He made me so angry I could remember it to this day.
I fell asleep in his arms and woke up in my sheets. Alone.

He didn't even bother to stay with me. Leave me a message or something ..nothing.
Yes I've been on his case whenever I get the chance to see him. I just worry about him.

It frustrates me that he won't open up to tell me anything. He won't even come to church anymore.

I love and miss him so much it's not even a joke.

"Aye Mya remember sister rosa Sunday ?" Everyone round the table started laughing.

"Jesus is coming soon , repent repent!!" He said in a Spanish accent. He was mocking the old lady. It was funny. Just missing August drains me.

"Aye Mya I gotta talk to you" outta nowhere he just pops up. He grabs my hand and helps me get up . Everybody started bawling out August name and stuff being so extra.

"So wassup"
I said as chill as possible.

"Mya.." He breathes out. "Mya I .. I can't do this.. "

"August-" my eyes were starting to feel that familiar sting.

"Nah Mya listen I can't do it , I don't wanna hurt you , I'm no good for you . You deserve better , I'm not that guy for you -"

"Why you keep telling me this ?!-"

"Ma -"
"No ! You say you don't want to hurt me but your hurting me now" I say while tears are rushing down my face.

"I love you , why can't you understand that , I know you feel the same ! You can't deny the feeling that you get when we kiss " I stretch my hand up to his face and caress his cheek he even finds comfort in my hand.

"I know you love me just tell me what's wrong baby .. Let me help you , let me be there to comfort you baby -"

"Hey baby " all of a sudden this hand pushes me away from him.

I was so confused. Baby ?
" hey Pam " no... Nooo
" I was looking all over for you baby "
"Baby ? August what the hell is going on ?"

"Oh August didn't tell you yet , oh wait did I interrupt?" Why was Pamela callin him baby ?

"Oh sweetie August doesn't want you anymore okay ? He got tired of your blind behind" she started laughing. I took me all the strength I had left not to break down.

"That's not why I'm doin this , I told you I don't wanna hurt you , we can't do this anymore "

"That's only piece of it baby , he don't want no church girl , he wants one of those girls that would only be bad for him" I hear her plant a kiss on face .

"Enough Pamela, I'll see you around Mya"

"Bye blind girl" I could hear the victory in her voice.
I then broke down. He left me.
He really left me. He wasted no time in getting a new girl either.

Out of all of them Pamela.

~~
"Oohhhhh
I trusted you, I trusted you
So sad, so sad
what love will make you do
All the things that we accept
Be the things that we regret
Too all of my ladies (ladies)
Feel me c'mon sing wit m-"

"Myaaa you can't stay crying all day , your gonna get a headache "

"Becca I honestly don't feel like going anywhere "

"Babe he's a douche , he just doesn't realize what he has , or maybe he's just going through the motion or a phase and he just doesn't understand what to do" I kinda ignore half of what she said because I was listening to the song.

"Baby why you hurt me leave me and desert me
Boy I gave you all my heart
And all you do is tear it up
Looking out my window
Knowing that I should go -"

"Myaaaaaa!" Becca groaned. She started pulling me. She was just about getting on my last nerves . Like let me cry in peace.

"I hate seeing you like this Mya , I've known you for years we are basically connected . When you hurt I hurt"

"I'm sorry ... I can't help the way I feel , he left me becca. The one guy I fell head over heel for . He came to church with me . I love him so much. We shared so many precious moments together" I hugged my pillow. My head ached so much just thinking about everything we've been through.

He left me for the same girl he ditched the day he met me.

*flashbacks*
Augu-"
"Goddamn Mya i didnt know you like Victoria secret" my mouth dropped open in shock.

"August !!" I shrieked i picked up my pillow and aimin it in a place where i think he is. He however begins laughing.

"Too late na , a nigga done got a hard on"

"Close my panty drawer!!"

"Buh ma-"
"Close it!!"

He sighed. " Fine, but i'm taking some of these home with me"

"August put back my panties!!" I shrieked as he laughed. His laugh was contagious. I began laughing with him as well.

*another flashback*

"I know..c'mere" he brought me into his arms. "Ma.. you make me feel so good about myself i feel so lucky to even be talking to you now.. you are so beautiful inside and out..why would i want other trashy hoes when i got something great goin on here" he place his hand by my chin and lifted up my face.

"Mya..i didnt wanna say this too early but i .. rather you over any of them girls.."he brought my face closer to him "because..-" he pecked me slowly. Making butterflies fly around in my belly. "I-" peck. "Love" peck. "You" he then kissed me fully and slowly.

*another flashback *
"Mya i know today is about me but I gotta do this. I love you with my whole damn heart. I have never felt this way about anyone. You drive me crazy babe. Speaking of drivin me crazy .. What the hell your front door doin open?! You know how many crazy pe-"

"Oh nigga shut it up and continue" i hear becca yell.

"And yea I wouldn't ask this if I didn't plan on marrying you in the future. Mya will you be my girl ? Officially ?"

*end of flashbacks*

My thoughts were interrupted by Rebecca. "Myaaaaaaa!" She scoffs. As I was gonna apologize because I know I'm being a pain in the butt.

"You wanna be depressed then I'll join you " she hopped in the bed and turned the tv on.

"You don't have to -"
"I wouldn't be a best friend if I didn't" we both cuddled up with the sheets and she watched the tv while I listened.

~~~
August POV
"Aight Pamela get off my back , damn"  I was really getting tired of her . I still can't believe I dumped the love of my life.
My future bride .. Wife .. Mother of my soon to be children . Damn . I had to protect her. I wasn't to put her life at risk again.

"Aight baby I'll see you tomorrow " she tried kissing my lips but I turned my head so she kiss my cheek.

She scoffed at me with , this whole brand new attitude. She rolled her eyes and walk away .
Thank God I was getting tired of her .

I went to go chill with the boys at Dennis's house.
Let's see how their going to react to the whole thing.

10 minutes later...

"Ion mean to say it lord , but  August you such a dumb ass "  Dennis cursed.

"Father forgive him for he knows not what he do"

" how you going let a good potential girl go?!"

"Let's start with point number one.." Pierre said as they call huddled up together.

"She ain't a hoe " Pierre said.
"She go to church " Dennis continued.
"She doing good in school" Marcus followed.
"She fine as hell "
"And she could sing!"
"The only man she going love next to you is Jesus" Reggie said .

"I know man I know " I dragged my hands down my face.

"Last but not least you both love each other we all see it when y'all together " I understand but damn.

"I gotta protect her , Shawn out here hunting me down man ion want her to get hurt"

"Okay okay I understand " Marcus said giving me that pensive look.

"Well aight did you explain that to her ?" Dennis asked.

"No" I sat chill and drank soda .
"I'm ready to smack the livin hell outta you"

"So what did you tell her?" Pierre asked.

"I told her that I wasn't good enough for her " I could see Dennis mugging me out the corner of my eyes.

"Thassit?" Marcus asked.

"Nah Pamela pulled up and kissed me and told her I didn't  want her "

"What'd you do ?"
"Lord please tell me he did something"

"Nothing , Pamela with me now " I heard Dennis inhaled like he bout to die. Dramatic.  All of them groaned.

He was coming at me but the boys held him back. "Ayye I got this " Marcus pulled up and smacked me upside my head. "Dumbass"

"Oww aye man"  I rubbed the back of my head. Damn.

" how you going to go from potential to hoe " he tried weighing them out with his hands. " they don't even fit in the same category "

" you don't find girls like her everyday man , the least you could have done was explain but you had to be extra taking another girl ... Not just any girl .. Pamela, the same damn girl who is your girls enemy .. prolly threatened her everyday before we came , the same girl you ditched to spend time with Mya. I just don't understand you" he was right.

Ain't no denying it. I am the worst person ever. That's why she shouldn't be with me.

"I swear that's why girls turning damn lesbians!" Marcus complained.

"You know I just think you need some time to yourself to just think man , Mya  is a ROD "

" think about it man"
I sighed. Life was getting so complicated.