Sent by xLemur.

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Me: Sup

Friend: OMG IM AT THE PARK AND THERES A GIANT GHOST CHASING ME AROUND HELP ITS GOING TO BITE ME

Me: Wtf? Are you drunk?

Friend: NO I MEANT GOOSE PLEASE HELP

Me: Lol you're pathetic

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Mom: What kind of crap do you want for your birthday? Chocolate?

Son: I asked for cake, but I suppose poop works too...

Mom: OH MY GOSH sorry honey I meant cake

Son: Yeah... I'm not so interested in chocolate anymore