Yeh kya anyaay hai Sana Sharma, aapne humko, mera matlab Sidharth ko 4 baje ka samay batakar aap swayam 4:10 ko aa rahi hai. Hmm.. waise bhi Sidharth aapse do kadam aage hai samaypalan (punctuality) mein. Woh toh abhi tak nahi aaye.

Sana looked everywhere and sat on the platform looking at her phone. Sidharth arrives after 5 minutes.

Sana: Teri pass ghadi naam ki cheez hai ki nahi?

Sidharth: Nahi hai.

Sana: Kyu tere baap ka darzi ka kaam thapp ho gaya kya?

Sidharth: Oye halwaai ki aulaad, tere baap ko bol tujhe karela aur neem khilana band kare. Puri chinni sirf apne customer ko hi na khilaaye, tujhe bhi thoda de de.. jab bhi muh kholti hai kadwa hi bolti hai.

Sana: Halwaai kisko bola be?

Sidharth: Darzi kisko boli be?

Sana: 4 ko bola tha aur tu 4:15 ko aa raha hai, pata hai main 3:45 se tera yaha intezaar kar rahi thi.. itni der wait kar kar ke dimaag ka dahi ban gaya hai.

Hmmm.. ji devi ji.. hum gadhe hai..

Sidharth: Achcha? 3:45 ko aayi tu?

Sana: Haan, aur nahi toh kya?

Sidharth: Kyu tere paas ghadi nahi hai jo mujhe 4 baje bulaake khudh 3:45 ko aayi? Halwaai ka business thapp ho gaya?

Sana: Pehle toh late aaye aur phir mujhe hi sunna rahe ho?

Sidharth: Tere faaltu bakwaas sunne nahi aaya.. Jis kaam se tune mujhe bhulaya woh bol fatafat..

Sana: Haan, thik hai. Tujhe Sharmas se badla lena hai na pakka?

Sidharth: Tu kya hai be? Tu bhi toh Sharma ki beti hai.. tujhe meri kab se chinta hone lagi? Kahi tujhe yeh toh nahi pata chal gaya ki tu adopted hai?

Sana: Chup be, meri shakal mere baap se milti hai, adopt karne ka sawaal hi nahi utthta.. Tujhe meri baat sunni hai ki nahi bol? Warna kalti maar yaaha se..

Sidharth: Bhaddak kyu rahi hai? Sharmas pe barosa karna thoda mushkil hai, isiliye doubt aaya. Haan, badla lena hai. Especially tere uss saandh jaise bhai se.

Sana: Oye!! Saandh kisko bola be? Tu jalta hai mere bhai ki eight pack body dekh ke.

Sidharth: Tenga..! Main nahi jalta usse..

Sana: Rehne de! Sab jaanti hoon..

Sidharth: Tu mujhe badla lene mein bhi help karegi par Sharmas ki waqalat bhi karegi? Kya locha hai? Kahi mujhe badla naam ka biscoot dikha kar dagaa toh nahi karegi?

Sana: Tu apne aapko kutta samajhta hai jo main tujhe biscoot dikhaungi?

Hey prabhu! Yeh kaisa atyachaar hai hum logo pe.. Sharma ji ki suputri ne, Shastri ji ke suputra ko kuch avashyak baat karne hetu bulaaya kintu inka vishwa yudh samapth hone ka naam hi nahi le raha. Aur kitni pratiksha karni padegi?

Sidharth: Toh seedhe seedhe point pe aa..

Dhanyawaad Srimaan Sidharth aapka.. Aasha hai ki ab Kumaari Sharma seedhe vishay par aayengi..

Sana: Dekh tu mujhe ghar se bhaga ke le jaa.. Sharmas ki naak kat jaayegi aur woh kisi ko muh dikhaane laayak nahi rahenge.

Sidharth: Kya? (Shocked) Rukh jaa abhi mental hospital ko phone lagata hoon. Sharma ki beti paagal ho gayi yeh news sunkar Sharmas ki izzat ka falooda ban jaayega..

Sana: Abey! Tu paagal, tera pura khaandaan paagal.

Ji nahi mahodaya, aap dono nahi, hum hai sabse badhe murkh joh aapki utt-pattang baat sunn rahe hai..

Sidharth: Sunn be paagalon ki malika, main chala.. bye..

Sana: Rukh jaa.. soch toh sahi, mere ghar se bhaag jaane se Sharmas ki kitni beizzati hogi.. best badla hoga yeh.. phir tera baap tujhe kabhi Sharma ke bete ki example bhi nahi dega..

Sidharth: Oye badla lena hai, shaheed nahi hona.. tujhe bhagaunga toh main bhi toh phas jaunga. Tera saandh jaisa bhai mujhe maar daalega.

Sana: Abey fattu, abhi toh tu mere bhai ko tenga bol raha tha aur ab tu darr raha hai.

Sidharth: Oye fattu kisko bola be? Tere bhai ke jaise chaar laundo ko ek saath maar sakta hoon.

Sana: (chuckles) Haan haan rehne de.. main koi doodh peeti bachchi nahi ki teri fictions ko maan jaau..

Sidharth: Waise main tujhe kyu bhagau? Ismein tera kya fayda? Tere baap ne tujhe disown kar diya kya?

Sana: Actually, mein 2 mahine pehle college ki taraf se Delhi gayi thi, youth fest ke liye. Waha mujhe ek launda pasand aa gaya. Usko bhi main pasand hoon. Waise bhi 18 ki ho gayi, isse pehle mera baap kisi aur se meri shaadi kar de, maine socha main hi surprise de doon..

Sidharth: Achcha? Madam ko apne aashiq ke saath shaadi karni hai. Ladki main bhagau aur shaadi koi aur kare?

Sana: Kya matlab tera? Toh kya tujhse shaadi karu?

Sidharth: Nahi re baba, apne itne bure din bhi nahi aaye ki main tujh jaisi daayan se shaadi karu.

Sana: Daayan hogi teri amma. Tu sunehra mauka gawa raha hai Sharmas se badla lene ka.

Sidharth: Tu khudh bhaag ja phir.. mere saath hi kyu bhaagna hai tujhe? Ya phir tere aashiq ko bol. Kis nalle se pyaar kar baiti jo tujhe khudh nahi bhaga sakta?

Sana: Ajeeb insaan hai tu.. meri aur meri khaandan ki beizzati ki.. Ab tu Rahul ko bhi beizzat karega? Agar uske baare mein kuch bhi ulta seedha bola na toh tera muh todh dungi.

Sidharth: Abey 4 foot ki hoke itna confidence? Haat toh laga ke dekh, tera haat na thod doon?

Sana: Itna himmat hai toh bhaga ke dikha na mujhe. Fattu kahi ka..

Sidharth: Jaa bey..

Sana: Thik hai jaa.. main khudh hi bhaag jaaungi.. par khabardhaar kisi ko bataya toh..

Arey arey yeh kya? Kumari Sana sach mein jaa rahi hai aur yeh Shastri ji ke bete, khade khade unko jaate huye dekh rahe hai.

Sidharth: Oye Sharma ki beti, rukh jaa..

Sana turns around.

Sana: Kyu be Shastri ke launde? Kya hua?

Sidharth: (runs towards her) Tu sach mein bhaagegi na?

Sana: Haan! Main teri tarah koi fattu thode hi na hoon. Ek baar soch liya toh usko karke hi dum leti hoon.

Sidharth: Thik hai, main teri bhaagne mein help karunga. Tera kya bharosa kahi tune apna mann change kar liya aur waapis aa gayi toh. Mera badla toh pura hote hote reh jaayega.

Sana: Chalo typical Shastri ke dimaag se hattke kuch toh dimaag chalaya tumne..

Sidharth: Chal atleast tu maanti hai ki Shastris ke paas dimaag hai warna mujhe laga tu humko bhi Sharmas ki tarah bina dimaag wala insaan samjhti hogi. Isiliye abhi keh deta hoon, tu na tera muh sirf khaana khaane ke liye hi khola kar.

Sana: Oye! Tu toh aise baat karta hai jaise tere muh se shehad ki ganga behti hai.. tu jab muh kholta hai toh gutter kar deta hai.

Aap dono ke muh se kya nikalta hai yeh toh aap dono ko hi gyaat hoga, par humein yeh avashya gyaat hai ki aapke ye madhur madhur vachan sunkar humare kaano mein se lahu aur netron se ashru behne lagti hai..

Sidharth: Haan gutter nikalta hai.. Samne waale ke preference ke hissab se mere muh se ya toh shehad ya gutter nikalta hai. Aur tujhe toh pakka gutter hi pasand hoga.

Sana: Tu aise ladega toh main bhaagneka plan drop kardungi..

Sidharth: Achcha hai.. Rahul ke sarr se chudail ka saaya hatt jaayega..

Sana: Aur tera badla adhura reh jaayega..

Sidharth: Arey, haan yaar.. Bol kab bhaagegi?

Sana: Aaj raat.

Sidharth: (shocked) Kya? Itni short notice? Aaj hi tere exams khatam huye na? Results tak toh wait kar le..

Sana: Paagal hai? Uske liye 1 mahine hai. Main nahi wait kar sakti.

Sidharth: Achcha dekh.. atleast kal shaam tak toh time dede.. tu apne Rahul ke saath set ho jayegi par mujhe toh waapis aana haina? Sharmas ka uttra hua muh dekhne. (Smiles) Toh ghar pe mujhe bahana banana padega ki itne din kaha tha..

Sana: Hmmm.. Thik hai. De diya kal tak ka time. Chal apna phone number de, kahi aaj ki tarah late aaya toh puchne ke liye phone karna padega na.

Sidharth: Hmm.. rukh tujhe main miss call deta hoon.

Sana: Par uske liye tere paas mera number hona chahiye na?

Her phone starts ringing. It showed the name "Lafanga". She lifts her head and looks at him in shock. He closes his one eye, biting his tongue on being caught.

Sana: Tere paas mera number hai?

Sidharth: Woh... Aaa..

Sana: Toh woh tu tha jo mujhe itne din chichorre messages karke satha raha tha.

Sidharth: Haan, main hi tha.. Sharmas ke naak mein dum karne mein mujhe bahut maza aata hai.

Sana: Maza?? Main isse police mein dene wali thi, soch kitna maza aata na jab tere kuley pe police ke dande padte.

Sidharth: Cheee.. Yeh kaise ashleel baat kar rahi hai, sharam nahi aati tumhe?

Sana: Achcha? Rukh tere bhejhe huye messages dikhau tujhe?

Sidharth: (gulps) Mujhe late ho raha hai. Main tujhe baad mein message karta hoon..

Sana: Phir se message?

Sidharth: Arey, waisi wali nahi, bhaagnewali..

Sana: Thik hai.. sunn Shastri se paise maang ke lana zarurat padegi.

Sidharth: Kyu? Main nahi maangne wala. Phirse Sharma ke bete waale taane marenge. Isse achcha tu Sharma se paise maangle.

Sana: Achcha? Kya bolu? Papa mein ghar se bhaag rahi hoon paise dedo? (Speaks dramatically spreading her palms infront of him)

Sidharth: (laughs) Sharma ko heartattack aa jayega. (Pauses) Sunn tere bhaagne se Sharma ko kahi sach mein heartattack na aa jaaye.

Sana: Arey nahi aayega, pechle mahine hi full body check karwaya tha. Ek dum fit and fine hai woh.. tu bas paise le aana..

Sidharth: Thik hai, par maang ke nahi laa sakta, apne hi ghar daaka daalna padega aaj raat.

Sana: Aaye haaye!! Aisi baate na kar pagle, kahi mera dil na aajaaye tere pe.

Sidharth: Kya? Tere dimaag ka checkup kab karaya tha tune last?

Sana: Kyu?

Sidharth: Tera dil aise kaise daaka daalne wale pe aa sakta hai? Kahi Rahul koi criminal toh nahi?

Sana: Arey chup! Daaka daalne pe nahi, Shastri ke khazaane pe dhaaka daalne se dil aajayega..

Sidharth: Kitni kamini hai tu.. Shastris se itni dushmani..

Sana: Achcha? Tu kaunsa Sharmas ke liye punya ka kaam kar raha hai?

Sidharth: Sharmas ko saza dena koi punya se kam nahi hai. Jeena haram kar rakha hai Sharmas ne. Kabhi kabhi mere baap pe doubt hota hai ki kahi tera bhai mere baap ka beta toh nahi. Kyuki mere baap ko mujhse jyada bas Sharma ka beta hi dikhayi deta hai.

Sana: Oye!! Tu mere maa ke character pe sawaal utta raha hai ab.

Sidharth: Chup! Teri niyaat hi kharab hai. Mein hospital mein adla badli ki baat kar raha hoon aur tu maa ki character pe pahuch gayi..

Sana: Huh!! Meri niyaat kharab nahi hai, teri logic fail hai. Tera birthday December mein hai aur mere bhai ka May mein toh adla badli kaise hota?

Sidharth's phone starts ringing.

Lijiye.. aa gaya phone Shastri ji ka ab Shrimaan Sidharth Shastri ke kaan pakenge aur humein praapt hoga inn dono ki nokh-jokh se thodi der ke liye vishraam.. kintu aap kahi jaayiega nahi, kyuki hum bahut jaldi aapse phir bhet karenge bas pustak ke agle panne par. Dhanyawaad.. 🙏

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To be continued.. ❤️❤️