek that would have scared the crows away.

"That's for my mom," she explained once she was finished. "For never being home and making it impossible to live up to the McGrath name."

"She didn't come home for Thanksgiving like she promised?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

Elizabeth McGrath, famous American soccer player, always broke her promises, especially when it had to do with family gatherings.

Macey's hard, blue eyes found mine. "No. Too busy doing advertising shit, apparently. Gramps was devastated, but everyone else wasn't even slightly surprised she canceled last minute."

"I'm sorry."

She just shook her head sadly. "Eh, what else is new?"

Right then my alarm went off, telling me I had two hours before I had to be at the airport. All my friends were watching me sadly, knowing that our time had finally clocked out. In an hour and a half, I would be on a plane back to London.

When we were young, we used to think that having a lot of friends was a "cool" thing, a sign of popularity. It may be nice to have a lot of friends, but when we are starting to mature, we'll realize that having true friends is more important than having a lot of fake friends.

Emily, Macey, and Jamie couldn't be truer friends.

They are the friends I call up in the middle of the night just to tell them about the dream I had. They are the friends that call me when they are drunk just to ask if I loved them. They are the friends that will laugh at me when I fall, but are also the first ones to pick me up. They are the friends that know everything I've been through and tell them new stories without hesitation. They are the friends that say everything will go okay and mean it.

Looking at the three of them, I knew I had picked good ones. I've never in my life found someone I knew would be timeless, to always be there no matter what. And to leave them now when I had just gotten back home was nearly going to kill me.

"You're not leaving," Emily insisted as she folded her arms over her chest.

"Em, I have-"

"You're not leaving until you scream out your frustrations."

The hardness in her brown eyes told me she wasn't going to back down, so I took a breath and walked to the edge of the cliff.

And then I screamed.