Sidharth's phone start ringing, he was in bathroom. Sidharth's mom, Revati looks at his phone.

"Sidhaaarth, tera phone baj raha hai. Main baat kar loon kya?", She asks.

"Kiska phone hai, Maa?", He asked sitting comfortably on the commode, applying pressure on his bowel.

"Chu.. dail.. kisi Chudail ka phone hai.. Rukh main baat karti hoon", she said receiving the phone.

"Kya? No.. no.. no.. no..", he screamed.

"Hello..", she spoke into the phone.

"Ho gaya satyanaas!!", Sidharth cried facepalming.

"Ma'am, main Urban Development Bank se bol rahi hoon. Humare bank ne ek naya scheme launch kiya hai. Jis mein aapko humare Platinum Credit card lene pe ek designer Banarasi saree free milegi?", Sana spoke to avoid doubts.

"Wow!! Par Banarasi saree toh maine ek mahine pehle hi kharidi. Suno! Uski jagah Kanchivaram saree dogi?", Revati asks

"Aaa.. zaroor madam", Sana says rolling her eyes.

"Arey wah!! Toh ek kaam karo ek nahi, Teen Platinum credit card de do uske saath ek Kanchivaram, ek Mysore Silk, ek Baandini aur ek Patola Saree de dena.", Revati said.

"Ma'am yeh toh chaar saree ho gaye", Sana says.

"Haan, ek saath teen Platinum card lenge toh ek extra saree de hi sakti ho haina? Main toh pehle paanch puchne wale thi phir bhi..", Revati says.

"Ma'am, main mere manager se baat karke dekhti hoon, if it's possible.", Sana asked.

"Thik hai, aur suno uske saath matching blouse bhi aayega na?", Revati asked.

"Haan, aap chaho toh matching kangan, jhumke aur jhoote bhi denge.", Sana speaks annoyed.

Sidharth flushes the toilet and washes his hands quickly cursing Sana.

"Arey, yeh tum ab bata rahi ho? Suno, main mere kitty party ki auraton ko bhi card lene bolunga but unko na free ki cheezo ke baare mein mat bolna, unko sirf card dena aur mujhe saare free gifts.", Revati says.

Sana disconnects the phone feeling super irritated.

"Hellooo.. hellooo.. oye ladki suno...", Revati screams into the phone.

Sidharth opens the door quickly with a petrified look. His mother stares at him.

"Sunn, abhi ke abhi uss chudail ko phone laga aur bol ki humein uska plan manzoor hai", Revati speaks annoyed.

Hey bhagwaan, shayad us Sharma ki beti ne apna plan bata diya hoga flow flow mein, ab maa jaake papa ko bataiyegi. Phir papa taane maarenge alag se.

"Mom ismein meri koi galti nahi hai yeh uska hi plan tha. Maine toh pehle hi mana kiya tha ussey. But usne mujhe lalach deke phasa liya...", He says sweating heavily.

"Arey, yeh lalach thode hi hai. Ab woh log apna faida dekhenege toh humko bhi maximum faida utta lena chahiye. Sunn papa ko mat batana, unko hum surprise denge.", Revati says.

"Huh? Surprise nahi Maa, shock bolte hai usse", he says.

"Jo bhi hai, tu plan ko compromise mat karna. Main aisa sunehra mauka choddna nahi chahti. Sharma ki biwi ke chaati pe chhoori chalaungi ab..", Revati says with a smirk.

"Okay, Maa. Aapka support hai toh mera kaam aur aasaan ho jaayega.", He says.

"Mera raaja beta. Ab jaldi soja. Kal tujhe uss chudail se milna bhi toh hai.", She says.

"Hmm.. okay Maa.", Sidharth agrees.

Puff.. Issey kehte hai baal baal bachna.. humein toh bahut bhay tha ki Shrimaan Sidharth kahi apne mukh se Sana ke saath palaayan karne ka yojna apni maata ko na bata de.. kintu abhi apghaat purn roop se tali nahi hai.. inki bhraanti (arthath confusion) abhi dur nahi huyi hai..

Sidharth waits until his mother was gone and immediately calls Sana.

"Hello Ma'am, we are very sorry. Humara wo plan cancel ho gaya hai.", Sana said.

"What? Oye, tune bhaang chadda rakha hai kya? Mujhe bole bina cancel kar diya plan?" He scolds

"Oh! Tu hai, mujhe laga teri maa hai. Plan change wange nahi kiya. Woh toh teri maa ke aage tele-caller bann gayi thi.", Sana clarifies.

"Toh yeh baat hai. Mujhe laga pakde gaye ye sochke ki tune meri maa ko sab bata diya.", Sidharth sighs.

"Main Shastri nahi hoon, Sharma hoon. Jo apna dimaag istemaal karna jaante hai.", Sana says

"Oye chamgaadar, band kar apna Sharma puran aur bol tune phone kyu kiya tha. Teri phone ki wajah se chain se potty bhi nahi kar paaya.", He complains.

"Chee.. itni raat ko potty kaun karta hai?", She asks.

"Tu kya mahurat dekh ke bathroom mein kadam rakhti hai? Pressure build huyi toh chala gaya.", He says.

"Achcha sunn be Shastri ke launde, zara chupke se bahar milna aake mujhe.", She says.

"Kyu? Bhagaa raha hoon kaafi nahi hai jo ab raat ko boyfriend wala kaam kara rahi hai mujhse?", He says.

"Oye, tu kya 6 mahine mein paida ho gaya tha jo bina sabar kr puri baat sunne bina khudh se soch leta hai sab. Meri kya itne bure din aaye hai ki mai tujhse ishq ladaau?", She asks.

"Arey, chodd!! Bandar kya jaane adrak ka swaad. Tujhe kya pata kitni saari ladkiya jaan chiddakti hai mujhpe?", He praises himself.

"Ye muh aur masoor ki daal. Itna jaan chiddakti hai toh teri ek bhi girlfriend kyu nahi hai?", She asks.

"Tujhe kaise pata nahi hai? Bahut saari hai.", He says.

"Achcha? Maine toh kabhi nahi dekha..", she says.

"Tu kya meri maa hai jo tujhe bata ke girlfriend rakhunga?", He asks.

"Achcha tu apni maa ko bata ke girlfriend rakhta hai? Wah kya sanskaar hai Shastris ke!!", She taunts

"Oye Sharma ki beti, mere sanskaar pe mat jaa. Teri tarah ghar se nahi bhaag raha main. Bhagodhi", he taunts in turn.

"Haan, bhaagega bhi kaise? Uske liye jigar chahiye, jo sirf Sharmas mein hota hai. Tere jaise fattu kaise bhaagega?", She teases

"Khaamosh!!", He says.

"Oye Shatrugan Sinha ki aulaad. Chal jaldi se neeche aaja. Mujhe mere kapade dene hai tujhe. Main itne saare kapde leke nahi jaa sakti. Mere gharwalon ko shak ho jaayega.", She says.

"Main kya tujhe coolie nazar aata hoon jo tere kapde utta ke lauga? Tu apna samaan khudh leke aa..", he tells.

"Toh ye body kis liye bana rakha hai, bas girlfriends banane ke liye?, She asks.

"Toh kya tere samaan uttaane ke liye banaye hai?", He argues.

"Toh kya main bina kapdon ke ghar se bhaagu?", She asks

"Kya? Chii.. sharm karle Sharma ki beti.. Aisa irada hai toh main nahi bhaagunga tere saath.", He says.

"Huh? Oye, dimaag ke paidal.. main luggage ki baat kar rahi hoon. Tu kya bina luggage liye bhaagne wala hai?", She asks.

"Haan, Tere saath ghar basaane thode hi jaa raha hoon, jo apna samaan saath mein loon? Tujhe chodke waapis aana hai bas", he says.

"Oye, Delhi jana hai koi bagal waale mohalle nahi joh bina luggage chalega. Kam se kam 3-4 kachche hi rakhle. Ek hi mein kitne din kaam chalayega?", She asks.

"Aa... Haan pata hai, jyada lecture mat jhaad.. apna luggage rakh lunga..",  he says.

"Thik hai, toh apne chaar kapdon ke saath mere bhi do-chaar rakhle.", She says.

"Huh!! Thik hai rukh aata hoon neeche", he agrees finally. He slowly sneaks out of the house in dark to meet her near the backyard corner of the fence between Sharma's and Shastri's house.

His jaws drop looking at her walking in her night suit - spaghetti top and shorts.

"Oye, muh band kar, machchar chala jayega.", Says Sana to bring him back.

He pretends himself to be yawning.

"I was just yawning. Itne raat ko bhulaayegi toh ab yawn bhi na karu haan?", He says.

"Chodd usse, aur yeh pakad.", She says giving him a bag.

"Itna heavy?",  He says.

"Ghar se bhaag rahi hoon toh 2-4 kapde toh honge hi na? Sleepover pe nahi jaa rahi ki ek night dress leke jao aur ho gaya..", She says.

"Sleepover? Kiske saath?", He asks.

"Meri friend Poonam ke saath. Par tujhe kyu itna interest hai ki main kiske saath jaati hoon?", She questioned.

"Mujhe kya lena dena? Main toh aise hi general knowledge ke liye puch raha tha.", He stammered.

"Achcha? Aise sawaal bhi puchte hai UPSC exams mein?", she says sarcastically.

"Haan, puchte hai. Par tujhe kya lena dena? Tu toh junior college ke khatam hote hi bhaag rahi hai ghar se", He speaks annoyed..

"Huh! Tune Shastri ki tijori looti?", She asks.

"Oye, yeh looti kya hota hai, pura ka pura thode hi uttana hai. Sirf thode se paise uttaunga - train ke ticket aur baaki ke chotte motte kharch ke liye.", He says.

"Ticket maine online book kar diye hai already. Tu bas railway station pahuch jaana 4:30 baje kal.", She says.

"Tu toh bahut tezz nikli. Itna sab kar rahi hai toh akele hi bhaag jaati. Meri madad kyu chahiye tujhe?", He asks.

"Akeli ladki khuli tijori ke jaise hoti hai. Tujhe main apna body guard banake le jaa rahi hoon.", She tells.

"Hmm.. tujhe bodyguard ki kya hi zarurat? Teri zubaan toh kaichi ki tarah chalti hai. Bandha wahi kat ke marr jaayega tere shabdon se..", he says.

"Achcha? Tu toh abhi bhi sahi salamat hai? Tu kya lohe ka bana hai?", she says.

"Tu ghum phirke mere pe hi kyu aati hai?", He asks..

"Kaun? Kaun hai waha?", A voice comes from behind Sana. And Sidharth ducks immediately behind the bushes.

Hey bhagwaan!! Kalah mein samay vyarth karne ka parinaam yahi hota hai. Ab yeh vyakti kaun hai?

________________________

To be continued.. ❤️❤️