The great hall was packed. When I walked in the smell of roast pheasant made my stomach growl and my mouth water. Passing between the center tables I could feel eyes on my back. The full blooded jotun were too refined for jeers or jabs, but the burning stares were enough to make me nervous. When I reached the half-blood table I was relieved to spot Charlotte waving me over.

“Megan! Over here!” She nudged Becca, who gave me a wide smile and scooted over on the bench. On Charlotte’s other side was a slim faced young man with greyish eyes and wavy blonde hair down to his shoulders. He was cute.

Charlotte turned to him, gesturing to me as I sat down, “Davin, this is Megan, or I guess everyone calls her Amora but I don’t. Megan, meet Davin.”

Davin reached over Charlotte, hand extended, “Hi Megan, nice to meet you.”

I shook his hand, thinking that he got automatic brownie points for calling me Megan instead of Amora. “Nice to meet you too. I hear you guys met on some walk under the stars thing.”

“We did,” Davin gave Charlotte a sideways look and a smile, “I was dazzled by the beauty, and the stars weren’t bad either.”

I watched, barely holding back laughter as Charlotte went beat red and giggled.

On the other side of me Becca said, “Megan, you should come with us tonight. They do it every night. It’s so gorgeous.”

For a minute I was about to say yes, and then I remembered that Loki was coming again tonight. The thought started butterflies tickling my stomach, “Yeah,” I said, “maybe I will.”

                “You totally should,” Amy leaned forward, past Becca to talk to me, “it’s so amazing. You get dressed up your best and flirt,” she shot a look across the table to a young man who was sitting across from her. His cheeks flushed brightly and he dropped his eyes to his lunch. The girl beside him, my scar faced critic from the other day, glared at Amy.

Unsurprisingly, Amy didn’t seem to notice the little drama she’d just created, “And you get to see all the best hairstyles and show off your hair.” She tilted her head back to show me the back of her hair, which was done up in an intricate twist.  “I made the servants do this this morning. Isn’t it amazing? It’s just like what the Queen was wearing the other day.”

“Geeze,” Stacy, who was sitting on the other side of Davin, rolled her eyes, “your adoration is getting out of hand, Amy. “

I hid a smile behind a forkful of roast, amused at the look of outrage on Amy’s face. She clearly wasn’t used to her lackeys talking back to her.

The lackey on the far side of Stacey laughed. I think it was Margaret, though I had a hard time telling her and Alicia apart sometimes. It was hard to tell when they were both sitting, but I think Margaret was taller than Alicia. The one that was probably Alicia gave Margaret a disapproving look.

“That’s not very nice,” she said.

I ignored their drama and set about to finish my plate, mind buzzing with worries. What was Erik going to tell me in the library? Why was he acting so hush hush? Would Lief confront me at some point today? He’d looked really really angry….

Under the table Charlotte bumped my knee gently. When I looked up she whispered, “Are you okay?”

I nodded, “I’m fine. Just thinking.”

She didn’t say anything back, and I noticed that she and Davin were holding hands underneath the table. Maybe if I did decide to go she wouldn’t come with me. The idea of making a break for it on my own was even scarier. I looked down at the remains of the roast on my plate. I wasn’t hungry anymore.

The library was mercifully quiet when I entered. Erik wasn’t there yet, and I took a few minutes to sit back at the table and enjoy the dusty old book smell and peaceful surroundings. There were only two people browsing the shelves. Everyone else was at lunch. Nobody even looked up when I walked in and sat down. It was a relief. There were a few old books lying on the table in front of me, someone had forgotten to put them away I guess. I traced a finger over the gold embossed spine of one of them, reading the words “A History of Jotunheimr”. Well that looked dry…

Soft footsteps approached, and I glanced up from the book to see Erik making his way over.

“You’re early,” he smiled, “wanted some peace and quiet?”

“Yeah,” I tried to give him a smile back as he pulled out the chair across from me, “lots on my mind.”

“I can hardly blame you,” Erik said gravely.

I stared down at the book, avoiding his gaze. He didn’t even know how much I really had on my mind. Could he tell that I was keeping something from him?

“How are you feeling?” He said earnestly, and his eyes darted around the library, taking in the couple people browsing the shelves nearby. His voice dropped even lower, “how do you feel about going into battle?”

I frowned, “Scared of course,” I shrugged, “I’m not actually Amora. I’m not brave enough to go into battle.”

Looking up I found Erik, chin in hand, staring down at me, studying my face. My stomach flipped and I dropped my eyes back down to the table. Was he wondering what I was hiding from him?

He hesitated, “I never asked you what you thought of all this. The palace, the queen…”

The Queen. Her voice was suddenly in my head, chanting evil sounding words, telling me there were no survivors. I tried to keep my face blank, but Erik nodded.

My voice was shaky, “I didn’t say anything.”

“No,” he said thoughtfully, “you didn’t. You didn’t have to.”

My throat was tight, and my pulse was hammering. Would he turn me in? Would he tell the Queen I didn’t like her? Could they brand me a traitor just for having doubts about her?

Erik looked around again. One of the browsers had moved farther away, and so he leaned forward and said in a low voice, “We can’t really talk here. Will you go with me to the star light walk tomorrow night? We’ll be able to discuss things far more freely.”

Relief flooded through me. He wasn’t mad. “Sure,” I nodded, “that sounds fine.”

“Great, I’ll come by your room to escort you there around ten.”

Escort me? It was funny how old fashioned the jotun could be, and yet they drove around cars and had every modern convenience they could wish for. It was really on odd way of life. I just nodded,

“Sounds good, I’ll see you at ten.”

“Excellent, I’m going to stick around and do some reading. You go relax, you look pale.”

“Thanks,” I rolled my eyes, “see you tomorrow.”

I made my way out of the library, passing people in the hallway. For the most part I ignored them and they ignored me, but occasionally some would stare, making me feel awkward until they were around the corner and out of sight.

I skipped the banquet that night. Anti-social of me I know, but I just couldn’t stand the idea of sitting there with a million thoughts rattling around in my brain, trying to make polite conversation and ignore the little jabs that my fellow half-bloods threw at me from time to time. At least alone in the room I could concentrate on my problems and try to puzzle them out.

I was sitting in front of the vanity, checking out the dark circles around my eyes and my pale skin (as Erik had so kindly pointed out) when the door flew open. I jumped, turning to see Charlotte leaning in the doorway giggling. The other side of her was being held up by Davin, who wore a bemused expression on his face.  Upon seeing me Charlotte spread her arms wide and cried, “Megan!” and nearly over balanced. I caught sight of the amber colored bottle in her hand and raised a brow at both of them.

Davin said, “She’s developed a love of the white wine here, though I can’t think why. It’s far too sweet for my taste.”

Charlotte tottered inside, still clutching the bottle. She set it down forcefully on the vanity beside me, making me flinch, and leaned forward and seized my face in her hands, squishing my cheeks.

She leaned in and blinked blurrily at me and pronounced, “You’rrrre soooo beautiful!”

I tried to keep from smiling, “thank you, Charlotte.”

“You’re welcome,” she said solemnly, and then dissolved into giggles again. I was more than a little relieved when she let go of my cheeks and staggered backwards, arms pin wheeling. Davin reached out and kept her from toppling over. “Woops, “ he said, “careful now.”

“Davin,” I tried to sound stern, but Charlotte was now hanging in his arms with a blissful expression on her face, humming “Three Blind Mice” to herself. It was hard to be stern, “perhaps you should sober her up a little.”

Charlotte wrinkled her nose at me, “Don’ wanna,” she said, “that’s no fun. Megan, you should be more fun.” She brightened up, apparently struck by an idea, “you need wine!” she pointed at the bottle on the vanity beside me. Then a confused expression crossed her face, “wait, how did that get there?”

“You put it there,” Davin explained gently.

“Wow,” Charlotte laughed, “that’s amazing!”

“So, she just drank a bunch at dinner,” I tapped the side of the amber bottle and it rang hollowly, “tell me she didn’t drink all of this. It’s half empty!”

“I had a few,” Davin admitted, “but for the most part it was all her.”

I shook my finger at them, “It’s a wonder you’re not passed out in a puddle of your own vomit! You’re too tiny to drink this much, Charlotte.”

“You’re tiny,” Charlotte retorted, and it was apparently highly humorous, because she went off into gales of laughter again.

Davin sighed, but a smile crept across his face as Charlotte leaned against him and began to play with his hair, “Alright, let’s get you to the kitchen for a big glass of water, shall we?”

“Water!” Charlotte repeated happily, “yay!”

“Sorry to burst in on you like this,” Davin began guiding Charlotte for the door, a difficult process, as she kept stepping on his feet.

“That’s alright,” I grinned, “just make sure she gets lots of water in her and sober her up before you send her to bed with me, please.”

“I’ll do my best.”

I could hear them shuffling their way down the hall, Charlotte’s voice ringing through the passage way, asking if they could get cookies too. I laughed and shook my head, tapping a knuckle on the amber bottle. I never thought I’d see Charlotte drunk. That was a new one.

A gentle tap on the door made my heart quicken. It was too early for Loki to be here, wasn’t it?

“Come in,” I called, and the door creaked open to reveal a servant with long blonde hair and glasses. He was carrying a silver platter with sandwiches on one side and several delicious looking desserts on the other, “Your supper ma’am.” He said.

It was him. My heart was pounding in my ears. I cleared my throat, “Yes, thank you.”

Loki shut the door behind him and set the tray down on top of the chest of drawers. He grinned triumphantly, yanking his wig off and tucking his glasses into his pocket.

“I see your friend Charlotte had a bit too much to drink,” his voice was amused.

“I think she’s a light weight,” I grinned.

Loki came closer, resting one hand on the back of the chair I sat in. When he did so his fingers brushed my shoulder, sending a shiver through me. Had he brushed by me on purpose? He was leaning down to peer into the mirror, face concerned, “You look tired.”

“Everyone keeps saying that,” I grumbled.

“You’re worrying, that’s why,” Loki said sternly, “you should stop worrying and come with me.”

I hesitated, suddenly remembering what Erik had told me. Two weeks and we go into battle. Did I tell Loki? Warning him would officially make me a traitor. I didn’t know much about war, but I knew that warning the enemy camp was considered bad. That was a no brainer. I darted a look around the room, surely this wasn’t bugged and there were no cameras or anything. No, I told myself, there can’t be, or Loki’s little visit the other night would have caused a lot more of a stir.

Heart in my throat, I changed the subject, “Why are you here so early? Isn’t it risky?”

Loki straightened up, shrugging, “you didn’t go to the banquet hall, so I figured it would be realistic if you had dinner ordered to your room, of course, I can’t stay long. People might think you’re having a thing with me,” he looked at me in the mirror and winked. I tried to keep my face straight and keep myself from blushing.

“That would be a ridiculous assumption,” I said haughtily.

“Would it?” Loki’s hand moved on the back of my chair, his fingers brushing along my shoulders again. Obviously not accidental this time. I desperately hoped that he couldn’t see how he was affecting me.

“Yes,” I said coolly, “ridiculous.” I stood up and moved away from the vanity. Settling down on the edge of the king sized bed. Loki sauntered over to sit beside me.

“Have you thought about what I said?” He asked gently.

All I had been doing all day was thinking, thinking and worrying. About the dream, and coming with him, about the war. My chest ached thinking about the women and children in the dream, trapped, frightened, huddled together. His people, the people Amora had spared. In two weeks they would be attacked once again. I had to tell him.

I took a deep breath, “Erik told me something today. Something nobody knows yet.”

Loki looked down at me, face concerned, “What is it?”

“The Queen has decided,” I swallowed hard at the look on his face. He already knew what I was about to say, “she’s going to attack in two weeks.”

Loki was quiet for several long seconds. Would he be angry that I didn’t tell him right away? His face was almost blank, like he was struggling to process emotions right now.

Finally he said in a voice that shook only slightly, “thank you for telling me that.”

My voice was barely a whisper, “you’re welcome.” Dread settled in my stomach. If anyone was listening somehow, I had sealed my fate. I was a traitor. “You’re going to leave now, to warn your people.” It wasn’t a question. The idea of him leaving made me feel slightly panicked, and I realized that having him here had made me feel a tiny bit safer. It was scary that he might be caught, but he was also a backup plan. I could go with him and escape this place if I needed to. Now it seemed that he would be leaving right away. He had to warn his people of course.

Loki looked tortured, “I have to, I have to tell my father. We have to prepare for battle. We knew this day would come at some point, but we’d hoped…” he trailed off helplessly, shaking his head. The look on his face was tearing at my chest, it was hard to draw breath in and out.

He turned to face me, the full force of his brown eyes locked on mine. When Loki reached out and grabbed my hands I didn’t back away or flinch. His hands were warm and rough, strong hands.

His voice was a low, savage whisper, “Say you’ll come with me. Tonight! We’ll go together. You can warn my father, carry the message to him. There is no way he’ll do anything but thank you for it. You’ll be hailed a hero. It’s perfect, Megan. Please, you have to come with me. I can’t leave you here.”

My mouth was completely dry. He was right, it was likely that if I came before the fire king and warned him about what my people were going to do, that he would spare me, perhaps even let me stay there as a guest. And with Loki backing me up…Loki, being with Loki. Traveling with Loki. The idea was incredibly appealing, exciting and terrifying all at the same time. “Let me talk to Charlotte.”

A wide grin brightened his face and he squeezed my hands excitedly, “Excellent. Talk to her, convince her to come. I’ll come back for you tomorrow night.”

So that was it? I had just decided to go with him? My heart was thundering against my ribs, and it took a few seconds for me to breathe again, “Okay, I’ll see you then.”

Then he was gone. Leaving me to wonder what I had just committed to, what I’m about to do and who I’m about to make an enemy out of. What if we're caught sneaking out? What will the consequences be for a traitor?

Charlotte stumbles in later, when I’m in bed and half asleep. She doesn’t appear to have sobered up, because she crashes into the bed post and curses before flopping into bed with all her clothes on. I snort and turn over, jamming one of the decorative silk pillows over my head.

What seemed like seconds later I came out of the fog of sleep to see a crack of light had appeared on the carpet. Did Charlotte leave the door open? A shadow flicked past the light, and instantly I was awake with my heart in my throat. Was it Charlotte stumbling around in the dark? I turned my head ever so slowly and my skin prickled with goose bumps. The lump in the bed beside me told me that she was still there, sleeping soundly. Not good.

Soft footsteps crept toward me. It was so dark that I couldn’t make out a silhouette. I was telling myself to be brave, bracing myself to leap up and run for the light switch, when the weight of the bed shifted, and something heavy came down on my stomach. I jerked upright with a shriek, and something was covering my mouth suddenly. A hand, smothering and heavy, pressing down on my face. I thrashed as hard as I could, but the weight on top of me was too heavy.

Words were being hissed in my ear in the darkness, “You’re a traitor. I saw you. You don’t deserve to lead us. You don’t deserve to live, half-blood. “

The weight on the bed shifted again, and my attacker bore down on me even harder, pressing one hand into my throat so that I saw stars in the darkness.

Suddenly the light flicked on, flooding the room, blinding me. The face of my attacker loomed over me, features blurry at first. Then I could make out fierce blue eyes and a jutting jaw line. A face framed by light blonde hair. Lief was sitting astride my hips, pressing one hand over my mouth, the other pressing down on my neck.  His face was bright red and his eyes were bulging. He was so enraged that he didn’t seem to notice the lights had come on.

“You bitch,” he spat at me, “I’m going to strangle you and dump you in the moat, and nobody will blame me for it, not once I tell them you’re a traitor. I watched him go into your room. You’re a whore. You’re no sister of mine.”

                I choked and thrashed, panic seizing my entire body in an iron vice. I knew I should freeze him, I should reach out and kill him, but I couldn’t seem to take my hands away from my throat, clawing at his hand as my vision slowly narrowed down to a pin prick. Then something else, another fuzzy specter loomed behind him, an amber blur raised above its head. There was a crash, a grunt, and then Lief lurched forward, falling across me, nearly knocking his forehead into mine.

                I dragged air in frantically, relief surging through me. When my vision finally cleared up I could see Charlotte standing beside the bed, looking shell shocked and hungover. She was clutching the neck of the amber bottle, which had broken off into jagged shards, and she wore a man’s white sweater that went down to her knees, which was completely soaked in whine now.

                “Wow,” she said, and I noticed she was swaying a little bit on her feet, “I think I’m done drinking.”