I almost knocked on his door but then I remembered he told me to just walk in.

It was 7:50 but I'm sure he wouldn't mind. Even if his friend was still here, I could probably meet them.

I opened the door and saw the whiskey bottle still open and on the counter. Two glasses were beside it.

One was almost full and the other was empty.

"Ronan?" I yelled. "You upstairs?"

He was probably in his room. If I had to guess he got carried away with talking and was rushing to get ready.

I walked up the stairs and noticed a shirt on the floor. His shirt. I dismissed it, he wasn't a particularly neat person.

I walked past another shirt. I didn't recognize it but I dismissed that one too.

He had given me no reason to not trust him. It was just strange that the house was messier now when he knew I was coming. It was in better condition the last time I was here and that wasn't planned.

His bedroom door was shut, he was probably getting ready.

I opened it and locked eyes with a man.

A man who was not my boyfriend.

A man who wasn't wearing a shirt and was in my boyfriends bed.

Ronan was asleep beside him.

I froze with my hand still on the door knob.

Tears formed in my eyes and I didn't have the strength to hold them back.

The man tapped Ronan slightly.

I knew what I was seeing. Yet something inside of me wanted to cut that man's finger off for touching him.

He wouldn't do this. Why would he tell me he had a friend over just to break my heart like this.

Ronan sat up. He looked completely confused and disoriented.

Did he have too much to drink? Was that how much our relationship was worth to him?

He cared about me until there was enough alcohol in his system and another man around.

He rubbed his eyes and looked down at himself. His confusion only intensified.

He still hadn't noticed me.

He looked over at the other man. He mumbled something then swiftly turned his head back. "What the fuck."

The other man just stared at him.

Ronan grabbed the top sheet and wrapped it around himself as he jumped out of the bed. "Is this some kind of sick joke?"

...

This wasn't fucking happening. There was absolutely no way.

The last thing I remembered was starting the conversation. Everything after that was sort of a blur and then there was nothing.

But I knew there was absolutely no fucking way I climbed into bed with Jackson.

I had maybe four sips of whiskey?

Those feelings about him were long gone.

And even if a sliver of them lingered, I cared far more about Avox than I ever did him. I wouldn't do this. It simply wasn't me.

I glanced at my alarm clock. It was 7:52. Maybe I could figure out what the fuck happened and then get him out before Avox got here.

Black spots danced over my vision. I could barely see or read his face. "Why would this be a joke."

I heard a small strangled whimper from my doorway.

My heart fell through the world.

"I swear this isn't want you think it is, it can't be what you think it is." I looked at him.

He didn't move or speak.

"I'm pretty sure this is exactly what he thinks it is." Jaxon said.

"You shut your fucking mouth. I'll kill you.

I took one small step towards him and he bolted.

"Avox!" I yelled as I took of after him.

A mixture of the black spots and forming tears made it almost impossible to see.

I was halfway down the stairs when I tripped.

I hit my face directly on the floor, I probably broke my nose but I got back up.

My fall made him stop.

I gripped onto the railing to avoid falling again. "Please don't go."

"Why." I could tell he was holding back sobs.

"Because I didn't fucking do this. I swear to God I didn't." Tears fell down my face. I let go of the railing and held my hand to my nose as it dripped blood.

"I want to believe you, but if you didn't how do you explain what I just saw?" A sob broke through his lips.

I reached out to him and almost tripped again.

"Don't touch me." He moved back. "Can you fucking stand?"

"No." I slid to the ground. "I don't know, I don't fucking know what happened. But I would never do that to you."

"How do you not know?" He yelled.

"I don't remember." I curled into a ball. "I'm sorry, I don't remember."

"Then how do you know you wouldn't do it? If you don't remember how do you know it didn't happen?" He took a small step closer to me.

"Because I love you." I attempted to wipe my face but I just spread blood across it. "I know that's not enough, but it's all I have. I don't know- I'm sorry."

"Take that back." He stared at me. He stepped back as shock colored his face.

"I don't love you? Now it's just a lie." I sobbed as I laid my head against the cold tile floors. "I'm just making it worse."

I looked at the blood around my face. Maybe I'd just die here.

If I did cheat on him I hoped I would.

The black spots got bigger as I stared at the ground.

I looked up at the counter where the whiskey was.

Two glasses, one was empty the other was full.

I didn't remember either of us drinking that much, but judging by how I felt I must've.

Strange. Jackson hadn't touched his.

"You remember where I keep the good stuff?" I looked at him.

He nodded and walked over the the cabinet. He set the bottle on the counter for me and set the lid beside it.

I looked up at Avox as the world around me began to fade. "Help me."

...
Lots of writing for me tonight.

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<3