CHAPTER FOURTEEN.

By the time they reached the closest med-centre, Phoenix felt light-headed. It was a quick process to heal the wound and she was given a bacta shot and stitches and told to rest for a few days. Nobody asked questions about what had happened. The neighbourhood was reputable but by now, news had begun to spread of an assassin on the loose to kill a Senator. It wasn't hard to put it together that Phoenix was the very Senator there had been gossip about.

But she didn't care about their looks or curiosity or invasive questions. She ignored most of them, thinking too much about what had happened, Obi-Wan's conflict and hesitation. He was there to catch the assassin but the second she got hurt, it all seemed to fall apart. She just hoped that he caught her or found something that would help. She couldn't continue like this much longer and Jax could see that on her face as they got into the hover taxi.

As she sat down, her side ached. Her teeth gritted as she stared out the window. Her thoughts elsewhere and Jax's attempts to engage her in conversation fell completely flat. Phoenix just wanted to know that Obi-Wan was okay. Jax could see that. He could see the conflict and the terror on her features. But he said nothing, allowing her to ruminate as they headed back to the Senate.

Once they got back to their room, Jax let her down onto the sofa but she couldn't stay still. She got up and walked over to the kitchen. She let out a soft hiss of pain as she bent over to find something in the fridge and Jax walked over. He gently took a hold of her hip and urged her to turn around but she moved away from his touch.

"Please don't touch me," She mumbled as she stepped back. A wave of pain ran through her side and she knew that the bacta should be working by now but she ignored it. She could get another bacta shot if she needed to. She just needed to know that the assassin had been caught, that everything would be okay.

"Phoenix," Jax said as he stepped back. She met his gaze and he looked concerned, so genuinely concerned. She would have melted for that look a few weeks ago but now, all she could think about was Obi-Wan. How she wished that was him and she turned away and walked over to the sofa, "What do you want? I will get it if you just sit down." His words were gentle but almost threatening.

She shook her head slightly before she dropped down onto the sofa. Her side ached again and she let her eyes fall shut, silently working through the pain that spread across her entire body. She felt like she was falling apart at the seams. Her entire body collapsing under the emotional weight of her life despite how she tried to keep herself together.

"I want to know if she was caught or if I have to live with this fear," Phoenix responded as she opened her eyes again. Her hand moved to press against the stitched wound. The pressure relieved the pain but only slightly.

"Do you need another bacta shot?" he asked and Phoenix nodded. As he searched, she turned and moved to lie back on the sofa. Her head rested against the pillow as she let her eyes close. The pain was worse than she had expected but she had been shot so she wasn't sure what she should have expected, "This might hurt." Jax's voice was soft as he pushed the needle into her side.

The pain was instantly relieved and her shoulders relaxed. Whatever they had used at the med-centre was not a strong enough shot but that was. She opened her eyes and Jax still looked concerned and conflicted.

"I'm still not safe if Obi-Wan comes back without her," Phoenix mumbled. Jax nodded and grabbed the foot stool from in front of the armchair. He set it down and sat in front of her on the sofa. She pushed her fingers across her face before letting out a soft sigh. Her hands moved to rest against her stomach as she let her eyes close again.

"But it's not your safety you're worried about is it?" He asked. Phoenix's eyebrows pulled together as she turned her head to look at Jax, opening her eyes again. She knew she had been caught out but she didn't want to admit that. She was going to marry Jax in a few months, that couldn't be jeopardised.

"She is dangerous," Phoenix murmured in response. Jax chuckled humorlessly as he stared down at his hands.

"And he is a Jedi." Phoenix stared at him for a moment, not entirely sure what to think. There was no rebuttal that could make this better. A soft sigh escaped her lips and she turned her head away from him, "You never wanted this marriage, did you?"

The silence was long and drawn out before a sigh escaped his lips. Phoenix squeezed her eyes shut, not ready to admit the truth. But it had been a long time coming. She was in love with Obi-Wan still and she needed to let Jax go while she still could.

"I thought I did," She mumbled after a moment. Jax watched her face for signs of dishonesty but she was telling the truth, "I thought I could love you but I can't." Saying those words felt so hard but the second they had left her lips, she felt free. Jax's face dropped at them and she tried not to wince. It had been such a cruel way to phrase it but she didn't know how else to tell him how she felt. There was no easy way to admit it.

"I won't tell your father this is how it ended," Jax said as he stood up from his seat. Phoenix frowned and she watched him cross towards the bedroom door. He vanished through it and part of her wanted to fight. Part of her wanted to get him and beg him to not let this end but she had to. She didn't love him and she knew that she never would. It was better to end it now.

So, she didn't move while Jax packed his stuff away. She just stared at the ceiling, a lump in her throat. Her eyes were glassy but she knew it was for the best even if she hated it. No begging would make him change his mind now and she knew it was better this way.

She only looked away from the ceiling when Jax appeared, a bag in his left hand. He smiled at Phoenix before turning his head and disappearing out of the door. There was no words, no discussion. He simply left. The door whooshed shut behind him and the emptiness felt crushing. She sunk back into the sofa and let it consume her.

Somehow, setting herself free from Jax didn't make her feel better. She didn't know why, maybe it was the thought that she would be lonely forever. Maybe it was that she knew it was pointless. Obi-Wan would never be able to marry her, love her, be with her. She had expected it to make her feel free, happy but she just felt lonely.

But then the door opened again and Obi-Wan walked in. He was panting, out of breath and the frustration was etched onto his features. His hair had fallen in front of his face and he was quick to sweep it back. The beads of sweat evident in his hairline. He closed the door behind him and looked at her. His eyes flitted across her features. Her lip was trembling, her hands were in her lap, fingers playing with each other. Her eyes glazed and the tiredness was more evident than it had ever been.

"What happened?" He asked with a sense of urgency that she had never heard before. He sat down next to her and was quick to shuffle closer to her. Phoenix burst into tears. She wasn't even sure where the guttural sob came from but they fell from her lips as she leant against him.

He was quick to pull her onto his lap and hold her against his chest, gently shushing her and calming her down with soothing words, "Hey, hey, come on, it's okay. What's happened?" He whispered as he rested his head against hers. Phoenix tried to tell him but all she could really get out was 'engagement' 'gone' and 'Jax' which was enough for Obi-Wan to work out what had happened. The blubber and stuttering of her words was enough to make his heart ache. He held her closer and kept her tight against his chest until her sobs died away.

By the time that the sobs were gone, she felt a little better. His arms wrapped tightly around her were beyond comforting. Her hands found his and she tangled their fingers together. And much to Phoenix's surprise, he let it happen and even found comfort in her soft touch. He couldn't help himself and let her snuggle up to him as she tried to keep her breathing regular.

"He left because I'm in love with you," She muttered after a moment. She knew that it was bold to say and Obi-Wan had been very clear that his opinion had changed but she didn't care. He deserved to know. Obi-Wan looked down at her for a moment before he sighed. Phoenix lifted her head up, her chin resting against his chest as she looked into his eyes. She didn't know what she expected but him staring right back at her was not what she had expected. She expected an awkward shuffle and then him leaving but that was not what happened. He just stayed and looked at her in that way that made her melt.

"I broke your heart once," He muttered and then Phoenix moved. She wiped her cheeks and straddled his lap. Her hands resting on his cheek, finally giving into herself. She stroked his beard, her fingers running through it while one hand rested in his hair.

"Then don't do it again," She muttered before she leant forward. A soft kiss being pressed to his lips. Obi-Wan was surprised by how short it was and how quickly she moved away so he was quick to pull her back. He kissed her passionately and lovingly. He kept her close as her fingers tangled into his hair.

Nothing had ever felt more right to Obi-Wan than kissing her and being with her. It had something he had tried to reconcile with over the year but he would never pass up the opportunity to feel so happy again. He didn't care about anything else but having her right here with him. The Force wanted him to do it so the Code be damned, he was going to kiss her till he couldn't anymore.

And that's exactly what they did. By the time they had had enough of kissing, they were lying down on the couch together. Phoenix snuggled into his chest, her lips swollen from his kisses. Her arms wrapped around his torso as they watched a holo-show. It was something trashy and Obi-Wan felt himself drifting off to sleep as he snuggled up to her. Her warmth along with his general sleepiness during the night left him half-asleep.

Then there was a knock at the door and it woke Obi-Wan right back up. He jumped at the sound and his eyebrows pulled together. A soft groan fell from Phoenix's lips but she sat up a little more, either way. Using his chest to help her sit and when she looked at the holo clock she realised it was nearing 3am.

"It's the Jedi that you switch shifts with. You've got to go," Phoenix muttered as she climbed off him. Obi-Wan groaned softly, clearly exhausted as he looked at her through hooded eyes. One of his arms draped across his forehead. She then reached out to take his hand, pulling him off the couch. He got up with her and sighed. She then leant forward and pressed a kiss to his jaw. Before fixing his hair and pushing him towards the door.

"Will you be okay?" He asked as he looked over at her. Phoenix nodded, giving him a soft smile. She didn't know if she would be but she knew it would be fine in the end. She had slept alone plenty of times. The comfort of someone else was lost but Jax was never really in the bed anyway so it wouldn't feel much different.

He eventually left after some discussion and Phoenix left to go to the bedroom. She needed sleep, she was exhausted and she had fallen asleep on Obi-Wan so that hopefully meant that she could fall asleep in bed perfectly fine. She was hoping that was the case.

But it wasn't. As she rolled over in bed again, she realised there wouldn't be any sleep for her that night. She just couldn't settle. She had changed into her comfy fluffy pyjamas, even sprayed some lavender scent in hope of getting herself to sleep but it felt impossible. She just couldn't fall asleep and she didn't understand or know why.

It was most likely due to her anxious mind. Her brain was so full of thoughts that she just couldn't focus on staying asleep or sleeping at all. She rolled over in bed again and she realised something. The realisation hit her like a truck and she let out a loud sigh.

Her father was going to know why she broke up with Jax. Her father knows about Obi-Wan and their romance as teenagers. He knows that she has a Jedi protector. He will probably put it together and he will be disappointed. She stared at the wall in front of her and the anxiety flooded her system quickly.

Phoenix was not a woman who aimed to please her father but she hated him being disappointed. He allowed her to paint and she enjoyed the artistic expression but still he wanted her to pursue politics which she did. Painting went to the side because that's what he wanted and she wanted it too. It was what her mother had always wanted and it felt like giving her what she could never have and well, Phoenix always wanted to make Mith better

Politics was not her first choice but she did it and her father was proud. Her father got her this suitor, he got her Jax. It took so much time and commitment but they were engaged. The marriage was paid for. Her father wanted her to get married and have it be a nice affair. One that would suit her but that wouldn't be happening. The marriage was gone and it made her dread returning home to him. She didn't know what she would say when she faced him.

She had ruined her one chance at a good life. She had ruined her chance to have children, have a family and live a somewhat reputable life. She had lost it all because she was in love with an unavailable Jedi Master. Though her swollen lips told a different story, she knew he would never abandon his duty for her.

This tired, exhausted night they spent cuddled up together was likely never going to happen again and that thought lingered in the back of her mind. She knew he would not stay around for long. She knew. He wasn't going to go against the code, he would never break the code. He was too honest, too honourable and he was going to break her heart all over again. And yet, he had been the one that initiated the kisses. She was so confused. Her head hurt.

Phoenix sat up. She looked around the room and the bag in the corner was calling her. The painting easel and paints. They were calling her, they were her escape but she couldn't

So rather than thinking about painting, she stood up and made her bed. Grabbing her fluffy robe, she pulled it around herself and headed towards the small study before remembering that it was still being repaired so she couldn't work there. So, she would return to the living space. If she was going to be up and awake, like how she felt now, then she knew that she might as well do some Senate business, write speeches, do something.

There were still millions of things she was planning to do when she woke up but she wasn't going to sleep so she decided that she might as well just do them now. Grabbing various books from the shelves, she walked back into the lounge and made sure to close the study door behind her. With a heavy sigh, she sat down in the lounge area and began to work on a speech and found some statistics she could use for it. Some different perspectives she could consider too.

The study still being fixed up was a little frustrating for the blonde. She wanted to be able to work but either way Phoenix was glad that it was getting fixed. She needed the study for everything but for now, she was dealing with the couch that swallowed her whole. It was definitely the more comfortable place to write.

As the day drew closer and the sun began to rise, Phoenix grew more exhausted and her speeches were finished up eventually. And as the sun began to creep over the horizon, Phoenix was sleeping. Her face mushed against the couch arm as her datapad dropped from her hands. The exhaustion had completely taken her over and finally, she was able to find some peace away from her anxiety-ridden mind.

-

When the time came for Phoenix to go to the Senate, Obi-Wan had to wake her up. Thankfully he had woken her up with enough time to allow her to get ready but she had nearly missed everything due to her own exhaustion. Cursing herself, she rushed around and was ready in the quickest time possible.

The pair then quickly left the room and began their walk to the Senate meetings. The silence between them was awkward and suffocating. Phoenix hated it. She wanted to say something but everything that came to mind felt awkward and she did not intend to make this any worse than it already was. She kept looking at him, hoping to find that he was looking back but he hadn't. Not once so she finally spoke.

"Are you okay?" Phoenix asked and Obi-Wan looked at her. His face expressionless before he gave her a curt smile but no response other than a short nod that she barely noticed. Phoenix nodded, trying to think of something else to say while also debating if it was even worth trying to make any sort of conversation with him.

He seemed to be avoiding it and she knew this would happen. She expected it to happen. He was, of course, going to ignore her. She was stupid enough to believe he wouldn't for just a moment and those were the stupidest few minutes of her life. He wasn't going to let this happen again. He had left her all those years ago for a reason.

"Please don't ignore me," Phoenix muttered as she looked at him. Obi-Wan then stopped them both and looked at her, facing her properly. The way she pleaded with him made his heart ache. He knew that he wanted to be with her. He wanted to kiss her but the larger part of him knew that he couldn't. He couldn't betray the Order.

"What do you want me to do, Phoenix?" He asked as he looked into her eyes. She sighed and shrugged. There was nothing she could say to him. She couldn't order him to love her and they couldn't talk about this here in the open in the Senate. It was dangerous enough as it was so she just continued to walk and he stared at her. The silence lingered between them as Phoenix fidgeted with her datapad

She felt idiotic. This situation was stupid. She wanted Jax back. And the more she sat in the silence, the more she realised that she would have rather been with Jax. Rather suffered in a loveless marriage than pine for someone that would never have her. She had left her heart win in the most idiotic way. Obi-Wan couldn't have her, he wouldn't. It went against everything he believed in.

"I'm sorry for last night," Phoenix muttered before she sped up, just wanting to get away from him. She didn't want to give in to her emotions. She needed to be distracted by her duties. The duties she held to her people. That's what she needed to focus on, not marriage or her lack of a future. None of that mattered right now.

She got to the door of her meeting and walked in with all the confidence that she could muster. Obi-Wan followed behind after a few moments but she didn't look. She sat with the other Senators in the room. She just had to focus on this. Focus on doing what's best for her people. That's all she needed to do and then everything would be fine and perfect. Nothing mattered except getting this trade deal for her people and then going back to her room.

-

NOTE; so jax is gone... and obi is here?? this chapter is full of dramatics with some fluff sprinkled in! honestly still love this story even if it isn't perfect but i hope you guys have enjoyed this chapter and are enjoying reading it!