***(Y/N) POV***

"Sit yourself up straight!"

I winced as my mother hissed, nudging me in the ribs a little too aggressively beneath the table for the third time. Immediately, I straightened my posture, even though it seemed to make the pain in my chest worsen. No, it wasn't due to my posture at all. It was the fact that Ichiji was seated directly across from me at the dining table.

He was the same as always. Stoic, still, unbothered. Was this unyielding pain just affecting me? If that was the case it was totally unfair. Maybe I had actually just contracted some exotic strain of aggressive, terminal disease? That would have been far more preferable.

To avoid allowing my gaze to remain on Ichiji, lest my hatred intensified my pain, I let my eyes wander around the table. Reiju seemed to be subtly studying everyone as she silently ate, which wasn't anything new.

Niji was just jabbing the meal before him with his fork, his nose scrunching in barely contained disgust. He'd always been such a picky eater, which was probably why he was such a lanky prick compared to his buffer prick brothers. I hoped he'd eventually take a bite so he'd potentially choke.

Yonji, however, wasn't shovelling food into his gullet like he normally would have been. Instead, he was absently staring off into space with a dazed look on his eye and a small smile on his face. It was obvious why, at least to me. He was thinking about Laoise. It was incredibly jarring to see him this way, because I had always been under the impression that Vinsmokes were some strange, exotic species that couldn't feel emotions.

No, as if. Maybe they're robots? Or just straight up evil? Yeah. That sounds more likely.

"I must say, Judge, your quick thinking really saved us the other night. If you hadn't had your scientific contraptions to snuff out that wildfire, then we would have lost so much more of the forest." My father spoke up, and I immediately turned to analyse the head Vinsmoke's expression.

"Oh, no trouble at all, my friend! We all know how sacred nature is, and I couldn't bear to see it be destroyed." Judge was definitely putting on an act, and a poor one at that as he placed a hand on my father's shoulder. "Such a horrible shame that it still burned so much..."

How can people be falling for this? Like..? Are they stupid? Do I come from a royal line of morons? The fuck?

"Oh, for the love of everything, (Y/N), sit up straight!" Again, my mother nudged me in the side, sounding more exasperated, and I complied despite the harsh ache. Refocusing on my plate, I felt nauseous. My appetite had abandoned me shortly after I had rejected Ichiji, and I could only force myself to eat so much.

Unsure why I did so, I glanced to Ichiji's plate and found that he had also hardly touched his dinner. He was simply parting the food with his fork and kind of pressing it down to make it appear partially eaten. Allowing my eyes to travel further up, I spied my reflection in his shades, and whilst I couldn't be certain due to the tint, I was sure he was looking directly at me.

There was no stopping the slight flinch that accompanied the sharp pang of pain, deep inside of my chest, and I quickly set my cutlery down.
"M..May I please me excused..? I'm not feeling all too well." I asked my mother quietly, and whilst she gave me one of her unimpressed looks, she nodded.

Murmuring my thank you, I got up from my seat and left the dining hall, making sure I got around the first hallway corner at least before I caught myself on the wall with one hand, the other moving to grip the fabric of my shirt over my chest.

This couldn't be permanent, right? I was pretty certain at this point that my open rejection of Ichiji was the cause, but how was that fair? Why should I be given no choice in my own fate? I hated him, with all my heart, so why should I have to choose between suffering as his future wife or this constant agony?

"Awww, is the poor little princess not feeling well?" My teeth grit together the second I heard Niji's deep, taunting timbre from behind me, and I pushed myself back off the wall to continue walking.
"I'm perfectly fine. I just lost my appetite when I saw your face." I bit back, hyper aware that he was tailing me.

"Temper temper, and when I was so concerned for your well being, too? That's not very nice of you." Niji was right on my heels now, and I could see his shadow looming over my shoulder, completely absorbing mine on the stone floor.

It's fine. He wouldn't try anything inside my home. He isn't that stupid.

"So sorry to hear about your precious little trees burning down, by the way. What a pity. Lumber isn't cheap these days." I knew he was just trying to get some kind of a rise out of me, and I hated that it was working. He rubbed me the wrong way something fierce.

"Cut the shit. I know it was all a cover up." I muttered, hunching forward a little in an attempt to put at least a little space between my back and his stupid chest. "I'll figure out what your dad's game is, and I'll get proof."

That hadn't been a smart thing for me to say, and I realised that when Niji reached around to my front, seizing me by the jaw. Pressing himself right up against me, he dwarfed me completely, his chin coming to rest on my shoulder.
"Oh will you now? Such a pretty little face, but no survival instinct. Our tracks are covered, babe. You've lost, so take it like a champ and let things just happen, or you'll come to regret it."

His scent was overpowering in the worst way. It was enough to make me choke, and it was obvious he was doing it on purpose. I wanted nothing more than to spin around and hit him, but, much to my digust, Niji actually did scare me.

"That's a bold statement coming from someone who couldn't even win a single game of chess against me in, what was it? Eight years or so? You're not as strategic as you think you are. I'll find something you bastards missed, and then whatever plan you've cooked up is finished." I spoke through my teeth, wincing a little as his hand tightened around my jaw. Any harder and I'd certainly bruise.

"You wanna play the hero, little girl?" Niji's voice had darkened considerably, and I could feel the growl rumble through his throat as he all but pressed his lips right up against my ear. "Go ahead, but just know that if you screw this up for us I won't hesitate to put you in your place...and that scruffy little nobody you were always reeking of. He's been spending an awful lot of time in Germa lately, so he'd be easy pickins..."

I'm sure he means six feet under. Wait, does he mean Corbin? In Germa?

Before I could formulate a response that didn't involve stammering or some harsh remark that would have him tearing my head clean off, somebody walked past, reaching out to grab Niji by the scruff of the collar and dragging him off of me and along behind.

Ichiji's scent hit me like a bullet to the chest as I finally caught sight of him. He hadn't said a word, and hadn't even glanced in my direction. Niji struggled to keep up as he was towed along by the collar, a scowl on his face.
"Hey?! What the hell are you doing?! Let go, Ich! I'll kick your ass! Hey?!"

Niji's aggressive complaints began to fade once they had turned the corner, but I still stared after them. After Ichiji. A cold sweat broke out across my brow, and whilst I tried to tell myself that it was because of what Niji had said to me I knew that wasn't the case.

That wretched pain exploded from my chest, latching onto every nerve like fire racing through my veins. His face burned into my mind, his scent still ghosting through the air, suffocating me. A sickness churned in my gut. Grief, revulsion, something unbearably twisted. I felt wrong. So impossibly, disgustingly wrong.

Empty.

I truly hoped that Ichiji was feeling at least a fraction of what I was. I wanted him to be suffering. I needed him to be in such a state of agonised, gut wrenching self loathing and physical pain, like I was, but I knew that was asking for far too much. That man was like a machine.

I desperately hoped that Ichiji was feeling even a sliver of what I was. I wanted him to suffer, to drown in the same gut-wrenching agony, the same suffocating self-loathing that tore me apart. I needed him to be in pain - raw, unbearable, all-consuming. But I knew that was a foolish wish. That man wasn’t built to break. He was a machine, cold and unyielding, incapable of feeling the ruin he left in his wake, or the visceral damage our now broken bond was doing.

There is nothing natural about that man. There's something seriously wrong with him...

...Wait...Is Corbin really in Germa..?

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***I have been aggressively hunting a specific acrylic standee of Paulie for months and can only find him on Mercari, which of course doesn't ship to Australia, so I am in deeper depression. I shall wait for my friend to go to Japan so I can beg him to hunt it down for me.

Next Time: Nation of Science***