× Mercury

I knew popping those pills wasn't the best idea I ever had, but taking the edge off seemed like a pretty damn good idea at the time.

Especially since I looked over across the living room and saw him, tangled up with a girl wearing a black and white tribal dress. Niall was pushing her against the couch, his mouth hard on hers, and hands tangled in her long black hair. The sight shouldn't have bothered me so much, but it did, and it hurt like hell to see it.

As I stood there with Harry's mouth against my neck, I felt my body grow instantly hot despite the lack of clothing I was wearing. Then almost like someone was continuously adjusting the lighting, the flashing lights in the room would intensify and then go down to a low glow, up and down like the electrical circuits were going haywire. I quickly averted my eyes from Niall and looked at everything and anything but him and the girl, but as I did I got double vision, seeing one thing and another thing at the same time, and I could feel a headache forming at the back of my head.

I placed my hands on Harry's chest and pushed. When he took his lips off my skin, his green eyes were filled with concern.

"You alright?" he asked.

"Yeah," I lied and took a quick peek over at the couch across the room. Niall was no longer in sight and the tribal girl he was with sat there with her ridiculously large, feathered headpiece in her lap, looking around the room. "I just... I think whatever pills I took are really getting to me. I'm going to get some fresh air for a second."

Before I could walk away, Harry gently grabbed my arm. "Should I come, too?"

"No," I said a little too quickly.

Harry looked at me for a couple of seconds before sighing in defeat. He took off his leather jacket and handed it to me. "In case you get cold."

Grabbing the jacket, I muttered a quick thank you and walked away and to the front door. I felt bad for leaving him when he obviously wanted to come with me outside, but I needed to be alone from him right now.

The past week had been wonderful, if I was being honest, which only made me feel worse about everything. He just didn't... feel right for some reason, which sucked on a whole new level because he was actually a really nice guy which was definitely something I needed at the moment.

It was chilly outside, maybe around forty degrees Fahrenheit, but the cold felt good on my hot skin. It was just as busy on the yard as it was inside. Carved pumpkins sat on the steps up to the house that glowed in the night, and fake spider web stuck to the corners of the porch with plastic spiders. There was different music playing from somewhere, a more rap vibe from the sounds of it, and groups of people either dancing, chatting in large circles as they drank their beer, or sitting on the porch passing around a joint.

There were many places to live at the University of Roehampton, like the halls for instance. There were six halls you could live at, but there were so many houses you could rent on campus, kind of like the Fraternities and Sororities in America, just without the common goals and the dreadful rush week.

Dylan and Thomas lived in one of those houses.

As I rounded the house to the backyard, I took Harry's jacket he gave me and pulled it on over my shoulders, the leather smooth against my bare arms.

The Nike costume I was wearing was something I got during my senior year at high school for some lame Halloween party. After being invited to Thomas' party, I called my grandma to see if she could ship me the costume, and a week later it arrived. Along with some hard candies and toiletries I also asked for because I was running low and didn't want to go out and buy them myself.

"Lynn!" a voice shouted and I spun around to see Jillian walking toward me, pulling along a guy I had never seen before by the arm. "Guess who I am!"

Jillian's costume was not mistakable. She was wearing the ugliest skirt I had ever seen that went down to her shins, a black sweater with a matching polka dotted scarf, a gray messenger bag, gray tights with white socks that showed above ratty, old sneakers. Her brown hair was pulled back in a messy bun with her bangs just as unruly.

"Allison from The Breakfast Club," I told her as she came up to me. A wide smile spread on her lips when I guessed correctly. "The skirt and bag gave it away."

"I thought this would be a wicked costume, but that was before the sweater started itching," she confessed. Then, almost like she forgot, she turned to the boy she dragged with. "This is my boyfriend, Alex. I told you about him last Monday."

Alex was wearing a blue hoodie under a matching varsity jacket. His blue jeans were rolled up at the bottom and completed the look with white sneakers. From what I could tell in the dark, he was pretty attractive. He had blonde spiky hair and nice cheekbones and light blue eyes. Or maybe they were hazel, I couldn't tell in the outside lighting.

"Let me guess, you're Andrew Clark," I said, even though I knew I was right.

"I didn't have much choice in the costume," Alex confessed which only made Jillian hit his arm playfully.

I held out my hand for him to take and he shook it firmly in his. "It's nice to meet you, Alex. So far you're okay in my book."

"Yeah, and if I were you, I wouldn't want to get on her bad side," Jillian joked.

I scuffed at her and crossed my arms dramatically. "You haven't even seen me angry."

"No, but I have seen you on the field. That's enough for me."

We stood there for a few more minutes talking before Jillian said she had to pee. I waved at them as they walked away and continued my descent to the backyard, wondering if Harry was looking for me yet.

The backyard was actually pretty cool. There was a hot tub on the patio and a small garden in the corner that looked to have been kept up with, but only dying due to the cold October weather. There were people in the back, too, chatting away. The sliding glass door to the house was open and I could hear the music from inside and the people dancing happily.

I walked the length of the yard and saw something move from the corner of my eye. I looked over and saw an open shed and cautiously started making my way over to it. From the looks of it, the shed was only used for things that wouldn't fit in the house or junk they simply didn't need but didn't have the heart to throw out - a wooden table, a book shelf along with some books, empty picture frames, a couple of chairs, and about two dozen real spider webs. I walked to the back of the shed to see if I could find whatever had moved, but came up with nothing.

Spinning around to exit, something stirred on the ground and I jumped fifty feet in the air with a squeak. A blonde girl was slumped against the plastic crates and boxes, head lulled back like she was sleeping.

"Hey, are you alright?" I asked because I didn't think anyone would go to a shed to take a nap during one of the biggest parties of the year.

When she didn't answer, I quickly squatted down next to her. I asked again if she was okay and gently tapped her cheeks to wake her up. To my surprise, she moaned softly and moved her head, but she looked like she was in pain... or had to throw up.

I started to panic. There were so many drugs and mystery pills being passed around that anything could have gone in this girls system not knowing what would happen. Her skin was shiny from sweat and she was squeezing her eyes shut. She looked sicker and sicker as the seconds passed.

"You need to stay awake for me, okay?" I said in the most soothing voice I could muster. I looked around the shed and peeked out the open door to see if anyone was around to help. "I'm going to go get some help, I'll be right back. But you need to stay awake."

Before I could even move, she started to shake. She was making small grunting noises and I knew her condition was beyond anyone's help at the party.

Almost like someone else took over my body, I removed my phone and dialed the emergency UK number I was told countless times when I first arrived to London. When a lady answered and asked what the emergency was, I told them everything I knew and the address the best I could remember from memory and hung up.

I waited in the shed next to the poor girl for the ambulance to arrive.

× × ×

"This is the police!" someone shouted through a megaphone above the sound of sirens blaring through the night.

I quickly stood up and rushed out of the shed. The people who were in the backyard had quickly scattered, and from the sliding glass door I heard the music cut off and the people inside trying to escape before the cops got them.

As I sprinted around the house, a bright light almost blinded me. Through the whiteness, I saw the cops and men in yellow jackets getting a gurney from the back of their vehicle.

"I repeat! This is the police! Stay where you are! This is an emergency!"

I pushed through the crowd of panicked people with my arms in the air to get their attention.

"Help! Over here!" I shouted, but my voice was lost in the mob. I continued to push until one of the men in yellow saw me and advised his people to follow. "I need help, please!"

"Where is she?" one of the cops said once he got to me, the people in yellow close behind. From over his shoulder I could see more cops trying to gather the crowd to stay where they were, but it didn't seem to be working.

"You need to hurry," I said as I ran over to the shed. "She's shaking and barely breathing."

That was when the cop started asking me a string of questions. What's her name? Do you know what she took? Who did she come to the party with?

"I don't - I have no idea who she is," I admitted. "I just found her like this."

When we got to the shed, I pushed through all the junk so they could get the gurney through and to the blonde girl. When we got to her she was no longer shaking and my breath caught in my throat as one of the paramedics advised me to back up to give them some room.

"Miss, can you hear me?" one of the paramedics asked the girl as they put two fingers on her neck. "Open your eyes."

I continued to back up until I couldn't go any further; staring with the same shock I was in when she started to shake - I was panicked with the grief that I might have been too late.

"Lynn," someone said from the entrance of the shed. I saw Niall standing there, looking at me like I was a broken toy from his childhood. "Let me take you home."

I couldn't leave. I had to know if she was alright. And even if I wanted to leave, I didn't think I could. My feet were glued to the spot. The scene in front of me was too horrific for me to just walk away from, like a destructive car crash or some kind of freak accident instead of a possible overdose.

"Ma'am," one of the cops said who was waiting outside. "You should go. You did the right thing calling us, but there isn't anything else you can do."

When I didn't move, Niall stepped into the shed and gently grabbed my arm and pulled me away from the sight. Before I was out, though, I saw the girl sit up with open eyes and I felt an overwhelming relief as Niall pulled me to his car.

"Her name's Morgan," Niall said as he drove me to my Hall. "We, um... I slept with her once."

The car went quiet after that and my jaw was set. I didn't know why he would tell me that and I really wish he hadn't. Putting a name to the girl's face just makes it a little more personal... and now knowing that she had sex with Niall at one point was just unnerving. It actually surprised me that he even remembered her name. If he really was the Casanova of the university, I'd imagine he'd have a hard time keeping track of names.

As much as I protested saying that I was fine once he pulled up to the Aspen House, Niall insisted on walking me to my dorm. But even then he wouldn't leave. I shrugged off Harry's leather jacket and sat it down on a pile of folded clothes on my dresser and took off my sandals that were killing me for the past half hour.

"Niall, I'm fine," I said a little impatiently. "Really. You can leave now."

"What were you thinking?" he asked from the doorway. He folded his arms over his chest and looked at me with heat in his eyes. "It was really stupid of you to take those pills. You should know better being a football player."

A flicker of a flame inside me lit. "Whoa, okay. I'm pretty sure all I took was some Xanax."

"Pretty sure?" Niall snapped. "That's real comforting."

"I'm not the victim, Niall," I pressed, dropping my sandals and stood in front of him. "If we're playing faults here, then you really shouldn't be talking. Do you think sleeping with all those girls is healthy?"

Niall stepped over the threshold. "That is not what we are talking about here."

"I didn't do anything wrong! Honestly, if I didn't take those pills I wouldn't have needed some air resulting in not finding that girl. She could have died!"

"She could have been you!"

Pause. The air between us had taken on a sudden change then. This wasn't our usual fight. There was something broken about the two of us there in that room. The flame was out, but I wasn't sure that was a bad thing. In a moment like this one - a moment when a single spark could cause something to blow - we couldn't afford to fight with fire.

"I care that you took some fucking mystery pill and didn't think about what would happened next." Niall's eyes were soft as he continued. "This is me caring, not judging."

I had to take a moment to register that Niall Horan openly admitted that he cared for me. It shocked me because all he's done in the past couple of weeks is say hateful things, so I wasn't sure where I stood with him. But this just made it all the worse because now I was even more confused than I was before.

"You're right," I confessed. I raked my hands though my hair, removing the headpiece from my head and dropping it on the floor with my sandals. "It was stupid of me to take those pills. Harry just... I don't know." I trialed off and looked up at him. "I'm sorry."

Niall closed the space between us and held out his arms to me. Keenly, I stepped into him and wrapped mine around his neck as I felt his slip around my waist. I wasn't sure how I was supposed to take this gesture, but instead of thinking too hard about it, I just put my forehead on his shoulder as he ducked his head into my neck, his hair tickling my skin shot Goosebumps up along my arms.

"Don't apologize," he said softly, his hot, minty breath fanning my neck. "Just know better next time."

Just then the door opened and the room was filled with giggles and high testosterone. I quickly broke away from Niall and saw Chloe stumble inside with some guy's arms around her.

"Oh," Chloe said once she saw Niall and I. She tried to gather her composure but there was no denying what she had in mind what to do with this guy. "Um, were we interrupting something?"

"No," I said a little too quickly. "Niall was just-"

That was when I saw the guy Chloe brought to our room. Tall, kind of lanky, with spiky blonde hair and a nice jaw.

"What are you doing here?" I asked Alex.

"I-"

I really didn't care considering it was quiet obvious. I snatched my phone from Harry's jacket pocket on my dresser and hastily ignored Harry's and Jace's million text messages and found Jillian's name in my contacts.

Alex stepped forward and tried to grab for my phone but I pulled it out of his grasp before he could. "Please, don't," he bagged.

"Do you two know each other?" Chloe asked like it wasn't obvious. "How? He doesn't even live in London."

"Give me a reason why I shouldn't call her," I asked Alex, ignoring Chloe.

"Because I'm an asshole," he confessed. He didn't have to tell me something I already knew. "I'm wasted as fuck and I don't even know what I'm doing if I'm being honest. I just found this chick and, fuck, I don't know. Just don't tell Jillian. It'll break her heart."

Chloe stepped up beside me and looked at Alex like he was a piece of hair in her food. "Wait, you have a girlfriend? I will not be your side hoe."

"Please," Alex pleaded, also ignoring Chloe. "I made a huge mistake."

"Cheating is not a mistake," I told him, my finger still on the call button. "If you're truly in love with someone, this wouldn't even be a problem. Cheating is a choice; it's a choice you made because you obviously didn't give a single fuck about your relationship. And being drunk doesn't excuse you from anything, either. If you're so worried about breaking Jillian's heart, then maybe you should have thought about that before coming back with Chloe."

That was what I should have told Bradley when he came to London to see me, but I knew it would have been fruitless. Alex might very well love Jillian and never do this again, but Bradley was a different cause. He didn't love me and he will do it again.

"I won't tell her, but you have to promise me that you will never do this again," I continued. "Jillian is a nice girl and doesn't deserve someone like you."

"Believe me, I know," Alex said and he generally looked sincere.

I got out of my contacts and locked my phone, placing it back on my dresser. "But you have to know that the only reason I'm not telling her is because she needs to see how much of an asshole you are. You have to tell her, or I will," I said and pointed to the door. "Now leave,"

Alex obeyed and left like a puppy that was caught peeing on the rug. If Alex crossed me again, then he better watch out.

"Well damn," Chloe said with a pout. "I really thought I was going to get laid tonight." Then she looked at Niall with a silent question.

"Not a chance," he deadpanned with a straight face.

"Whatever."

I turned to Niall. "You should go, too," I said awkwardly. "It's late and we have classes tomorrow along with practice."

Niall nodded and walked to the door. "Good night, Lynn," he said, and then Chloe cleared her throat from the other side of the room. "And Chloe."

After Niall left, I grabbed my toiletries and went to the bathrooms to take a shower. When I came back to my room in my comfortable pajamas, I found Chloe passed out on her bed still in her sailor costume she was wearing for the party.

As I was pulling back my duvet, Harry's leather jacket caught my eye. I grabbed it started folding it. Under the jacket was the jersey and boxers of Niall's that I never gave back to him from when I stayed the night at his.

I finally got around to washing them but still kept forgetting to give them back to Niall. Even after the wash, they still smelled like him and I wasn't sure if I liked that or not.

I put the jacket down next to the folded clothes and looked at them.

Harry. Or Niall.

I took a deep breath and let out a sigh.