My mom just told me that my best friend tried to kill herself. She stopped taking her medicine to take an overdose to kill herself. My mom just told it's not my fault...

but it is.

Earlier I watched a video about how you know if someone is suicidal. While my mom talked to me, I went through the list. 

https://youtu.be/soQoEkuUc9s

So I sat there, an idiot who knew something was off with her best friend, and was fucking right!!!!!

I am that type of person who guess the twist in that movie (most of the time), and has the intuitions about things. And sometimes I hate it when I ALWAYS RIGHT! Why can't I be wrong sometimes, god damn it. 

Sorry, had to let that out. 

I know that if I'm your friend, I am loyal to you. Not as a knight to a king, but as if you tell me a secret and told me not to tell anyone... I won't. I'll ask your permission if I want to tell someone. 

She told me she won't and will never be like Trena, my first best friend. But she was exactly like her. They both were my best friend for 4 years, shellfish, and make me think that I can tell them things. I'm so stupid.

I don't know what to do anymore.

I just have to fake till I make.