Lief looked angrier then I’d ever seen him, and I wanted to say no. Something told me he wasn’t going to fight fair. He might not kill me in front of a room full of people, but I could see him wounding me badly and passing it off as an accident. He clearly wasn’t in a rational mood at the moment.

                I looked up at the clock. It was just past noon, “I can’t, the Queen said to go meet Erik in the library for history lessons, he’ll be wondering where I am.” It was partially a lie. I was supposed to go to lunch first, then the library. Technically I could stay and fight, but I had no intention of letting him stab me.

                Lief strode forward and seized my shirt, twisting it, pulling me closer so he could hiss in my face. “You are disobeying my direct order?”

              Anger made me snap back at him,  “I am obeying the Queen, as you should be,” I was proud of how steady my voice was.

                Crack! His hand slammed into my cheek and my head whipped sideways with the impact. The only reason I didn’t stagger backwards was because of Lief’s grip on the front of my shirt. My cheek began to throb immediately, but I was too stunned to manage more than a strangled whimper at the pain. He had just slapped me! It was one thing to be clipped in our hand to hand combat, but he’d basically just bitch slapped me out of nowhere.  I tried to blink back tears, glaring at him. He loomed over me, his voice low and threatening,

                “Do not ever think to lecture me about the Queen. She is my mother, not yours. When her fascination with you fades you will cross the line and she will merely have you executed, a fate many have suffered before you. Do not be fooled by her kindness. She is colder than you think.” He released my shirt, shoving me backwards, and I barely managed to keep upright, still feeling dizzy from the blow.

                He turned away and shot back at me over his shoulder, “go on then, if you’re too much of a coward for a rematch.”

                I refused to take the bait, marching for the door instead. I shoved through it and into the hallway, nearly blind with tears of pain and fury. I hate him so much. I wish he would fall on his stupid sword and stab himself! Servants passed me as I hurried through the halls, but I kept my eyes straight ahead, not wanting to see if they’d noticed my tears. Something loomed in my path, forcing me to look up. A servant was standing there, taller than usual, studying me sullenly. Her face was smudged with dirt and her hair was in tangles, but I recognized the dark blue eyes and the regal way she still held herself.

                “Edda,” I halted and looked her over. She was barely recognizable from the proud noblewoman I’d first met, dressed in drab rags.

                “Amora,” she folded her arms over her chest and glowered at me, like she was trying to stare me down, “you look upset.”

                Like she cared. I gave her a suspicious look, “Right.”

                “Prince Lief is giving you a hard time, I heard.” She gave me a venomous smile, “the servants talk.”

                I regarded her silently, wondering if I should just brush past her.

                She continued, “It’s probably because he realizes you’re a freak.”

                I grimaced at her, “what, because I’m half human? You’re a servant now, how do you come off high and mighty?”

                “You’re a genetic mutant,” she crept forward, ruby colored lips curling in a sneer, “do you know why you could freeze me like that? Because Amora could. You’re not even a real person, you’re just a genetic copy, engineered by magic. You’re a freak, a copy of a dead girl!”

                I ground my teeth together, “You have five second to get the hell out of my way, Edda.”

                She stepped to one side as I passed by, obviously content that her barbs had hit home, and I marched past, fists clenched. Holding my head up high until I’d turned the corner and was out of sight. My stomach felt queasy though. Engineered by magic. What the hell was she talking about? Nobody had said anything about magic. Had she just made that up?

                I couldn’t face more mocking faces right now, so I skipped the dining hall and went straight to the library where I would be able to think in peace. I was surprised to see Erik already there, sitting at the same table he had last time. He looked up when I entered and his smile faded as I drew nearer.

                “Amora, what’s the matter? You look upset. Was it Lief again?”

                “Yes…no. I mean…” I yanked a chair out and sat down across from him, taking a deep breath, wondering if I was going to sound like a crazy person, “ Do you guys use magic?”

                Erik looked stunned, “What? Where did that come from?”

                I didn’t want to go into the whole Lady Edda thing, so I just said, “someone told me I was engineered by magic. What does that even mean?”

                Erik sighed, scraping a hand through his hair, “It’s complicated. It’s part of the genetic memories. I’m sorry, I should have touched on that more, but to the Jotun it’s an integral part of the genetic memories. We don’t even think about it anymore really. It’s what develops the memories. It wouldn’t be possible without magic. Sometimes the magic takes and the genetic memories are a success and sometimes it doesn’t work.”

                It was all a bit much. I rubbed at my temples, “So…what, my biological father….enchanted my mother or something?”

                Erik smiled, “Well, it’s hardly that simple, but something along those lines…yes. Essentially your DNA is fused with that of Amora’s. You inherit some of her memories, which you already know, and that’s also why you look so much like her. The Queen didn’t even tell me she’d asked the King to do it, I suppose because she wasn’t one hundred percent sure it had worked. Now it’s obvious that it did.”

                “So, she was right. I’m created by magic,” I groaned and leaned forward, resting my head on the table, “is there anything else you might have neglected to tell me?”

                Erik frowned, “Who is she? What are you talking about?”

                “Lady Edda,” I grumbled, “I ran into her in the hallway and she kindly informed me about the magic. So, explain more…can I do magic?” Somehow I couldn’t picture myself prancing about waving a sparkling wand and chanting magic spells.

                Erik was shaking his head though, “it’s not like that. Our magic is very deep, and very old. It’s in our bones. It’s what creates the ice,” he reached forward and brushed a finger over my hand, sending tingles up my arm, “but, you won’t find any of us chanting spells or stirring goop in a giant black cauldron, if that’s what you mean.”

                I allowed myself a small smile, “Alright. So, are you going to teach me to control this crazy freezing stuff. I mean, I’m kinda out of control. Edda seemed really surprised when I froze her hand during our little altercation.”

                Erik’s brows shot up, “She should be. That’s pretty rare. Most of us can’t effect one another.”

                I frowned, “let me guess, another talent of Amora’s?”

                He ducked his head and looked down at the table, “Look, I’m sorry if everyone here keeps making you feel like…like you’re someone else.”

                When he looked up at me his blue eyes were filled with tears. It made my chest tight and I felt like crying too.

                He said, “I know the Queen is projecting all her hopes and guilt onto you. I know Lief hates you because you remind him of her. And…” he swallowed hard and continued, “I’ll try not to think of her every time I look at you, but it’s hard.”

                I nodded, feeling a surge of sympathy, “I understand.”

                He straightened up and took a deep breath, “The Queen wants me to teach you our history, but I think it’s more important to teach you how to get a handle on your talents first and foremost,” he leaned forward, “it’s an inherit talent that we all possess to a certain point. Do you find it comes out when you’re in the throes of strong emotions? Hate, anger, pain and excitement?”

                Excitement.  I can’t help but think of my very first kiss, of his mouth on my mouth. Looking up to see him frozen and still. Heat flooded into my face and I kept my mouth shut and just nodded.

                “It’s because you release that mental block inside of you. We all have that too,” Erik’s voice was collecting confidence, taking on a teaching quality and his shoulders relaxed, “I’m going to teach you to take down that mental block when you’re not worked up.”

                I nodded eagerly, “That way I don’t have to make myself mad in order to do it. That would be nice.”

                “The first thing you have to do is work to suspend your disbelief. That may sound flowery and ridiculous, to say ‘believe in magic’ but it’s true. Part of your mental block is the fact that you’re probably still afraid of what’s happening to you. Maybe you’re not sure if you want to believe it. That’s something you have to do for yourself, convince yourself that this is who you really are. I can’t really teach you to do it. You’ll have to work that out for yourself. When you do, you’ll be able to find that block in yourself and release it to open yourself to the ability. You’ll be able to access it whenever you want.”

                I hesitated, “So, I just…tell myself over and over that I’m part frost giant, or what?”

                “I suggest spending some more time around the Queen. Notice her mannerisms. There is no doubt in her. There is no hesitation. She accepts who she is, and she is one of the most powerful Jotun of her time. Also, spend more time around full blooded Jotun. Watch them using their ability.” He frowned, “Lief should be teaching you this. He is not?”

                “No,” I muttered, “probably because he can’t use it to beat me up.” I reached up to rub my cheek without even thinking about it, and saw Erik’s fingers curl into fists.

                His voice shook with anger, “did he strike you?”

                I shrugged, and he said, “During practice?”

                “Not exactly.”

                Erik stood up abruptly, bumping the table with his hip, “I’m going to talk to him.”

                I sprang up and grabbed his arm, “No! Erik, please don’t. That’s nice that your concerned and all, but I really don’t want you to talk to him. It will only make things worse.”

                Erik’s face was hard, “Then at least let me speak to the Queen about taking over your training. I'm a good soldier. I can teach you sword play and hand to hand combat just as effectively as he can.”

                “I guess that would be okay,” I rubbed my temple, feeling the beginnings of a massive tension headache. Erik’s face softened,

                “Amora, do you not feel well? Go relax in your rooms, it’s been a hard day. Tomorrow I will teach you more about techniques for opening yourself up to your power. Tonight, your assignment is only to try to convince yourself you are Jotun. Simple as that.”

                Lying down on the massive, soft bed sounding great to me right about now. I gave him a grateful smile, “thank you. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

                “See you tomorrow,” he gave me a warm smile as I stood up and moved for the door, and I waved just before stepping out into the hall. Suddenly my eyes felt heavy and my body was letting me know it was time for bed. It couldn’t be that late, but I felt exhausted down to my very bones. A hot bath was in order, and then bed.

                Charlotte was in front of the vanity when I pushed my way through the big double doors. One of the girls, Becca I think it was, was helping her put on eyeliner.

                “Hey Megan!” Charlotte waved enthusiastically and was soundly scolded by her makeup artist, who gave me a nod and a smile as I came in.

                “Why are you two getting all fancy?” I eyed the two girls, who were both dressed in simple yet elegant evening gowns.

                “We’re going for a walk in the courtyard,” Charlotte said excitedly, “it’s a ritual every evening to go look at the stars. It’s a tradition, and sometimes you meet handsome men there, under the stars…” she sighed, so obviously smitten with the idea that I had to keep myself from laughing, “ They invited me to go,” she sounded absolutely thrilled that they’d invited her.

                I couldn’t help feeling suspicious, “Amy did?”

                Becca straightened up, “Amy might be the ring leader in her own little brain, but we do things without her quite often. It’s just me and Charlotte and Stacey tonight. You’re welcome to come of course.”

                “You should come!” Charlotte clapped her hands, and then sat still again when Becca shook a finger at her.

                “Sorry guys,” I shuffled over to the bed and flopped on top of the covers, groaning at how good it felt to be off my feet, “But my entire body aches. Lief and I had a pretty epic sword fight.”

                “We know,” Charlotte said in a hushed voice, “everyone knows.”

                “Lief is pissed,” Becca actually sounded amused, “I mean really mad.”

                No shit. “I know,” I sat up suddenly, “wait, is he telling people? That doesn’t sound like something he would go around talking about.”

                “No way,” Charlotte smirked, “getting his butt kicked by a newbie isn’t something he’d want to talk about. All the nobles were there though, so there was no way it was going to be kept quiet.”

                Becca said dryly, “gossiping is somewhat of an sport around here.”

                “Oh,” I flopped back over with another loud groan, “that’s great. He’ll hate me even more now.”

                “Okay, you’re done,” Becca said to Charlotte, and then to me, “are you sure you won’t come?”

                “I can’t move…”

                “Fair enough.”

                Charlotte came over and put her hand on my knee, and I raised my head for long enough to see her smiling down at me, “have a nice relaxing bath and don’t worry about him. He’s sour grapes because you handed him his butt on a silver platter.”

                I snorted and let my head fall back, “Thanks Charlotte, you two have fun.”

                The door slammed, and I could hear them giggling all the way down the hallway. Then there was only silence. Glorious, uninterrupted silence.  After a minute I got up and shuffled into the bathroom, running the water in the big marble tub as hot as it would go.

                I stuck my toe in. Nearly scalding. Perfect temperature for my aching bones. I slid in an inch at a time, gasping a little at the heat and then settled my body into the molded back rest, moaning at how amazing the water felt on my poor muscles. I lay my head back and shut my eyes, the ripples of water caressing my skin, softly carrying me away.

                It was that dream again. I lay dying, gasping for air, the wound in my side pulsing blood. The Queen’s face loomed over me, beautiful, radiating cold. This time there was something different though. Instead of the soft, blood stained snow of the battle field I lay on cold cement. The sun was halfway in the sky, bathing me in light, partially blinding me. I could hear voices in the background, mumbling words that made no sense. The Queen was speaking to me, telling me I was her daughter and she loved me, but this time her crimson colored lips weren’t moving, Her face was cold and impassive…

                I gasped in water, flailed upright, choking and coughing. How on earth had I managed to fall asleep in the bath? I struggled to sit up and stop breathing liquid into my lungs.  Man, I must have been more exhausted then I’d thought. The bathwater I was sitting in had gone from hot to tepid. How long had I been dreaming? It hadn’t felt long.

                I moved to stand upright, reaching for one of the white towels on the rack nearby and wrapping it around my body. It was incredibly soft and fluffy, and warm from the electric tower holder. I sighed, stepping carefully out of the bath, dripping my way down the three steps and onto the bathroom tiles, which were warm against my bare feet. I toweled off in front of the mirror, noticing that I had dark circles under my eyes. This dreaming thing was getting creepy. It was consuming too much of me. And something about this last one had been…disturbing. It hadn’t felt right.

                I wrapped the towel around my torso and tucked the end in the top so that it would stay up by itself. My bare feet pattered softly over the tiles and I pushed the bathroom door open with my shoulder, hands in my hair as I tucked it up into a sloppy bun to keep the wet ends from brushing my shoulders. I froze halfway through the doorway into the bedroom. Directly in front of me was the fireplace, and someone had built up a roaring fire. The crackle and pop and the scent of pine filled the room. That wasn't right. The fire place had been empty and cold when I’d gone into the bathroom.

                Heart in my throat, my gaze swept across the huge room. To the right, the massive king sized bed, sheets rumpled and unmade. Empty. To the left…a dark figure loomed. I gasped, staggering backwards and my back hit the doorframe.  My eyes adjusted to the change in the light, and the figure came into view. A servant, standing in the center of my bedroom, dressed in the customary drab garments. His blonde hair was unusual for a half blood, long and straight, brushing his shoulders. He turned his head to look at me, and the fire light glinted off a pair of glasses.

                “Sorry,” he said, “sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.”

                Heat prickled over my cheeks and I gripped the top of the towel more tightly, “Why would you just walk in here…” my mouth dropped open as the servant reached up and grabbed the ends of his long blonde hair and yanked. The hair slid to one side and fell to the carpet, revealing his real hair underneath, dark brown curls that sprang up wildly. He took off his glasses, tossing those aside as well, and gave me a huge, sheepish grin, “Sorry about that, I honestly didn’t want to scare you.”

                The room seemed to be turning in wild circles, and my heart was knocking against my ribs so hard that I thought it might come through. I stammered like an idiot for a few seconds, before I was able to spit out what I wanted to say,

                “Loki?”