COVER STORY | MAY 2021 ISSUE

Through the last year, Billie Eilish has taken home five Grammys, become the youngest artist to release a Bond theme, and has dealt with superstardom all the while being 19.

BY HOLLY WILEY
PHOTOGRAPHY BY QUIL LEMONS
STYLED BY GABRIELLA KAREFA-JOHNSON

Even without properly knowing her, you feel like you know Billie Eilish. She's one of the types of people who you can relate to so deeply, that you feel like you've known her your entire life. Over the years, we have learnt how her favourite food is a buritto, we know what an Eilish sneeze sounds like (it's pretty cute), we've learnt how sacred her relationship with her family is, and we've learnt her favourite hobbies and pastimes. We've seen her win multiple Grammys and countless awards, perform rather wonderfully at Coachella, and finish up an arena world tour for When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go?

It seems like a lifetime, yet in reality, it's only been five years since Justin Lubliner signed her to his label Darkroom in partnership with Interscope Records. The nineteen year old has risen to a level of superstardom she still can't begin to fathom. Her recent world tour, where shows sold out only days after the initial ticket release, wrapped up in November 2019. When we speak, the colossal hit that is Bad Guy, has been viewed almost one and a half billion times on Youtube. She's only nineteen.

Seated in the living room of her childhood home in Highland Park, Los Angeles, knees pulled up to her chest, Eilish wears a comfortable black t-shirt from her own merchandise line, and her rather iconic two-toned hair is damp from a shower. With her phone propped up on a bunch of books placed on the coffee table in front of her, she looks like a normal teenager. It's a rare insight into Billie Eilish's life, that makes me remember that really, she is just another teenager. It's so normal. At first, she seems almost unsure of how to begin, yet once the conversation starts flowing, she's at ease. We start with what she had for breakfast, which had been a vegan bagel topped with avocado. Definitely a crowd pleaser.

Then we delve into the more recent success that is the Apple TV+ documentary, Billie Eilish: The World's a Little Blurry. Directed by R.J. Cutler, the picture was filmed throughout 2018-2020, featuring noticeable achievements and moments of her life. Whether it's through home-filmed videos on an phone or camera, many seconds of Eilish's life is included. She mentions to me that in the beginning she was already hooked by the idea. "I just have always loved cameras," she says, with a small smile, "and I loved being on camera, and I've always loved watching videos of myself, since I was a little kid. I remember being 10 and being like, 'Mom, can I watch home movies?'"

She mentions that when a cut of the documentary was given to her to watch, she had a particularly difficult time getting through it. "It's really about my life, me, in such a way that I was not expecting, and was pretty brutal to relive." But ultimately, the experience has been rewarding, and has provided her with something equally unforeseen. "I was going through hell in certain parts of my life, and I had no idea anyone was seeing it."

The film brings a rawness to life of the struggles that not only teenagers face in this day and age, but also highlight what it's like for a teenager to be a mega-super star whilst dealing with all the other emotions, crippling self-doubt, and feeling like no one really sees and understands the worst moments when it does happen to you. In moments like these, it's art that saves most people. Specifically, music.

As soon as I drew the conversation toward her fans, her entire mood shifts. The kind of support that Eilish receives from fans, other young teenagers in particular, can really only been seen as love. The way they look up at her as she performs up on stage, tears streaming down their faces and staining their cheeks, is so heartwarming. It evokes emotions that make you wonder, what is this young woman doing so well, that she is creating this sort of reaction? "I'm being myself," she states simply. "I've always been no one else but myself." Perhaps that's why her music resonates with so many people.

Eilish adds that the connection with her fans is there partly because she can understand each of them so well; she even goes to call herself a 'fan type person.' When I ask her who her musical obsessions and inspirations are, Justin Bieber is the first name to come up. Most fans of both would remember the tear evoking moment where they met for the first time in April 2019 at Coachella. The moment featured in her documentary, shows Eilish staring at him for a good thirty to fourty seconds, before collapsing into his arms for a tight hug. It's clear that her infatuation still hasn't left after all this time. Then, the second name comes up. This one is more surprising, although, maybe it's because Bieber was a fairly obvious first guess.

It could be a coincidence when her older brother, Finneas O'Connell finds the moment to walk into the room and casually take a seat next to Eilish, a grin slowly making it's way onto his face; almost like he knows exactly who she is going to say. When the rising indie pop-star, Hayley O'Brien is named, everything suddenly falls into place. Maybe it's because the internet lost its fucking mind when a few days earlier, Finneas commented on O'Brien's Instagram post, captioning, '@billieeilish is this who you've been talking about??' Only minutes later, it was deleted. When I bring this up, Eilish's blush is noticeable through the screen of the phone, and even her "Oh, fuck," is heard fairly clearly. It's a sweet moment when Finneas begins to laugh and Eilish playfully shoves him off the sofa and onto the floor.

On a more serious note, Eilish goes on to describe O'Brien in a way like majority of her own fans would be describing herself. "She's insanely fucking talented, she's my idol, for sure. I'm definitely an original 'I miss you, I'm sorry' fan, we first heard it on the radio in the car and I've been pretty much a hard-core fan ever since. I swear she sounds like an angel, like, her voice is just-it's fucking angelic."

Finneas goes on to reiterate his younger sister's opinions with a similar sort of awe in his voice like Eilish had when talking about the other nineteen year old. "One-hundred percent the same. She's got so much talent, I think it's super hard not to like her and her music," he says with a smile. "I reckon I jumped on the bandwagon around the same time as Billie, though her's is definitely more of an obsession."

I have to laugh when Eilish's eyes widen considerably, and she immediately goes into defensive mode. "I'm not obsessed!" She just about yells. Finneas is quick to rebut, his grin earsplitting as he raises his eyebrows at the girl. "Seriously? You've literally got posters-" Eilish is swift to interrupt the sentence and direct the conversation onto the next question.

The music she's working on now, she says, "feels exactly how I want it to. There isn't one song, or one part of one song, that I wish was this or that I wish it was that." Released in late 2020, the single Therefore I Am, is described by Eilish as, "It feels like me. Like, if I was to look at it as an outside perspective, this one... I'd be satisfied," she says with a smile.

When I ask if there's anything going on behind the scenes for Billie Eilish, she shares a look with her brother, both of them having a silent conversation with one another. They nod together after a few silent seconds, and wide grins appear. They both mention the sophomore album, yet a title isn't revealed as of yet. A time frame or release date isn't given to me, but it's widely hinted that it's coming soon. "I love it," Eilish adds. "Like, it's all I want to listen to. You know? Like, I just genuinely love it." After being asked what feeling does the future music give off, Eilish is clear to say that, "Almost none of the songs are joyful." It's a subtle hint that perhaps her second album won't be a bright and cheerful difference to the 2019 When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go? Fifteen songs will be featured on the record, with the edgy and upbeat single Therefore I Am being a definite inclusion after being confirmed by both siblings.

From those who have seen the documentary, it's made fairly clear that Eilish isn't a fan of songwriting or the process of creating records in general. Speaking to her, this is still a theme. She compares songwriting to running, in how it would be "fucking exhausting" to do all of the time. "Songwriting is like that for me. I'm pretty good at it, but it takes a lot out of me. I feel like I just ran a marathon whenever I write a song."

Finding a moment with her older brother, Finneas, he explains that he saw her attitude toward songwriting change, feeling less tormented and mentally drained by the process than before. "It's been awesome as a big brother to see her become more confident and feel more ownership and just to be more excited than I've ever seen her about the music that we're making. I also just think she has objectively gotten even better."

The change of attitude in Eilish is almost a complete switch to her calm, more centered body language when the next topic is brought up. For this, Finneas has returned, taking his previous seat next to his sister on the sofa, who is now clutching a glass of lemonade. The angle that her phone is still positioned in, gives me a view of her twelve-month-old blue nose pit bull rescue, Shark, who was adopted around the beginning of the pandemic. Similar to earlier, Eilish has a sheepish smile. "Collaborations aren't something I think about a lot, but if it was to happen, it would have to be with the right person."

When her brother points out, "By that, she means Hayley," Eilish loudly slurps the lemonade to drown his voice out, eliciting chuckles from both myself and Finneas.

Asking Eilish outright, she answers quietly, like she is reluctant to reveal the information. "Shit, I mean, it's my dream to be honest. But at the end of the day it's totally up to her, I don't even know if she likes my stuff." It might not be something she's super keen on, but it sounds like if Hayley O'Brien was on board, a possible collab could be in the works. Because based on what the world has heard about O'Brien, she seems to be a pretty big fan of Eilish herself.

Even though what was given was fairly vague, it's clear that whatever is next for Billie Eilish, is her most loved body of work and possibly her best so far.

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