"Oye Sid, tu kar kya raha tha yaar? Badle ke aaddh mein smooch kaun karta hai? Normal log baal nochte hai ya laat, gussa ya thappad jadte hai.. tu toh usse khudh thappad khaa ke aaya..", said Lalit.

"Woh... Woh.. Woh normal ladki nahi hai.. woh na.. Sonakshi Sinha hai..", said Sidharth.

"Achcha? Ab woh tujhe itne achchi lagne lagi ki tu usse celebrity se compare kar raha hai.. Manohar, hum logon ko naya leader chahiye humare abla mardon ko nyaay dilaane ke abhiyaan ke liye..", said Lalit.

"Main toh pehle hi samajh gaya tha ki chora haat se gayo.. jab isne usko shaadi ke liye haan bola tabhi saara maamla saaf ho gaya tha.. huh!! Sonakshi Sinha hai..", huffed Manohar..

"Oye gadho ke sardaar.. Main celebrity ka baat nahi kar raha.. mera kehne ka matlab tha ki usko bhi Thappad se darr nahi lagta, pyaar se lagta hai.. dekha nahi usko kaise chummi dene par gussa aa gaya?", Explained Sidharth.

"Haan dekha.. infact abhi bhi dikh raha hai tere gaal pe.. uske haaton ke nishaan.. kahi yeh Bruce Lee ki amma toh nahi hai na?", Asks Lalit

"Arey woh sab chhodd aur yeh bata ki kis mein jyada maza ayaa? Kiss mein ya thappad mein?", Teases Manohar..

"Arey, ladkiyon se toh nafrat karta hai na tu.. toh shayad yeh tera pehla kiss tha.. hai ki nahi?", Asks Lalit in a teasing tone.

A slight blush appears on Sid's face but he immediately controls.

"Apne motto ke liye kiya.. samjhe na?", Said Sid.

"Phir bhi.. kaisa tha?", Asked Manohar.

"Haan haan, bol na Sid kaisa tha?", Asks Lalit.

"Abey yaar, tum log bhi na.. it was just a peck.. smooch thode hi tha? Kuch feel kar paata isse pehle hi usne thappad jadh diya..", said Sid holding his cheek.

"Matlab agar woh thappad na maarti toh tu maze leta, haan?", Teases Manohar.

"Chupp ho jaao saalo.. tum log toh aise chhedd rahe ho jaise ki main uske pyaar mein hoon.. Hum log badla le rahe hai.. samjhe? Ab jaao apna kaam karo.. waise bhi chummi ke baad usne bola ki woh khudh reject kar degi.. toh it's a closed chapter now.. khush ho jaao.. jaao", yells Sidharth.

Both Manohar and Lalit frown and leave. Sid looks around and then smiles with blush which he had been controlling for a long time. He looks into the mirror and caresses his red cheek. He then stares and touches his lips reminiscing his first and the shortest kiss.

Control Sid control! Apne doston ko toh jhoot bol diya ki badle ke liye kiss kiya par sach toh kuch aur hi hai.. uske gulaabi hont ko dekh kar spontaneously ho gaya sab.. Ab aur disha nahi bhatakna hai.. samjhe?

"Thank you Sonakshi.. mera help karne ke liye.." he said looking at the poster on the wall which had given him the idea instantly earlier.
.
.
.
"Amma, manne nahi karni uss chore se byaah. Usko phone laga deti su, tu bas manna kar de..", said Sana

"Thaara akal ke ghaas charne chalo gayo. Tu samajhneki koshish kar chori.. thaari umar ki saari ladki byaah karke do bachchon ki amma ban gayi. Tu maare chhaati pe kib tak baiti reh ve?", Said Saraswati in emotional tone

"Toh kaunsa teer maar liyo, do do baalakanu paida karke?", Said Sana. Saraswati was still sulking badly.

"Amma.. Thaare chaati pe kaha? Mein toh thaare palang pe baiti su.. ", Sana joked to make her mother smile but it didn't bring even a slightest of smile instead her mother started weeping more.

"Log manne bhala bura bolenge. Thaare baapu toh aaram se jail ki roti thode hai, maahre upar ghar ki saari jimmedaari aa gayi, jo nibte na nib sake maahre se. Thaare ko byaah na karni toh manne zeher de de, phir thanne rokhne wala koyi na hoga..", Sarswati spoke in between her constant sulks.

Sana had been watching her mother cry eversince her childhood due to her father's atrocities. All she ever wished was for her happiness. Eversince her kissing encounter with Sid, she had been nagging and trying to convince her mother to reject the proposal but her mother was very adamant. All her mother said was that if she rejects him, she can never find another groom like him for her in future.

Sana cursed him from within for accepting the proposal and herself for being helpless and weak infront of her  mother's tears.

"Rona band kar amma. Thaari khushi ke baaste kar lungi uss chore se byaah..", she said in a disheartened and low tone.

"Khaa maahre sarr ki kasam..", said her mother.

"Thaare sarr ki kasam.. ib rona band kar de..", whined Sana.

"Ib toh siddhe thaare bidaayi mein rooyegi thaari amma.. manne thaare byaah ke baaste tayaari bhi karni se..", said her mother with a smile.

Saraswati wiped her tears while smirked thinking.
Maahre beti pe maahre aasu hi brahmaastra ka kaam kare se..

Sana rolled her eyes and thought.
Le haan karte hi, ek minat mein Lalita Pawar ki aatma bahar nikal gayo.. thik hi se.. ib maahri amma nahi, amma ka jamaai saari umar rovego.. byaah karne pe pachtaavego ib tu..
.
.
.
Lalit was brushing his beard with shaving foam near the sink outside the toilet when his phone starts ringing. He presses the receive button and turns on the speaker looking at the unknown number on the screen.

"Kaun hai be subah subah?", Speaks Lalit in an irritated tone after yawning and continues brushing his beard still half asleep.

Farting sound comes from the toilet.

"Main hoon yaar.. shanti se potty bhi nahi karne dete..", said Manohar in a staggered voice putting pressure on his bowels.

"Abey tere liye nahi.. phone pe bol raha hoon.. Aur tu apne pichwaade ki volume kam rakh.. meri tutti footi neend ko distirb kar raha hai..", Lalit said to Manohar and resumed applying foam on his face. There was no reply on the phone yet.

"Abey bolega bhi ki nahi? Ek toh saari raat machchar ne sone nahi diya, ab yeh pata nahi kis chamgadhar ki aulaad ne subah subah pareshan karne ke liye phone kiya.", He mumbled in annoyed and complaining tone. He yawns again and shuts his eyes.

"Lalita behen?", Saraswati asked in a hesitant and meek voice.

Lalit took a pause.

"Kaun?", He asked in a doubtful tone.

"Main Saraswati..", she replied. Lalit's sleep vanished completely as he fling opened his eyes in shock. He froze for a second realising what all he cursed few minutes back in his male voice.

"Helloo.. helloo..(said Saraswati)

Ke hua amma? (asked Sana)

Pata nahi.. kisi marad ki awaaz thi.. gaali de raha tha.. ib pata nahi kuch sunaayi nahi de raha.. tanne shayad galat number laga diyo..(said Saraswati)

Number shahi lagayi se manne.. shayad craass kannection ho gayo hogo.. kaat de.. (suggests Sana)"

They disconnect the phone and Lalit sighs in relief. The phone starts ringing again. He gulps the saliva in fear again looking at the screen and runs to room where Sidharth was sleeping on his cot with a blanket covered over his face.

"Sid.. Sid.. utt na.. Sid..", Lalit shook his sleeping figure.

"Arey yaar sone de na.. pehle machchar pareshan kar raha tha.. ab tu..", Sidharth says in an annoyed tone.

"Abey utt jaa.. teri saas ka phone hai..", says Lalit

"Raat ka piya abhi tak nahi utra kya tera? Meri shaadi kab huyi jo yeh saas paida kar diya tune?", Sid mumbled in a sleepy voice.

"Abey uss nakchadi ki maa ka phone hai", said Lalit.

"Hmmm..", hums Sid in his sleep before he stirs to his side and resumes snoring subtly.

"Abey kamine utt, Sana ki amma ka phone hai..", Lalit kicks Sidharth's butt with his knee.

"Sana?", Sidharth fling opened his eyes in shock. He pulled his blanket and sat straight at once.

"Ki Amma bhi bola maine woh sunayi nahi diya? Teesri baar baj raha hai", he shows his phone.

"Toh.. toh.. toh utta na..", Sidharth fumbled.

"Mujhe nahi utthana.. waise bhi subah subah bina chai piye meri patli auraton wali aawaz nahi niklegi..", said Lalit.

"Abey toh phir Manohar ko bol..", said Sidharth.

"Abhi filhaal uska sirf pichwaade bol raha hai.. toilet mein hai woh.. aur tujhe pata hai na usko constipation hai toh pau-ek ghante tak woh bahaar aane se raha..", said Lalit.

"Abey, toh main uski maa se kya baat karu?", Asked Sidharth

"Toh kya sirf beti se hi baat karega? Natak kar rahe hai samjha? Toh karle baat.. bol teri maa kitchen mein busy hai aur tera baap toilet mein.. waise bhi tera karaya hai sab.. hum toh wahi mana kar aate uss din.. tune hi haan bola, phir chummi li aur thappad bhi khaya.. main chala.. mujhe office jaldi nikalna hai, Monday ko kitna kaam hota hai tujhe pata hai...", spoke Lalit in frustration and left to finish his shaving.

"Arghhhh...", Sidharth looked at the phone which rang for the fourth time now. He presses the receive button to answer.

"Helloo..", he speaks in a extra sweet tone.

"Hello hello ke bole se.. itni dher ke ghobar uttaane gaye tha jo phone uttane mein tame nahi tha?", Sana spat in anger.

"Nahi.. Tumhaare sapne dekh raha tha meri jaan..", he flirts..

"Achcha? Zarur akhaadhe me mhaare se pitt raha hogo..", said Sana.

"Haan.. sahi pehchaana.. akhaadha hi ho raha tha.. par miadaan mein nahi.. hamare kamre mein.. Suhaagrat ke sapne dekh raha tha.. bas tum mujhe chumne hi waali thi ki tumhaare iss phone ne disturb kar diya..", he said stretching his hands lazily and lying on the bed again with the phone resting on his ear.

"Bhais ki poonch!! Tu toh bada chichorra se.. pata nahi amma ne thaare mein ke dekha ki maahri byaah thaare se karaane ke baaste ganga jamuna baha diye..", Sana spoke extremely irked.

"Toh karle na shaadi.. phir dikha dunga jo tujhe dekhna hai..", he flirted in a husky voice.

"Thaare se byaah karne se achcha mein mhaari padoski bhais se byaah kar loon..", said Sana.

"Only section 377 is annulled. Zoophilia or Bestiality is still a criminal offence in India.", said Sidharth.

"Ke bol raha se?", She asks perplexed.

"Mera matlab bhais ke saath tabele mein suhaagrat manane pe tumhe jail ho sakti hai.. tumhaare jail jaane ke gham mein kahi bhais ne nas kaat liya toh kya hoga? Toh achcha yahi hai tum mujhse shaadi kar lo.. I can be a beast in bed as well.", said Sidharth.

"Thaare maa baap toh manne desi laage se.. tujhe kisi bidesi kutte ne kaat khaayo se ke jo tu baat baat pe angreji jhaade se? Aur ye ke baat baat pe suhaagrat suhaagrat laga rakha se? Laaj sharam hai ki uske pakodi bana ke khaa gayo? Jab se phone kiyo tab se sirf gandi baat kare jaa raha se..", she spoke annoyed.

"ABCD padh li bahut
Thandi aaheein bhar li bahut
Achchi baatein kar li bahut
Ab karunga tere saath..
Gandi baat..
Gandi gandi, gandi gandi, gandi baat..", sang Sidharth in his husky voice.

"Sana.. lag gayo phone? (Asks Saraswati who returns from kitchen wiping her wet hands into her saree's pallu)

Haan, amma.. le thaare hone wala jamaai gaana gaa raha se.. tu bhi sunn le.. (said Sana forwarding her phone to her mother)", Sidharth gulped and bit his tongue.

"Kisse baat kar raha hai?", asked Manohar who enters the room tying his pajama's lace. Sidharth sighs and passes the phone to Manohar thanking his stars for Manohar's appearance.

"Sana ki mom", Sidharth whispers to him.

"What? Main kya baat karu?", He whispers holding the phone behind.

"Please kar le.. please..", Sidharth whispered back folding his hand. Manohar rolled his eyes and nods okay.

"Hello beta..", said Saraswati on the other end.

"Hello bhabhiji.. main Manohar bol raha hoon..", said Manohar.

"Oh Bhaisaab.. Namaskaar.. woh woh manne laga ki Sidharth hai", greets Saraswati.

"Haan.. wahi tha.. thoda sharmila hai mera beta toh.. phone mujhe thama gaya woh.. ", said Manohar earning a glare from Sidharth. Manohar frowned at him and holds the phone infront of him signalling him that he will deny speaking over phone. Sidharth holds his ears to apologize and Manohar resumes to talk over the phone with smirk.

"Lalita behen kahan hai?", Asked Saraswati.

"Haan, bhaabhiji.. woh rasoi mein hai.. aap boliye kaise phone kiya aapne?", Asks Manohar.

"Woh bhaisahab.. Sana ne byaah ke baaste haan bol diya hai.. toh byaah ki baat aage badhaane ke liye kab milna hai yeh jaane ke liye phone kiya..", sais Saraswati.

"Kya? Sana ne haan kar diya shaadi ke liye?", Manohar spoke loudly in shock, which made Sidharth's heart skip a beat. They both exchanged look at each other blankly not knowing how to respond.

"Hellooo.. hellooo.. Bhaisahab..", said Saraswati..

"Ha.. ha.. haan Behenji.. main Lalita se baat karke aapko batata hoon..", fumbled Manohar.

"Thik hai bhaisahab.. rakhti hoon", said Saraswati before disconnecting..

______________

To be continued.. ❤️❤️

I want y'all to smile with my funny story.. if you want me to smile too then vote on the story..