This chapter could be slightly triggering. Please, if you cannot handle it, click off. And if you are going through something, anything, just know that you are loved. Even if it feels as if you're invisible, you are special. And just know, you are worth it. And you forever will be.

n o p o v

Laughing. Laughing was all Yoongi could hear. Even if he was asleep, sometimes, sometimes even when it's dark outside and the world has shut down, he could still hear the laughter of his childhood. The laughter of his father as he watched his own wife dying in a hospital, thinking it was still all a joke.

There are somethings you can't accept.

The laughter of his father after his mom died, and how it turned dry. And then, then he shut off.

And then he died.

And then Yoongi laughed, his life was basically going completely downhill, as he was passed down to his uncle. Now, his uncle was shit, and well, he didn't want Yoongi, but what else could he do?

So he beat him. And whispered in his ears at night,

"You. Are. Worthless."

And then he laughed, as Yoongi would cry.

....

Eyes fluttered open, absorbing his surroundings. It was Taehyung who was awake, and he was confused. First, it was by the overbearing darkness, with just the faint glow of the mute TV. And then, it was by the boy who was cuddled into his side.

This boy was Yoongi.

His arms were wrapped tightly around Taehyungs lower torso, and his head laid upon his chest. He was cuddling.

They were cuddling.

And Taehyung was confused, but he didn't mind.

It was nice.

No, it was wonderful.

He smiled a wide smile gently running his hand through the raven hair of the boy, playing with the ends of the hair. His hair was soft.

Softer than the softest kittens.

Taehyung looked towards the window that was placed to the left of where the couch was placing, realizing it was still dark out.

Night time still? He thought.

He looked to the digital clock on the stove, and it read,

02:34

Daytime, thought, and then he heard mumbling.

t a e h y u n g

The pale boy stirred on me, scaring me slightly. His eyes fluttered opened, not processing anything yet. He stared at the TV as if it had mesmerized him, and man, he stared a long time. I began to feel anxious.

And then he looked up, his dark eyes met mine.

But this time, they weren't cold. They were warm.

And as we stared at each other, he grinned, and I could visibly see his cheeks heat up as he hugged me tighter and looked down sheepishly.

"Cute," I mutter, thinking he was still in a daze.

But then he looked to me, and looked in my eyes, "Really?"

I smiled warmly, "More than really. As if right now, you're being so adorable."

"Are you sure? People tell me I'm scary," he says kind of in a sad tone.

"Those people are just too stupid to realize what a strawberry you are."

He shakes his head against my chest, "You're the strawberry."

"Not right now I'm not." I say quietly, but adding in a bit louder, "Why so cuddly?"

"Dunno. It felt right, I can get up," he says.

"No, no, and no. You're not getting up," I whine wrapping both of my arms around him.

I feel him laugh a little, and that makes me smile, "Let go of me before I beat your ass."

"Woah! What happened to Mr. Sweety Cheeks?"

"There's no Mr. Sweety Cheeks," he says in a more serious tone.

"Well, yeah, but like, you were all cuddly one moment and then bam, the 'cold' Yoongi," I say, putting quotations around "cold."

"Well, I'm not like that really," he says pushing his self out of our embrace, and this time I let go.

"Then why do you act as if you are?" I ask, watching him head in the direction of the hallway that led to the bathroom.

"I don't try to. People just assume," he says sparing one last glance at me before disappearing into the hallway.

I blinked.

Yoongi is complicated.

y o o n g i

I walked into the bathroom gripping the sink harshly. My heart was pounding. I was hugging Taehyung.

He was hugging me.

My arms- no- these arms were around him.

I pulled up my sleeve, looking at the scars and the marks on them. Years and years of self hatred and anxiety was piled up. Visibly, it was ugly and depressing.

Mentally, for me at least, it was blank. They brought back so many emotions, yet none at the same time.

Nobody deserved these arms around them. These arms were polluted.

....

I walked back out where Taehyung was, and he looked as if he was contemplating life. As if anything I said really meant something. It was all stupid really, who would listen too poor old me?

Well, Hoseok and Jin would, but who else other than him?

Taehyungs face lit up as he saw me, and I couldn't help but smile.

"You're back!" He exclaims following me into the kitchen.

"Yes I'm not dead," I say, opening the refrigerator and rummaging through it.

"Well I'd hope you didn't die. I quite enjoy your company."

My cheeks heat a little, "Ah, now, let's not get ahead of ourselves."

"I'm not lying. You're funny, cute, and have a great personality."

My cheeks are really red now, "Well thanks," I whisper sheepishly.

"See, this is what I'm talking about, you're adorable and all flustered!"

"Well you're a fucking doofus!" I said.

He just laughs, "doofus? Is that the best you got?"

"Want me to say more?" I say spinning around.

"Mmm, go for it."

"You're an idiot. A complete idiot. First off, you're weird, so fucking weird. And you don't know the difference between a fruit and a vegetable, and for some reason, you think I'm cute! And lastly, you like grape soda," I say grimacing at the last part.

He grins widely rest his face in his hands, quirking an eyebrow, "Grape soda? Is it so bad?"

"It's disgusting," I hiss, "just like you."

He gasped, "woah there mister! Not so harsh!"

I chuckle and grab a Sprite form the fridge. "Not even going to offer me one?" Taehyung asks.

"Get it yourself," I say, then whisper in his ear as I walk by, "doofus."

I hear him giggling, and I turn to the couch sitting back down.

Its funny how one moment I could be thinking the darkest of thoughts, feeling nothing but emptiness, and then forget everything when I'm around him.

His presence just lightens me in a way so sweet, making me feel all...

squishy.

And earlier remember how I said I don't want to feel squishy?

I wouldn't mind that anymore if could feel squishy with him.

But my feelings don't matter. Because he'll never return them.

I'm just too broken for anyone to return anything.

n o p o v

The rest of the morning consisted of the two boys joking and talking, eventually falling back into a sleep, only to shortly be woken by Jin and Namjoon.

Who knows why they walked in together, flustered and all. Quite frankly, I don't want to know.

It was a very bright morning. Lots of sunshine, for a a very beautiful day.

It had been a while since the city has seen sun, so it was happy. And so was everybody else. Especially plants, they get more photosynthesis.

And though the boys had to attend their jobs to earn their living, each one had a reason to be happy. Or in Yoongis world, to be okay.

Namjoon was happy to have Jin, as for the latter.

Jimin and Jungkook has each other.

Hoseok finally saw Yoongi smile, and he believed it was genuine.

Taehyung got Yoongi to smile, and well, he was just happy with him being there.

And Yoongi was okay, Taehyung made him feel that way.

But there was also a feeling of despair, why do I have these feelings?

I'm not good enough. Will I ever be?

——————

Hello I hope you're not too sad. And just to let you guys know, you're all beyond good enough :))

Also I'm a fucking stressed piece of shit right now so.

Life sucks sometimes.