I tried to see her again, but her parents took her home and wouldn't let me near her.

"I'm sorry but you can't see each other anymore..."

"You might bring her more harm than good..."

"Such a relationship could never be..."

"But I love her! Please... let me see her just one last time..."

I was beginning to loose hope ''til one day I saw her standing outside our house.

Everything else around me disappeared. I didn't realize I was crying ''til she took a handkerchief and dabbed at my tears.

She was smiling.

I tried to hold her but she moved away.

"How could you smile at a time like this?"

"I just wanted to see you... how are you doing?"

"I should be asking you that question."

She looked away.

The bruises on her face were almost gone now, but there was something else that got lost with it...

I pulled her close and held her. A little struggle, then she held me too.

"I missed you..."

"I missed you too... kuya Obet."

I let her go.

We stood there facing each other, not knowing what to do.

If this goes on any further, I'll go crazy...

"We're leaving tomorrow..."

"Leave? Why? Where?"

"To the province. Papa's afraid of what might happen if..."

"I can protect you, you know that I will! If you just let me..."

"I don't want you to get in trouble because of me, kuya. Besides, that's not the only reason..."

"But Belle... I..."

"Promise me one thing Obet. Promise me you will take care of yourself. Even if I'm gone, I want you to promise me this. That you will move on no matter what..."

What's the sense of moving on if...

"Papa told me everything... and even if we had feelings for each other, you know that there's nothing we can do..."

How can you just say that?

"Perhaps what we felt for each was just brotherly love... we have the same father after all..."

Is this it, then?

"Right, Kuya?"

"Don't call me that. You have no idea how much it hurts."

"... You think I don't feel the same?"

Silence.

I scream in pain inside.

But what can I do?

She looked at her watch and sighed.

"How time flies. They're probably worried sick about me... Well, I have to go now..."

"So, this is goodbye?"

"Yeah, guess so... I'll keep in touch, okay?"

She smiled and turned away. Then she stopped and ran back.

"Here."

She handed me the hanky she held and smiled.

"Whenever you feel sad or angry or anything, just wipe it off your face."

I took the handkerchief.

Pale blue.

Just like the one she used on the first day we met.

I unfolded it and wiped my face as she left; wiping away all my sorrow.

When I looked at it, faint traces of blood stains were still there.

It was the same one after all.

And that was the last I saw of her.

Miraculously, I passed my finals.

Danny and the others joked that the school wanted me to graduate as quickly as possible so they could get rid of me.

Then summer vacation came.

Still no news about Belle.

I confined myself to my room, living in desperate memories I shared with her.

Finally, one hot summer night, as I tossed in bed engulfed in nightmares about Belle leaving me, I bolted out of bed and headed for the bathroom.

The medicine cabinet was full of mom's little buddies – they help her sleep since her reunion with my father.

I took a bottle and emptied the contents in my mouth...

"Promise me you will take care of yourself..."

I never promised her anything...

"Oh my God, Obet?!? What have you done."

It's too dark... I can't see... are my eyes close?

"Danny, call an ambulance! Quick!"

Danny?

Are you here too?

"You stupid asshole! What the hell were you thinking?!"

"He'll be okay, but any further delay would have been..."

"Then why doesn't he wake up yet?"

Do I want to wake up?

"Hey, wake up you bastard!"

"What are you doing? Nurse, hold him down!"

The voices disappeared all together.

They finally left me alone with my Belle.

"You want to be with me?"

"Yes, I don't need anyone but you."

"But they need you too, you know?"

"I don't care... just stay with me Belle... please..."

"I can't do that."

"Why not?"

"Because you are not meant to be with me."

"No. I won't accept that!"

"But you must... one day, you will meet someone who would wake you up like a slap in the face and show you that we were never meant to be more..."

"than just siblings..."

I woke up.

My face was hurting, and in front of me stood Danny, his fist aimed at me, about to give me another blow.

His eyes widened, then filled with tears.

"I knew I could wake you up..."

He fell on the floor and sobbed.

I saw my mother standing beside me.

She looked thinner than I remembered and there were dark rings around her eyes.

She was crying.

"I've never seen you cry before..." that was the first thing I said as she held me tight.

"I'm so sorry... I tried to be strong for you but..."

...It's so hard to be strong...

have it ever occurred to you that I would have probably wanted to be weak?

A simple person who could be happy with just a little love...

"Belle is gone now... isn't she?"

The two froze.

"I tried to go with her but she wouldn't let me."

We went home the next day.

Mother told me my father called to confirm what I knew all along.

Belle hanged herself in her room when she found out what happened to me.

She had been through so much and she was just a child after all. It seems that her parents even prohibited her from writing to me.

It was my mother who told them the news. They didn't know she was eavesdropping.

In the end, I finally understood what she meant with those words.

"Promise me you will take care of yourself... that you will move on no matter what..."

She should have been the one who made that promise...

"He's your son, god dammit!"

Mom's on the phone again.

She probably thinks I'm still sleeping.

I was asleep for more than a week, now I'm having difficulty trying to...

Tomorrow we're moving to my cousin's old house.

It hasn't been inhabited for about 10 years now.

Perhaps Belle's ghost can live with me there.

"Belle"

I don't even have a picture of you.

I always thought I could simply look at you whenever I feel like it... I thought you would always be beside me...

"Best friends, right? Here, I got this from one of her friends."

It is a picture of Belle with her classmates.

"She's smiling."

"Of course, it's a picture!"

I cut her image in the picture and glued it on a piece of black cardboard. Danny gave me a frame to put it in. She was smiling at me, and I could still hear her saying it over and over again...

"Promise me you will take care of yourself..."

I will, Belle, I promise you.

I would never fight again.

I will keep living with you in this dream.

No one...

will ever take you away from me again.