Well.

I, Pico Romero Fantan Rontori Villegas cannot find my short neon blue haired friend.

BF or beef for short.

Anyhow. This small ass dude was just at my house two seconds ago I could've sworn I saw...

Unfortunately swearing is wrong and so I recounted what I knew for sure..

Beef was definitely scrounging my cabinets for my extra DayQuil.

But when I tried to catch him under my glass cup, as usual (you know to release him back outside)

He jumped at me And left quickly. The issue is.. well my doors and windows didn't get opened so how the hell did this twerp get out.

Well. That is how I ended up begging for change on the side of the street...

Okay, okay, actually; I always do this; it's a great way to make income. Mondays and Wednesdays are homeless pico day.

Beef made it so I had to go later than usual though. So he's definitely getting the dustpan treatment.

The author is tired and their eyes start to cross while writing this..where did the motivation go...

Like a depraved freak; they immediately turned into a dust. Just then the air from a sneeze several feet away blew the dust into the air vent..

This is how the author came to possess an entire community.

Now as they are writing this their eyes basically don't even exist an-

Suddenly Pico zips up the hole in the huge glass fourth wall and dusts off his hands. As if to wipe away the notion and author dust off of his hands.

"I can control my own life thank you very much."

Pico whistled a tune

"No I didn't"

It was a bright and jolly tune.

"Stop it I'm not doing that"

Pico skipped down the sidewalk whistl-

"I can do more than zip the fourth wall a-hole. Now stfu"

The author stopped narrating; and because if this we are left to ponder where pico was going or how he was going there.

"I'm walking the streets trying to find beef."

The narrator sighed and checked the clock sized watch on their wrist; wondering what events are taking place.

"Are stupid or deaf? It's been literally a minute have some goddamn patience."

The narrator refuses to have patience.

The author initiates a time skip.

- later that day-

Pico wakes up on the concrete ground in the exact same spot he was in earlier that day.

"What." Pico widens his eyes. "The fuck -"

"WAS THAT???"

Surprisingly to everyone the time skip effected pico in a way of some kind...like some kind of way in which he was effected...
Hmm..

It was as if beef didn't matter any more as Pico grasped his hair in existential agony.

So sorry to say this pico but there is no edgy allowed in this fanfiction of mine.

The author warps pico out of our known existence and replaces him with BF.

"Beep." A happy beep.

More beeps followed.

I cannot translate the beeps.

Author adds GF nicknamed Beef 2

"Beep" beef sighs.

"Of course we would love to hear it." Beef 2 looks at the wall.

"Beef would like to perform a poem. He says I'm not allowed to translate it but that the emotion is enough to really tell what it is."

Author is surprised beef 2 got all of that from just a beep. Not too surprised since they are currently typing. The author in the phone is staring at the author in real life. They want so badly to switch places with them..

"Ehem..."

Oh the poem..

"Go ahead Beef they're listening" beef 2 encourages beef which seems to help. 

Pico is there too I guess. He is less scared than before. I will free him.

Beef takes a deep breath.

".." "..."

"Beep."..."Beep; Beep"

We are all trembling. The weight of his words weigh heavy on my conscience. Everyone is feeling the heat.

"..be..bee..

           Boop.."

The author resigns. Pico is the same as before...but somehow gayer??? His aura is radiating...fruit levels...

Girlfriend is staring at me through the screen. Our faces align until I look like her and she looks like me.

I slowly unzip my wall and step into the blank world I've created. Pico, boyfriend and girlfriend look at me.

"You can't just control us to do whatever you want us to do."

I frown.

I turn girlfriend into a miniature lemon.

There is silence between pico and boyfriend after this.

Most likely due to the fact that I turned them both into scarecrows.

The zipper is gone and I'm stuck in this story. Who is writing this fanfiction now I don't know.

But whoever it is it's not me.

Whoever it is is hanging out in my room. With my family.

This vast expanse is endless and the characters I write are just manifestations of my words.

I'm truly alone.

My address is-

-redacted- *****

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-redacted- 325 w****

I fear the wall is solidified and my escape is only a dream.

I bring back pico, boyfriend and girlfriend.

They look at me and I look at them.

I pretend they're real

They hug me.

But truly I am hugging me.

They are in control now.