Gavin shot up as soon as his eyes opened. Shit...shit-shit-shit-shit-shit! He was in a blind, guilt-ridden panic. He didn't even look at the other side of the bed where he knew Nines would be curled up on his side. He was still naked. The sheets felt slightly damp where they hadn't dried off properly before stumbling into bed. He quickly threw off the duvet and got to his feet. He definitely needed something, though he had no idea what it was. He settled for tugging on a pair of boxers and staggering his way out into the hall. His hips almost buckled, aches ran down his thighs, and he wasn't even going to think about his ass.

"Gavin?" Nines sounded sleepy as he called through the darkness. Gavin ignored it as he hurried down to the kitchen. He stumbled all the way, barely catching himself on the wall as he took deep breaths and tried to stop shaking. Lynx approached briefly, curling his soft fur along his bare legs before returning to the living area and settling down. Gavin grabbed a glass. His hand trembled as he filled it with cold water. He'd been bandaged again. His wrists and shoulder. The bindings were firm. Wrapped with care. He sighed in frustration before gulping down the water like he was overheating. In some ways, he was. "Gavin...are you alright?" Nines asked softly, feeling him flinch as he pressed up behind.

"Yeah, I'm...Yeah." His voice was croaked and far too quiet.

"Your heart rate is elevated." Nines slowly slipped his arms around his human's waist, pulling him closer. He pressed his chest against Gavin's stiff spine and leaned his head on his shoulder. He pressed gentle kisses into the pliant flesh, nuzzling against his fluffy locks and breathing in his clean scent. "And your stress level." He was slightly troubled as he paused his gentle ministrations, noting the quivering of his tense muscles. Gavin sighed as he ran a hand through his hair.

"I'm fine," he grunted evasively as he stepped out of the embrace, putting the empty glass down as he realised he was still holding it. He felt on edge. His heart was racing, and he didn't know why. He felt like he'd done something wrong, even though every time he thought back, it had felt so fucking right. He was halfway across the living room when a strong hand locked around his good elbow. Nines was conscious of his body's fragility even when he was acting on impulse.

"Stop." He turned Gavin to face him with gentle hands. Gavin felt odd. He looked at the floor, unable to look Nines in the eye. He almost felt ashamed. "Please..." Gentle hands cupped his cheeks to raise his face. He looked like a skittish animal. He was like a feral cat, slowly lured in by kindness for the first time. He was filled with uncertainty, distrust, and vulnerability. It was a rare look for Gavin Reed. It was usually Nines that needed to be grounded. Lost in a sea of fear and doubt. Gavin was the one thing he felt sure about. It was his turn to be the anchor.

He moved slowly, knowing that Gavin was likely to pull away and retreat if he moved too fast. He started with the hands already caressing his stubbled cheeks. He traced his thumbs in gentle circles, treating him like something precious and fragile. He only moved closer as he felt Gavin sinking into the touch. He moved one hand away, slowly slipping his fingers around to caress the back of his neck, then sliding down his curved spine. He didn't go for his lips right away. He leaned their foreheads together, nuzzling and caressing. He risked a small peck on his forehead, pressing another lingering kiss as he didn't pull back.

He took his time, slowly pressing kisses across his soft temple. Green eyes fluttered at the gentle affection, and he leaned further into the comforting touches. Nines enjoyed the feeling of Gavin's soft, warm flesh against his own. They hadn't bothered to dress. They were only wearing boxers. Nines hummed softly, content as he continued dotting kisses along his human's jaw, finally making it to his pale lips. Gavin didn't kiss back at first, lost in nerves or whatever hesitant thoughts he had. After the third press, he finally chased his lips. Nines smiled sweetly as he paused for a longer, lingering kiss before drawing back.

"What are you thinking?" He continued to rub small, reassuring circles into his spine. He'd calmed down now. He was also more awake as he let out a low sigh. He ran a hand over his face and stepped away, leaving him wondering if he'd been mistaken. Perhaps Gavin was still a skittish cat that needed further assurance.

"I keep thinking I made a mistake...I was supposed to be different to those fuckers! I was supposed to be someone you could trust! You're not some Traci made for me to...You're my partner, Nines...and I shouldn't be crossing these boundaries with you. You don't even know what you want yet! How could you? You've barely been out of Cyberlife for two months! Phck, you've only been deviant for a few hours!" Gavin cursed as he took to pacing, or he would have if Nines hadn't stepped in his path. "And now we're both in our pants!" He said it as if that somehow impacted their discussion. Perhaps humans dress differently for different discussions...Nines tilted his head curiously. It was an odd thought, though he did appreciate the sight of Gavin in pants. They were rather fine pants. Encasing a rather fine ass.

"We could remove our pants if that would improve things." Gavin huffed out a small laugh despite the tension. Nines didn't hesitate to rest his hands on Gavin's arms, gripping gently to make sure he had his attention. "Gavin, you make me feel things...Wonderful things that I don't have words for yet. You think of me more than anyone ever has. You worry about my comfort and my feelings, and I adore you for it. You're the only thing I want in the whole world...The only person I've considered important enough to want." He felt reassured as Gavin's green gaze soften, but it soon became troubled. He was genuinely concerned about the ramifications of his words.

"But that's not how it's supposed to be! You don't even understand what you want yet! You can't possibly know that! You want me because I'm the first human you met who gave a shit. You've latched onto me because I showed you kindness. If I let you do this, I'm just abusing you." Gavin felt even worse as Nines' silvery eyes dropped sadly. He was closing in on himself, just as Gavin was closing himself off. Shit, I'm such a phcking idiot! How many times did I tell myself not to get in this deep?

You don't feel anything for me? Nines looked somehow small despite his height.

"That's not it! I care, alright, I phcking...I wouldn't want you the way I do if I didn't..." He trailed off miserably. There was no way he was going to start spouting about barely formed emotions he wasn't willing to put a name to. Sure, he got a soft, warm, fuzzy feeling every time he looked at him, and yeah, his stomach filled with butterflies in a way he hadn't felt since his first crush in elementary school, but that didn't mean he was catching feelings!

Then why is it a problem? Are you ashamed of me? Is it because I'm a machine? Does that mean I'm not real to you? Nines was sure those were concerns he'd in the past. Many would consider it weird. A human and an android. It was also a complication that they worked together as partners. Gavin didn't know what would happen if Fowler found out. He hadn't split up Hank and Connor, but he had no idea what type of relationship they had, despite Tina's insistence that they were fucking. But I don't want to fuck Nines, I want to...

"I don't know, alright? I'm not ashamed, and of course you're phcking real, but being a different species is something we have to think about." He regretted it almost instantly. He was putting barriers between them, unsure whether Nines would tear them down. Did he want him to tear them down? Why put them up in the first place? He looked at Nines and he just wanted him. So phcking badly. He knew he shouldn't. Nines was young. He was vulnerable. He was an android. He'd been a victim or extreme mental and physical abuse.

You said I could have you. He looked hurt. Gavin's cheeks flushing slightly as he recalled their earlier...Our earlier what? Fuck? Tryst? Love making? There's no way I can just call what we did sex...There was also no response to what Nines had said. It was true. He'd told Nines that, and he'd meant it. He looked away. He was stuck in a catch-twenty-two. He couldn't say he belonged to Nines and keep him at arm's length. At the same time, he couldn't be with him without taking advantage of him. You lied to me?

"No! Nines, phck!" He felt shitty and frustrated because he was hurting Nines by trying to do the right thing. This would have been a whole lot easier if I hadn't been a phcking moron last night! But last night it had felt so good. So right. So natural. He'd fit perfectly in Nines' hands. Their coupling had happened so seamlessly. Even now he just wanted to...Phck. "Look, you need to have more time...You need to go out and experience things! Meet more people. Learn what it means to want someone so completely. Right now, you're just...You want me so badly because I'm your lifeline, and phck, I'll always be that for you." Gavin rested a fist on Nines' shoulder, staring at his sculpted pecs and following the scattering trail of freckles and moles.

But that's all? He looked heartbroken.

"For now...We'll just...take it slow." His chest twisted painfully at the idea of encouraging Nines to leave his side. He was bound to find someone else. Someone younger. Someone better. Maybe someone of the opposite gender. Maybe another android. Someone he could bond with properly. And that would be a good thing. Mixing work and pleasure is a bad idea. Fucking an android is also a bad idea, and fucking a victim is the mother of all bad ideas! Phcking moron! "Come on...Let's get a couple more hours' sleep." He didn't mention it as Nines followed him into his bedroom. He also didn't mention it as they both climbed beneath the covers of his bed. Nor as Nines shuffled closer and slipped a warm arm around his waist. He screwed his eyes shut as he mentally kicked himself, reaching down to grip Nines' hand for comfort. I'm so phcking weak!